Author: lost_soul7201

The Review

Cover, Title and Description

I really really like the cover, looks soothing to the eye and the blend of the pictures of the characters has been done beautifully. I like the light background too. The fonts look fabulous. Nice work on the cover.

The title is good, though a bit common but fits the story.

I love the description! The quote you used in the beginning from Bible was truly genius. You showed a glimpse of what's going to happen which was nice. Then you gave a small background to the leads in the description itself which is even better. Though there were some grammatical errors, you jumped from past tense to present tense while describing Manik and Nandini's love for each other.

First Chapter

Cute but not captivating enough. But you did leave a hint of MaNan's romance in the next chapter which made me wanna read it.

Character Development

Not much in the first 5 chapters. Nandini's sometimes behaving caring sometimes bold, probably because she is pregnant. Manik's trying to hold his family together whilst Aryamann is a mystery.

Plot and Storyline

Plot is developing at a fair pace with Soha's entry after the fifth chapter. There were some plot holes like in the first chapter what was Avni doing in MaNan's room? I would have considered it but then you mentioned that they had made love the previous night. I am pretty sure Avni was not in the room then. Then in one of the chapters who wrote 'Mr. Randhawa' in the place of 'Mr. Khurrana'.

Storyline is not that rare, Soha- an insane girl trying to win Manik by hook or by crook. At least that's what I interpreted from the first 5 chapters. The only storyline I liked was Aryamann's. I like his character and I guess he liked Nandini too but Nandini chose Manik over him that's the reason of his aloofness. This is just a guess though, I am not sure.

Grammar and Detailing

You grammar is somewhat okay, you don't jump from this tense to that tense in the chapters unlike the description. But my main concern is that you use some words which don't exist only. There's nothing like 'sitted' it's 'seated'. And the word 'presented' didn't fit in the context when you were writing the conference room scene. There are some spelling mistakes which are corrigible. I suggest you to proofread once before publishing the chapters.

You haven't really detailed anything, you use pictures instead of describing a scene which should not be done while writing a story. It's like you are describing how Manik is hugging Nandini by a picture. Try to use more words.

Overall Rating
3