Author: emilylive

The Review

Cover, Title and Description

I really like the cover. It's sweet and simple with a girl sitting on the street. I really like the fonts and the pink and white combo of it. Your username also looks really well placed and is of the correct size.

Title is basic. It's simple, and the simplicity is it's beauty. I like it. The vibe of the title is damn nice.

Description is too short, in my say. You could have written more in it. It doesn't really capture the readers' interest.

First Chapter

The first chapter had a lot going on. Like a lot. In that short chapter you tried to insert a lot many things together. You took small leaps, showed some conversations but it all felt really rushed to me. Amidst so much, certain things lacked detailing.

Character Development

Character development is pretty fast. There was a time when Bethany had just one guy in her dreams, Asher. And now, all of a sudden, she has so many love interests. First Noah and now Joe too. I don't know if they are love interests or just some passing characters and this is where the blurb comes in use. If you could just construct it in a better way and include the star cast of the story, then it would be easy for the readers to at least expect something like a slight romance or heartbreak or adventure. Anything.

Plot and Storyline

Plot is moving fast for now. It's not been much chapters and Bethany just moved out of her hometown and embarked on a new experience in New York. The moving out was a bit rushed but I think it was because you just wanted her to get out of there and start writing the real story in New York.

I can't predict the storyline now. It's too early.

Grammar and Detailing

Grammar is honestly a problem. You really need to proofread. I think you have potential but for some reason you are not able to execute it properly. There were petty errors here and there like sometimes you forget to quote dialogues. You try to write in present tense, I really don't know why. Why do you have to write it in present tense? All the tense shifting problems in stories is mainly because the writer tries to write in present tense but ends up messing it all. The first part of the first chapter was in past tense but then it just changed. And after that, the tense just went haywire. You forget to add punctuations, mainly the full stop at the end of sentences and dialogues. And one more thing, please refrain from using text language like 'tbh'.

The detailing, as I said, lacked because you rushed in the initial chapters. You could have described Kate and Justin a bit. Noah's description was nice, will have to admit that. Other than all of that, detailing was okay.

Overall Rating

3