Author: schoolsucks2003

The Review

Cover, Title and Description

The cover is somewhat good but the full title is not written in it, you should add that. Another thing, I understand you wanna show that you were a judge and reviewer, I have no problem that you put up the sticker on your book cover but the size of it is just too big. It's taking up a lot of space. I'll suggest you to minimize it.

I kinda like the title, gives off a cool vibe. A perfect, jolly teen fiction title.

I actually liked how you framed the blurb. First Electra's small character sketch then Breaker's small character sketch. However, in the last paragraph I think you wrote "reviled" in place of "revealed". I am a but confused, to be honest. Is the title "Breaking the Badasses" or "Breaking the Bad"? In the cover and description, it's the former one and in the title it's the latter one.

First Chapter

The first chapter is more or less about Lux and Jessie, an introduction kind of chapter. I liked how you took a chapter to show how the trio became best of friends.

Character Development

The characters were okayish. Not much believeable. Like Electra and her group was cool and all but rain of multicolored water and feathers in school? Sounds like a great prank but executing it so easily without any hasle was bizzare. Their parents, I don't know what they were thinking when the planned to leave two happening teens under the same roof.

Plot and Storyline

Plot development is alright with small chapters. The plot was however, a bit too easy flowing compared to what was actually happening in the story. Plot holes were that no girl applies so much of makeup and smokey eyes and all that to school. Secondly, the gym guy told her to come back at 7 pm and not 7 am. Thirdly, Electra was so strong that she knocked the guy out in hardly 30 seconds who was called "The Wall" Is this at all believable? At least you could have shown some struggles, how she was knocked out but managed to get on her feet and stuff.

The storyline is honestly out of my thinking capacity. I have no idea what's happening. Instead of just Breaker being at her home, five more guys come in and she is not even uncomfortable.

Grammar and Detailing

Grammar in the matter of tense was alright, but I have to mention that your way of writing could be improved a lot more. Number one, why do you leave a space, then write the comma, then again leave a space and write the next line? Number two, what method of writing have you chosen actually? Is it the SMS form (:)? Or the quotation form? You juggle between these two according to your convenience. Number three, why so many unnecessary brackets? Why do you have to write Jessie and Lux's names in brackets in the first chapter? Number four, you change point of views. Number five, you sometimes use * to show something like *Jessie walks in*. Oh and I noticed an Emoji too. Please try to refrain from doing all these.

Detailing was the only thing I was satisfied with. A fair description of the characters and clothes and setting was included. However, I would suggest you to not add pictures in the middle of your chapters.

Overall Rating

2

Sorry if you felt that I was harsh, but I couldn't overlook certain things. Hope you will understand that this is for your betterment only.