Author: moonrose_writes

1. Title:

I'll admit at first I thought oh this title seemed too meaningful. I typically like simple and effective titles. But once I started to read the story I was like this title is perfect for this story. You did justice to this title. It's a beautiful title.

2. Blurb:

Ok so the blurb itself is fine. It's concise and was a good description. But the issue came up the outline of the plot. Its a story that has a generic plot, aside from the suicide scene. There is no central problem. So the story would be filled with a lot of fluff scenes is my guess. It might be more of a philosophical read. Deep meanings and all. Subjectively speaking, I'm not normally drawn to those types of reads. I like an action filled story and many younger readers are drawn to those types of stories as well. Most readers on Wattpad are young. Objectively speaking, this story is very likable to the mature older readers. Literature loving readers. Although I'm one of those older readers, I like philosophical reads but avoid reading them because I think about those books for days and it tugs at those heart strings. I like to read to refresh and relax my mind with action stories.

3. Characters:

Very very well developed. All of them. Especially the female lead. The females leads thoughts are not immature. Her feelings and thoughts are realistic for a suicide victim. Your writing was very smooth and flowed well. Transitions in her thoughts were well placed.

4. Plot:

Like I said before, I think there's going to be a lot of fluff and philosophical deep meanings. Not my taste but definitely might attract a different group of readers.

5. Overall picture/enjoyability:

I would read for your writing, but not the plot. I have noticed a massive improvement in your writing compared to your first book. Well done! The writing is what made this book shine.

If you want to attract readers like me to your book, I would suggest for you to start the story from before the suicide scene. Let us know what the female lead was going through before the suicide and make us emotionally attached to her. Give a walk through her years growing up how she was ignored but how she was so sweet and tried to get along with everyone regardless. Make the scenes interesting and not too fluffy. More action. Like bullying scenes and stuff (I don't support bullying, I'm telling you this as a writer oof no misunderstandings lol). This will make the suicide scene way more heartwrenching. Therefore, the climax would be the suicide scene, your main problem.

Anyways good luck writing! ❤️