This is a review I did with the permission of a friend to show you an example of the kind of review I give. However, this is not the full review, this is only a small portion. Life has gotten a little busy lately, among other ups and downs that the year keeps throwing my way. For this reason, I am only going to post the review for the prologue as an example of a mock review and will post the completed review for this lovely individual later on.

Uplifting: WARNING THIS CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR THE PROLOGUE OF dreams_of_silvers "Solivagant".

The best way to begin a review is with a spot of tea and a snack. Do you prefer floral or fruity based tea? Today's snack is chocolate chip cookies, help yourself.

"Solivagant" is a fun story about Asher, a magi in a world where having magic means being killed or becoming a killer. The premise is intriguing, it grabs you by the lapels with no intention of letting you go. I highly recommend this book to anyone who likes a classic hero's journey, high fantasy, with many unexpected turns and excellently developed friendships.

Prologue

The first line of a story is important, it's what snags the reader and begs them to read more. Oftentimes, with first lines, it can be overlooked. After reading further into your story and seeing your writing develop, which it really did, I'm quite impressed. I've noticed that the first line of your story doesn't stand up to the same standard as the rest of the book.

"The little boy had never been so scared" (_dreams_of_silver prologue).

It's not bad, it serves the purpose of showcasing that the story is jumping into the action, however, I think it could certainly be more dynamic. Rather than tell us he's scared, you could showcase his fear. Or better yet, make the situation more grave.

"He was going to die."

"Anything unnatural was feared, and for that, it was eliminated."

"Cold claws of fear burrowed into the little boy's heart, chaining him to the earth as if he were bound."

"Blood, smoke, and fear hung over the marketplace, intent on devouring any who defied the natural order, the magi."

These examples above have the ability to potentially grab tighter to the reader than the chosen line. However, I won't go too into that, being that I know you are intending to change your beginning which I am excited to see.

This child has magic just like the woman fighting. As seen later in the book, there are moments when Asher (the little boy) is frightened and loses his hold on magic.

To increase the tension of the scene, include the physical reaction to fear, trembling, crying, heart racing, adrenaline pumping, or anything along those lines. Consider having him struggle as he does later on to keep his magic in control, especially considering the woman who is being attacked in the center by someone who would just as likely kill him. Maybe even have him lose control for a fraction of a moment, but then be saved by the young woman fighting.

The prologue is full of action, magic, and beautiful imagery, but the chosen distance for it makes it fall a little flat, beginning with the first line. The reason for this is because of the choice to be vague. This I acknowledge is a creative choice. Sometimes it works, sometimes it does not.

Following this prologue, the rest of the book is in a fairly close third-limited point of view, which makes it detached from the beginning significantly just for the narrative distance shift.

The main problem I found with the prologue, is that despite the little boy being around the action, it's written in a way where it comes off with too much telling. Action, even observed, reads better at a fast punchy pace. This can be done by breaking up the lines.

Overall, the grammar is good, the idea of the scene and imagery are excellent, but the characterization needs to be further fleshed out in regards to emotional and physical aspects. If you would like more concrete examples and places of which to work, feel free to comment in-line here.