"Hy...look at me" I shook him back to his senses.

He abruptly stood back on his legs. "Let's go back, I am sure neither of us has the mood to continue with our plans." Confused I caught his hand swiftly.

"Are you ignoring my question shlok?" Why is he ignoring me?

"Let's not go down that road naina." Why the fuck is he speaking to me in riddles.

"Don't tell me that you were self-harming shlok." He looked pained and nodded negative. What? then who did that?

"Let's go, please. I cant.." He cut himself in between.

"I deserve this though, let's go" he grabbed my hand and started walking towards the car again. In a moment we were seated back in the car and headed towards our hotel.

I couldn't stop my mind to wander around the time where I have got a few glimpses of his faded bruised back while he was returning back from the shower with only his lower covered. If he didn't self-harm himself then who the hell in this world is capable of doing that.

"Shlok,..." I couldn't continue as he was totally lost somewhere. He isn't responding to my words or either my touch. I slowly shook him out of his reverie.

"Stop naina. I don't wanna speak about it." Now, this is making me feel tense. I have seen all the shades of shlok but he was never this lost when spoken about a certain topic.

As we got back into our hotel room I pounced on him removing his suit jacket in spite of his resistance. I buckled up myself and attacked him again so as to free him out of his shirt.

"Naina stop. What the hell are you doing?" I didn't stop myself. The need to find my answer is much more greater than anything now.

With all my strength I ripped open his shirt letting the buttons fly everywhere. He pushed me away before I can pull out his shirt. I stumbled back a few steps.

"I am trying to not manhandle you Naina. Don't push me further now" oh fuck you.

"I don't care shlok. Nothing that I haven't endured before." That made him go still while his hands loosened on the lapels of the shirt. Taking it to my advantage I pulled back his shirt only to witness thick faded bruises. His entire back was crisscrossed. There is one particular bruise that ran deep towards his left shoulder.

I couldn't help myself to stay put. I slowly but deliberately ran my fingers delicately on his tortured back. He flinched immediately as if they do hurt badly even now. I couldn't stop myself to feel agonized for his pain, I feel stupid though.

He stood still as if I had open out one his dearly kept secret. I placed my hand on his shoulder to share a bit of my warmth at the same time indicating him with my presence.

He stood still with his fists balled up. "Shlok, what happened? Who did this to you?"

I made him turn towards me "You know that I have the right to know" he eased up a bit visibly.

"It's fine Naina. I don't hate the person who did this" what the hell did he just say, that means all these are definitely inflicted by someone then. I am done with his riddles. If I want to know something then he bloody hell need to say.

"You know what I am giving you a minute. If you are likely to share then do share, otherwise I am done. Let's end all these, what's the point if you keep secrets from me." I can't help being harsh cause I am done begging him since the start of our marriage days.

"Please, not this Naina. Except for this one." He stood straight like a bull but the expression his face carried was anything but normal.

"Go to hell. How can you expect me to be unaware of something like this? Wait a minute...is that girl in your office that day is your secret mistress or something? Oh, man..are you guys are into some sort of kinky relationship." I know I am pushing him out of his boundaries but do I have any other choice to make him spit out the truth.

"Stop... don't ..." Without thinking twice I turned towards my suitcase which is lying in the corner of our room.

"It's nice to have your company for a month. I guess we better end this once and for all. I can't have a husband who is full of secrets in spite of knowing how much bad it caused us before." I started throwing my clothes in my bag. He is still rooted in that particular place. Stubborn as fuck.

"Where is your dairy Naina?" I stopped my actions while thinking which dairy is he speaking about.

"Which dairy do you mean. I have my present one with me." I stated it nonchalantly.

"Not this one. The one you used to have during our time back in our house." Thinking a bit, of course, it's back in Agnihotri home. I didn't get any of my things back from his house.

"I think in your room itself. I left everything there." I replied back while suppressing my curious self.

"Yes you did leave everything there but your dairy wasn't in our room when you left rather it was in the hall room."

"So what"

Gulping he walked towards me lowering his head "papa got the dairy." Oh, shit that means he read everything that I wrote in my diary. That was a year full of emotions for me and noting them down in my diary was something that brought a bit of solace to me. All of sudden I felt I betrayed paapa.
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Past

Mr. Agnihotri stumbled on his steps after reading all the pain that his daughter in law crisply noted down in her personal journal. Few pages did even contain few dried droplets of her own blood. That poor child went through a heart-wrenching abuse under his own shelter and within his own son's hand, the same son whom he was too proud of. He did notice that there was something off about her these days and tried to talk to her but she always avoided it intelligently while showcasing a fake happy face, only if he could have seen behind her fake facet. His heart broke at how he was sleeping peacefully when his daughter was in pain on the floor just above his room.

He still remembers the way he slapped his wife once when Shlok and Anjali were still kids. He couldn't control his temper when she accused him of having an illicit affair. Yes, he will agree if she says that he wasn't giving her much attention that she craved for but what can he possibly do with his growing empire he couldn't help but suck at time management. A single slap that he couldn't apologize to her to till date and how can he? As right after that incident she drove out of his house in a fury and never returned back to him. Her car was crumpled leaving no chance for her survival. He cried his heart out at her funeral, apologized for gazillion's of times, pleaded her but she never returned.

The sound of his hand contact to her cheek still resonated in his ears and every time he thought about it he did flinch. He was a demon to do such a horrible thing to his sweetheart. He drove her to death. He cried his heart out lying on the stairs for his lost wife, for the pain his daughter endured in this very house and for being such a loser as a father. His existence felt useless when he thought of the way he brought up his son 'I never taught him to be a monster, please believe me' he promised silently to himself and his dead wife. Heavy tears cascaded while grief gripped his heart thinking about how happy he has welcomed his daughter in law into this house only to throw her in a pit of hell.

Shlok after an exhaustive day returned back to home. He was tired of everything around him. He couldn't gather himself to come up to his room where he damn surely knows that his wife won't be there waiting for his return as always. The truth hit him hard, his guilt of the way he treated his wife was pounding his heart with a sharp substance. He was more than worried thinking where she would left to with her broken self. She didn't visit her family neither did she have money with her then how possibly she would be in a safe environment.

He started exhausting himself in work in order to avoid those negative thoughts which made him be chocked on his own breath and he rarely visited his home. Lakhs of money was being invested on detective firms, desperate to find her and have her back in his arms. He briskly walked inside his house with no interest in his surroundings.

He was shocked to see his father lying on the stairs clutching his heart and crying his heart out. Concerning, he ran towards him.

"Papa, are you ok" he lowered himself while extending his hands to support his father.

"Don't touch me you rascal" his father threw his hands away from his body as if they disgust him.

"You idiot, why don't you die", the shock was an understatement when he heard his father utter something soo hateful towards him. He didn't realize when his father caught him by his collar and dragged him down the stairs and threw him away from him. His old father's strength was nothing compared to his so he just managed to stable himself after he stumbled feet away from his furious father.

"What did you do to her?" He questioned enraged. And shlok very well understood what he was indicating to but he wasn't in a state to give him the answers and how can he?

"Dad, please calm down. I know I did hurt her a lot..." His father cut him off with a violent slap across his face. Shock and blankness erupted deep inside his whole being. It was too difficult for an alpha male like shlok to endure someone raising their hand at him. His fists balled up to great intensity.

"What, are you gonna beat me as well to a pulp as you did to that poor girl whose only mistake was to love a bastard like you" he was forcibly made to face his father while two strong hands tightly fisted his hair on either side of his face.

"Raise your hand at me, come on do it" Shlok gnashed his teeth in order to control himself.

"What...so are you only a man enough to raise your hand on a helpless woman. Speak up, you rascal." He shoved his son away like dirt once again and turned towards to grab the dairy lying on the coffee table.

Several pages were turned away to come to a stop at a certain one, "listen...can you look at these blood patches, they belong to your wife" shlok gyrated his head away, it pained him to no ends to witness the results of his ill behavior towards his wife. His redemption was nothing compared to his darling's torment.

"He just marched towards me grabbing my hair and yelling profanities at my face, I never understood the inner meaning of his anger towards me or otherwise hate would be the better expression. Day after day I waited for him to return back from office with a smiling and longing face only to witness the latter. Today was quite extreme, he came back, yelled, uncoiled his belt, and thrashed me until he was exhausted. Finally, when he was done releasing his frustration deep inside my abdomen he stormed away from the room leaving me bleeding, agonizing and dying..." Realization struck shlok like a lightening. He acknowledged what was in his father's hand... it's his wife's diary.

His reflexes turned back to life when his father struck the dairy at his face. "Why the hell were you born to me? I would have killed you back then itself if I would have known that your mother gave birth to a demon-like you" Mr. Agnihotri's whole being was shooking with rage.

A deep agonizing soreness was felt on his back while his eyes still remained on the book on the floor which contained his love's deep pain.

"Is this the way you relished the sense of power over your wife. Speak up, bastard." Mr. Agnihotri never intended to assault his son, he just wanted to give him a taste of pain his daughter endured back then with her tormentor. His intention was to only strike him once or else twice to give him a taste of his own doings, but heavily raged by his son's unresponsive behavior and as well his past guilt of slapping his own wife which lead to her death later, pushed him to meet the shit out of him. He punished his son for his failure as a husband and a father and the newly enlightened truth of being a failed father in law as well.

Shlok kneeled in order to have a trace of the object which has been once touched by his goddess, not even a single word of cry or a moan of pain escaped his mouth despite, the rain of blows his back is enduring. "Don't" his father reprimanded with a heavy blow which would definitely run deep than intended.

Nothing can stop him from having what belongs to him. Once he had her dairy in his hands, he tightly embraced it near to his heart like he was able to feel her through this nonliving object. A feeling of lightness walloped him. He wasn't in a state to discern when his father left him all alone to grieve his wounds, exactly the same way he used to leave once he was done assaulting her. What goes around does comes round indeed.

The pain inflicted on his body is nothing compared to the one that he felt in his heart cause his heart carried the heaviness from his past actions as well. He can feel her through this pain and he was thankful to his father for creating this medium between him and his beloved. He deserved every pain in the world. In fact, he felt he deserved to die.

His father yelled several statements at him before leaving the Agnihotri house...the way he is ashamed to have a son like him and he would prefer to die before having listened to call him as a dad, etc, etc, etc.

Shlok spend the whole night reading as well as crying with the pain he felt in the words his love used in her dairy, a result of his demonic behavior. He envisioned virtually every moment of her screams of pain and his acts of inflicting torment on her. Each and every scream of her suffering from his hands in his memory cut him deep. He didn't care about his wounds. He cried and cried for the way he raped her on their first night also several nights later on, his brutal ways of tormenting her, the way he had made her feel worthless as if like a mere slut. His tears of guilt had no bounds that night until he lost his consciousness due to exhaustion.

The father, son duo had several sleepless nights since then. Mr. Agnihotri indeed never regretted teaching his son a lesson but his guilt of never seeing the pain behind his beautiful and loving daughter's face is squeezing his heart mercilessly.