CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
vol i — bloody fjerdans!

THE TWO HADN'T MOVED FROM THEIR
position, staring into each other's eyes, afraid the other would disappear with a glance away. The tension was unbelievable, so thick you wouldn't be able to walk across it if it was visible. Kaz's grip slid down from her wrist — eyes still locked — to her palm, his fingers weaving into the gaps between hers. She waited, stunned, not sure what to do, but knowing she had to let him make all the moves here. He closed the gap between the two, his grip tighter than she expected. "I want you to stay. Not going into the country, staying. I want you to... I want you," Kaz said. He shifted on his feet, not liking the vulnerability that he had placed on the table.

"And how will you have me?" Dinara's eyes were large, pupils dilated due to the close proximity of the two. "Fully clothed? Gloves on? Your head turned so far that our lips would never touch?" Kaz didn't let go of her hand — his head turned towards the sea, shoulders bunched in obvious frustration. "I will have you without armor Kaz Brekker. Or I will not have you at all."

She waited for him to say something, anything at all, but there was nothing coming from his lips. She shook her head in obvious disappointment, walking away, only to be held back by the hold he had on her. "It's not that simple."

"I know that. But you have to be willing to try." She had walked closer — so close that their chests almost touched.

"I want to," he breathlessly whispered. How he wanted to kiss her, claim her as his, but he just couldn't, no matter how much. "I'm not expecting you to wait for me."

"I'd wait for you," she spoke, the words piercing every negative thought he had about them. "You should know that by now. The world would be ending and I'd still come back for you."

"I know. And that's what scares the shit out of me." He tried so hard to not look at her lips, but it was impossible. She tried not to close the gap between them, wanting him to initiate the first move. "I'll try though."

"I can work with try. You just can't back out of this. If you do, I won't be around for a second chance," Dinara said. She was lying right through her teeth and Kaz knew that, but he allowed her — allowed her to have some leverage over him.

"I won't." That was the truth. He wouldn't fuck this up again, too afraid of losing the one good thing in his life. His Shadow.

( ...⛓... )

THE TWO STAYED LIKE THAT A WHILE
longer, only to be called away by others, having to depart — but not without casting a longing glance at the other. It was truly a romance novel, the two so close yet so far, unable to touch, but wanting to. They burned for each other. That much was obvious. Dinara had gone off to annoy Inej, seeing as Nina was busy dying in the captain's quarters, Matthias by her side. She had snatched the sweets she had grabbed before she got shot, needing something sweet to calm her. She found Inej sitting on one of the crates along the edge of the schooner. Dinara crossed the deck, only tripping over discarded things twice, finally making it to Inej. She sat down next to her, the railing digging into her back. She dug into her trench-coat pocket, pulling out a bag of licorice — her favorite. The assorted candy stuck to her teeth as she bit into one, leaving her to dig out the rest with her tongue. A sigh left her lips as she swallowed the candy, her eyes lingering on the hat placed on-top of Kaz's head.

"You're going to drill a hole into his head if you keep staring like that," Inej informed. A twinkle had found its way into her chocolate eyes, swimming around in the depths of secrets she kept.

"I will do no such thing. I am simply wishing his hat will blow off his head and drown." She looked at Inej, wanting to explain why she felt that way. "Bastard told me to stay in Ketterdam. I mean I would, but I want out, want to live a simple life—"

"You told him to come with you." Dinara's head snapped towards Inej, who continued speaking before she could be cut off. "I didn't listen, you know. I can tell."

Dinara groaned, stuffing her head into her palms. "I'd it that obvious? I thought I would be able to hide it. Lock it in a drawer and stuff it away."

"That didn't work." Dinara sent Inej a glare, the Suli girl raising her hands in surrender. "Anyone with eyes could figure it out. You two make sex eyes at each other all the time. Surprised it took you so long to figure out the mutual interest."

"I get it, I'm an idiot." Inej let out a chuckle, taking one of the candies from the bag, sticking into her mouth. Dinara did the same, allowing the lemon candy to melt into her mouth. "Why are men so difficult. I mean Nina seems to have her man in the bag."

"You have Kaz in the bag too, don't kid yourself. He's been fawning over you for years, anyone could tell it." Inej couldn't recall the amount of times his eyes would wander over to Dinara, or he would stop talking when you entered a room. "He wasn't very good at hiding his feelings for you."

Dinara was speechless and Inej let her sit there in silence. She was rather enjoying putting Dinara into a round of silence. The two sat there in silence, eating candy and watching the sea roll by. A few hours had passed when the lights of Kerch reached their vision, the city as bright as ever. Dinara couldn't help her excitement, starting to bounce in her seat, wanting to go lay in her bed. But for now it was time to get their money.