(Jack's P.O.V.)

It's been three weeks. Three whole weeks. Two weeks since the funeral. Three weeks since that night. Three weeks since I fucking watched him die. He's gone, dead. I still can't wrap my head around that... 

"Jack." I don't look up. I recognize the voice all to well. It's Ann. She's been trying to help me ever since, almost always by my side. But I'm just... numb. "Jack the ceremony is gonna start in fifteen minutes, and you're not even dressed." Ann sits next to me on the bench, putting my cap and gown in her lap and just looking over at me. 

It's silent. It's always silent. I just stare down at the fabric I hold in my hands, my face blank, my thoughts going to one specific chocolate eyed person I can never forget. Ann puts her hand on my shoulder, but I don't do anything. 

"I miss him too." She whispers, breaking what was the silence. I sigh, nodding slightly, still staring at the fabric. 

"He gave this to me at the beginning of the year." I whisper, and Ann seems shocked I even talked in the first place. I chuckle, nodding slightly. "He was in the shower and I took it and put it on, and he said it looked really good on me so he let me keep it. He took one of my hoodies." I say, holding the flannel tighter in my hands. Ann nods, moving her hand up and down my arm slowly, comforting me in the only way she can think of. 

"We all miss him." She says it somehow even softer then before. And I nod, exhaling shakily. 

"But no one misses him the way I do..." I whisper back and she nods, understanding exactly what I'm saying and why. She's the only person besides him that knows everything. Cause after he was gone, she was the only one I could talk too. She was the only one there. And though she wasn't him, she was something. She then stands, moving to stand in front of me and handing me my cap and gown. 

"Come on. Mark would want you out there." She says and I nod once again, putting the flannel on before grabbing the cap and gown and putting them on over my clothes. She smiles at me, I try to smile at her. Then she grabs my hand and we walk out of the locker room and towards the football field, where graduation is all set up. Once we hit the field, Ann turns and with one last smile heads towards the bleachers to go sit with Ma and Kate. I head towards my chair, and I sit down. 

As soon as I sit down, I hear a whistle and I turn to see Bob waving at me, only a couple rows back. I wave back, and I see him mouth a "good luck". I nod, mouthing back a "you too". And then, the ceremony starts. It's nothing much. Speeches, clapping, more speeches, more clapping. If Mark were here he would have had one of the speeches, since he was 3rd in the whole class. 

None of them were as good as he was when he practiced for me. None of them. And then the diplomas are handed out, and when I was given mine I heard clapping like every other person. I look up at where Ma and Kate are to not only see Ann there next to my crying sister and mother, but Tom, who is also holding a diploma. Mark's diploma. Ann told me they were going to give it to him. He spots me staring at him and he smiles slightly, giving a thumbs up I can barely see. 

But I nod, giving a thumbs up back and walking off the makeshift stage with my diploma in hand. And I sit back down and watch as more and more people go up. Felix went before me, Wade before that. Bob goes after me, along with Ken. And then the diploma's are done, and somebody goes up for yet another speech. When suddenly, the giant screen on the field turns on. 

"Hey-jay I'm AJ everybody!" We all look up at the screen to see AJ, one of the theater kids, still dressed in cap and gown and smiling. Everyone cheers, though they know he can't see us. I don't know AJ at all, I only know who he is through Mark. "So first off, congratulations to all of the graduates this year!" He yells, throwing his hands in the air as more cheers erupt from the field. I can't get myself to do it. He chuckles, bringing his arms down and staring at the camera. 

"Second, I just want to address real quick that there's someone that isn't here that should be. None of you really knew him, but those who did know who I'm talking about." I do know who he's talking about. A lot of us do. "Third, seeing as I'm graduating also, I wanted to go through the theater and just... Clear some stuff out I guess? You can all understand that I'm sure." He says, smiling still. Why is he so happy? And is he really happy or is he faking it? 

"But anyways, I ended up finding a disk with a recording on it and, after watching it, I figured you all should see it too. So, congratulations everybody and I'll see you all next time." He waves at the camera and the screen goes black as more people cheer. 

And then, the video plays. I gasp, my hand covering my mouth as there on the screen is Mark from about a month ago. A week before he died. 

"Hello everybody!" He says, waving at the camera. There's silence. Everyone is just glued to the screen, eyes wide as they look up at the one that isn't here. The one that should be here. "My name is Mark Fischbach, but you guys really only know me as the Five Nights at Freddy's guy and Jack's boyfriend. I guess I was pretty invisible before, huh?" He chuckles, running a hand through his hair like he always used to do. I miss running my fingers through his hair, and I miss his laugh. Oh my god, why did he record this? No one says a thing, we just watch. 

"Graduation is coming up soon, and I don't know why but I feel like something's gonna happen soon, you know? Besides prom." He smiles, looking down as if imagining what the night would be like. Then he looks back at the camera and shrugs, leaning on the desk with his one hand on his cheek, his elbow on the desk. 

"And I don't know, I just wanted to make my mark here. Maybe stash this video somewhere, and see if anyone will find it. I just wanted to talk." He says, chuckling and shaking his head softly. He mumbles something but the camera doesn't pick it up. Then he looks back and continues. 

"So much has happened here in these halls, in this auditorium, in this school. I found my love for acting and singing here, I found myself, I found friends." I don't react to the fact that I'm not mentioned once. I don't think I even fully realize, I'm just in to much shock to see him on the screen. 

"I don't know." He chuckles, shrugging again and closing his eyes. "We're graduating. How crazy is that?" He looks at the camera with a smile and a couple people in the crowd chuckle but not many. "I don't have much to say though. So, I guess I'll see you all later, right?" He says, and it's at this point I turn around, facing away from the screen. 

I can't face it. Face him. He's gone, and I don't want to see his face on screen knowing I'll never see him in real life again. I'll never hug him or kiss him or tell him I love him ever again. Ever. 

"Jack." I whirl back around when I hear my name. I see that the video is still on and Mark is staring right in the camera. "God I don't even know if you'll ever find this but I can't say this to you in person." He says and chuckles, tears falling down his cheeks. He inhales shakily before shrugging. 

"You're the best goddamn thing to have ever happened to me." He chuckles and more tears come to my eyes as he silently cries, trying to hold it together so he can talk. Everyone's eyes are either on me or the screen. I hate it, but what can I do? I don't do anything. I just stare at the screen, at Mark. He looks back at the camera with a smile on his face and he shakes his head. 

"You are the love of my life, and I know you've been through hell but I want you to know I'm always there for you. I always will be there for you, okay? Cause I love you so goddamn much." He cries, smiling still as he stares at the camera. He sighs, running his hand through his hair shakily. "You're perfect in every which way, and I hope that when we're older I can call you mine forever." I gasp quietly, knowing very well what that was. 

It was a promise. A promise he won't be able to keep because he's gone. 

"I love you so much Seán." He sighs, and stares at the camera for another heartbeat before he reaches over and turns it off. The screen is black. The field is silent. 

Everyone is looking at me as I collapse on the ground in a fit of my own tears. I cry, and I cry, wishing that Mark was here to comfort me. But instead I'm left alone in a field full of people that never cared, except for a few. And suddenly I feel a pair of arms around me. I look up with a gasp to see a girl I don't know hugging me, tears in her own eyes as she bites her lip. 

And I stand up and hug her back, crying into her shoulder. And soon other people start hugging me, and other people hug them, and it's a giant group hug that probably looks idiotic but I don't care because there are people that care. And the people in the bleachers cheer as everyone down here cries. And as wonderful as it is, I just want Mark.