Tracy

I got that he cared, like my family but enough was enough.

My brother and Mark had both become bodyguards right out of high school which had led them to opening a security business. My brother's last job had been to protect his now fiancé, Sarah. It had been his last job as a bodyguard. Now he ran the business from a nice office instead of in the field. I didn't know all the details of the jobs they worked on but I knew Mark wasn't currently assigned to a job.

It wouldn't be long before he was. I hated to think of him putting his life on the line to protect a stranger.

I struggled with that for both him and my brother. It was the part of their job I hated.

I would never forget when Matthew had been shot while he had been protecting Sarah. When my mom had called me sobbing to tell me it had felt like my whole world had tilted on its axis. Thankfully he had made a speedy recovering and once he become serious about Sarah he given up being a bodyguard to manage the company.

But Mark was still risking his life on a daily basis. It was something I tried not to think about for fear it would drive me crazy.

So far he had never been injured but I knew it would only be a matter of time before something like that happened and I waited with dread.

"Is that headache making you extra grumpy?" he asked with a smirk.

"No it's the bodyguard who is annoying me." I couldn't help snapping back. The alcohol had loosened my tongue and I wasn't going to back down like I would have before.

"That's not what I'm trying to do. I just don't want anything to happen to you. I see bad things happen to people everyday." He shoved his hands into the pockets of his trousers. There was a darkness in his eyes and it made me wonder what he had witnessed in his job. I couldn't imagine dealing with life and death on a daily basis. My most extreme day to day stress was making deadlines.

It made me look at him differently. He looked so effortlessly smart with a white button up shirt open by the collar. His hair a little longer than usually and I liked it. It made him look younger.

"Your job has made you neurotic. I'm fine, just a little absent minded." I didn't want to argue with him.

I dropped my arms and leaned against the back of the lift. It felt like the lift was taking forever or was it my need to escape that was making it feel longer.

"Besides your job entails putting you in the way of people doing bad things." I reminded him. He studied my silently. "If anyone in this lift had a reason to worry it would be me." Suddenly my mouth felt dry as he continued to watch me possibly taking in the telltale signs of how I felt about him.

"Do you spend a lot of time worrying about that?" he asked. All smiles gone. I had walked into that without thinking about it and I wished I had just kept quiet.

I would never admit how much time I spent fretting over him and my brother. At least with Matthew out of the field I had one less to worry about it.

The lift pinged and the doors opened given me a temporary reprieve from answering his question.

Mark led the way to my room and opened the door for me. He surprised me by entering my room and closing the door behind him.

"You've seen me to my room, I can take it from here." I threw over my shoulder as I slipped my high heels off and sighed at the relief. "It's not like I can get lost in the shower."

"Do you have painkillers?"

Then I remembered my headache. My imaginary headache.

"I'm sure I do." I headed to my luggage I had abandoned beside the bed.

"I'll wait while you check."

It was almost impossible not to get more irritated by his continued presence when all I wanted was for him to leave.

I knew very well that I didn't have any but I wasn't going to tell him that.

Slowly I unzipped my luggage and pulled out my toiletry bag. Under the pretence of another lie I looked through the bag before looking to him across the room where he stood.

"I have painkillers."

I expected him to turn and leave now that he was finished with seeing me safely to my room but he didn't.

"I'm sorry to hear about you and Jack."

I hadn't expected that. "It's fine." I held his gaze unwavering.

"You looked upset earlier."

I shrugged, not wanting to discuss Jack or anything that had to do with it. I still felt raw over it and just wanted to forget about it. Constantly talking about it would just keep it fresh in my mind and that was the last thing I wanted.

"Does this mean I get to interrogate you about your personal life?" I lifted my chin defiantly as I folded my arms. "Who are you dating? How long have you been together? Is she nice? Is she treating you well?"

I fired one question after the other, trying to make a point. I didn't want any answers. Hearing about the women in his life would hurt too much and I was too wrung out to handle any more.

"It's not the same."

"How so?" I questioned with my arms crossed. "Explain it so I can understand why you can meddle in my life and I can't in yours?"

I tapped my finger against my chin. "Come to think of it I have never met any of your girlfriends? Maybe I should so I can give them my seal of approval?"

"I can handle mine." His confidence and statement made my mouth drop open.

"Implying I can't?" I felt winded.

He shook his head. "It's not like that." He stepped forward.

"Then explain it to me?"

"Your absent mindedness makes you vulnerable and I don't want someone to take advantage of that."

I frowned at him.

"I'm not vulnerable and no one has taken advantage of me," I stated, suppressing the feeling that I was fibbing a bit.

So I didn't have a handle on everything. Jack was something that hadn't gone to plan and I was still trying to sort the mess out but that didn't put any truth to his words.

"Fine," he conceded. "I don't want to argue with you."

"Then don't."

He studied me for a moment.

"Just promise me that if you need any help with anything you'll call me?" His expression earnest.

"Like if I need things nailed into walls and stuff like that?" I raised an eyebrow at him.

He smiled. "Yes, even stuff like that."

Luckily I had a handyman in my building who helped me out when I needed guy things done around my apartment. It was something I would have normally called Matthew for but when he was gone for long periods of time I'd had to find an alternative. Jack had been useless with that type of stuff. Thinking about it now there wasn't much he was good at.

"Let's be honest Mark." I rubbed the back of my neck, my muscles were stiff and tired. "You work all over the country so the chances are you aren't going to be around to help me with stuff like that."

"If I'm around I will help and if I'm not I will get someone to do it for me."

He had an answer for everything. He already had it all figured out. I wanted to argue with him but he would persevere and I just wanted him out of my room before I let something slip. I wasn't good at keeping secrets and knew it was only a matter of time before I revealed something that I shouldn't. Like worrying about him. I hadn't meant for him to know that I thought about him and his safety every time he took a job.

"Fine." It was the only way I was going to get him out of my room. I had spent enough time squabbling with him and I was tired.

He nodded. "Good night." He turned and left while I watched him leave. The door closed quietly behind him and I sighed as I sank down to sit on the bed.

Telling one lie had led to many more and it was becoming more difficult keeping tracking of what had or hadn't said.

One thing was for sure, I wasn't built for a criminal career.