I woke up to find a few texts from Trisha and Oliver.

Oliver: Did you invite her?

Trisha: Oh yeah! Did you?

Oliver: Come on, tell us!

What? I thought. Oh yeah, Stacey's here....

I replied, telling them I'd fallen asleep and I'd definitely ask her today.

I got up and went to the bathroom to shower and brush my teeth, since I missed both of those things last night. I was afraid to go downstairs to breakfast, even though my stomach was growling. I didn't have any idea what to say to Stacey.

I decided to suck it up and go downstairs. In the kitchen, I saw my mom, Stacey's parents, Anthony, and Stacey. At least her whole family wasn't there.

I awkwardly grabbed a bowl and a spoon and walked to the counter to pour a bowl of cereal. Stacey was sitting at the bar directly in front of me. I glanced at her a few times, but she never looked at me.

I cleared my throat, and everyone in the kitchen looked at me, except Stacey. "Uh, Stacey?"

She finally looked at me, her eyes empty, and I was suddenly self conscious about my wet hair sticking up every which way.

"I have a party to go to later, and my friends thought I should bring you."

She furrowed her eyebrows, and I suspected she was about to decline, but then my mom said, "Ooh! Is it Trisha's party? She's such a nice girl."

"You should go, Stacey," Pamela said. "You've got nothing to do around here."

Anthony was convulsing with silent laughter at the dining table.

"I don't know," Stacey said, stirring her cereal around with a spoon.

Pamela turned to me. "She'll go," she said with a smile.

"Well, I don't want to force her into it...."

"Don't worry about it."

I just nodded, but I made sure to make eye contact with Stacey, trying to let her know that she didn't have to do anything she didn't want to. She simply nodded. I wasn't sure what that meant.

The rest of breakfast was painstakingly uncomfortable. The chatter between Pamela and my mom was the only noise to be heard, but then I head the sounds of kids getting up. Anna and Presley were ecstatic that Kyle was here. Kayla and Lily were super excited and even decided to share Lily's room during the Cass' stay. Presley also allowed Kyle to take refuge in his room so he wouldn't have to share with Stacey. As for the oldest, Jake, he was away at college and didn't come.

I couldn't stand the awkwardness between Stacey and I so I decided to head to Walmart early in order to buy a present for Trisha's white elephant game. Or two, just in case Stacey went.

I roamed the isles, not sure what to buy. I didn't know if they were looking for actual good gifts or just something cheap. I decided on some shiny candle holders with some awesome smelling candles inside. On my way to the checkout, something caught my eye. I thought for a second before taking it with me to the checkout.

I stashed my merchandise in my locker and got ready for my shift. The whole while, I just hoped that some time with Stacey would mend things between us.

»»»»»«««««

By the time I was home, it was close to time for the party. I probably wouldn't make it in time, but hopefully no one would get too mad at me.

I ran in the house to put on a red flannel shirt (to get in the Christmas spirit) and comb my hair. I sent a quick message to Stacey.

Are you coming?

It wasn't too long before she responded.

Yes.

My breath caught in my throat. I hadn't expected that. I told her to meet me outside.

I slipped my jacket on and stood outside the door, waiting for Stacey. She came out, wearing a plain red shirt with a jacket slung over her arm. It was the first time I'd seen her wearing a shirt with sleeves that short, and I could see a few faint marks from the scratches she'd showed me over the summer. She was also wearing jeans and I was used to her wearing shorts. It somehow felt like everything was changing. I hoped it was simply the seasons.

"Do you want to drive or walk?" I asked her, my voice quiet and careful.

She put her arms in her jacket and said, "How far is it?"

"Four blocks."

"We can walk."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. I've been sitting around all day."

"It's gonna be colder on the way back."

"It's okay," she assured me.

I wasn't sure how we were going to handle four blocks of walking without things getting overly awkward, but I was kind of glad she wanted to walk. Just being close to her sent my heart soaring, whether or not she was mad at me, which I still didn't know for sure.

We set off, and neither of us spoke for the first block.

"So," I said after taking a deep breath. "You totally hate me, don't you?"

Stacey laughed nervously. I felt really sad. This was almost exactly like talking to Stacey before I really knew her. I didn't want to start over. I wanted to pick up where we left off.

"No," she said.

I was shocked. "Really?"

"I just... I don't know."

"You do understand I tried to contact you, right?"

"Did you?"

"Well, yeah. I tried calling you from my friend's phone and I heard you breathing, but then you hung up and blocked the number."

"Oh my gosh," she said. "That was you?"

"It was."

"I should've known. Who else would compare cell service to an orange?"

I laughed a little. "You heard that?"

"I'm sorry. I don't like strangers calling me."

I nodded. The daylight was fading quickly, as it did in these winter months.

"Is that all you tried?" Stacey asked after a moment.

"Well, I asked around for a charger, but everyone I asked either didn't have one or wouldn't let me use it."

"How many people did you ask?"

"Quite a few, considering how I never really talk to anyone. I asked so many people I'd rather not talk to." I paused. "All for you."

She nodded. After a while she asked me all of the other reasons I didn't get to her, and I gave her my excuses, feeling pathetic.

We arrived at Trisha's house a few minutes late. Her house was only one story, but looked very welcoming with all of the Christmas lights. I rang the doorbell and was greeted by Oliver and Trisha.

"Hello!" they said in unison.

"Come in!" Trisha said, and turned to Stacey. "I'm Trisha."

Stacey smiled and we entered awkwardly. I handed Trisha my wrapped candle presents and she set them on a table somewhere in the living room.

Oliver held his hand out to Stacey. "You must be Stacey."

"I am," she said, shaking his hand.

"I'm Oliver. Logan talks about you all the time. He gets bored talking about much else."

Stacey glanced at me, her eyes curious. "He does?"

Oliver nodded. "You bet."

I blushed a little and looked around the house. We were standing in a hallway with an entryway to our left. The place smelled of cinnamon, and was very warm.

Trisha came back to where we were. "Here, put your jackets on the coat rack. I know it gets pretty sweltering in here."

I noticed for the first time that Trisha wasn't wearing a hat or a scarf. I'd never seen her without a hat or scarf before, but the rest of her outfit was about the same—denim skirt and leggings, combat boots, and some kind of black graphic long sleeved shirt that was hard to read.

"Well, follow me, guys." She quickly walked through the archway opening and into the living room. Stacey followed, and I felt Oliver shove me forward.

"Look! You guys are under the mistletoe!" he exclaimed.

I looked up to see some fake mistletoe hanging from the archway. Seriously? Had I not just told him things weren't exactly hunky dory with Stacey?

I blushed and looked at Stacey nervously.

"Come on," Oliver prodded.

"Oliver—"

"No. Kiss each other. You know you want to."

I hadn't actually kissed her since we parted last August, and I was afraid if I did now, I'd get blown away. I leaned forward and kissed her cheek, chickening out like I did during our game of truth or dare.

Oliver rolled his eyes. "That was not a kiss. Give us a kiss, Logan."

I gulped and turned to Stacey again, asking her with my eyes. I didn't want to upset her. She just shrugged and nodded very slightly.

I took a shaky breath before I took her face in my hands and pressed my lips to hers. Those old butterflies suddenly fluttered back to life, and I welcomed them back immediately. I knew my feelings for her hadn't changed. I didn't know if they ever would. I couldn't imagine feeling this way for anyone else.

I kissed her slowly, and luckily she kissed me back. I didn't want to stop. But we weren't alone and we didn't have all the time in the world. Also, I wasn't sure what position our relationship was in, anyhow.

I gazed into her eyes for a few seconds after we broke away, trying guess what she was feeling. I still couldn't tell anything by looking at eyes.

Oliver started clapping, bringing me back to reality. Trisha laughed a little.

"Come on," Trisha said. "Everyone else is over here. Oh, Oliver, take that mistletoe down. We don't need any accidents tonight."

Oliver chuckled and reached up to unhook the mistletoe.

In the next room, we found who I was guessing was Trisha's mom sitting with two people who looked a little older. The one who must be Trisha's mom had long, curly black hair like Trisha. She looked a lot like Trisha, except not as young, of course.

"This is my mom, Sandra," Trisha announced.

"Hello!" Sandra stood up and came to shake mine and Stacey's hands. She sounded overly friendly. "I'm so glad Trisha made some friends at school. She's always talking about you and Oliver," she said to me. I could feel Stacey tense next to me.

"Well," Sandra said. "We're gonna have lots of fun! We have cupcakes, hot chocolate, and Apples to Apples! After that, we'll do the white elephant. Sound good?"

Oliver and Trisha's aunt and uncle all nodded in agreement. Stacey and I stood awkwardly to the side.

We started playing Apples to Apples while partaking in the refreshments. I was sitting between Stacey and Trisha's uncle, who I still didn't know the name of. He smelled vaguely of cheese.

That game seemed to drag on forever. Normally I enjoyed it, but this time I was playing with people I didn't know and it was just very awkward.

Finally, that ended (with Oliver as he victor) and we headed into the living room to have the gift exchange. There were only two couches seven people, so I ended up squished between Stacey and the arm of the couch.

I didn't want to be impolite and steal anyone's present, but people like Trisha, Oliver, Sandra, and Trisha's aunt all seemed to really get into it. That left me, Stacey, and Uncle Cheese as the party poopers.

Besides, I didn't want Stacey to feel left out, and she was obviously not comfortable.

In the end, I just ended up with one of my own candles and Stacey had a homemade CD titled: Melvin's Mixtape.

After that, it was just time to socialize. I wanted to hold Stacey's hand to let her know I was in the same boat she was. Well, almost. I at least had friends. But I couldn't. She kept her hands clasped tightly in her lap.

"Logan!" Trisha called me from the kitchen.

"I'll be right back," I whispered to Stacey, and stood up.

"What's wrong?" Trisha asked quietly when I reached her.

"I don't know these people."

"No, I mean with her." She nodded toward Stacey. I turned around and saw that Trisha's aunt had sat next to her and they were having a conversation. I hoped she didn't feel too uncomfortable.

"She doesn't know these people either," I said.

Trisha rolled her eyes. "Is she mad at you?"

"I don't know. Sometimes I feel like she is and sometimes it feels almost normal."

Trisha nodded. "You guys gonna be alright?"

"I'll try my best to make it alright. I don't know what I'll do if I can't."

Trisha looked at me for a few seconds. "You really like her, don't you?"

"Yeah... A lot."

"Well, good luck, I guess."

"Thanks. Is it okay if we leave? It's getting late."

"Oh, I guess. You had fun, right?"

"Lots," I lied.

Trisha reached out and hit my arm. "Liar. Okay, go home."

I chuckled and headed back over to Stacey. I let Trisha's aunt finish her sentence and allowed Stacey to laugh awkwardly in response before I said, "Ready to go?"

Stacey nodded, quite eagerly I might add. Without thinking, I held out my hand. She looked at it suspiciously for a second before taking it. She stood up and we headed for the door, grabbing our jackets on the way out. Everyone waved at us as we exited.

I was glad to be back outside, even if it was dark and cold. Stacey removed her hand from mine to put her jacket on, and then slipped both of her hands into her pockets. I did the same, slightly disappointed.

Time to make it though another walk alone with Stacey. Five months ago, this wouldn't have been awkward. We'd have talked just as smoothly and effortlessly as we used to. I sincerely missed that.

"So," Stacey said, "You have friends now."

"I do." I looked at the ground. "I didn't go looking for friendship, though. It kinda just happened."

Stacey didn't say anything. I looked over at her and with the moonlight, I could see little snowflakes in her hair.

"It's snowing," I pointed out, smiling a little.

Stacey looked up. "Yeah."

"So what's that CD you got?" I asked.

She shrugged. "That lady said it was a collection of her husband's favorite songs. I'm afraid to listen."

I chuckled.

Silence then settled upon us like a thick cloud.

"I'm sorry, Stacey."

"You've told me."

"I never apologized for the party. I'm sorry you had to go. I'm sorry I kissed you.... I'm not sure if that's what you wanted."

She didn't respond. She just looked down at her feet, which were slowly collecting snowflakes.

"It's okay," she said after a while.

"What happened, Stacey?" I asked, feeling audacious. I had to know, and I wanted to fix things as soon as possible.

We were nearing my house, and we didn't have much time left. Stacey seemed to be stuck gathering her thoughts.

"I read your messages yesterday," I told her. "I know I can't apologize enough for leaving you for so long. But I thought about you everyday, and I worried so much about what I was doing to you and if you were okay back home. I can't even begin to describe how happy it made me when you showed up in my doorway yesterday, but I was also scared. I still can't believe you're here. I never wanted to push you away, Stacey. I wanted you as close as I could get you. I should have tired harder."

We reached the front door as I finished speaking. Stacey opened the door and stepped in.

"Yes," she said, her voice barely a whisper. "You should have."

__________________________

*cry*

Yeah, things are emotional. Am I laying it on too thick? Maybe. But you'd better be feeling the feels. And you'd better still ship Stagan. #stagan4lyfe

I've written like four chapters in two days. What

Anyway, let me know what you guys think! Don't forget to vote! :D

-Hannahhhh ;-/)