Vanessa and Carla both stood up and applauded enthusiastically as the cast of Hamilton took a bow. The last three hours had been dazzling. The music, staging, and most of all the lyrics had been spectacular and nothing like they'd ever seen. Vanessa was in awe of her former classmate's talent. She wondered how long it took him to compose the whole thing. The research that had gone into it.

As the crowd began to exit she heard someone across the auditorium call her name. She turned to see an old classmate, Josh Lemmings, waving at her. She smiled and waved back, then told Carla she wanted to say hello. They made their way over to him and his wife.

"Vanessa!" He greeted her warmly, embracing her. Josh introduced his wife and they began to rave over the show.

"Lin told me to come say hi afterwards," he said. "Wanna come? We can meet the cast."

Vanessa would love to say hi to Lin and meet the other cast members. They were all incredibly talented. Carla readily agreed and they headed over to the side door. Josh gave his name and said all three women were with him.

They entered the backstage area, which was mostly filled with crew members. The four guests looked around at the inner workings of the theatre. There was something magical about seeing backstage. One by one, the cast members began to appear, dressed in their regular street clothes. They congratulated each person and complimented their talent.

As Vanessa spoke with Daveed Diggs, she noticed Lin appear from the door. He was in jeans and a hoodie, his shoulder-length hair pulled up. As she watched him shake a fellow audience member's hand, she observed his demeanor. She liked to think she was pretty good at reading people. His eyes had bags underneath from lack of sleep. His shoulders slumped slightly. He looked...sad.

Slowly, he made his way over and his smile widened as he saw Josh. He laughed and embraced his old high school friend.

"Josh! I'm so glad you came!" He greeted him. "What did you think?"

"It was phenomenal, Lin," he told him. "I knew you were talented in high school but I didn't know you were capable of something like this. How long did it take you to write?"

"About seven years," his eyes wandered to his three guests. Finally his eyes fell on Vanessa and he studied her for a moment. "Vanessa? Vanessa Nadal?"

Vanessa smiled and nodded. "Hi Lin! Congratulations!"

Lin seemed almost relieved, seeing this woman from his past. He hugged her warmly as she gushed over the show.

"Thank you so much," he said, pulling back. He did a once over and gave her arm a friendly squeeze. "It is SO good to see you."

"You too," she told him. "I was so sorry to hear about wife."

"Oh. Thanks," he said, rubbing at the back of his head uncomfortably. Lin was never quite sure what to say, and he got the sense no one else knew what to say either.

"How are your girls?" She asked. "How old are they now?"

"They're doing okay," he said, which was far from the truth. They were barely treading water, just like him. He felt guilty that Juliana had died instead of him. Girls needed their mothers. "Elana is twelve and Mariele is four."

Vanessa had always suspected Lin was an amazing father, but this situation would be tough on anyone.

He asked about her family and she reported they were all well. Lin was thrown off by how happy he was to see her. They had barely known each other in high school but it was nice to see someone from his past.

They snapped some pictures and the other guests and cast members gradually left. Lin and Vanessa continued to chat, talking about old classmates. Lin laughed for the first time in weeks seemingly. His friend Chris Jackson took notice.

Vanessa could see Carla was ready to leave so she politely told Lin goodbye, not before exchanging phone numbers to stay in touch.

As she left with her friend, Chris walked over to Lin. "Who was that?"

"She was a classmate of mine at Hunter," he explained as they watched her go. Lin thought she was even more beautiful now than she was in high school. She was stunning.

"Did you get her digits?" Chris asked.

"Of course," he grinned. Chris felt a wave of hope as Lin patted his shoulder. He'd seen his friend spiral downwards for a solid six months. Something needed to snap him out of this. Chris watched him looking at Vanessa as she walked away. Maybe there was an inkling of hope.

—-

After saying goodbye to Carla, Vanessa headed home. It was already past midnight but she didn't feel sleepy. She decided to take a relaxing bubble bath to wind down.

After soaking for a good twenty minutes, Vanessa toweled off and wrapped herself up in her bath robe. She stood in front of the mirror and her eyes immediately fell to the massive red scar in the middle of her chest. It was disgusting. She pulled her robe closed so she didn't have to see it.

Vanessa had become very self conscious of her body since the surgery. Luckily it was winter now and she could cover up in sweaters. But what would happen in the summer? Would she ever swim again? Wear a tank top? She shuddered to think of it. People would look at her and think it was disgusting.

Sighing, she climbed into bed and reached for her phone one last night. She smiled when she saw Lin had texted her.

Great seeing you tonight! Coffee soon?

She texted back affirmatively, suggesting a local coffee shop off the main drag in a couple days. Lin agreed and she tucked her phone away. Vanessa smiled and turned onto her side, knowing she'd have pleasant dreams that night.

—-

Lin arrived home close to one a.m., which was typical these days. The sitter stayed until then, often falling asleep on the couch. He told her a quick hello and she saw herself out, locking the door.

After toeing off his shoes, Lin walked down the hallway quietly to check on the girls. It seemed he mostly saw them when they were asleep these days. He loved them of course, but they didn't need a morose, depressed father around. He could sense that it scared them to see him like this, so his solution was to pull away. Lin needed to get his shit together before he could be a good dad. He knew it was shitty but it was all he had.

He pushed the first door open and found Mariele fast asleep underneath her pink girly comforter. She had a frown on her face as usual. It's how she'd always slept. He wondered what she dreamed about. Her mother?

Mariele was so young. Too young to lose her mother. She'd definitely been a mommy's girl, clinging to her when uncertain. Now she didn't have that, she was angry. So angry. Even at him. He'd always been able to goof around with her when she was upset but that didn't work any more. She just screamed and cried. Lin wasn't sure what to do. He'd sent them both to counseling of course but it didn't seem to be making a difference yet.

Lin pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead and pulled up her covers. He walked across the hall to his oldest daughter's room. He chuckled when he saw her bedside light was still on. She'd fallen asleep with her earbuds in. Quietly, he crossed the room and unlocked her phone. He pressed pause on her music - some kind of heavy metal he didn't recognize. He carefully pulled her wireless earbuds free and set everything on her bedside table.

His eyebrows furrowed when he saw designs written all over her arms in black ink. It must have taken her hours. If only she spent that much time on her homework.

Lin kissed Elana's forehead and turned out her light. As he reached the door, she heard him call out to him.

"Dad?"

"Yeah, sweetheart?" He answered, turning around.

"Can I come to work with you tomorrow?" She asked sleepily. Lin looked down for a moment, his hand on the doorknob.

"No, baby," he told her gently. "You need to be at school."

"But I hate school," she told him.

Lin sighed, not ready to have this conversation at one in the morning. "We'll talk about it tomorrow. Okay?"

She huffed loudly and turned over. "No we won't," she grumbled. Lin closed his eyes, feeling a hit in the gut. Did she really not trust him to keep his word anymore?

Wordlessly, he closed the door and headed to his empty bed.