Ding-ding-ding

It was 5:00 on the alarm clock. Hope was used to waking up at that time and always did so with ease and smile, for he knew he would soon be going to school. To his bright house, within the walls of which he felt usually the happiest person in the world.

But today his eyes treacherously did not want to open. Last night he could not sleep for a long time, because the thoughts in his head did not give rest. He kept remembering yesterday's meeting with Lion, going over and over in his head all the details of the hour he spent with him: his words, his look, his breath, the feeling of the warmth of his big palms on his body.

"Ooof..."

Hope continued to lie in the fetal position, hugging himself and trying to talk himself out of thinking about this man, but it was already hard to stop this all-speed armored train:

"We won't meet again... he just happened to walk into this club... who am I to make him want to come back!!! Foolish dreams... don't even think about meeting him again! You've fallen so low! No one, knowing in advance the pit you're sitting in now, would want to continue communicating with you! ... but... but... he asked my real name... why would he want to know my name...?"

«"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh," Hope yelled at the top of his voice and was himself frightened by this loud cry of despair.

The door swung open and Troy came running in:

"Why are you yelling? Are you all right, son? Tell me! Why did you come back later than usual last night? How did you get here? Did something happen? Where does it hurt? You can tell me everything as it is!"

"Grandpa, shhhhhh, everything's fine. Had another client imposed on yesterday, so I came in late. Norman called me a cab...got home comfortably. Nothing happened...just couldn't sleep for a long time, and when I woke up to my alarm clock, I couldn't open my eyes. I'm not in pain, my body is perfectly fine!" - Hope saw how worried his protector was, so he smiled sympathetically and began to answer his questions calmly, one by one.

"Why did you yell then? You're going to give me a heart attack! And I still want to live! Hehehe," Grandpa became himself again and looked at the boy with a scrutinizing gaze.

"I'm hungry!" - Hope blurted out, as he knew that this look of his interlocutor was not good.

"If you've been yelling and nothing hurts, then it's a mental trauma... Spit it out!" - the word "back down" was absent from Troy's life principles.

"What did you make for breakfast?" - After his mom died, Hope lived at Grandpa's house, who made something simple and delicious every morning, like his favorite Salapao*.

(From the author: In China, salapao is a steamed flatbread stuffed with all sorts of goodies. Its Thai counterpart is slightly smaller, and the choice of fillings is limited to pork (minced or barbecued), sweet red beans and cream. The taste of the freshly made buns is fantastic)

"Today is 'Khao neow dam sang kaya*'... You're avoiding answering? Then for sure, I'll hear something interesting..." - Grandfather had already sat down on the bed and was smilingly rubbing his hands together.

(From the author. 'Khao neow dam sang kaya', which is sweet sticky rice with custard wrapped in a banana leaf, is another popular Thai breakfast dish)

"Well... (sigh)... the last customer... was weird," Hope surrendered, knowing full well that if it was a tick, there was no way to get it off, better to come clean right away.

"... You know, son... I was always against your choice... and I'm still angry that you didn't even consult with me! I'd rather work as a bodyguard for 3 years and then finish my studies than this!... You chose to spend a year in this shithole for the sake of your studies! I don't even want to think about what you're going through there... I'll just support you as much as I can," Grandpa spoke in a warm voice, but with feeling and pressure, his eyebrows were moved and the fingers of his left hand were tap-dancing on the bed.

"Grandpa, let's not dredge up wounds! This decision came hard to me and yes... I may have made a terrible mistake... but at that moment, I couldn't do otherwise.... I already told you that school is my only solace in this worthless life. And this..." - the boy pointed at himself and continued:

"It's just a body... when I'm in that basement, my soul is under lock and key. I'll put up with this year...I'll do this...and then I'll 'let the birds go' and live a debt free life, go to university and try to find my happiness," Hope again wanted to get his point across to his family man about what was going on.

"Okay... let's not discuss it again. Well! you've got me intrigued... what's the deal with this client? Have you... ahem... ahem... well... dealt with it? Oh...what am I talking about!" – Grandpa was uncomfortable discussing this sensitive topic with his son.

"Grandpa, I adore you! Ha ha ha... How can brutality and bashfulness coexist in the same person! Are you embarrassed to talk about... SEX?" - his family man's words amused Hope so much that he decided to tease him a little.

"Ah, you are!...I'm only embarrassed to bring it up with you...with my boys, for example, I'm not cowering and I'm comfortable talking about SEX!" - Troy explained his feelings, especially emphasizing the last word, and added: "So what's the situation with the client?"

"Thought you'd forgotten by now...you've never talked to me about sex, stamens, pistils and the importance of contraception by the way! How about we discuss that?" - the guy smilingly continued to tease Grandpa and really wanted to take the conversation in another direction.

"Hope! I'm waiting..." - Troy knew his son like the back of his hand.

"Ugh... well... he asked me to play..." - Hope began, and the Man averted his eyes and clenched his fists at those words, afraid to hear what perverted games the bastard had to offer.

"... We had a pillow fight," the boy said calmly and with a smile, and the images of yesterday's encounter with Lion ran before his eyes again.

Troy didn't expect to hear that at all, he was abruptly relieved and cheerfully continued the conversation, "Ohhhhhh! What a turnaround! I can't believe they're willing to pay for that nowadays. After my training, you couldn't help but win by a landslide!"

"I gave in and lost. 3:2"

"Hmm... and why?..." - Grandpa didn't understand.

"Because he's my client... and... he was sad... so I thought I'd cheer him up a little," - Hope lowered his eyes and blushed a little.

The boy's reaction didn't escape Troy's all-seeing eye, "So you wanted to cheer him up?! hmmm... I see... Did you like him?"

Troy had learned about Hope's preference for guys almost two years ago when he found the guy crying in his room and seemingly talking to himself, "I didn't even get to tell you I was gay..."

Troy wasn't attracted to men, he was exclusively into women. A couple or three times a week, "for his health", he would go to a bar and reciprocate one of the flirting beauties. Almost all of the fair sex fell for him and mostly under the age of 35. The flirting would end at the nearest motel to the bar.

There were many homosexual couples in Troy's entourage, he was comfortable with same-sex love and, despite his different preferences, the man unconditionally accepted Hope and his love for guys.

"Like? Who? Him?... Well... there's something clingy about him... He's handsome... I felt comfortable around him... I haven't had this much fun in a while," although Hope didn't expect to hear such a question, he honestly described his feelings about the man..

"Actually, I was asking if you liked the pillow fight... hehe... well judging by your answer - you liked HIM! Hehehe..." - Grandpa was having fun - this was retaliation for talking about sex.

"He's... what... who? Fight?" - Hope blushed even harder, feeling he'd fallen for his grandpa's sly provocation.

"Don't get too worked up about it, son. It's just a customer. Time will set things straight. Glad you had fun last night! Now run along and wash up and have breakfast! Eh, because of the talk of 'high' we miss training, but jogging is a must! Forward march!" - commanded the man and went to the exit of the room, at the door stopped, turned around and with a sly squint added:

"By the way, is he tall?"

After saying that, Gramps quickly disappeared behind the door, and Hope could hear his rolling laughter in the hallway.

"So much for the conversation... do I like him?... he has such beautiful eyes, a sincere infectious laugh, and warm hands... no, no, no! I couldn't fall in love at first sight, could I?! Pah... Funny! That only happens in books..." - Hope laughed out loud as he pondered and headed for the bathroom.

After breakfast, a run, and Hope's detailed report of who and what he'd seen on the way, it was time to get ready for school.

Dressed in his school uniform, which consisted of black shorts that barely covered his knees, a light gray short-sleeved shirt with a small school logo, and a black tie, he grabbed his backpack, raced into the kitchen to get a club food container, and ran outside, where Grandpa was waiting for him in his Mercedes..

August had been surprisingly dry this year-two days without a heavy downpour, and fluffy clouds moved lazily across the sky. Hope watched those white balls of clouds all the way, their effortless movement bringing him joy.

When they reached the school parking lot, Troy, without turning off the engine, turned toward the passenger seat and asked: "Do you remember what day tomorrow is?"

"I remember..." - Hope hadn't forgotten that tomorrow would be two years since his mother's death...it was just that those were very heavy memories for him and he didn't want to focus on them right now. The boy said goodbye to Gramps and quickly got out of the car.

Albicia. The bench. Light and shadow. There was no change in Hope's morning schedule, except that....

Jean, who usually cooed merrily at the start of the day, today just quietly walked over and sat down next to him.

"Hi, buddy," she said softly and lowered her head, examining her black shoes.

"Hi!... What happened to my fun fountain?" - Hope sensed something wrong, he wanted to rouse his silent friend a little, he smiled and put a strong arm around her fragile little shoulders.

"The fountain has dried up...bae," the girl smiled slightly and showed him her tongue.

"Why don't you tell me? I'm worried, you know that, right?"

"It's okay, honey... Don't worry... I just don't feel great today... girl days..." - She decided to run away from the questioning, but she was surprised to hear from her friend:

"Hmmm... strange... two weeks ago it just ended... I think it's not normal! Maybe you should go see the doctor?"

"What??? You know when I get my period?...pff...now that surprised me!" - Jean jumped up abruptly from her seat, blushing slightly, and immediately sat up, making a gesture with her fingers as if her head had exploded.

"I know everything about you, since you're my closest friend. In case you're wondering... I determine your girl days by your skin tone and behavior: you're pale, sleepy, run to the bathroom a lot, barely move in gym class and eat chocolate bars... It happens once a month for about three or four days," the guy laid it all out, Jean was slightly surprised and her mind cleared:

"Wow, I didn't realize I was so obvious! Is that why I find candy bars in my desk these days!!!"

"I'm worried about you!....Go to the nurse right now and I'll alert the teacher that you'll be late. Let's go!" - The guys got up and headed for the school building.

Jean walked into the classroom ten minutes after class started, smiled at her best friend and immediately turned around and showed her tongue to Pruit. She seemed to be acting like her usual self again... and Hope happily released that bird into the sky.

In the middle of the fourth class, the assistant principal entered the classroom and asked Tawin Buatong to come to the principal's office. That was Hope's real name, so he stood up and walked out of the room.

"Hello, Nong'Tawin! Have a seat!" - After greeting the student, the headmaster, Pattanapong Hirunardtin, walked to his desk, undid the button of his jacket, and sat down in a chair.

"Good afternoon, Khun Pattanapong!" - Hope greeted him, folding his arms in a gesture of respect and sitting down on the edge of the brown leather sofa.

"First, I want to thank you for a job well done, many students have pulled up their grades and the overall school score has gone up considerably. And, secondly, I want to ask you to organize together with the headmen of other classes a week-long trip to the sea for the students of your parallel. Let everything be within the given budget," the man spoke monotonously, but softly and with a faint smile, and then he handed the boy a piece of paper.

"Thank you, Khun! Good. If I may, I have a couple questions! Which teacher will be accompanying us? And when to conduct the field trip?" - Hope decided to clarify the details right away.

"Let's not wait until October's break. Right after the basketball game against the XY school team, the week will be free of school and extracurricular activities. You will go accompanied by math teacher Kiantisak Wongrat, English teacher Radi Hongsawan, nurse Somying Rakponmyang, and gym teacher," the principal answered the questions, but Hope noticed that the coach's name was not mentioned, it seemed strange to him, but he didn't focus on it:

"Maybe he forgot?! Although Kanokwan Jaroenkyau isn't such a difficult name..."

"By the end of the week, the School Board and I will have proposals ready. If we're done, I'll run to lunch with your permission. Have a good day!" - The boy said goodbye to the principal and walked out into the hallway, as suddenly...

A little girl running down the hall slammed into him with all her might, shrieked, and flew face down on the floor. Hope saw her knees skidding across the parquet, and immediately ran over to help her. The frail-looking girl of about ten sat up and, sobbing, rubbed her elbows and then blew on her knees, which were torn to a bloody pulp.

"Baby, are you okay?" - Hope was already sitting next to her and examining her abrasions.

"I'm not a baby, P! *Whine*... I've already moved on to middle school! *Whine*... Ooh it hurts... I just wanted to get to the cafeteria as soon as possible... *whine*... I had to get seats for my... friends... what's going to happen now!!! aaaaahhhh," the student tried to hold back her tears but couldn't.

"What's your name?"

"*Whine*...Mali...like jasmine," the babe said in a quiet voice.

"Nong'Mali, let's not be sad! We'll let your pain and sadness go free like birds. I will help you. First we'll go to the infirmary and heal your wounds, and then I'll find a table for you and your friends in the mess hall. Okay? Come on, let's wipe away your tears..." - Hope spoke in a calm, parental tone.

As the guy finished speaking and reached into his pocket to grab a napkin for the little girl, he heard the sound of a door opening behind him. Looking around, he saw a tall man in a blue suit enter the principal's office from the back, he couldn't make out his face.

"Haven't seen any of the teachers in a suit like that today. So that's a guest", Hope thought and continued wiping the girl's tears with a tissue.

After they finished treating the wounds in the infirmary, they walked together to the cafeteria, where it was already difficult to pass by the number of students eating.

Hope saw his friends and, nudging the girl forward slightly, headed towards them:

"Guys, this is Nong'Mali. She and her friends need a table. Why don't we grab a bite to eat in the park?"

"Sure, let's go!" - Jean stood up and dragged Pruit by the ear, and he followed her without resistance.

"Here's your table! If you happen to need any help, come to me...my name is Hope, I'm in class M6-1," the boy said and moved towards the exit.

"Thanks, P'Hope!" - the girl shouted after him and thought, "My birds don't want to fly away, they're really big and there are too many of them and I'm too small to handle them..."

As he took a few steps he heard a harsh girl's voice:

"Ah, there you are Dok Mali! We thought you had decided to avoid us... ha ha ha ha... go get us some water!"

(From the author: The Thai word "dok" addressed to a person means the same as the English word "bitch")

Hope turned around and saw three middle school girls sitting down at a table, laughing loudly. Tiny one ran off and he immediately went back inside and sat down at the table his friends had just vacated.

"Hello, P!" - the laughter stopped and the girls began smilingly fixing their hair since they knew who he was and were, like half the school, in love with the handsome guy in front of them.

"Good afternoon, Nonghi!...I, as president of the school board, have recently been concerned about the behavior of the teenagers in our school...as such, I have assembled a small group of people who will report to me on how the middle school students are behaving."

"And why are you telling us about this, P?" - asked a chubby tall girl with two pigtails who was clearly the leader of this group.

"Because I have you under special supervision now!...." - Hope spoke sternly, but not shouting, the ocean in his eyes was now majestic, ready to sweep away everything in its path.

Seeing the girl running up with bottles of water, the president stood up, walked over to her and, placing his hand on her shoulder, announced:

"And here, by the way, is one of the members of my task force! Meet Mali! She will now report to me daily on all incidents and inappropriate antics in your parallel."

"...," the little girl's eyes looked up at the boy next to her, and there was a look of surprise and incomprehension in them.

"Nong'Mali, I expect a report from you today at 3:10 pm. If anyone is bullying anyone in your class, I want you to tell me everything... I'll check it out, and I have other informants. Violators and their parents will be dealt with by the school board, and those who are especially delinquent will be dealt with personally by the principal. Now you should eat! Lunch time is coming to an end," the president's voice was soft with Mali and hard when he spoke of troublemakers.

He hated injustice and especially hated school bullying, he had always fought it as hard as he could. In junior high school, he was teased a lot at first because his nickname was given mostly to girls (Hope). His mother gave it to him at birth, because she and her husband for more than 10 years could not conceive a child, but they hoped and believed in a miracle and it came true. She allayed Hope's worries by saying that his name means "a wish that we believe in with all our hearts, that gives us the strength to move forward no matter what." And Hope tried to move forward, ignoring the occasional teasing, bringing all endeavors to a winning point, and by middle school he had earned a reputation as a leader, and the jokes about his nickname stopped.

Without giving the little girl anything to say, Hope looked once more at the dumbfounded students, then turned her around and whispered in her ear: "Go! And don't worry about a thing. I'll meet you at 3:10 pm in my classroom," and then winked cheerfully at her.

With a quick stride, the boy reached the park, by which time his friends had already eaten and were waiting while he quickly devoured, almost without chewing, curry rice. Jean seemed to hover at times, Hope wanted to ask again if everything was okay, but lunch time was coming to an end and they even had to run to the gym.

Today is Tuesday, which means that gym class is fifth and sixth class.

Usually the teacher, aka the basketball coach, was present and paid a lot of attention to his students, but today he said hello, apologized, asked Hope to teach the class because he trusted him like himself, and left.

Hope did an awesome workout for all muscle groups, which he did daily with Grandpa. The guys were moaning by the end, and the particularly brave ones like Jean called him the Monster. Jean was on her usual behavior, but sometimes she hung out and it didn't escape his eyes.

"We'll have to talk to her," Hope thought.

For the second class, the captain divided the class into teams, had a ball warm-up and then friendly basketball games between the teams.

Ten minutes before the end of class, two people entered the gym. Hope blew his whistle to stop the game.

Next to the coach walked with a confident gait a tall young man in a gray-blue three-piece suit with a fitted cut, a white shirt and a cobalt-blue tie with a light beige stripe.

"Gather round! There's a little announcement for you!" - asked the coach to the students.

When everyone stood in two lines, the coach walked up to them and began to speak, "My dear students!... I was happy to be your guide to the world of healthy lifestyle and exercise, to develop your strength and agility! Unfortunately... hehe... I will have to leave the walls of the school for personal reasons... I am grateful to you for your efforts, talent and successes that you have certainly rewarded me with... this is the best praise for me as a coach."

The students looked at the teacher in shock, and occasionally glanced at the young stranger who stood next to him.

"Don't look at me like that! I'm not going to the other world! Hehehe... you and I will meet many more times. I'll try to attend all your games! Better let's get acquainted!... My mission within the walls of this school will be continued by Khun Somchai Phaumnuaypol! He is much younger than me and more experienced, so you guys will have to sweat it out... Hehehe," the coach seemed to be having fun, but his eyes were sad.

The man in the suit fixed his chocolate-colored hair, which fell to his shoulders, and turned to the class:

"Greetings, students! Thank you Khun Kanokwan for introducing me! You may call me P'Jake. I will try not to torture you too much, but I am very much in favor of discipline, so please observe it to the fullest in advance... That's all for now. We won't keep you any longer," the man spoke in a confident and serious baritone and his deep dark eyes looked around the class. Though he let everyone go, the boys continued to stand.

"Oh, my God...it can't be...those eyes...that voice...Lion?...is it really him?" - Hope recognized the man as soon as he spoke and couldn't believe what was happening.

He had an overwhelming urge to disappear, to vaporize, to flee from this hall, and his foot moved backward treacherously, his face flushed slightly with shame, and his eyes dropped to the floor.

But suddenly...

"The captain of the basketball team is here?" - A handsome man looked around the rows of students.

"Not again!...I'm not ready...why now?" - Hope felt panic fill his whole being, his heart was ready to jump out of his chest, but he couldn't run away now, that would be wrong and suspicious.

A deep breath in...breath out....

"Y-yes... it's me..." the captain had to reveal himself, he raised a hand and took a step forward, trying to keep his head up so that his hair covered his forehead more and fell over his eyes.

"There you are!"  - Ran through Jake's head, quickly looking at the guy and averting his gaze to his hands, he quickly spoke out loud: "Tomorrow I want to see the whole team ten minutes before practice starts. Don't take too long. Now everyone is dismissed!"

"He didn't recognize me, did he?...I guess not...the lenses, the hair, the clothes...he couldn't recognize me! Breathe, Hope...breathe! Even I don't recognize myself in the reflection sometimes when I'm in the clubhouse... Oh... coach... you can't just let the coach go like this..." - thought the captain, biting his lip..

Hope's soul was now struggling with the fear of being recognized and the desire to thank his former coach for his work. The latter eventually won out... and he spoke as confidently as he could under the circumstances:

"P'Kanokwan, I want to say thank you so much for your hard work on behalf of all the boys and the basketball team! You have tied your life's work into passing on your experience and knowledge to our generation. We appreciate all that you have done for us!" - Hope folded his hands as a sign of deep respect and bowed slightly, the others immediately followed him, and words of gratitude sprinkled from all sides.

The former coach's eyes warmed and he covered his face with his palms for a moment, "Thank you! Thank you guys..."

"And he's good..." - Jake thought.

When everyone had dispersed, he called out to the former coach, "Khun Kanokwan, could you stay a bit longer and tell me everything you know about the team captain for our better interaction later on?"

"Run!....why have my legs stopped obeying me?!!...We will see each other every day now! ... How am I supposed to be? What if he recognizes me? What if he tells everyone? .... Ouch... Just don't cry!" - Hope changed his clothes quickly on automatic, paying no attention to anyone, and walked out of the locker room.

He tried to walk as fast as he could, but his legs were shaking - his body wasn't obeying him now, and his brain couldn't keep the panic under control anymore.

The hallway.

"Why is this happening to me again?!!!"

The porch.

"I look like a mouse cornered again..."

The stairs.

"I'm a fallen, disgusting person... and now everyone will know it!"

He ran towards the park, the urge to leave this building faster was very strong..

But suddenly...

"P'Hope!!! Pee!!! Wait!" - the boy turned around and saw Mali's small figure in the doorway of the school. He stopped, remembering that they were supposed to meet after the classes.

"Let's sit in the park..." he said and they walked slowly into the shade of the trees.

When they sat down on the grass, Mali, a little shyly, handed him a fruit ice, "Thanks, P! I didn't find you in class so I came downstairs... This afternoon... no one else was hitting on me... well... I didn't know how to write a report... but I'll try really hard if you tell me how to do it..."

The boy took the ice cream and said, trying to pronounce the words softer:

"You don't have to write anything. I made up a little bit when I talked about the task force, but that's between you and me, okay! Just come chat with me and... you can share your worries, I'll always support you and give you advice if you need it."

Talking to the girl, Hope began to come around and calm down. Seeing her big eyes, innocent little face framed by two long black pigtails, and skinny body, he wanted to be stronger so he could protect this fragile creature.

"Can I ask you something, P....how do you deal with large birds that don't want to fly away?" - The girl asked a question that troubled her greatly.

Hope didn't expect such a question, so after thinking for a while, he tried to answer in a simpler way, "If I suddenly keep a bird with me for a while, I allocate it a small cage, rather than letting it roam around wherever it wants, and try to feed it less with my fears, worries and bad memories. Try to fill yourself with light, joyful moments in life, and then your birds will get crowded and shrink, and then leave home altogether!"

"Okay...I'll give it a try...thanks, P'Hope!" - the girl said quietly.

"I have to go, Nong'Mali! I have a School Board meeting. Thanks for the ice cream! Come to this park tomorrow at lunchtime, me and my friends will be here!" - Hope said and took a quick stride toward the school.

At the assembly, Hope puzzled the class elders and their assistants into organizing a trip to the sea, giving the details. The boys were overjoyed and excited by the news, but they did not discuss it in front of the president, and the work continued. They assigned the students on the "Need Help List" for the next week, and discussed the subject of discipline at school, since Hope had brought it up. They decided to create a couple of volunteer groups that would take turns patrolling the building during recess. Due to the plethora of questions piling up, the meeting dragged on and the head teacher realized he was already late for work.

Running outside and heading for the parking lot, Hope remembered that he wanted to talk to his friend and texted her as he walked, "Jean, are you sure you're okay? Can we talk tomorrow?"

She usually responded right away, but now there was silence, the message unread. Hope decided that he would make sure to take her out to talk to her tomorrow.

Troy was already there.

Jumping into the white Mercedes, the guy didn't notice someone watching him from a Mazda CX-5 with tinted windows parked nearby, but it didn't escape Gramps' eyes and as they drove away, he voiced his observations:

"A man in his thirties in a blue suit has been sitting in a silver-colored Mazda CX-5 for half an hour exactly and hasn't left yet. Do you know him?"

Thump-thump...- .... - Thump-thump ...

Hope's heart was pounding like a drum.

A wave of shame, fear and despair washed over him again, and he felt as if he were drowning, suffocating, in this flood of feelings... he felt hot and cold....

"Why are you silent, my son?... You are some kind of strange today... your place of power has not recharged you today?" - Grandpa was worried.

"It's the new basketball coach... There's nothing wrong with me... it's just that, more than ever before, I don't want to go to work..." - Hope pulled himself together and lied.

He tried to keep it convincing, he didn't want to tell Grandpa the truth right now and answer his many questions, he wanted to get his fumbling soul and naughty body in order first:

"Now my place of strength has become my place of weakness..."