Norman wasn't Norman until he was 18 years old. His real name was Banphot Langtong, and the nickname given by his parents at birth was Song, meaning "second". Second child, second son, second in importance in every sense. Father and mother gave all their strength, emotions and resources in the elder Eik, and Song remained in the dark backyards, where the rays of love and care of the most seemingly close people did not reach.

Born in Ley Province, the northeastern and poorest region of Thailand's Isan, his birth foreshadowed only a measured, unremarkable life. The Langtong family was not wealthy, but in their village of Dan Sai, which consisted of only two streets flanked on either side by the colorful wooden houses of the few inhabitants, it carried weight because the father was the chairman of the small settlement.

While Eik had been groomed from the day he was born to succeed him as the head of Dan Sai, Song had to just do well with his duties, which included studying at the local school and working on the plantations in his spare time.

The main income for his family, as well as for all the inhabitants of the region, came from agriculture - mainly growing various crops: bananas, macadamia nuts, passion fruit and Arabian coffee. The boy's destiny was connected with open-air work, which made his body strong and hardy.

Until he was fifteen, Song wanted to stay in his home village to help his family. He would go out of his way to get a word of praise, approval of his efforts and pride in his successes, but at best he was dismissed, and at worst he was cited as an example of his older brother, who was always a step above.

Many of his classmates were satisfied with the fact that their parents fed them and provided them with the necessities of life - that was the bright feeling that filled them with happiness... but not for Song. He wanted to hear love in words and feel it in touch. He kept berating himself, thinking, "It's all about me. I'm not good enough. I'm not worthy of love. I should try to achieve more" never left the teenager's head. And... he tried even harder.

In the village the internet was only in the small library, the boy ran there for half an hour almost every day. The old librarian let him on the computer, because he knew the village head's youngest son well and trusted him.

Mostly Song was looking for information on higher education he could get for the good and prosperity of the family business. The nearest university was in the northern capital of Chiang Mai, but he was more enticed by Kasetsart University in Bangkok, which was one of Thailand's best in engineering and agricultural technology and the third oldest university in the country.

The boy learned what school subjects he needed to push himself in order to pass the entrance exams, and he read a lot of articles, diving headfirst into the world's advances in crop production.

On his fifteenth birthday, which was never really celebrated, at dinner, he announced to his father and mother with burning eyes his intentions to continue his education after graduation. In response, the birthday boy heard a heavy sigh from the head of the family, followed by words he would never forget:

"Song, give up these empty hopes. We won't be able to afford both of our sons' education. Eik will enter Chiang Mai in a year and take over my position after graduation. And you, you belong here. Find yourself a wife, build a house and live like your mother and me."

The obedient son hid his dreams in a distant drawer, but did not stop trying, putting all his efforts into his studies and the family business.

The moment when Song realized that he was not attracted to women was like a nuclear bomb exploding, as if the gods decided to cut most of the cables holding his already shaky world. The guy realized that this would be his lifelong secret, because his family would not accept his orientation, and the whole little crooked house of relations with his parents, on each brick of which he had worked so long, could collapse in a second and never reassemble again.

For almost three years, he'd been hiding the truth. There were no others like him in their little world, or they too had carefully hidden their preferences.  The turning point came during the Phi Ta Khon festival, which was held annually in their village and attracted many tourists.

(From the author: Phi Ta Khon is a festival held in DAN Sai, Ley province, Isan, Thailand. The events take place over three days sometime between March and July, with the dates chosen annually by the town's mediums. The whole event is called Bun Luang, part of the Buddhist festival of attaining merit, also known as Bun Phawet (assembly day). The town's residents ask for protection from Phra U-pakut, the spirit of the Mun River. They then hold a series of games and take part in a procession wearing masks made from sheaths or the underside of thick palm leaf stalks).

The shamans of the village, after learning the date from the spirits, announced the start of the ghost festival, which fell on June 2 this year. This large-scale three-day event attracted not only residents but also foreigners.

"What a sympathetic spirit! I hope it's also helpful. I could really use some help," said a neat, tanned stranger playfully, wearing a light blue, large-flowered suit consisting of a short-sleeved shirt and shorts, and blond dreadlocks. He hovered over Song, who was sitting in the shade, waiting to come out to participate in a costumed spirit dance and holding a huge papier-mache mask.

The tourist's green eyes and white smile glowed with some special light. The boy had only seen such beautiful people in pictures on the Internet, so at this moment it was hard to keep his racing heart at bay. Stuttering slightly, Song replied:

"Greetings, Khun. What kind of help are we talking about? I'll do my best."

It turned out the handsome man had planned to stay at the festival for three days, but he had no place to stay. Song found his father and arranged for the man to stay with him for a couple nights. The village head was too busy and waved him off with a few words, "Fine. Only if he sleeps in your room. No room in the others."

The flirtatious glances of the two young men, the fleeting touches of each other during the feast, led to Song's secret and therefore quiet but very passionate first sex in his own room. The boy had never received so much tenderness from anyone. It hurt, but he tried to ignore it. It was love at first sight for him, and for the first time in his life he was receiving it in return. The stranger was not one to be modest, he clamped and inserted his cock into the eighteen year old young man wherever they couldn't be seen, throughout the festival, and Song gave his body and soul wholeheartedly to this man.

As soon as the festival was over, the blond-haired man left his Bangkok address on a small piece of paper and with a wave of his hand, disappeared behind the hills of Dan Sai. Song was once again left alone with his secret, only now it was joined by an inordinate longing for the man he loved.

He had been studying and working for almost a year as before, but it was as if his restrained soul was sitting on the bank of a body of water, frying in the sun, unable to reach the vital moisture.

Finally, the moment had come, Song packed his things, the money he had saved for the first trimester of his studies, and then, promising his parents that he would return with a bachelor's degree and without much resistance, he left home.

The first days in Bangkok were like a fairy tale for the young man. He greedily breathed this air charged with movement, looked at the huge buildings, bustling people, expensive cars, and it filled his soul with joy. He decided first to enroll at Kasetsart and get a job, and then to meet his first love, to make sure he didn't bring the blond man any unnecessary trouble.

With the first point, he had done well. After successfully passing the exams, settling into the University dormitory and finding a job as a waiter, he put on his only suit that his parents had bought him for graduation and went to the address left for him.

His heart was racing, his breathing was labored as he walked down the hallway to the apartment where his lover lived.

A short, hesitant knock on the door, and he was opened by him...a green-eyed blond man with an already short haircut and wearing only his underwear:

"Yes? Who do you want?"

"I... I'm Song. We're... at the festival..." - All the pre-prepared words left the young man's head at once.

"Who is it, honey?" - Behind the neat handsome man, a young boy, looking Korean, with wet hair and a towel wrapped around his waist, popped out. He put his arm around his landlord's waist and, kissing his bare shoulder, looked at his guest appraisingly.

"He's probably got the wrong apartment," the handsome man bared his teeth and pulled the Korean into his arms, slamming the door shut.

Song's legs abruptly became absorbent cotton. The man he'd been dreaming about for a year not only didn't love him, he didn't even remember him. Reaching the stairs, the boy sat down on the steps and, pressed against the wall, cried quietly. An hour later, the body was able to lift the soul that had become heavy, saturated with despair, pain and fear, and waddled towards the university dormitories.

"Am I not worthy of love? What is wrong with me? It's like I'm a broken piece of this world... No matter how hard I try, I'll never be the first and only in anyone's eyes. The name given by my father has left an imprint on my destiny," while his head was boiling with the oppressive thoughts overwhelming it, his legs carried the boy forward.

Entering his room, he saw on the still free bed from the morning, his future roommate, a brown-haired man with stiff, short dark brown hair sticking out in different directions. He was lying with his eyes closed, drumming his fingers on his bent and crossed legs to the fast rhythm of the music playing on his headphones.

Song sat up on his single bed and wrapped his arms around his head, trying to figure out what to do next and how to dull the heartache. At this point he was in a lost state, studying at his dream uni no longer seemed like something amazing to him. It was a dead end. His inner motor, which had always been running at high speed in an attempt to prove to the world, his family and himself that he was worthy of love, had stalled. Tears began to well up in his eyes again. Suddenly.

"Hey! Hi! I'm Atid. What's your name?" - practically shouted a slender boy with a cute face, taking off his headphones.

"My? I... My name is..." - Song slowly waded out of his quagmire of sad thoughts, gazing into his neighbor's deep dark eyes, while his tongue did not turn to say his damn name.

"Are you all right? You look a little pale. Do you want some candy? My mom gave me a whole suitcase full of them for brain work," the kid, who looked like a ripe fruit of a coconut tree with his hair and three moles on his cheek, chirped.

"It's okay. My name is... Norman. Nice to meet you," looking at Atid smiling sweetly at him, who was as sunny as his name, the boy did not hesitate to name himself after Norman Ernest Borlaug, an American agronomist and breeder known as the "father of the Green Revolution" and awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.

Coconut, as Norman called his neighbor, became his best friend. His support and care like coconut water quenched the boy's thirst for love received from the outside, and acted as an antipyretic, lowering the degree of self-abuse.

Before he knew it, he was head over heels in love with his fellow man. At the freshman graduation party, the guys came back to the room loaded with a lot of alcohol. It started with drunken dancing, legs splayed, falling on the bed and kissing....

Waking up was awkward, Norman gathered his courage and confessed his love to his neighbor, but even here he was disappointed - Atid with tears in his eyes asked for forgiveness and told him that for a long time he had loved his senior, a family friend who was waiting for him and they would be together after graduation.

Another unrequited love....

Another collapse of his dreams and desires.

The words - "No one will ever love me" were carved with an ugly painful stigma on his heart and led Norman to choose and accept mental loneliness. He continued to get better in all directions: academically, athletically, and in the workplace, only no longer for others, but for himself. Now he wore the mask of a joker-smart man, hiding his true - naive and tender self, dreaming of love.

A man with a new name and a new life position liked many guys and girls, but he let them only into his bed and only for one night, plunging the main muscular organ of his body in cryo-sleep until better times.

After graduating from University with honors at the age of 23, he headed back to his homeland as he had previously planned. His parents hugged their returning son for the first time and congratulated him on his diploma, which made his heart leap slightly in an attempt to come alive, but the fear of getting another painful stint prevented him from doing so.

Norman became his brother's right-hand man, and they worked up to their seventh sweat, increasing the turnover of the family business and the income received, emphasizing the cultivation and sale of the royal walnut.

Two years later, a young man of short stature came to their village, wearing glasses that he kept adjusting with excitement. He had been sent to Dan Sai from Chiang Mai to be an elementary school teacher. He was naive and, importantly, to Norman's taste, so within a month the lad was lying in one of the barns on cut macadamia and banana tree leaves in his strong arms, naked and sweaty after experiencing an orgasm.

Norman saw the love in his teacher's eyes and actions, he seemed to have gotten what he so badly desired but could not reciprocate. He was tender and caring with the boy, but his heart did not thaw and did not beat in the sweet rhythm of love as it had before.

For three years they hid their relationship under the cover of night, for three years Norman cursed himself for using this man, so similar to his former self, but could not let him go, because the modest boy brought him the warmth and joy he needed in his life.

Shortly before the annual festival, his father announced that his youngest son should follow in his brother's footsteps and marry, and a bride had already been chosen - the daughter of a friend from a neighboring village. Norman nodded in agreement, deciding to let it go, not wanting to quarrel with his parents, and the meeting of the couple took place on the first day of the festival.

Things went wrong the moment the village leader announced to the villagers the imminent wedding of his youngest son, calling him by his old nickname. A young teacher jumped out of the crowd and threw himself tearfully into Norman's arms. He spoke of his love in front of the crowd and, sobbing, begged his lover to stay with him. When the father angrily pushed away the unscrupulous boy and looked questioningly at his son, he could not lie, his conscience did not allow him to do so and save himself by hurting and devaluing the feelings of the man who loved him.

This was the end of the stable life built up over the years. The teacher was expelled from the village on the same day, and Norman was hated by the native people, to whom he became disgusted, and they did not hide it, expressing their feelings in words and actions.

The only person who supported him was the old librarian, who advised the lad to get away from this place, forget his former life and start all over again. So he did so - he packed the essentials for the first time, got behind the wheel of his old Toyota and drove away, leaving behind the past and a cloud of road dust.

So Norman sits at the table of a newly opened street eatery in Bangkok, drinking beer and staring into the void. It had been a month since he'd come to the capital without a plan and was just squandering the money he'd saved over the past few years. Having changed his phone number, he immediately cut all the strings connecting him to the past, but it didn't bring comfort, only more desolation and apathy.

"What shall I do next? Gods, show me the right path," the boy prayed to himself as he took one last sip from the bottle.

Suddenly a shot rang out across the street. Norman rose sharply from his chair, unlike the other people, who, on the contrary, either pressed themselves to the ground or hid in the depths of the cafeteria. Perhaps he was affected by the alcohol he had drunk, but there was no fear at this moment, he quickly assessed the situation and had already taken a step forward.

A frail, petite woman was hiding behind an expensive-looking silver-colored car while two of her guards clashed with the attackers, who were twice as numerous. Another series of shots rang out, and already one bodyguard was covering the woman, who was bending over the car in an attempt to get behind the wheel. It all happened in a matter of seconds, Norman didn't hesitate, his legs were already carrying him to her aid. Pushing aside two not-so-big men who hadn't expected an attack from behind, he helped her dive into the front passenger seat, covering her with his body, and then got behind the wheel and, starting the car quickly, drove the victim of the attack away from the place.

"Who are you?" - The cold, rough voice didn't match the appearance of this small, beautiful victim of the attack at all, and Norman wrote it off to the fright of what had happened, so he spoke to her calmly and with a smile:

"My name is Norman, Khun, I saw your difficult situation and decided to help."

The woman continued to stare at him in disbelief.

"It's gratuitous, just in case," he followed with a wink and a chuckle, trying to lighten the mood, then looked at the passenger studying him with a look of dark eyes and added: "Take deep breaths in and out. You're obviously in shock right now. I'll spin around for a while, and once you come to your senses, tell me where to take you."

The woman laughed, and then held out a slim hand with a perfect manicure to him, with an arrogant request: "Give me your phone number.

Norman felt a chill, he took a second to look at the dashboard and realized that he was sitting in a Bentley of the latest model, and the lady was obviously not a mere mortal.

He held out his phone to her and a moment later he heard an icy hissing voice shivering to the point of shivering:

"You're lucky I'm in one piece. I don't care whose order it was, have his head delivered to the Club gift-wrapped in my favorite colors by tonight. And find the rat whose fault it was that I came under fire! Cut off fingers on all limbs and bring him to me alive, I want to hear what he has to say goodbye."

The woman then held out her cell phone to the owner and said in an already more pleasant tone:

"Take me to the Red Dragon Club on Pathum Wan. I'll invite you for breakfast. Entertain me with your story while my men search for the culprits. By the way, my name is Makoto and... nothing... look ahead."

The woman turned away to the side window, and tapped silently on the armrest with long red fingernails all the way.

Norman realized that by his well-intentioned careless act he might have gotten into something he shouldn't have, but it was too late.

To his modest - "Thank you for the offer, I must get back to my business", the guy was gifted with an icy stare and an equally cold "You're coming with me. It's non-negotiable."

Norman swallowed and complied. The club was empty at this early hour; they were met by about ten guards and escorted to a luxurious restaurant. It was the kind of place he'd never been before, so he fidgeted awkwardly with his heel on the posh upholstery of the couch and straightened his back unnaturally as he was scanned by the dark, pitch-black eyes of the woman he'd rescued.

"The usual. For two," the queen of this hive said to the waiter who ran out and stood at attention. The kid was immediately out of sight, and she turned to her rescuer: "State your full name."

"Banphot...Langtong," Norman replied uncertainly.

The woman quickly sent a message from the phone one of the bodyguards had handed her, and after taking a sip of water, she spoke:

"Tell me something. What do you do? What are your plans in life?"

"Ahem... Khun, I'm currently on a job search. No thoughts on what to do yet," the guy answered honestly.

"Okay. We'll grab a bite to eat and then we'll talk. I want to give you a couple ideas."

During the sumptuous breakfast Norman could not relax under the gaze of the Club's hostess and the three men in suits standing nearby. Finally, this silent meal ended and Makoto was brought a large leather folder, opening it, she began leafing through the papers and speaking incoherently:

"Banphot Langtong... Dan Sai village... university with honors... agriculture... non-traditional orientation..."

The folder was tossed onto the table, and the Queen addressed her guest in a soft voice, sharply different from what he had heard before:

"It's clear. You have a good basis for becoming my assistant. As you can see, I am no mere mortal, and your job will not be easy, but you will get everything you desire - money, power, and youthful asses in any quantity. I need someone like that to run this establishment."

It was a tempting offer, but Norman's sense of self-preservation told him to turn it down quickly and run far away:

"Thank you for the honor, but..."

"Aaagr, I hate those 'buts' and refusals always ruin my mood. Norman, I rarely offer something like this, so don't even dare say no. I'll send you to the Farm for six months, you'll love it there."

"The Farm?"

"Haha... it's not like anything you've dealt with in the past, well maybeee... you could say this place raises elite steers that are very useful in my business," Makoto smiled contentedly and nodded at the bodyguards standing off to the side.

"You want me to be one of your bodyguards?"

"Don't be stupid, Norman! As I said, you will be my closer, but you must know the basics. You can't be weak in our world. A farm is expensive, but I won't deduct the cost of tuition from your paycheck like I do with the rest of you. It'll be free for you!"

The boy took the hint, the woman repeated his recent words, which meant she was trying to repay him for the rescue, but due to her principles she could not say it out loud. He asked to go out into the fresh air to smoke and think. Makoto waved a fan of her fingers and he was escorted to the emergency exit.  It took five minutes and one cigarette to make a decision.

***

The farm turned out to be a serious school that trained the most sought-after bodyguards for the mafia layer of society. First of all, Norman and three other Makoto guys were asked to sign a contract, the terms of which included complete confidentiality of the services rendered, for disclosure of which was supposed to be "punished at the discretion of the head of the executive organization. 

Then they were taken to the countryside, where on a huge territory of several hectares there were giant wooden houses like barns. Four dozen recruits were lined up in three rows in the very sun and told to wait for the chief.

It was unbearably hot and thirsty, but Norman looked around at his future coworkers and continued to stand and did not move exactly like them.

"Your balls are sweating, aren't they? Don't wiggle your head. This is a test. The commander is watching," whispered the guy standing behind him. Norman was about to turn his head, but then, from the direction of the nearest barn, came a commanding voice: "Greetings, youngsters!" and a gray-haired man approached the group of boys. 

He looked at everyone with green eyes and, walking along the line, began to make his opening speech loud and clear:

"My name is Troy, for you it's Hia. Whether you like it or not, we are going to have to become very close within the walls of this facility. My assistants and I will become your father, mother, mentor, and friend, and we will address you by your first name until you disappoint us.

The ground rules for the next six months are simple. First, laziness, sloppiness, tardiness, tardiness, lying, and unworthy behavior are punishable by warnings. Three missteps equals immediate banishment, which will probably jeopardize your health, since under the terms of the contract I do not refund money spent by your dangerous patrons in case of expulsion for a good reason.

Secondly, love is taboo within these walls. There is no room for emotion in this business. The client comes first! I know you can't control your heart, which means you'll have to go outside the perimeter together. You'll build a relationship outside the walls of this world. Next! Although I am on women, but I understand everything and do not forbid to fool around for health, but it must be in moderation and not interfere with the educational process. Those who are particularly horny will also vacate their bunk.

My brothers - Calleo, Tassna and Sonthi - will now give you a little tour and show you your nests for the next six months. I expect everyone in the arena in forty minutes! Let's see what you are all about. At ease!"

"Isn't he cool? He only appears here for two or three hours a day, the rest of the time he leads the Wongsawat family's security. Khun Pol sponsors this establishment and put his confidant in charge. I'm lucky, I'll be working under this machine," a cheerful young voice came from behind him again, and a fellow student shook Norman's shoulders with his palms.

Turning around, he saw a smiling, cute, neat brunet with brown eyes, who was shorter than him by about five centimeters. The sunlight played on his smooth, fair skin and pink, narrow lips.

Norman stopped breathing for a second, but his experienced brain stayed awake:

"Heart, what are you up to all of a sudden? Go back to sleep! This is definitely not the time or place to be fluttering around!"

"You've got something stuck in your teeth," he said emotionlessly to the friendly kid and returned to his original position.

***

"Attention!... The next couple is Norman and Soni! Out, boys," the Commander announced, and Norman went out for his first ever sparring session. The opponent was the same kid with the divine smile.

Soni was good at fist fighting, and after five minutes he had Norman pinned to the floor with his whole body, trapping his arm behind his back.

"You... smell pretty good, flower. How about... working as my toothpick for the next six months?" - whispered a grinning, panting Soni in his rival's ear. Norman didn't have time to give a decent response before Troy announced the end of the bout:

"Finished. Good. Attention! Take notes, boys. Bigger is not better."

It was a blow to Norman's ego, who, by virtue of his nature, spent the next months proving to himself and everyone around him that he could do anything. The twenty-eight-year-old practiced more than anyone else on this Farm, and ended up ranking in the top five in weapons skills, tactical techniques for client defense in highly complex simulated situations, and hand-to-hand combat

He left the walls of the institution with an excellent grade, his head held high, a whole list of basic rules for an executive protection agent, and a new ugly scar on his heart for failing to keep him from yet another encounter with unrequited love.

"Holy shit, Norman! You need to finally accept the fact that you're not going to have a relationship in this incarnation. No matter how hard you try, NO ONE WILL EVER love you. Work and casual relationships are your life. Embrace it!"

Our days

Six years later, there is no trace of the naive Song. Norman plunged headlong into the dark underworld and became one of the closest and most trusted confidants of the coldest and most ruthless woman in Thailand. He knew superficially what her not inconsiderable organization was doing, but he never stuck his nose where it didn't belong.

"Red Dragon" was a territory in which he was God to the staff and visitors and an anti-stress pillow to Makoto's frequent visits to her brainchild. The dangerous woman saw potential in her bright subordinate and so she trained him like a faithful dog, gradually throwing more and more responsibilities on him.

And as a result Norman was responsible not only for the error-free organization of all internal activities of the Club, but also for the development and implementation of schemes to increase profits, as well as for external protection, which also involved bribing law enforcement agencies.

If he could partially entrust the control over the part of the Club that was open in every respect, which included the restaurant, bar and dance floor, he took the work with the rainbow brothel completely under his wing.

Going downstairs, Norman constantly struggled with feelings of guilt toward the rainbow employees, who were essentially just boys with broken destinies.  This place challenged his positive qualities every time, he had to shut up his conscience and empathy, smile at the customers, among whom were often nasty bastards, and cheer up the employees selling their bodies.

One hot June day, Makoto announced that a kid from the Club's small staff had come of age and would take over as Red from tomorrow, and asked Norman to prepare the necessary paperwork. The new kid was to take two customers each weekday and work as a waiter on weekends.

The next morning he was awakened by the phone ringing - it was a man they hadn't spoken to in four years:

📞 "Norman, hello, darling! I'm sorry, I must have woken you up. I know you don't owe me anything, you haven't been my student for a long time, and it's not in my principles to ask for help. But... in the current situation, only you can help me."

The manager did not expect that this incredible man, whom he respected immensely and regarded as a father figure, and to whom he was indebted for his support and valuable advice during his most difficult time on the Farm, would just call and ask him for anything. It was out of the realm of fantasy, so Norman blurted out at once:

"Hello, Hia! Glad to hear from you. I'll try to help in any way I can."

"Go ahead, but don't get too enthusiastic. If you feel you're in a bad spot and you're going to be executed, you'd better get off. I don't want to set you up. I'll find another way out."

"Intrigued. Spit it out. I'll think about it."

"My son starts work tomorrow on your property... Fuck, I don't even want to think of polite words! He'll be... in that weird rainbow cellar! Understand? Makoto's the bitch, she wouldn't let me pay his debt, and now he's gonna have to..."

"Hia... Tawin Buatong, who came to take Red's place, is your son?"

"Not my own, but I love that idiot... Without consulting me, he traded three years as a bodyguard for a year in this vile cloaca."

"I get it... What do you want?"

"I don't know yet. Let's think about it together."

"Hia, this place is exactly what you say it is. Guys get fucked hard and all over, and sometimes two clients at the same time..."

"Stop! Norman, stop it! I don't even want to hear it... maybe he'll perform some... fucking... minor... favors?"

"Hmmm... The smallest thing is oral sex... I can spell it out in his terms and conditions and put a lower price tag on it, but that feint won't escape Makoto's gaze..."

"Bitch... I'm not happy with any kind of sex... Just imagining it makes me want to stand next to him with a machine gun in my hands and shoot anyone who comes within a meter... Sorry... I'm still on edge... Pffff... Let's say... there's going to be that fucking minimum... If I put a lower price tag and tell the migera that he's, like, inexperienced? Would that work? Or I could pay what I need. Also, I want you to check every client in advance, listen to every session, and find me a reliable person among the basement workers."

"Hia, wait, stop rushing. Let me figure it out. I'll make special arrangements for him, wiretapping is no problem, I'll deal with the clients too, but the man... give me a couple days to think about it, okay?"

"Yeah, sure... Thanks, Norman. If you need any help, feel free to reach out. And... please keep Hope safe, he's all I have, I'm trusting him to you on your turf. Me and my guys aren't allowed in there after the Fiat incident."

"Understood, Hia. Don't worry about it. I'll text you my other number where we'll keep in touch."

"Okay. Hanging up."

After careful deliberation and gathering information on all the rainbows, Norman's choice fell on Green as the man who could help Red and his guardian. And he never once regretted his decision. The handsome man in green steadily reported on the boy's every action in the recreation room and his mood, and supported the newcomer as much as he let him.

Norman had accomplished everything he had promised Troy and more. For two months now their plan had been working like a perfectly tuned clock, but the arrival of the fucking new guy had ruined everything.

Tuesday. August 17

The day had been bad since the morning: the pylon girl had taken a sick leave, the artists had canceled their arrival for the evening, and even a huge penalty didn't stop them, and a cockroach was found under the sofa in the restaurant during cleaning. It was also necessary to fully deal with what happened on Sunday, when a client died during the reception in the yellow room right on the kid, and to study, sign a lot of documentation.

The apogee of all this bacchanalia was the arrival at the Indigo bet of a man the manager in no way expected to meet again for once in this life.

Norman's last passionate love, knocking on the door, entered the office, walked straight to the sofa, seated himself comfortably on it, and grinned:

"Well, hello, Norfman! Long time no see."

"How many times have I asked you not to call me that... Are you Viriya Bantadtan?" - The puzzle in the manager's head still didn't fit together, "What the fuck is going on here?"

"Huh, doesn't seem like it? Look at the passport again," the guy snapped at him, and Norman noticed that he had changed a lot in recent years. In the face of the once cheerful, radiant man there was sadness: eyes slightly narrowed, faded look, a few vertical folds on the bridge of his nose, the inner corners of his eyebrows raised. His expression did not match his caustic remarks and hyena-like half-smile.

"I see life has taken its toll on you. What are you here for?" - Norman put on a mask of austerity and indifference, trying to ignore the quickening pace of his heart.

"Very much looking forward to working as a unicorn in your rainbow abode," he grinned again.

"Did you know that the unicorn is the heraldic symbol of caution, prudence, discretion, purity, and purity? You're clearly not the one to come to us with that."

"Ha ha ha, and you're still the same... I need this job, and I hope you won't put a stick in the wheels of my speeding train. It's no use."

Norman's built up calm peace shook, he was stung from within by the desire to drive the fellow away and forget this encounter, putting things back to normal:

"I'll give it a try, though. First, read the terms of the contract. I don't think you'll like it...especially clause 4, 'Employee Duties'."

"Whatever you say, boss," Soni walked confidently over to the desk, grabbed the document handed to him and... immediately picked up a pen and signed it without looking at it.

"Are you crazy?" - Norman was in shock.

"Norfman, let's get down to business. I can't wait to get started," again a strained smile and sudden movements accompanied unusual for Soni icy voice. Norman couldn't stand it and gave in to his emotions:

"What's wrong with you? If you need help, just tell me and I'll try to help you."

For a split second the boy's gaze cleared, but immediately faded again:

"Stay out of my business. Just do what I ask you to do out of old friendship."

For a couple of seconds the two men stared at each other with dark eyes, and Norman, gritting his teeth, said:

"All right. Follow me."

"That's the way to do it, Norfman," Soni grinned, following the man quickly out of the office.

Explaining the rules, giving a tour of the small "rainbow" basement, introducing Sonny to his colleagues, Norman hoped that the guy would turn around and say that he didn't give a damn and leave. But Soni on the contrary was very attentive, looking and asking about every detail of this brothel machine.

When Indigo had changed into his "work uniform," Norman led him into a blue room. The boy slowly entered it and sat down on the bed:

"So this is where...I'm going to get fucked. It's okay...soft..."

There was so much sadness and bitterness in the voice and in the eyes of this once strong man that Norman immediately walked over to him and, taking his hand on his forearm, covered in blue silk, began to be unexpectedly gentle:

"Soni--"

"Indigo... Don't forget yourself. Go already. You must have a lot of things to do," Norman's attempt at help and encouragement was cut short by a baleful stare.

When the manager returned to his office, he couldn't concentrate on his work, all his thoughts were on the guy he had loved to the point of madness, but had never been able to confess it to him, having had a bad experience of such confessions and exposure of his feelings.

The man was brought out of his trance by one of his assistants, Aran, who entered the office with a pile of papers after knocking quietly.

"All quiet upstairs?" - Norman pulled himself together immediately.

"Yeah, everything's fine. I checked the rainbow clients too," the guy reported back and, bowing his head slightly, walked out.

"So... What's up Red?" - the man remembered his secret mission to protect Troy's child, so he quickly put on his headphones and started listening to what was going on in the red room. Unintelligible sounds were followed by the client's words:

"You haven't satisfied me yet! ... That sexy panties ... but we won't need them! ... Ah ... such smooth skin ... How beautiful you are ... why can't I fuck you! Everyone else can, but you can't..."

With each word the visitor said, Norman's eyebrows drew together more and more on the bridge of his nose, he couldn't hear Red, and the realization came to him abruptly, "This is bad!"  A loud "Biiitch!" rang through the office, and he rushed to the guy's aid, then thanked the gods that he had gotten there in time, otherwise he would never be able to look his mentor in the eye again. The stoned client was escorted out by security, and the manager carried the passed-out blond to his office.

The day had been a real curse - while he'd been trying to bring Red back to consciousness by improvised means, there'd been a drunken brawl between patrons in the bar, but he'd left it up to the deputies to solve the problem themselves for some time to come, and stayed with the kid.

Norman was ashamed as hell in front of Troy for not looking after the kid entrusted to his care, so after handing him over to his guardian, the first thing he did was call and reprimand Aran for his grave mistake. All visitors were visually inspected before going downstairs, and any inappropriate behavior, much less the smell of drugs that Norman smelled as soon as he touched the VIP client, were taboo to pass into the rainbow rooms.

After that incident, he had clearly decided for himself that he would leave all personal matters outside the Club.

***

Then he plunged back into the work routine, and everything seemed to rest solely on him. Only Norman could resolve conflict situations in such a way that the customers were not offended by the establishment and its staff. Duty smile, always polite tone, individual approach to everyone and, in case of emergency, exorbitant cruelty confirmed his supreme authority in this place.

In a succession of gray fluidity there were bright spots, such as the "pillow client" who showed up at the Club at the very beginning of the week and chose Red. It was a pleasure to eavesdrop on them, and the boy was clearly interested in this dark-haired handsome man who, unlike the others who came in, wanted only casual talking, so Norman decided to help them out by signing Jake up for the soonest available time.

The man had blocked out his trying to rekindle his feelings for Soni, so he tried to abstract himself from everything going on in the blue room. But he was reminded of it every day: first, by customers complaining that the guy pretending to be a log wasn't worth the money, and second, by Green's daily reports, which always included a few unkind words about Indigo's behavior among his own.

Norman decided to get to the bottom of the true motives behind the appearance of a man from his past in this place, and summoned him to his office for a private conversation.

"I'll give you a minute. State the purpose of your mission in detail, or you'll get a paycheck and a dismissal slip today," the man sat at his desk and kept his gaze fixed on the marker he was tapping on his clipboard with one side and the other.

"What's the big deal all of a sudden?" - Indigo walked over and sat down on the countertop across from the manager.

"I'm asking the questions now. Forty seconds left," Norman raised his head and looked sternly at the guy, who didn't look so good today, bags under his eyes and bitten lips added to the faded look.

"You like to complicate things... All right. I'll tell it like it is... Makoto tests a drug on the customers of this place that is fatal in most cases. The same drug used to kill the Wongsawat family's son..."

"You mean Fiat? It's been four years, it's an old case..."

"Long ago? For me, it's like yesterday. It's a huge tragedy... Norfman... I'm on a mission for Khun Nanf... the tip is accurate. There's a rat here, or even a few," the mist in the boy's eyes cleared and a fierce fire flared in them, it was obvious that he was holding back his anger, pausing to take a breath of air and not to say too much.

"So that's why you're bothering my boys with your questions?! The rainbow part is clear!" - Norman shouted, standing up from the table and looking earnestly into the blazing eyes of his interlocutor.

"You're out of touch with what's going on under your nose, you idiot! Some of your favorite flowers are definitely involved! The red one is the most suspicious, and that green mamba is obviously covering for him. Take a closer look!" - Soni insisted.

"Don't you dare talk to me like that! And don't you touch my men! They're tried and true! There can't be any problems on their part! Do your assignment and get out! Out of respect for Troy and our past friendship, I won't touch you, but just in case, you better not get in trouble!" - Norman was furious at what he heard.

"Yeah, come on! Don't get so seething! Let's cooperate. I mean, we were raised on the same farm...you could say brothers. That's a good point, Norman! The contagion is spreading from this cesspool. Open your eyes wide! The Yellow story is a case in point!  And as for your men... my instincts never fail me!" - Indigo's voice softened.

"Things aren't entirely clear with Yellow yet... And speaking of the farm! You know that Troy and Red..." - Norman didn't have time to finish as there was a knock on the door and a blond man in a red robe immediately ran in:

"P'Norman, I pressed the button, but no one came! There's a customer down there in a bad way! I've done CPR, but he's not conscious yet..."

"Go to the break room! I'll handle everything!" - Norman reacted lightning fast and ran out into the corridor, while dialing on his cell phone the number of the doctor who worked at the Club, as there were often emergency situations.

The client was in a bad state, but breathing and mooing, Norman and Aran escorted him upstairs to the doctor's office, who was busy again.

The next seven working hours passed quietly enough, apart from Norman snapping and reprimanding Indigo in front of his colleagues. 

The doctor confirmed that the client had simply overdosed, the assistant reported that he looked adequate when he entered the room, but no drugs or empty drug packages were found on the man. All this alarmed Norman, and he thought more and more of Indigo's words.

At three in the morning the Club finally emptied, the manager sat down at his desk and rested his head on the back of his chair:

"I'm so sick of everything..."

No sooner had the man finished his decadent thought than Indigo entered the room without knocking. He walked silently to the couch and lay down, turning his back to the wall and curling up in a fetal position.

Norman stared at him for a while and then came over and sat down beside him, lightly touching his feet:

"You okay?"

"Shit... Sit with me for a while... I'll be gone soon," Soni's voice muffled by the hands clasped over her face was shaking.

"Why did you...?" - Norman's heart shook again, dozens of questions swarming in his head, but he swallowed the words and just sat next to her, remembering the past.

The beginning of the flashback

After six months of intensives, the group of guys who had been trained met at the Farm for another year and a half, once a month for a week, to consolidate the skills they had learned and share their experiences.

For Norman, those seven days always began and ended the same way - like a sweet fruit with a bitter aftertaste, or a soul feast that ended each time with her funeral, and three weeks later she came back to life. He looked forward to seeing the bright, cheerful boy, and each time underwent the horror of saying goodbye to him as the week drew to a close.

They'd been friends ever since they'd sat down on the mats after their first sparring session.

"Old man, you're in good shape. Thought I'd put you down in the first ten seconds," Soni merrily rambled as he placed his hand on his defeated opponent's bare knee.

"Nong, put your hand away," Norman hissed, not wanting to get into any kind of relationship with his colleagues.

"Wowooo, what an icebreaker! And we're all equals here. I'm going to call you Norfman! Like it?" - the guy put his hand on the man's strong shoulders and began to sway from side to side, thus propelling the man sitting next to him as well.

"And you're Soni? I'll call you..." - Norman began, but hesitated.

"Sunny! That's good enough for me. Maybe I'll melt your icy heart? Let's be friends?" - chuckled the twenty-year-old, fully exposing his white teeth.

Since then they became friends, but the more they communicated, the more the man's heart thawed, and after a couple of months he couldn't lie to himself - love had come over him again.

He could not confess his feelings to the object of his admiration, for fear of stepping on the same rake again. Then Norman was repeatedly convinced that he had done the right thing, as not once noticed Soni secluded with fellow students.

During the year and a half of their meetings at the Farmers' Gathering, Norman could sense the boy's changing moods. He could tell he was head over heels in love with someone whose name he wouldn't tell, no matter how many times a friend asked him. Soni sparkled with happiness and no longer ran with guys into the "bushes" under the cover of night.

Two months before graduation, Soni changed dramatically. He had no face on him and spent all his free time alone in the green part of the Farm. Norman's questions about his condition were answered only by silence or by the phrase, "I want to be alone," so the man did not touch him, tormented by the agony of seeing his beloved in such a pitiable condition.

On the penultimate week Norman gathered his courage and decided to confess his feelings to the guy after all. After dinner he saw Soni walking towards the trees again and followed.

"Soni, I'd like to talk to you..." - the man stood not far from the guy, facing his direction, and looked at the heliconia leaves, being unable to look into his eyes.

"Norfman... I was so happy with him... I don't understand why he broke up with me... after all, we loved each other so much... I could never love anyone else as much..."

The man's heart stopped, the world abruptly turned black and white, and a lump formed in his throat. Unable to say anything, he reached out a shaky hand and patted the guy's shoulder a couple times for support.

They stood like that for a long time, silently staring into the void while the two men's hearts bled with unrequited love. Everything inside Norman screamed, cursing this life, the gods, and his foolish, love-crying heart. When Sonny left without another word, he fell to the ground and wept until dawn.

They never saw each other again.

The end of the flashback

Soni lingered in Norman's office for about an hour that evening and also left silently.

"No. This is all wrong. Love is in the past. I'm at work, and I have to behave with him the same way I do with the others," with these thoughts the manager took his things, turned off the light, and left the workplace.

Friday. August 20

Norman came to work early that day to examine the personnel files of all the employees, as Sonia's words about testing an unknown drug on the Club's clients did not leave his mind. He spent three hours on this and, finding nothing out of the ordinary, went about his daily duties.

After checking the main floor and making sure everything was going well, he went downstairs as the rainbow boys had to get to work soon.

The basement was fun, as Red showed up to work wet and in a completely loopy state. It took quite a while to persuade the stubborn man to leave the Club, even resorting to threats. When Troy took the boy away, Norman exhaled and informed his customers that they would be seeing someone else today. That other was Indigo, whose schedule was nearly empty due to disgruntled customers.

To avoid thinking about anything, the man made his way to his office and plunged headfirst into the accounting paperwork.

At the second hour of the night, the door slowly opened and, as if in deja vu, Soni walked in, made his way to the couch and lay down on it in the same pose, only this time facing Norman.

"I can't take it anymore... Thought I was strong... and don't care about anything... but... " - he uttered quietly and tearfully.

The man walked over to the couch and squatted down next to the guy and almost whispered:

"Soni, maybe it's not worth the agony? Leave it all to me. I'll try to figure it out. I promise."

"Thank you... but, no. I have to avenge my lover myself," Indigo placed his palm on his boss's hand and spoke while looking eye to eye.

"Your lover? You... about Fiat?" - things were finally starting to fall into place in his head; Soni loved his employer's son, and hadn't shown up for the last week of training since the kid had died during that time.

"About him... yeah. We loved each other, and then... it all happened so suddenly... he left me, started dating a girl, and... two months later he was killed."

"I see. Go home," Sonia's words suddenly hurt Norman like hell, and the only thing he wanted was for him to leave as soon as possible.

"Go home? Ha. I live in a rented condo two blocks from here. I can't sleep well. I have nightmares and every time I wake up crying and can't sleep for a long time."

"I'm sorry...but you have to go," Norman stood up and turned away, Soni immediately repeated his action and, moving closer so that the man could feel his breath on his neck, spoke slowly:

"You're always so cold, brrrrr. Your heart is not a heart but an icebox, Norfman. But I know you're a good man, and you won't refuse my request."

The manager closed his eyes and felt the warmth spread from his neck to all his limbs, coating his skin with goosebumps. He only sighed but said nothing, trying to subdue and calm his body.

"Can you spend the night with me? I trust you. And I'm not ashamed to admit it - I feel so fucked up right now that I need someone for support. At least until I complete my mission."

Norman's eyes popped out of his orbits after hearing that, a battle brewing inside him between his mind, eager to protect his shell from yet another mental and physical pain, and his screaming heart, which insisted on a positive answer.

"I won't hit on you, honestly..." - Soni added in a pleading voice, and the man just couldn't tell him no:

"Okay. I'll give you my phone number. Text me your address, change your clothes and go home. I'll wrap up my business and come over."

"Thank you... It's great. It'll be like the old days when we used to lie on the next bunks next to each other and talk about nothing for hours. It'll definitely get me through this hell," Sonny said with a smile, and Norman, afraid to turn around and look into his eyes, walked to the desk, quickly wrote his number in his notebook, tore out the sheet and held it out without looking at the man behind him.

"I'll be waiting for you. Thanks again," after those words and the door slammed shut, Norman began to greedily gulp air with his mouth. Collapsing into his chair and clutching his hands to his head, he mentally berated himself:

"Why? Why did you agree to this? Why would you torture yourself again? He had said then at the Farm that he could never love anyone else. It's been four years since Fiat died and he still loves him... avenges him. I'm an idiot... Fucking love! Fucking restless heart!"

The man tried to finish the paperwork, but the letters in his eyes wouldn't form into sentences, so abandoning this futile endeavor, he went for one last round of his possessions.