18: Desire for Vengeance
Shu Yue stared at the silver hairpin in her hand as she sat at her dressing table. It was seven inches long, and at the head of it was a beautifully carved plum blossom with a red tassel. Her chest and throat tightened when she remembered her dream, sharp and vivid in her mind. This hairpin was supposed to be Wu Lanqi's gift for Chen Xue's upcoming eighth birthday. But because of the tragedy that occurred, she never got the chance. Wu Lanqi ended up giving the hairpin to Shu Yue on her seventh birthday instead.
It was the most precious gift Shu Yue ever had. And she'd been wearing it since the day she got it.
But after having that dream, Shu Yue couldn't bring herself to wear it. She felt guilty. This hairpin originally belonged to Chen Xue, and Shu Yue was the reason she was no longer with them. She didn't deserve this precious hairpin.
Xue...
She tightened her fist, squeezing the hairpin. Just as she thought of putting it in the box, a knock came at her door.
"Yue'er, are you awake?" Wu Lanqi asked.
"Yes, mother. I'm already up," Shu Yue responded and placed the hairpin on the table. She looked at herself in the mirror as Wu Lanqi opened the door and entered inside.
Wu Lanqi wore a light pink robe with peony patterns, and she had a silver jasmine hairpin tucked in her bun. She looked gentle and beautiful. If Chen Xue were still alive, she would have been as lovely as her mother.
"How are you feeling?" Wu Lanqi asked with a soft smile and gentle eyes as she walked toward her.
Shu Yue's heart skipped a beat. Does she know?
According to Xiao Ran, she only groaned in her sleep, and no one else awoke except him. As a half-fox spirit, Xiao Ran had much more sensitive hearing than humans. Which was why he heard her discomfort despite the distance between their rooms.
Knowing mother, she should have gone to my room to check if she heard me.
"Xiao Ran told me," Wu Lanqi said in a quiet voice as if she heard her unvoiced question.
Shu Yue stiffened.
"Not voluntarily," Wu Lanqi added immediately. "I saw him leave your room with a worried face and a guqin. I know something is up when he plays the guqin for you. When I asked him, he told me you had an unpleasant dream."
"Oh, I see". Shu Yue forced a smile. "Don't worry, mother, I'm fine now."
Wu Lanqi smiled as she looked at Shu Yue in the mirror. Shu Yue could see in Wu Lanqi's eyes that she had more to say. Maybe she wanted to ask her about her dream. But she didn't, which Shu Yue appreciated.
"Yue'er," Wu Lanqi uttered softly. "I'm your mother. You can tell me anything. But it's perfectly all right if you don't want to. Just remember that I'll always be here for you."
Warmth filled Shu Yue's chest. She smiled. "Thank you, mother." There was a long moment of silence before she spoke again. "I dreamt about that day."
She need not say more. Wu Lanqi immediately understood what she was talking about. Shu Yue watched the woman's reaction in the mirror. Wu Lanqi fell silent for a second, her expression touched with faint grief. Guilt gnawed on Shu Yue's insides. Wu Lanqi treated her like a real daughter, yet here she was keeping things from her. But there was no way she would tell her what she really saw in her dream, or how she lost control and stabbed Chen Xue with her own sword.
Shu Yue already lost Chen Xue, and she thought she had lost Wu Lanqi too because of that tragedy. She couldn't lose her now just because of a dream. She didn't want to lose her.
"Are you still blaming yourself?" Wu Lanqi asked as she picked up the plum blossom hairpin.
Shu Yue blinked. "Mother?"
"I told you I'm your mother," Wu Lanqi said with a smile. "You might not speak of your troubles, but I sense them. I know that you still feel guilty about what happened." She put the hairpin into Shu Yue's hair and then touched her cheek, her eyes burning with motherly warmth. "I never blamed you for her death, so you shouldn't either."
Shu Yue lowered her eyes and blinked to hold back tears.
Wu Lanqi patted her cheek before withdrawing her hand. "Do you still remember the box I asked you to keep?"
The guilt Shu Yue was feeling melted away as anger stirred within her. Of course, she remembered. Wu Lanqi received a box from the Crown Prince the day after Chen Xue's death, containing money and valuable items as compensation. What was even worse was that neither the Crown Prince nor the hunters involved in the tragedy offered an apology.
Wu Lanqi was right. Shu Yue shouldn't blame herself. If anyone was to blame, it was the Crown Prince. Not only was he the cause of Chen Xue's death, but also the suffering of most demi-humans.
He was also the reason Shu Yue never met her biological mother.
"The Crown Prince..." Shu Yue's face darkened into a scowl.
They never used a single item from the box because Shu Yue would throw them back in his face. They didn't want his money or expensive jewelry. What they wanted--what Shu Yue wanted, was his head.
Wu Lanqi stroked her head and said with a smile, "You're just like your mother. Jinghua used to blame herself for things she couldn't control. But what I admired most about her is that she never loses sight of her goals. Just like you."
A genuine smile graced Shu Yue's mouth as she thought about a mother she had never seen. Although she never met her, it felt like she did because Wu Lanqi told her many things about her mother. Jinghua and Wu Lanqi were good friends who treated each other like sisters, just like Shu Yue and Chen Xue.
"You might not remember it," Wu Lanqi continued, "but you actually met your mother already."
Shu Yue Yue looked at her, surprised.
"You were still too young at the time, but she came to see you often," Wu Lanqi comforted. "She loved you so much."
Jinghua was a demi-human and servant to the clan leader, Shu Liang. But a romantic relationship with a demi-human was forbidden in the empire, especially if the human involved was of high status. It was also a disgrace. Which was why they hid their relationship. Shu Liang's involvement with Jinghua prompted him to abolish demi-human slavery in the Ophiuchus Clan, and this was around the time Jinghua became pregnant with Shu Yue.
However, due to their complicated relationship and the current state of the Ophiuchus Clan, they were forced to hand Shu Yue over to Wu Lanqi and change her identity to hide the existence of the clan's heir.
But everything changed when the young Crown Prince took an interest in Jinghua and took her to his court for the simple reason that he'd never had a serpent demi-human slave before. Shu Yue was three years old at that time. Not long after that, Jinghua was accused of harming the young Crown Prince and killed as a punishment.
He took my mother and Xue from me. I will not rest until I get my revenge.
"All right," Wu Lanqi said. "Now go and let Xiao Ran know that you're okay now. I'm sure that man is still worried sick about you."
That reminded Shu Yue. "Mother, what time did you see Xiao Ran leave my room?"
"Two hours ago, just before the sun rose."
"What?" Shu Yue breathed, shocked.
From what she knew, it was around three early in the morning when she woke up. That meant Xiao Ran stayed with her for over two hours. But did he keep playing the guqin or did he simply watch her sleep?
"I told him to go back to his room once I'm asleep," Shu Yue mumbled.
Wu Lanqi chuckled. "You know that man. He always wants to make sure you're fine. He's that...devoted to you."
Shu Yue sighed. Just then, someone rapped on the door, followed by a familiar voice.
"Young Mistress?"
"Come in," Shu Yue said.
Xiao Ran opened the door. When he saw Wu Lanqi, he cupped his fists to pay his obeisance and greeted her. "Madam."
Wu Lanqi nodded at him with a smile, then said to Shu Yue, "We'll have our breakfast in a few minutes, so please come to the kitchen. You too, Xiao Ran. I'm not taking a no today." Without waiting for Xiao Ran's response, Wu Lanqi exited the room, leaving both of them alone.
Xiao Ran just stood there dumbfounded. Shu Yue couldn't help but chuckle at his expression. He usually ate after they had, and he always politely declined their invitation every time they asked him to eat with them. As a servant, he didn't want to overstep his boundaries, and Shu Yue never forced him to.
"I guess you're eating with us today," Shu Yue said, a spark of amusement flickered in her eyes.
Xiao Ran bowed his head. "Madam and Young Mistress are too kind. I'm merely a servant."
Shu Yue smiled at him and stood up. "Come here."
As obedient as ever, Xiao Ran stepped toward her, and Shu Yue reached out and stroked his head. Xiao Ran lowered his head as if asking her to keep going, a small smile on his lips.
"You've been with us for a long time now, Xiao Ran. You're not merely a servant. You're my friend, my companion...and my family."
Xiao Ran spoke in a very quiet voice. "I'm greatly honored for Young Mistress to treat me like this."
Shu Yue ruffled his fluffy white fox ear before pulling back her hand. "So," she said, the tone of her voice changed subtly, becoming businesslike, "did you ensure that the guest from tomorrow will return today?"
"Yes, Young Mistress. The boy truly admired Sir Zhang. He personally asked to meet Sir Zhang here today, and Sir Zhang did not refuse him."
Nodding with satisfaction, Shu Yue turned around, stepped up to her bed, and sat down. "Teacher will probably arrive later than the guest we are expecting. I guess that works better." She looked at Xiao Ran and said in a slightly firm voice, "Mother told me you left my room two hours ago. I'm pretty sure it didn't take me an hour or two to fall asleep last night. Why did you stay longer than necessary?"
Xiao Ran immediately dropped to his knees, head bowed. "Forgive me, Young Mistress. I'm just worried about you. I want to make sure you sleep well before I leave. But if that upsets you, please punish me."
Sighing, Shu Yue stood up and strode toward him. "You have not upset me. Please rise."
Looking up at her, Xiao Ran rose to his feet.
"I'm not mad at you," Shu Yue said softly. "I'm actually grateful to you. Thank you for comforting me, Xiao Ran."
"It's my pleasure to be of use to you, master."
Shu Yue gave him a gentle smile and headed toward the door. "All right. Let's go to the kitchen and have some breakfast before our guests arrive. I don't want any interruptions while I eat."
The breakfast went well. Xiao Ran was uncomfortable at first, but he eventually became at ease. He kept asking permission before taking food even after Shu Yue reminded him he didn't have to. But he seemed happy to be eating with them, despite keeping a neutral expression the whole time.
After eating, Shu Yue returned to her room and skimmed the book containing the complete Claw of the Eternal Beast. She didn't know much about this sword art, so she couldn't say whether it was real or not. Perhaps his father would know.
Not long after, Xiao Ran knocked on her door and entered her room with her permission. With a stoic expression back on his face, Shu Yue already knew what he was going to say even before he spoke.
"The old man is here, Young Mistress, and the boy is with him."
A wicked smile appeared on Shu Yue's face. "Well, let's not make the guests wait too long. Please bring them here."
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