The moon was full, morning about to break. A ningen village lay a waste in flames. Lifeless bodies scatter all over the bloody ground. Not a living soul in sight. I made my way through the carnage, the blood still warm under my bare feet. I was searching for something, though I know not what it is. I finally found it, or shall I say, him. I stopped on my tracks when I saw him. He had long silvery hair which flowed around him to his waist, a green band holding it in place. A black sign on his cheek and neck. His green eyes show not a glint of emotion. They were dead, his eyes. Not the way I remembered them. There he stood, looking at his handy work, when a bald youki approached him. 

"Master," said the yuuki, "All the villagers are dead. There is not a soul in sight."

Raizen did not reply. He simple raised his hand, sending the yuuki away. The other left without another word. As long as he was gone, Raizen fell on his knees, tears streaming down his cheeks. I ran to him, despite all the times he hurt me. I wanted to hold him, to comfort him, but as I placed my arms around him, I passed through and stumbled to the ground.

"Yume...Only a dream..." I thought.

"Fera..." said Raizen between sobs, "How could you leave me?"

Those words touched me. Tears of sorrow filled my eyes as I watched him crying miserably on the ground.

"It was all my fault." he continued, "I was such a fool..."

"Raizen," I try to call to him. He rose to his feet and brushed the tears away from his eyes. He then went on his way. Standing proud and tall as always. No mercy. No weaknesses. He went straight past me, not knowing that I was there, weeping for him.

"Raizen..." I cried after him. "I still love you."

I woke up feeling someone tickling me, I opened my eyes and saw Jinsei holding a long white feather over my nose.

"Rise and shine, Fera!" she said cheerfully, "Kudari is waiting for you outside!" she was too sunny to notice the big tear roll down my cheek as I tried to wipe it away.

"Um..." I said, rubbing my eyes, "I don't feel like going to the ningenkai right now." I confessed, "Can you tell him to go on without me?"

"Why? Aren't you feeling okay?" she asked, suddenly full of concern.

"No, I'm fine, just not in a good mood."

"Okay, I'll tell him to go ahead." With a smile, Jinsei left the room.

As soon as she left, I jumped out of bed and looked for Izumi, I knew she would have a good advice ready for me. I saw her underneath the ancient tree's shade, watching the children play around in the garden. She saw me coming and welcomed me with a smile. I smiled back and sat myself on one of the tree's thick roots, resting my head upon her shoulder.

"You look troubled, child," she said, reading my expression, "would you like to tell me about it?"

"Izumi," said I, "It's...Raizen..." Upon the mention of his name, tears suddenly flowed down my cheeks. I tried to stop them with no avail, it was as if they had a mind of their own.

"What about him?" she asked, though something told me she knew what I was about to say even before I think of it.

I told her all about the dream. The burned village, the dead ningen and raizen crying for me. She listened to me patiently as I cried, trying hard to tell it straight. When I finished my story, she placed her arms around me in a tight embrace.

"Hush, child, it's alright. I know how you feel." she pulled me back and looked me straight in the eye. "I once fell in love as well. He was also a very powerful youki, and we loved each other dearly."

"But...where is he now?" I asked between sobs.

"He is here in my heart." I looked at Izumi with a questioning look in my eyes.

"We grew up together in a village in Makai." she explained, "I, the child of the village chief and he from the neighboring clan. We promised each other that we would never be apart, but when I turned 16, the messengers of the gods sent for me and told my parents that I was chosen to guard the temple as the gods went to their slumber."

"But why you?" I asked. Izumi smiled back.

"Menears are classified as deities of the highest rank. That's why we are the ones assigned to watch over the temple.

"But what about the one you loved?"

"At first I didn't want to leave him, and he didn't want me to go. But the will of the gods are too strong. No one could ever go against it." I looked at Izumi. A hint of sadness washed over her face for a moment. "I had no choice but to leave." she continued.

"What happened to him then?" I asked.

"I learned that he disappeared and was never heard of again."

"I'm sorry," I said. "I never should have asked you about it."

"No, it is alright, looking back at out mistakes makes us stronger."

"What do you mean, Izumi?"

"There is nothing stronger than love, Fera." she said, looking straight at me, "As long as your love is true, there is no being that can tell you what you have to do. All you have to follow is your heart. It knows what is best for you."

"Izumi..." a new wave of tears flowed down my face.

"Do you love Raizen, child?" she asked.

"Yes..." I cried, "More than anything in this world or any other world!"

"All we can give you here is a family. We can give you support, strength and brotherly love, but only one person could give you what you truly need."

Izumi raised her hand as an image of Raizen appeared before us. His eyes were brimming with tears.

"He's been this way ever since you left," said Izumi, "He was foolish to think that he could hide his true feelings by hurting you. He was too proud to admit that he loved you too much to consider you as his only weakness. Now, he found out too late that it is the truth." I reached out to the hologram, but the image disappeared with my touch.

"Izumi," I said with a sob, "I miss him so much..."

"Do you wish to be with him?"

"Yes"

"Even if he would hurt you all over again?"

"Yes."

"Then it is your choice. You are free to leave when you wish to."

"You sure you really want to leave?" asked Kudari for the nth time as he looked at me, begging.

"Hai, Kudari, but don't worry, I could never forget you guys." I gave him a big hug and squeezed tight. "I promise to visit you as much as possible."

"You'd better, or we'll be the once to visit you!" said Jinsei, looking teary-eyed.

"Take care of yourself now, Fera," said Shiori "Make sure you take plenty of rest, and tell us if you need any thing." she gave me a hug. "We'll miss you so much..."

"I'll miss you too, mina..." I tried hard to keep the tears from falling, but my happiness knew no bounds.

"Oh, c'mon, this is no time to cry," said Kudari as he rustled my hair. "You take care of yourself now, 'ya hear?"

"...okay..." I answered with a sniff.

"And if that jerk ever hurts you again..." he added, forming a fist

"Just tell us," finished Jinsei, "We'll take care of him!"

I laughed at their remarks, more tears flowing down my cheeks. I gave them a final hug as Izumi called me from behind.

"Fera, come now child." said the phantom of the night. She wore the same robe she had on when I first saw her.

"Are you sure you really want to go, Fera?" Kudari asked once again, not letting go.

"Yes, I love Raizen, and he loves me too." I said.

"But if he hurts you again..."

"He won't hurt me again, I know he never will." I reassured them.

I gave them all a kiss goodbye and stood by Izumi's side. I looked back one last time. My family. My rightful place. But my heart is with Raizen, and it is with him that I should stay. It's been 15 years. 15 long years away from him and I couldn't wait to see him again.

"Are you ready, Fera?" asked Izumi, holding my hand.

"Hai. Let's go."

I watched my family as I watched them fade away, replaced by a horrible scene. I recognized the place as the brook where I last saw Raizen, but the surroundings have changed. What little was left of the flowing water was turned to blood as countless decapitated bodies of ningen and youki scattered everywhere. The scent of decaying flesh greeted my senses and made me gag.

"My gods...what happened here, Izumi?" I asked my companion.

"This is the aftermath of a great battle." she replied. "Ever since you left, Mayef rebelled against Raizen. Raizen went from one village to another, killing all those who would oppose him.

"But...why?"

"He wants to prove to himself that he could live without any of you."

"Mayef...and me?"

"Yes. These are the remains of those who would dare challenge him in

his domain."

"Then Mayef..."

"Don't you worry, child, Mayef has his own domain now, it is Raizen who has been trying to bring him down."

"What do you mean, Izumi? Why would Raizen try to beat Mayef?" Izumi smiled. She took a couple of steps towards the pool of blood.

"Mayef is more than he seems to be." she said, "You see, not all the gods have fallen asleep. Have you ever wondered why the gods slept in the first place?"

"Yes..."

"It is because the highest God forbade them to mingle with the lives of youki and humans. Because of this, they got bored and decided to past time by hibernating. They shall be awakened when the time of the great judgment arrives."

"Uh-huh..." I said, now familiar with the stoey.

"But you see, not all of them had nothing to do. Long ago, some of the gods lived within the kingdoms of strong youki and assists them in their life and needs. Mayef was one of them, although he could be classified as a higher god. He used to be the head of the Mozoku tribe's sooth sayers, and have been with the tribe longer than anyone could remember. Some even said that he is their ancestor."

"oh..." I said, "I remember Mayef telling me once that he promised Raizen's father to take care of him."

"Hai," said Izumi, "that's why he couldn't leave him, nor hurt him, but now that he had put the vow aside..."

"That means he could fight Raizen."

"Not exactly, for he is bounded by the gods' law. All he could do is protect himself."

I was silent for a while as I remembered the night I ran away. Raizen and Mayef have been fighting, and Raizen seemed to be scared of him. Could it be possible for Mayef to defeat Raizen in combat and eventually kill him?"

"Child, it is time for me to leave." said Izumi, breaking my chain of thought.

"Ah...of course...Arigatou, Izumi...for everything." I flung my arms around Izumi as a new wave of tears washed over me. "I shall never forget you..."

"We shall never forget you too." she said "Cry no more, soon you shall be with the one you love." She pulled me closer and kissed the golden sign upon my forehead. "Remember child," she said, looking me straight in the eye, "We are one family, and will always stay that way. The temple of the gods will always be your home. You can return to us anytime you wish."

"Don't worry, Izumi, I'll be fine...Sayonara..." I said as I took the basket Shiori gave me, "No...Jaa! We'll meet again soon!"

I waved goodbye at her, running for the direction of Raizen's domain. Everything seemed to be familiar, yet so different. The place I once knew as home was turned into a shallow cemetery, yet the landmarks were all there; the brook where I used to play with my friends, the clearing which was my secret hideout, and the old tree trunk, now a decaying log, where my Raizen and I used to meet.

The sudden struck of lightning made me jump. It illuminated the dark surroundings, the gothic castle before me. Everything seemed so gloomy, so lonely. So dead.

"Raizen..." I said with a smile, "I'm home."

"Raizen! Raizen!" I cried at the top of my voice, "Raizen, I'm home!"

I ran through the great gates and across the courtyards. Raizen's men stared at me wide eyed, some of which I recognized from years past.

"Minna-san! Can you tell me where Raizen is? Onegai shimasu?!?" I asked with a beaming smile.

"Ah...Raizen-sama..." stammered one of the bald yuuki, blushing at me. "He's in the ningenkai!" he finally blurted out.

"Domo!" I said, running back to where I came from. "Raizen!" I said to myself, "I can't wait to see you again!"

It took me quite a while until I finally found his where-abouts. One of his trusted soldiers pointed out a small village to me. The village was surrounded by a thick forest. It was reduced to ashes. In the middle of the forest, there was a small hut belonging to ningen witch, from what I've heard. I went on my way skipping merrily. I thought of ways to surprise my beloved, and of how he would react when he sees me. I was still thinking of him when I reached the clearing.

In the clearing was a hut, beside it stood a ningen. A woman dressed all in black. Her kimono was old but well kept. She was not old, but not too young, with pale skin and dark black hair flowing down her waist. She stood there feeding several birds with seed from a small basin. I watched her slowly as she scattered more seeds on the ground.

I was about to approach her when a familiar face emerged from within the small hut. It was Raizen, looking the same way he did 15 years ago. Around his chest were bandages which looked well kept. My heart skipped a beat as I stood there, unable to move from the sudden happiness that filled me. I finally found my strength and was about to run to him when he approached the ningen and placed his arms around her.

"Hey, why didn't you wake me up?" he asked as he kissed the ningen tenderly on the cheek.

"You looked so peaceful when you're asleep. It's rather a rare sight." she replied without even looking at him.

I watched them. I watched as Raizen gently turned the human around to meet his gaze. I stared as they looked at each other's eyes and got lost in a passionate kiss. I watched...as I felt the last reason for living slip away from my heart...as my wretched life crumbled all around me.

I ran away from that scene. From the most despicable torture Raizen has even done to me. I ran through the thick woods, blinded by the tears. I slipped several times, my bare feet bleeding from the thorns on the forest ground. I didn't feel anything. Not my bleeding feet, not my bruised body, not my torn flesh. The pain in my heart drowned them all. I was still running when I slipped once more and felt myself falling fast.

"Good." I thought to myself. "I hope I die and forget about this wretched existence. Any hell is better than this!"

Suddenly, two strong arms suddenly caught me and cradled me in a warm embrace. Fingers wiped away the tears and dirt from my face, caressing my lips, then a warm face touched mine. Warm tears of joy trickled down and dripped on my cheeks.

"Fera..." he said, "It's been so long..."

"Mayef?" I said between sobs.

I opened my eyes and looked up at the gentle face. The familiar face that was always smiling at me. Tears flowed in torrents from his eyes, his hair stuck on his wet tear-stricken face. He smiled down at me. The same smile that always made me feel better. I had no idea how much I missed that smile. I smiled back at him and gave him a tight hug. He hugged me back as I cried in his arms, as I cried all my pain away.

"Come, let me show you around..." said Mayef excitedly, "Here's the main hall, back there is the dining room, and up stairs is the library, the guest rooms, and the den is over there...oh, and we have a treasury room too..."

"It's all so beautiful..." I said as I stepped inside Mayef's castle. Everything looked so bright and lovely.

"You like it?" he asked with a shy smile.

"I love it, Mayef."

"I did all of this for you." he said, looking down.

"Hontoni? Arigatou Mayef!" I tried to smile, but it immediately faded away.

"Is there something wrong? Do you wish for something else?" he asked with concern, "I could ask my men to bring it for you."

"Ie, Mayef, this is perfect...It's just that..."

"Forget him, Fera." he said, reading my mind.

"Gomen ne...I just..." I cut off what I was about to say. I didn't want to hurt Mayef's feelings, but...

"It's okay, Fera," said he, smiling sadly at me "I do not expect you to love me in return...It's enough that I have you here with me. That I have the privilege of serving you and making you happy."

He took my hand into his and knelt before me. I was startled by this and tried to stop him, but he simply kissed my hand.

"Your smile is enough for me, Fera. It is worth all the treasures I could ever own."

"Mayef..." I said as I knelt beside him and snuggled in his chest.

"Daijoubu..." he replied soothingly. "I'll take care of you, Fera. Forever. I love you."

I looked up at him. At the sad eyes that have always watched over me. At the soft red lips that always had a gentle smile ready to greet me. At the man or youki or god who loves me. He looked back and leaned over to give me a kiss. I closed my eyes as his lips touched mine...It was Raizen's face that I saw. Him and that ningen woman. I opened them again as I felt him pull away. He smiled down at me. Mayef...the gentle one with the sad smiling eyes...if only I could love you too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i