Sleep was one of the many things that hadn't been the same since Bucky returned to the land of the living. This had little to do with Thanos's snap, however, and everything to do with the fact that his wife was not his wife anymore, but instead was with his best friend.

As Bucky tossed and turned through the night, he was haunted by the memories of what used to be, the woman that was once his wife. Now, she was different—still Marlena, but not clumsy, innocent Marlena like the one he'd met in the museum all those years before. Time treated her cruelly, she'd said far too many goodbyes and he feared that would always be her life now.

However, in such a short period of time, she'd been reunited with her children, her brother, her mother, and now her father—the people who would always remain the most important to her. Bucky used to feel like he, too, fell into this category, but now he was unsure. He knew Marlena said she loved him and always would, but as he lay staring up at the ceiling, his eyes glazed over, he couldn't help but feel angry. He felt a great torment inside. If it weren't for his children, and he hated to think this, he felt as if maybe being brought back was simply a mistake.

He shut his eyes, and there she stood. Marlena Claire—soon to be Marlena Barnes. Her wedding dress was beautiful and elegant, just like her. Her fair skin seemed to sparkle under the sunlight pouring in through the church windows. The smile on her face spread like honey on bread, sweet and smooth. His heart ached and his stomach twisted. God, he loved this girl.

His knees were ready to buckle at the altar, but the look in her eyes was what kept him standing. With every step she took down that church aisle, he was sure his heart would come right out of his chest. But it didn't. Everything was blurry through his tear-filled eyes, but as soon as he felt her hand take his, he knew in that moment that he was not in the church with everyone watching them. With her he was simply home.

Bucky opened his eyes again. Now Marlena was gone, and he was met with nothing but the soft glow from the light post outside his bedroom window. If only it was as easy as imagining. If only he could close his eyes and actually be taken back in time to that very moment. Even if it lead to the same fate it already had, he would relive it all over again just to have her be his for a second longer. It was in that moment that Bucky realized, Marlena could tell him she loved him—she could say she always would—but he would never be the one to hold her again. Not in the way he once had. He could no longer go to sleep at night with the comfort of knowing he was the center of her world. He wasn't even close.

Marlena had lost a lot of people in life, but now, so suddenly, many of them had been brought back and he was still alone. All Bucky truly had left of her were Charlie and Jay, and though they were the most precious people in the world to him, they were also a painful reminder of the life that was stolen from him when Thanos pressed his fingers together. He felt so small in the world knowing that the happiness he'd been chasing for years had been ripped away from him with the snap of a stranger's fingers.

Bucky turned on his side, his eyes now resting on the bedroom door. He thought about how Marlena would not be the one coming through it anymore. He thought about how even the home where Marlena and he used to live together was also merely a memory. He was left with nothing, and this thought was agonizing.

Bucky choked back tears. A lot had happened since he'd returned, and he hadn't had much time to think everything through, let alone enough time to allow the new reality of his life to settle in. He wanted to be so happy for Marlena—for the life she was living. He knew that if he hadn't been brought into the picture just as she was beginning to figure her life out, this would have happened for her a lot sooner. She would have become this incredibly intelligent and successful woman without all the powers, complications, and goodbyes. But even this thought was not something he wished had happened, because the person she would have ended up with would not have been Steve. And though it broke his heart to see Steve and Marlena together, he at least knew and trusted with all his being that Steve was good for her.

Bucky rolled over on his opposite side, this time wiping away a tear that managed to escape. He felt like he'd been punched in the chest; it was difficult for him to even inhale. He closed his eyes again, hoping that sleep would soon overcome him and the pain he felt, as he was equally as tired as he was hurting. But no, his mind was unable to let him rest. Instead it began racing with thoughts of his sweet Marlena and his best friend. Would he always tell her he loved her before turning in for the night? Would he let her wake up without any breakfast or a kiss on the forehead? Would he help with the twins? Bucky loved Steve, but he couldn't shake the jealous feeling. Would he appreciate the way his hand gripped the curve of her waist like it was meant to be there? Would he spend time just admiring her if he woke up before her the next morning? Bucky was nearly gasping for breath, and it felt like the weight on his chest was comparable to a freight car.

It was then that Bucky heard the lightest tap at his bedroom door. He tried to catch his breath and rid his face of any sign of sadness. He knew who it was before she even entered, but he asked anyways.

"Who is it?" His voice was raspy as he sat up.

Charlie gently pushed the door open. The light from the hallway poured in behind her as she approached his bedside. He could see the light reflect on the tiniest tear threatening to fall from her beautiful eyes, and this was enough to put an end to his panic attack almost immediately.

"Charlie, baby, why are you crying?" He scooped her into his arms and pulled her petite frame onto the bed with him.

Jay decided to stay with Marlena and Steve, so it was just the two of them and Sam.

Charlie sniffled and leaned into her dad's embrace, her tears still brimming in her eyes but not yet spilling over. "Too much thinking."

Bucky pressed his nose to her hair as he held her. She reminded him so much of Marlena, not only in appearance, but in her attitude and mannerisms. She meant so much to him. Bucky thought no one in this world would ever mean more to him than Marlena Claire until the twins were born. Everything they said about having children was true; they were what truly gave him a purpose in life. His kids brought out the good in him and suppressed the bad. He was able to leave behind what Hydra made him into when he was in the presence of Jay and Charlie.

"I know what you mean, kiddo," he whispered against her hair before pulling back to look down at her.

She avoided his gaze like the plague. He knew she did this because if their eyes met, all those tears she was trying so hard to hold in would come bursting out. She was tough, very tough. She wanted her father to see this quality in her more than anyone else, though he was the hardest to hide the truth from.

"Tell me what you're thinking, Charlie. I can't make it better if you don't talk to me." Bucky peered down at her, the lines on his forehead expressing his concern.

Seeing her and Marlena cry were his ultimate weaknesses. Nothing would ever hurt more.

Charlie forced her blue eyes to meet with his own, and just like he predicted, the tears came streaming down her freckled face. "I'm afraid your heart is broken, Daddy, and I don't know how to fix it."

Bucky was always amazed at how intuitive such a young, innocent girl could be. Just like her mother, she was wise beyond her years and it showed in the way she carefully pieced her words together.

He took a deep breath and swallowed, trying to think of how he could possibly talk to his child about how he was feeling. She was intelligent, but she could not possibly understand all of this. Not even he understood it.

Charlie collapsed in his lap, and in that moment she looked even smaller to him. She looked so beaten down by this weight she carried on her shoulders. She knew her father was broken, just like everyone else did. This also made Bucky feel small.

"I won't lie to you, Charlie. I am heartbroken. I wish I wasn't. I wish things were different, but there are things in this world that not even the most powerful people can fix." He wanted to be completely truthful, though he preferred sparing her the details. She was too young to know everything. The facts would just burden her.

She knew enough, though. She knew that her mother and her father would never live under the same roof again. She understood that though they would always be family, they would have to do a lot of things apart from now on. Bucky suddenly felt guilty for not paying more attention to how she might have been feeling. He felt selfish for only thinking of himself the past few days.

Charlie sucked up her tears and choked out some words, but Bucky couldn't make out what she was saying. His own daughter was breaking before him, just like he'd been doing alone. It was then that he realized he was not alone, even if he felt like it. He didn't need Marlena to be whole; Charlie and Jay were more than enough to fill the emptiness he felt inside.

"Not even T'Challa can fix it?" Charlie finally muttered through soft sobs.

"I'm afraid not," Bucky spoke up again with a slight chuckle. He used his thumb to wipe away her flowing tears and this seemed to comfort her.

Charlie frowned, however, and slumped against his chest again. "I wish I was powerful enough, Dad. I would make Mom love you again..." She trailed off and looked up at him.

"What is it, Charlie?" Bucky asked quietly; he could see that she had more to say, but she was bottling it up.

She hesitated before speaking. "But if mom loved you again then she wouldn't love Uncle Steve anymore, and he would be upset. I don't want to make Uncle Steve sad. He told me that he loves Mom more than anything. But you know what, Dad?"

Bucky was puzzled for a moment, but gave up trying to guess what she might say next. Besides, she seemed to be a lot better with her words at the moment. He was still coming down from a full blown panic attack, but just hearing her speak and feeling her small hand hold onto his chest was keeping him away from the edge.

"Uncle Steve said that the one thing he would always have to thank mom for is bringing his best friend back into his life. He said without her help, he might have never seen you again and that would have broken him," Charlie revealed to her heartbroken father. "You and Mom needed each other, Dad, so maybe she's with Uncle Steve now because they need each other this time, huh?"

Her words burned through him like a flame. How was she just this little nine-year old girl, yet compact with so much wisdom? How could she manage to make him open his eyes in ways he never would be able to on his own?

"You know what, kiddo, I think I was wrong." He repositioned her on his lap so that she could see him as he spoke.

She arched a brow. "About what?"

"I think there is one person powerful enough to fix your dad's broken heart."

Charlotte narrowed her eyes, and the corners of her lips turned up into a childlike smirk. "It's Bruce, isn't it?"

Bucky rolled his eyes playfully and pressed a soft kiss to the top of his daughter's head. "It's you, Charlotte Barnes. It will always be you."