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1 YEAR AND 6 MONTHS AFTER DECIMATION

DECEMBER 2022

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Steve pushed his shopping cart around the corner of the supermarket, followed by a very agitated Marlena. This was one of the few outings she actually tagged along for, and he knew that her frustration had little to do with her inability to locate the Star Wars fruit snacks as she claimed, and everything to do with her being uncomfortable back around people, around these strangers that didn't recognize them as anything other than faces in a crowd.

It'd taken so much time for Steve to convince Marlena that she was not betraying her family by taking part in a somewhat mundane life. He was hesitant to bring them up, but when he saw the opportunity fit, he did take time to remind her that Bucky and her children would not want her to live a life in solitude, isolated and unhappy. He knew she would require baby steps, but he hadn't expected it to take over a year for her to do something as simple and quiet as accompany him to get groceries. Nonetheless, he was glad she was there; he hoped it was helping her feel like herself again, even in the slightest.

"I'm not one to usually make assumptions, but I'm pretty sure Thanos snapped all the best snacks out of existence as a punishment for the remaining human population," she huffed, abruptly stopping in the cookies and chips aisle, where she then draped herself over the end of the shopping cart.

Steve let out a chuckle, watching her dramatize even the most miniscule of things just because she would rather not have been dragged along there. He could not stop his eyebrows from raising, though, at the sound of the joke surrounding one of the touchiest subjects there was when it came to their lives. He knew Marlena better than to think she actually found herself humorous; when she was uncomfortable she tended to blurt out rather inappropriate and obscure words. It was just her way of deflecting how she was really feeling, and he never once struggled to see through that part of her.

Steve propped his elbows up on the handlebars of the shopping cart, causing the end that Marlena leaned on to rise, bumping her chin. She glared at him for a moment, rubbing her jawline to make the pain pass.

"Keep complaining and I'll turn this shopping cart around, Claire," Steve teased as he resumed their stroll, looking back over his shoulder as Marlena trudged along behind.

"One could only hope for so much," Marlena muttered to herself, their eyes meeting briefly as he shot her a look.

It'd taken a long time for her to reach this point, this state of mind where she could actually crack a joke once in a while. Marlena had been empty for so long, so broken and shut off from the real world, that now Steve was her only link to it. If she didn't have him, she was sure she would never have regained the strength to go out and pretend like her life was anything but average. All the people that passed by them in the grocery store seemed so fake; she was sure they'd lost people after the snap, too, but they seemed so unphased. She wondered how easy it was for them to just continue on, to live in a world where death was inevitable for every last one of them.

"You better pick up the pace, Mar, or we aren't going to make it there in time," Steve spoke up again as he lead their half-full cart towards the check-out.

Marlena cocked her head sideways, her long ponytail swaying behind her like a heavy weight, "Make it where in time?"

Steve offered her a small smile over his shoulder as the two began digging into the basket and placing their items onto the conveyor belt. Though he didn't dare spoil the surprise, he couldn't help but allow his smile to grow larger.

"Hello," Marlena greeted the cashier, forcing a smile on her face. Communication was something she struggled with after spending a year cooped up in Steve's apartment. She'd grown used to only having to talk to Steve—and at times, a very friendly pizza delivery guy that brought her happiness in the form of an extra large, extra cheesy pizza. Interaction with anyone else only turned her face red and caused her heart to race; it was something the old Marlena never would've put much thought into. It only made her feel more and more unlike herself as time passed by.

The cashier gave Marlena an equally forced smile, along with slightly concerned eyes, as the petite girl loudly placed a large bottle of wine on the conveyor belt. She and Marlena stared at each other for a moment, and Marlena blinked awkwardly as the wine bottle moved like molasses towards the scanner.

Steve nearly hurled himself across the shopping cart, snatching the bottle of wine before the cashier could even put a hand on it, "I think we have plenty of that back at the house, Mar."

Marlena remained facing the cashier, but gave Steve a sideways glance with a thin-lipped smile, "Yeah I kind of drank it."

Deep lines formed on Steve's forehead as he lowered the wine bottle to his side; the cashier watched the two interact, a subdued laugh threatening to bubble up out of her throat.

"Marlena, you drank that entire bottle of Merlot alone? That was nearly fifty years old. I was saving it." He was genuinely curious as to when she managed to sneak past him; he'd struggled to keep the girl out of a bottle for some time now. One night when they were especially saddened, he poured glasses for the two of them. A few glasses later and Marlena was more relaxed and carefree than she had been in a while. It sort of started a downward spiral for her, and Steve did not want her to become that person. He tried his hardest to keep her sober, as he knew she wasn't helping herself by drowning her sorrows in the drink.

Marlena nearly choked on his words and her cheeks turned a deep shade of red as she felt the cashier's eyes still on her, "I drank it all, okay? I'm sorry."

"Even the Chardonnay?" Steve tightened his grip on the bottle.

She avoided his eyes as she uncovered another previously hidden bottle of Woodford Reserve from within the cart, nearly causing him to flip his lid.

"Yes, even the Chardonnay, alright? And the Pinot Noir, Malbec, whatever you had in there...it's long gone now, Rogers. I haven't seen you touch a drink since that one night, okay, I didn't think you'd miss it." Marlena shrugged, though his scolding her in public was more than enough embarrassment for one day.

Steve gave up; there was no taking any of it back and he was definitely not there to parent her. Yes, he would always look out for her, but he couldn't control every little thing she did, even if he knew she was on the brink of taking a path he knew she'd one day regret. If this was how she was handling things now, then he wasn't fighting it, at least not in the middle of the grocery store with watchful eyes. All he ever did was try to lay low, and this scene was not necessarily aiding that at all.

Soon enough the two settled their dispute, or at least pretended to. They exited the store with their bags, one of which contained the bottle of wine Marlena managed to convince Steve to keep. The bourbon, on the other hand, was not something Steve was allowing in his home. He knew Marlena was tough, but he knew not even she had the tolerance for that.

As the pair climbed into Steve's SUV after loading in the groceries, Marlena took no time at all in cranking up the radio as if to avoid further conversation on her recent drinking habits. She knew it wasn't exactly the best way to handle her emotions, but seeing as her powers were on an indefinite hiatus, she didn't see an issue in avoiding mind-altering liquid if it helped her feel less. When she was with Steve, she was generally okay, but when he disappeared on her, she had no one to turn to—no one to distract her. It was when she was left alone with her thoughts that left her desperate to shut it all down.

Steve sighed and reached out, turning the volume down as he pulled out of the lot onto the main road. Shopping in the quieter part of the city had its benefits, but the long drive that lay ahead would not be a pleasant one as long as the two were upset.

"You never let me tell you where it is I'm taking you," Steve broke the silence, glancing over at her where she sat curled up in the passenger seat, her knees pulled flush against her chest.

Marlena chewed on her fingernails absent-mindedly as she watched the world beyond the car window pass by in a blur. Her lack of response was not because she was ignoring Steve, and he knew this. He could always tell when she was off in a daze, as it happened to her more frequently than not. When she became frustrated or annoyed, she would just distance herself from the present. He knew Marlena long enough to notice the twitch at the corner of her eye and the rosiness of her cheeks when she was lost in thought.

"Mar?" He tried again, his voice softer than before. All he wanted was for her to hear him, for her to be interested in this one thing. Steve had spent weeks and weeks planning this. He knew if he could just get her out of the house long enough, maybe she would be open to trying.

The second time around was more successful and Marlena managed to push her thoughts aside; the flashing images of the Halloween party held at the Avengers's tower years ago were forced right out of her brain before she could recall the horrific events that had become of it just hours into it. For this, she was more than thankful. Recalling that night, the death of her old friend Hallie, the fear of watching Bucky take a bullet to save her life—it was all too much for her to be thinking of right now. She just didn't seem to have control over where her mind went sometimes. The past seemed to be all she could think of, because there was no longer a framework for the future residing in her mind. Marlena never knew what the next day would bring, but she knew what it would not, and that was any piece of her old life back.

"I'm sorry for how I've been acting lately," Marlena whispered, her eyes transitioning from the passenger mirror to the windshield. She wasn't sure if she wanted to look over at Steve, out of fear that looking at him would bring back more thoughts regarding the Halloween memory. After all, it was Steve who'd pulled her to safety that night—away from Bucky's bleeding body. Her heart wrenched as the memory crossed her mind without the sight of him even triggering it.

Steve could see that she was now far more affected by whatever memory had crossed her mind rather than their foolish altercation in the grocery store.

"Marlena, I only react the way I do because I care about you," he sighed, turning as the stoplight they'd arrived to seconds ago turned green.

Marlena finally looked over at him, for only a brief moment. It was enough. She closed her eyes and put a hand to her forehead as she recalled the memories all so clearly.

Halloween night had been one of the best she had during her time in the tower. She'd spent the weeks leading up to it living in the tower learning to control her abilities, being poked and prodded by Tony Stark and Bruce Banner as the two tried to understand every aspect of what Hydra had done to her. Halloween had come and it was the one night of the year where she could pretend that she wasn't herself, and she was so excited. She remembered surprising Bucky by dressing up in clothes identical to those he'd adorned back as a soldier in the forties. Even Steve was surprised to see who Tony had chosen for her to pose as for the night.

And then it all came crashing down. A bomb went off. People screamed. Smoke clouded the room. Steve grabbed onto her and the two slammed into the floor. He covered her entire body with his own as debris flew overhead, threatening to pierce through them at any second.

Marlena opened her eyes again and looked over the console at Steve where he sat driving still, great concern washing over him as he took notice of the tears forming in her eyes.

He was uncertain of the memory she was having trouble keeping at bay, but he was sure of one thing—it was tearing her apart from the inside. He knew better now than to pry; he hadn't done so in a long while. If Marlena needed to talk to him about it, she would. If she chose to keep it to herself, he would grant her that privacy. She'd been through so much and he was well aware that he was only going to help her if she let him in.

It pained him deeply to look into those fearful eyes of hers. Though she'd grown stand-offish ever since the snap, she still seemed to have no issue crying in front of him, and for that he was grateful. She could bottle up all the words she wanted, but he never wanted her to cry alone. He never wanted her to feel the need to be that reserved when around him. Things had changed greatly over the years, but one thing remained true, and that was the fact that Steve would always be her shoulder to cry on if she needed that from him. It'd been a long while since she had, but he felt confident that she knew the offer still stood.

Steve reached his hand across the console and let it rest comfortingly on her kneecap, in the most innocent of ways. He just wanted her to physically feel that she was not alone in any of this. Even if the words were not something that came easily to her anymore, and even if she could not communicate through a simple touch without her abilities now, he wanted her to still have some sort of connection to him. They'd lost so much, but they never lost one another, not really.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, Mar," he promised her, giving her knee a reassuring squeeze.

Marlena looked down at his hand on her knee as the first of many tears dripped down her reddened cheeks. She didn't say a word, but she nodded understandingly. She knew Steve was the only reason she hadn't given it all up; he was the glue holding her broken bits together. Even if she struggled to show him gratitude after all the horrible things that occurred in their lives, she hoped he understood how thankful she was to still have him in her life.

Marlena placed her hand upon his as she faced the window again, watching as heavy storm clouds above threatened to pour down on them. The weather always seemed to correspond with her emotions; they hadn't seen the sunshine in what felt like months. All it ever did was rain, leaving the city damp and solemn. It comforted her to know that though human connection was something she struggled with, at least the sky remained one thing she could always look to when she was feeling overwhelmed with an emotion that she could not put into words.

"Just take me home, Steve," she pleaded in a whisper, the crack of her voice letting Steve know that she was not mentally prepared for the surprise he had worked so hard on.

Marlena's words truly tugged at his heartstrings. He flipped the car's blinker on in a second and did a U-turn in the road, heading the opposite direction of the Brooklyn Bridge that would have lead them into Manhattan.

And if it hadn't been the fact that this was the first and only time thus far Marlena Claire had referred to his apartment, or anyplace, as 'home' after the snap, maybe he would have felt disappointed that his surprise would have to wait. Just one little word and Steve had no hesitation at all in abandoning his plan to take Marlena to the American Museum of Natural History. Prior to that one simple moment, he'd been very eager to show her the newest exhibit in the Rose Center for Earth and Space hall. Within it, heroes like Marlena Claire, Carol Danvers, and Wanda Maximoff had been brought to light as they were in possession of powers thrust upon them from a world beyond their own. Scientists, among others, had been fascinated with the girls ever since they'd first joined the Avengers, and Steve visited several times during the process of construction only to see countless little girls staring up at the coming exhibit in pure admiration and amazement.

Steve originally thought it would bring Marlena right back to the feeling she used to have when she would visit the Smithsonian in DC, where she, too, once looked to the Howling Commandos in a way that no other bystander could ever understand. He thought that this might help her move forward, like it might help her see the positive impact she had on the world. There once was a time she saw herself as a threat—a ticking time bomb to be kept hidden away for the sake of mankind's safety. Now, despite the wars that wreaked havoc on their Earth, children would grow up in a world where superhumans like Marlena Claire were who they would look to for guidance, for safety.

There was that small part of Steve, though, that felt maybe this was for the best. Maybe Marlena was not ready to face who she once was, let alone stand before an exhibit dedicated to her and someone she would likely never see again. Wanda vanished, just as many others had when Thanos snapped. Marlena hadn't really spoken her name since, and while Steve thought perhaps seeing the world pay homage to her beloved cousin in some way would help her move forward, now he was not so sure.

"Let's get you home then," Steve breathed out, pulling away from her knee and returning to the wheel. And though Steve was reluctant to let his mind wander where it did, he couldn't help but wonder if the lingering gaze Marlena continued to hold on his hand long after it'd left her own was because maybe she wished he hadn't pulled it away in the first place.