The autumn air was cool. The evening breeze that whipped through Marlena's brunette locks was comforting, but not comforting enough. Through the absence of her children, the funerals she never imagined she'd have to get through, and the thought of Bucky hating her, Marlena felt anything but comfort.

Marlena had been released from the hospital six days ago, and since then she'd attended a memorial service for Natasha, a funeral for Tony, and learned there was yet another possible location on her children. After spending the last three days in Russia and Sokovia following leads on the whereabouts of Charlie and Jay, Bucky, Steve, and Wanda had plans to head out once again in the morning. While Marlena wanted nothing more than to go with them, she couldn't. She had someone very precious to take care of, and that was what she planned to do. She trusted Bucky to bring them back more than anyone.

Bucky.

Marlena's thoughts wandered. She hadn't really heard from Bucky since he'd left the hospital, but she knew he'd been staying with Wanda. Wanda was his go-to whenever something went wrong, and she was always there to catch him if he fell. They were family.

As Marlena sat quietly overlooking the city, the balcony door behind her opened up. Bucky walked out, a bottle of bourbon in his hand, and he sat down beside Marlena. She looked at him and then looked at the bottle in his hands. A frown fell onto her face and she sighed, turning her attention back to the bright city lights.

"I'd offer you a drink, but..."

Marlena took a deep breath and listened to the liquid inside the bottle slosh around. He was hurt, incredibly hurt, and Marlena could feel it rolling off of him in waves. She hadn't expected him to be there, and while she was happy to see him, the circumstances weren't particularly ideal.

"What are you doing here?" Marlena asked him quietly, finally building the courage to look over at him. She could see his red eyes in the dim evening light and the flush of blood on his cheeks. He looked emotional.

Bucky looked over at Marlena, and a small smile pulled at the corner of his lips. "I came to see you, Marlena, believe it or not."

"I thought you hated me."

Bucky shook his head quickly and looked out at the shining lights of the city. "I could never hate you." He took another swig of his alcohol.

"I wouldn't blame you if you did," Marlena replied softly.

"Why?" Bucky chuckled. "Because you're engaged to my best friend?"

"Precisely."

"Believe me, I'm furious with both of you, but at the same time I'm not," Bucky breathed out and took another swig of his liquor. He was less than pleased by what he'd returned home to. He was thrilled to see Marlena again, but while no time had passed for him, five years had passed for Marlena. She found a way to move on, and while Bucky wanted to be angry because of it, he couldn't bring himself to be. Marlena was happy and that was all he ever wanted for her, despite his broken heart.

"Why not?"

"Because you had every right to move on, Marlena," Bucky said to her. "I'm sure after five years you didn't think I was coming back, so I prepared myself for the possibility of you being in a new relationship with someone else. I just wasn't aware that someone would be my best friend. That's what's really getting to me, I guess, but I still can't be mad. For five years Steve did everything I couldn't do for you—he took care of you, he protected you, he loved you, and he made you happy. That's all I've ever tried to do for you."

Marlena smiled softly and swiped away a tear that had managed to fall. "And you did an absolutely amazing job doing it, too."

"I just wish things could be different," Bucky sighed. "Coming back to life kinda sucks when your kids are nowhere to be found and your wife doesn't love you anymore."

"You're kidding, right?"

Bucky shook his head and took another swig.

"I never stopped loving you, Buck."

Bucky looked over at Marlena with glistening blue eyes. "You just started loving him more," he replied sadly.

"That's not what happened," Marlena assured him. "You disappeared in front of my eyes and there was nothing I could do but stand there and watch it happen. Everyone was gone—you were gone—and I was absolutely lost without you. Steve was the one that convinced me I could find myself again. He encouraged me and supported me and loved me even when I didn't want him to—when I didn't want anyone to. It's not a matter of who I love more, because I love both of you so so much. I just love you both differently now."

The words felt weird to say to Bucky, but Marlena wouldn't lie to him. She loved Steve with everything in her, and that wasn't something she would downplay for anyone's sake.

Bucky pursed his lips and ran a hand through his tousled brown hair. Marlena's words hurt him much more than he expected them to, but he refused to be angry with her. He refused to be angry with Steve or even himself. It was no one's fault, no one's fault but Thanos's. He ripped apart the lives of billions of creatures across the universe, and unfortunately Bucky's life just happened to be one of them.

"I guess I'm not too surprised, y'know?"

"What do you mean?"

"You and Steve," Bucky answered. "When I left after your mom died there was just this new energy between the two of you. Clearly that energy evolved beyond what I ever thought it would, but..."

Marlena looked down and began tinkering with her fingers. The guilt she felt from his words was overwhelming. She felt terrible for loving Steve. She felt terrible for loving Bucky. The throbbing pain in her chest was punishing her for it. Marlena didn't think she deserved either of them. She didn't think she deserved to be loved the way they loved her or happy the way they made her feel. She wanted them both to be happy, but she wondered if they ever truly would be as long as she was around.

"I never meant to hurt you, Buck." Marlena cried, unable to hold back any longer. "I'm so sorry."

Bucky looked over at her and frowned. Seeing Marlena cry was and always would be what he hated the most. If she wasn't happy, he wasn't happy, regardless of the circumstances between the two of them.

"Please don't apologize," Bucky sat his bottle on the ground and quickly moved to comfort Marlena. "You're happy, and I really wish I was the one making you happy, but I'm not, and I've gotta find a way to accept that. You're still my family, and you always will be."

Bucky was desperate to release the emotion he felt building up inside, and Marlena could sense this. The thought of him being in that much pain killed her. He'd known so much hurt in his lifetime, but listening to his wife—the love of his life and the mother of his children—tell him that she was no longer in love with him the way she used to be hurt him more than anything ever could. He'd never despised someone more than he despised Thanos. Sure, Hydra had completely taken his life from him all those years ago, but the moment he met Marlena it was as if his life began again. It was by the hand of Thanos, however, that his life ended once more. What was merely seconds for Bucky had been years for Marlena, and there were no words to describe how desperately he wished he could've been with her during those years.

"I want you to know I'm never gonna stop loving you," Marlena told him. "You are and always will be the absolute world to me, but the world you and I called home stopped turning five years ago. I had to find a new home, and this world with Steve became that for me."

"I know."

"I don't want you to hate me."

"I just told you I could never hate you, Marlena," Bucky breathed out. He released his hold on her, and she moved to rest her head on his shoulder. "You've saved my life in more ways than one. You've shown me what true love feels like. I love you and I always will."

"You promise?" Marlena looked up at him with a soft smile on her face.

Bucky looked down at her and smiled softly. The tears shone in his eyes under the dim evening light. "I promise, Mar."

"You're gonna bring them back, right?" Marlena questioned, referring to the twins.

"Of course," Bucky sighed when he thought of his children being gone. He was ready to get them back, and he was ready to kill whoever had taken them.

A few moments of silence passed them by. Marlena removed her head from Bucky's should and looked down at her hands in her lap. There was a new thought on her mind, one that helped contribute to the current confusion of her life. It was a question, one she'd been curious and confused about for a few days now, and as she sat there thinking, she knew Bucky was the only one who could've possibly known the answer, especially since Steve didn't. She figured now was a better time than ever to ask. She wasn't sure when the two of them would be able to talk like this again.

"Can I ask you a question, Buck?"

"Sure, Mar."

"Does the name Chernova ring a bell to you?" Marlena asked nervously as she picked at her nails. When Rumlow first said the name to her she hadn't been too concerned considering the circumstances of the situation. Since those circumstances had passed, however, she now had plenty of free time to think about who exactly Rumlow thought he saw when the two crossed paths back in 2012.

"Chernova?" Bucky repeated the name and sifted through the faded memories of his mind for the answer. "Yeah, I recognize it. Why? Where'd you hear it?"

Marlena could hear the skepticism in his tone; she shouldn't have known the name at all and he knew that, especially when she spent so little time locked up by Hydra. "Um, I heard it from Rumlow," she answered quietly. She paused for a brief moment when she noticed the surprised expression on Bucky's face. "Chernova, he called me Chernova. When he first said it I didn't really think anything of it, but it's been bothering me for days now."

"Wait, what?" Bucky was now even more confused.

"When we time-traveled back to 2012, Steve and I saw Rumlow and a few other undercover Hydra agents," Marlena began to explain. "Rumlow recognized me and called me Chernova. I've been trying to figure out who Chernova could be for the past five days now."

"The Chernovs were an entire family of Hydra agents and spies," Bucky answered her. He grabbed his bottle of liquor from the ground and took a quick sip.

"What?"

"Yeah, a lot of them were scientists, but there were a choice few who had an exceptionally prodigious skillset, I guess you could say," Bucky continued, "They were scientists, but they were agents and spies as well. They were capable of being everything Hydra needed them to be without the experimentation, but there were some that fell victim to it and some that volunteered."

Marlena was without a doubt pleased with the shocking knowledge, but she was still having a hard time understanding what a family of Hydra agents had to do with her. "I just don't get why Rumlow would call me that," she said with a frown on her face.

Bucky shrugged his shoulders. "I wish I could tell you."

"So, you never happened to see a 'Chernov' running around that I could've been mistaken for?" Marlena asked him, though she already knew the answer.

Bucky chuckled quietly and took another quick swig of his liquor. "No, you've got a very unmistakeable face."

"Buck..."

"I never saw anyone, Marlena." Bucky met her hazel eyes. "And if I did I definitely don't remember it."

"Well, I appreciate the information at least." Marlena stood up slowly, placing a hand over her belly as if to ward off the growing nausea. "And I appreciate you talking to me. You have no idea how much I've missed talking to you."

Bucky glanced to the hand on her belly and then back to her. He wasn't sure how long it would take for him to get over the dreadful sickness he felt regarding the knowledge of Steve and Marlena's relationship, but he hoped it was soon. He couldn't take feeling the way he did any longer. He couldn't handle the bottomless pit in his stomach, and he only hoped it didn't get worse. "I've missed talking to you, too," he replied quietly.

Marlena smiled softly and leaned forward to kiss Bucky's cheek. She let out a breath and looked up at him. "I really do love you, James."

"I love you, too, Marlena."

Marlena only gave his hand a gentle squeeze and headed inside, hurrying past everyone and into her master bathroom to rid herself of the nausea. With an exhausted breath, she sat down on the bathroom floor and hugged her knees to her chest. She couldn't believe what her life had become. She'd gone from a 19-year-old college student enjoying her summer vacation to one of the strongest Avengers. She was one of the strongest people on the planet, yet so easily broken.

Marlena felt a hand on her shoulder, and she looked to see Steve looking at her with a soft smile on his face. He grabbed her hands and pulled her off the floor. Together the two headed out of the bathroom.

Marlena released her hold on him and climbed into their bed. Steve sat down beside her and placed a comforting hand on her head. She turned to look at him, and he moved his hand long enough to whisk away a tear that managed to escape her tired eyes.

"Everything's gonna be okay," Steve assured her. "I know things are pretty difficult right now, but they're gonna get better. You have your family back, or at least you will soon."

"I just never expected things to turn out this way, y'know?"

"I don't think any of us did," Steve said to her. "Did you and Buck get to talk?"

Marlena nodded.

"How'd that go?"

"Better than I thought," Marlena answered. "I'm still afraid he'll grow to resent me."

"I don't think he will."

Marlena raised a brow. "What makes you so sure?"

"Because he told me he couldn't."

"You guys got to talk again?"

"We did."

"How'd it go?" Marlena asked him with curious hazel eyes. Of course, protecting her relationship with Bucky was definitely a priority, but making sure Steve and Bucky's relationship was protected as well mattered just as much to Marlena. The two were best friends and had been for over a century. Bucky was all Steve had left of the life he lost in the 1940's, as was Steve to Bucky. They loved each other, and it was important they didn't lose that. It was important they didn't lose each other.

"It went okay," Steve answered with a nervous breath. "We talked about everything going on between you and I, and I even offered to let him hit me again, but he didn't." Steve smiled as he remembered their conversation. It'd gone a lot better than he originally anticipated. "I think he just wanted to make sure you were in good hands."

"Am I in good hands?"

"Of course," Steve answered her. "You always will be, Marlena."

Marlena smiled softly and held him tighter. "And so will you, Steve."

Steve and Marlena laid together in bed wrapped in each other's arms. The sound of mindless chatter could be heard coming from the living room, but the two of them couldn't bring themselves to pay any mind to it. They were too focused on each other, too focused on their energy. They drew their comfort from one another, but there was only so much comfort one could draw, as their fight had yet to end.

Author's Note: Another filler. So sorry for slow updates. I have a toddler who tests my patience daily, I am not okay. Anyway, who do you guys think Chernova is?