I Can't Be Helped
Marlena paced around the room. There were a good number of others currently running around her inside the apartment, but she couldn't seem to pay them any mind. She was far more concerned with Charlie and making sure she was okay. She had no idea what was going on with her daughter, only that whatever happened had been horrible. She remembered hearing the loud sirens from the Tower. She remembered Bucky's phone call and just how vague he'd been in his explanation. She remembered his explicit instructions—given to him by some of New York's finest—to return home and wait, and so that was where she was. Steve had obviously returned home with her, as had Sam, Mason, and James. Alena was present as well, despite numerous protests from the men in the group. Marlena needed her around, however. She needed to know why whatever happened left her in such a pained state, and why the pain was enough to completely eradicate the effect of the suppressors on her body.
"You're creating a draft, Marlena."
Marlena simply rolled her eyes at Sam's remark and continued her trek back and forth through the living room.
"Maybe you should sit down," Steve suggested.
"Pacing helps pass the time," Marlena replied.
"You know what else it does?" Mason spoke up this time. "It wears the carpet down, and you're especially gonna speed up the process if you don't take your shoes off. C'mon, Mar, I though mom taught you better than that."
Marlena shook her head and stopped pacing long enough to look at her younger brother. "How can you make jokes right now?"
"You're a pregnant telepath who feels emotions deeper than anyone else I've ever met," Mason answered her. "Believe me, I'm stressed to no end worrying about whatever happened to Charlie, but I'd kinda like to do my part to make sure you don't bring the building down by channeling positivity in your direction rather than a certain negativity that could get us all killed."
Marlena groaned and sat down on the couch in between Steve and Mason. She was becoming impatient. It'd been almost two hours since they'd been home. All Marlena wanted was to see her daughter. All she wanted was to know what had happened to her daughter. Bucky stopped answering his phone an hour ago and the suspense was slowly killing her.
Just then, Alena stepped into the living room. She'd just finished a much needed shower and was dressed head-to-toe in Marlena's clothes, with her permission, of course. She was still recovering from the incident that left her with a debilitating headache. It not only confused the small group who'd witnessed it, but it confused Alena herself. It was only after her mind had semi-cleared she was able to figure out what happened, and she knew Marlena wanted to know as well. It was the only reason she'd allowed her out of the Tower.
"And here I thought you'd given us the slip," Sam remarked from his spot in Steve's recliner.
"And why exactly would I do that?" Alena questioned Sam as she slowly made her way to sit down on the loveseat beside her father.
"Maybe because you're a manipulative, psycho bitch, I don't know?" Mason spoke up, eliciting a sigh from his father. He definitely understood the tension between his children, but he couldn't deny that he absolutely despised it.
"I've been called much worse," Alena responded with a sarcastic smile on her face. It disappeared just as quickly as it came, however, leaving a rather serious expression on her face. "And don't forget Charlie's my niece just as much as she's yours. I'd like to know what the hell is going on the same as all of you."
"Well, how do we know you aren't what happened to her?" Mason asked, skepticism in his tone. "Your timing with Marlena back at the Tower was nothing short of impeccable."
Alena looked at Mason with narrow eyes, but before she could make a remark in her defense, Marlena spoke up. She was tired of listening to their back-and-forth.
"That's enough from both of you," she chastised the two of them. She looked over at Alena, who simply sunk down in her seat beside her father and met Marlena's eyes. "Now, what happened back at the Tower? Why did I get a phone call from Bucky telling me something happened with Charlie as soon as you dropped to the floor in pain?"
"You're not going to like what I have to say," Alena answered quietly.
"Tell me now."
Alena sighed and glanced around the room. All eyes were on her, and the sight of it made her incredibly uncomfortable. "About three years ago, I psychically linked myself to Charlie as a sort of failsafe. She was young enough and lacked the amount of control needed to keep me out of her head, but she was old enough that her lack of control made her abilities unpredictable and deadly."
"A failsafe?" Marlena reiterated, disbelief evident in her tone. The word had a certain connotation Marlena was not comfortable with whatsoever.
"Before you lose your shit, know it wasn't the sort of 'failsafe' you're thinking of," Alena assured Marlena. "I might not be the nicest person, but I would never hurt the twins."
"Then you better start talking and tell us what the hell that means," Steve said to her.
"It was a way to protect her," Alena answered him. "I could feel everything she felt on a much deeper level, which was necessary for the sake of helping her learn to control her abilities. If she got too upset or too angry, I'd use that to figure out a way to get her through it without harming herself or anyone else. It worked, but not as well as I wanted it to."
"That still doesn't explain what happened back at the Tower."
"Like I said...I can feel everything she feels," Alena reminded Sam. The expression on her face had changed, and she could feel her eyes glazing over with warm tears. "I've never ever felt anything like it before. Whatever happened to her evoked such a devastating emotional response it was strong enough to break through the effect of the suppressors, and I'm not too sure any of us are ready to find out what it is."
Before anyone could respond, the apartment door opened. Those inside looked over to see Bucky walking inside with the twins, and Marlena got up immediately to greet them. Bucky looked emotionally drained. Jay's exhausted hazel eyes were full of so much pain and fear. Charlie looked absolutely numb. The sight of it, the feeling of it, sent a chill down Marlena's spine.
"You're back," Marlena breathed out in relief and looked at the twins. Jay looked at his mother, but Charlie refused to meet her eyes, something of which confused Marlena. "Are you guys okay? What happened? Charlie?"
Charlie spared only a single glance up at her mother before sauntering off down the hall. Marlena watched her disappear into her room. She listened as the door slammed shut, and she turned back to Bucky and Jay, the confusion on her face now very evident.
"What happened to her, Buck?"
Bucky let out a sad sigh but didn't have the chance to respond before Jay spoke up, his words frightening her more than she ever though they would.
"I told you, mom...Charlie is death."
Marlena's mouth fell open at the sound of his words and she watched as her son took off down the hall to his room. His insinuation left a very uncomfortable atmosphere inside the apartment, leaving the group to ponder over what exactly the nine-year-old boy meant. It was evident, but none of them wanted to believe it.
"What happened to her?" Marlena asked Bucky once more, this time with a much firmer tone. She was ready to break down in tears, but she fought them for the sake of maintaining control over her emotions.
Bucky gestured Marlena to sit down, and so she sat back down between her brother and Steve. Bucky remained standing. He scanned his eyes over the present company in the room. His eyes stopped on Alena for the briefest of moments, and while he was less than pleased with her presence, the issue concerning his little girl was much more important than she ever would be.
"I took the twins out to sightsee while you guys were at the tower," Bucky started. "We had lunch in that restaurant at the trade center? Y'know, the one in the observatory? Well, Charlie started freaking out over a massive rush of tourists, and I managed to calm her down for a few minutes. Then her and Jay started arguing, she got upset, and let's just say a few unlucky civilians paid the price for it."
"Oh, my god."
"Are you telling us Charlie accidentally killed someone?" Sam asked, disbelief in his tone. If that was the case, Sam was absolutely broken-hearted because of it, and he knew everyone else was as well. He knew the pain and guilt associated with taking a life, as did the remainder of the Avengers in the room. There wasn't anyone in the world he would wish that kind of pain on, especially not a nine-year-old girl burdened with a deadly ability she never asked for.
"I really wish I wasn't," Bucky replied and glanced over at Marlena, who was less than pleased with the sound of his words.
Marlena was absolutely speechless. All she felt was pain knowing her daughter was suffering with a guilt she couldn't possibly understand at such a young age. Even at the age of twenty it was incredibly difficult for Marlena to understand the guilt she felt after taking a human life, and that feeling was not something she wanted her baby girl to experience. Charlie never asked to be born with such a powerful burden, and in that moment, Marlena was so angry because of it she wanted nothing more than to take it away.
Marlena got up from the couch and moved to head to the twins' room, but Bucky grabbed her arm before she could get too far. Marlena looked at him, the expression on her face urging him to let her go, but he was adamant. Charlie was unstable, mentally, emotionally, and otherwise, and the last thing Bucky wanted was for Marlena to be on the receiving end of that.
"She's not stable, Mar."
"I don't care, she's still my daughter." Marlena made an attempt to remove her arm from Bucky's hold, but he was too strong for her. "It's my job to be there for her as her mother, so I suggest you let me go before I make you."
"Let her go, Buck," Steve instructed his best friend.
Bucky glanced between the two of them and with an exasperated breath he let Marlena go. She took off down the hall without another word to anyone. She opened the door to the twins' room and closed it behind her. Charlie was laying in her bed facing the wall, while Jay sat beside her with a comforting hand on her arm. Neither of them were speaking, and the atmosphere inside the room was so dreadful Marlena wasn't sure she'd be able to handle it. She had to, though, for the sake of being there for Charlie.
"Jay, baby," Marlena spoke, grabbing her son's attention. "Do you think you could give me a minute alone with your sister?"
Jay shook his head and turned back to Charlie. "I'm not leaving her."
Marlena's heart swelled at the sound of his words. Jay loved his sister more than anything in the world and Marlena could feel it. She wasn't surprised, though. Charlie had been the constant in Jay's life over the last five years, and regardless of how much the two bickered or fought, there was absolutely no separating the two of them.
"Okay, well, Charlie, can you please speak to me?" Marlena was trying desperately not to break down in front of her children. She was devastated—she was devastated to know the reason behind the intense emotion her daughter felt. "I just want to help you, baby."
"I can't be helped, Mommy."
And all it took were those five words to break Marlena in two. To hear her little girl struggling so much to be who she never asked to be tormented Marlena. To hear the lack of hope in such an innocent voice hurt more than anything she'd ever experienced in her life.
Marlena quickly wiped away a few tears that managed to fall and walked over to sit next to Charlie and Jay. She placed a comforting hand on her daughter's arm, but Charlie made no move to acknowledge the gesture. She was absolutely numb, just as Marlena felt she was when they'd first returned home. She figured it was Charlie's way of trying to filter out the pain.
"Charlie—"
"I don't want this anymore," Charlie cut Marlena off before she could say too much else. "I don't want to be bad anymore. I want to be good like you and Dad and everybody else, but I can't be good like this, Mom."
Marlena frowned and squeezed Charlie's arm slightly. The slightest touch let Malena know just how much pain Charlie was truly in, and in that moment she was thankful Jay couldn't feel a thing. Charlie's guilt plagued her. The pain of reliving that moment ripped her apart inside, because she knew she would never be able to take it back. Charlie knew that no matter what she did to escape her emotions they'd always find a way back to torment her, and part of her believed she deserved it.
"Please tell me what I can do for you, Charlie," Marlena spoke quietly to her daughter. At this point she was practically begging for a way to help her daughter. She was willing to do whatever she needed to do to help her, within reason, of course. The life her children had been born into was never the life she imagined for them. A life of pain, guilt, and endless war was never what she wanted to put her family through, and as she sat there desperately trying to comfort two of the world's most precious and innocent human beings, she was determined to make sure they would never know such a life again.
Charlie finally sat up in her bed. Her bright blue eyes were red from the amount of tears she'd cried. The sight broke Marlena's heart once more, though it would be Charlie's request that would ultimately pull at her mother's heartstrings.
"I want you to take away the pain, Mom," Charlie said as she met Marlena's eyes. The tears filled the young girl's eyes once more, and Marlena raised a hand to whisk them away. "I don't wanna feel like this anymore. I want you to take it away."
Marlena took a deep breath as she began to process the meaning of Charlie's words. Of course, Marlena knew exactly what Charlie wanted from her. What she didn't know, however, was how to prepare herself and the rest of their family for the deadly result of giving her daughter everything she was asking for.
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