I had finally gotten settled back in at my parent's house in my old bedroom after a few days. It was strange being back here feeling like I was under their constant supervision again. In a weird way, it was oddly comforting knowing they were keeping an eye on me, but it also opened my eyes to the fact that I liked my newfound independence.

Ezra kept calling my phone and sending me messages asking where I was and if he could come to see me. Instead of ignoring him, I decided to message him back. I sent him one message with two words.

Me: Fuck off.

I had worked a few nights over the next week and a half to keep up appearances. Jules and Rachel were now walking me to my car every night in case Ezra tried to corner me. He had tried to come into the bar and I hid in the walk-in until Rachel convinced him I wasn't there. I had to let Rachel know about what happened after that and she passed it to Jules within minutes. I never felt lonely anymore; I always had someone at my side keeping their eyes open for me.

It had been almost seven weeks since the night Ezra walked back into my life and my whole world had flipped upside down. It felt like so much more time had passed since he showed up that first night at my work.

I was relieved the next day when my Mom said she was going out again with JD and Anna to go taste wedding cakes. They asked me to tag along, but I still wasn't in the mood to face anyone right now. My parents had still kept quiet about the Brynn and Ezra thing. JD and Anna didn't need to get involved since it was now ancient history and I was too depressed still to make public appearances involving weddings.

I got up and got dressed, throwing on a pair of shorts and a plain white t-shirt. My plan was to bum around the house all day. I might go organize the kitchen cabinets. My Mom had gotten a little sloppy on making the labels face out in the pantry since I moved out. Maybe it was because she didn't have me there and I was the only person on the planet who really cared about things like that.

I was in the middle of separating the cans of vegetables from the beans and lining them up in alphabetical order when I heard loud pounding on the front door.

"Riley, I know you're in there." Ezra's deep voice boomed from the other side. "Open the door, please talk to me."

My heart dropped.

I knew he would know where I went; I just didn't think he would have the nerve to come to my parent's house. Brynn probably told him she saw my parents helping me move out. I moved to the front door and began to place my fingertips on it. I jumped back when he pounded again against the other side. It sounded like he was going to break the door down. The house was shaking as he hit it again.

"Riley, open the fucking door." The neighbors were surely going to hear this noise and call the cops. I know I wanted him to face the consequences the night I saw him with Brynn. In the light of day, I wasn't sure now that the cops getting involved was a good idea since he was using again. I hated him right now, but I didn't want him to end up in jail.

My hands shook as I turned the lock to unbolt the door. I grasped the doorknob and turned it against my better judgment. Ezra was standing with his arms on the door frame and his chest was rising and falling rapidly with each breath. His eyes were still cloudy and bloodshot. I crossed my arms over my chest, trying to make myself look as big and strong as possible. I knew it wasn't doing the trick; his presence had always overpowered mine.

"What do you want, Ezra?" I said through clenched teeth.

"Let me in so we can talk." He demanded.

"Ezra, I've let you back in before and we both know how that turned out." My eyes were a hard stone staring defiantly into his.

"Five minutes and I'll go. We need to talk." He leaned down, trying to get eye level with me. He was using his height to his advantage to surround me.

"Five minutes, my Mom will be home soon. She has promised she will kill you if she sees you again." I said, opening the door and moved out of the way. He nodded and walked past me towards the living room. I walked into the living room behind him and he tried to grab me to pull me into him. I put up my hands to fend off his touch.

"Don't touch me." I yelled at him.

Hurt and anger flashed across his face and rippled down through his body.

"Riley, I love you. You know me. I would never do that to you."

"Then what happened, Ezra? Why were you in my bed with Brynn?"

"She came home and I sat down to talk to her about you. She gave me a drink and before I knew it, one turned into two and she pulled out some pills and crushed them up on the table. I screwed up and gave in. I was really out of it and told her I was going to go lay down. I knew that you were going to be pissed at me for using and I felt really sick."

"Riley, I woke up thinking you were on top of me and when I looked over you were standing in the doorway. I swear I thought she was you. I would never have touched anyone else but you. You have to believe me."

Tears filled the rims of his eyes when he finished. He was desperate.

"So, what you are saying is that Brynn got you high so she could get you in bed with her? Am I supposed to believe you two weren't planning this all along?" I didn't believe a word coming out of his mouth. He was an addict and a liar.

"Think about it, Ry. She was so screwed up over the Aiden thing. She wanted to hurt you back. She's fucking crazy, you know it."

"Yeah, I know she's nuts. But you have been keeping things from me too. You don't get a free pass on what you did because she turned out to be a psycho bitch." I crossed my arms over my chest.

"What have I been keeping from you?" He asked defensively.

"Do I really need to make you a list? Come on, Ezra, the drinking, the drugs, what you used to do to girls for fun, and the fact that Brynn told you she saw me sleeping with Aiden at the bonfire. Isn't that enough for you?"

His body froze.

"Yeah, I guess you weren't going to tell me that one were you?"

He feet became very interesting to him. He couldn't even look me in the eye.

"Well, just so you know. Something did happen with Aiden that night, but it wasn't what she told you. He did kiss me and I told him that he was just confused, but we weren't having sex. You came after me that night because she manipulated you. You threw me in the car and made me go with you because you were insecure about what I felt about you."

"You don't have to lie to me about sleeping with him, I know you did and I have already forgiven you for it. It's over. I don't want to hear about it again." Ezra was trying to shut me down.

"Forgive me? The fact you think you have chosen to forgive me instead of believing me tells me everything I need to know. You are incapable of forgiveness, Ezra. Besides, there is nothing to forgive. This is just some made-up piece of shit that you will hold onto to use against me when it is convenient for you. Why don't you just go fuck Brynn again and leave me alone?"

"So you want me to believe you about Aiden, but you refuse to believe me about Brynn. Glass houses Riley." He threw his hands up.

"I'm done with this. You need to leave Ezra. This...." I poked his chest with my finger. "This is over. You need to leave before I call the cops."

"What are you going to tell them, Riley? That I made a valid point and you didn't like it. It sucks not always being right, doesn't it?"

Ezra stood over me and walked me backwards with his forehead touching mine, staring me down. His hands were digging into my hips.

"You should know better than anyone." I countered back rebelliously.

"You are such a fucking child." He forced his mouth against mine and picked me up off the ground. His body was hard and aggressive and his mouth wanted to tear me apart. I pushed at him and it only made him want more.

Ezra's gigantic hands moved my shorts to the side and his fingers were filling me once again. He was rougher with me than he he had ever been. But I wanted him even though it was all wrong. I was going to let him do this to me again.

"Ezra." I moaned moving my hips over his hand. Even in my hatred, I still craved the blue-eyed boy.

He moved me down to the ground and my knees hit with a hard thud against the wood floor. He ripped off my shorts and stuck his fingers back inside me and continued to pump them in and out of me.

Ezra pulled his fingers out and his hands were already pushing his pants to his knees. He moved behind me and pushed himself inside of me.

"We... no...you... oh my god." I moaned.

Ezra tore into me from behind. He grabbed at the skin on my back, sinking his fingers in to tear at the flesh. He was marking my skin to make sure every knew I was his. He leaned down and bit me like he was trying to make me bleed.

"I will never let you leave me." He slammed into me and my body froze at his words. He really wasn't ever going to let me go and I just kept falling back into him time after time. I was on my hands and knees, letting him use me again. This was never going to end between us.

Ezra pressed against me and released himself inside of me as I began crying. Why did I keep letting him do these things to me? Why did I want to let him hurt me? I wiped the tears from my face with my hand. I loved him but he was draining the life and fight out of me. Sometimes loving someone isn't enough to make it work.

It was time for me to let him go.

"I knew you just needed a little persuasion." Ezra panted, out of breath as he leaned over and pulled himself out. "That's my good girl."

Ezra rubbed the back of my head and then slapped my ass cheek like I was a prize pony that just won best in show. He pulled his pants up and sat on the ground against the entryway with his elbows on his knees.

I stood up and grabbed my shorts and pulled them up over my hips without buttoning them.

"Get out." I pointed to the door.

"What?" He asked with an astonished look on his face.

"I said we were done and I meant it." I turned towards the steps to walk away.

Ezra stood up and his hands were on me before I could even climb the first step. He grabbed my arm and pushed me back against the banister. The wood dug into my back and I fought, trying to push him off me.

"This isn't over, Riley. You don't get to just say we're done and expect me to walk away. You love me. I know you do." He screamed in my face.

I shook my head at him and he grabbed the tops of my arms and shook me. My arms were burning where he gripped me too hard. I felt the fear bubbling up and down me. Ezra, when he was using, was unpredictable, mean, and violent. He terrified me.

"Please, Ezra, you're hurting me." I said as calmly as I could, trying to get his attention.

"You don't think you're hurting me by saying you don't want to be with me?" His jawline was hard and tense. "We belong together, Riley, you fucking know it. You are always going to be mine."

"The only person who owns me is me. I'm not yours." I stood firm, holding my ground.

Ezra pushed me back and I landed hard on the stairs. My head hit the staircase with a thud. I was dizzy and my vision blurred. I was completely terrified as I clawed and thrashed at him when he came closer to me. I kicked and screamed, turning to crawl up the stairs, but he grabbed my leg and pulled me back down to him. He turned me over, lifting my hands to pin them against the stairs. He moved my hands to one of his and continued to hold them down while the other hand pulled my knees apart so he could lean between them.

"You love me. Tell me you love me." Ezra leaned in and pressed into me as he moved his lips to mine. He pressed his mouth against me desperately and tried to part my lips with his tongue. I didn't give in. I didn't kiss him back.

"Kiss me back. You love me. Please don't do this to me." He pleaded. I wasn't going to give him what he wanted this time. This had to end.

"Why won't you say it?" He cried against my mouth. "Tell me you fucking love me."

"No." I managed to squeak out.

My head was throbbing from hitting the steps and I felt like I was going to throw up. My vision was cutting in and out as he leaned against me, desperately trying to hold onto any piece of me he thought he could reach.

He dipped his fingers in my shorts again and started running his thumb over me, fighting to reignite the fire between us.

"Ezra." I whimpered. "I don't want this."

"Please don't leave me. You are the only thing left for me. I will never survive without you. I'll be better for you, I promise. You are it for me, Riley. You are the one I want to be with the rest of my life." He cried. His hand was pulling at my shirt, but the strength in him faltered.

"Ezra, stop." I cried softly.

Ezra pulled his hand from my shorts and moved his head back to look at me. A flash of clarity moved across his face and he jumped back off me. He was towering over me, looking down at the jumbled mess that was me laying on the steps. I lifted myself up and pulled my shirt down and tried to cover myself by shrinking into a ball.

"Fuck! Baby, I didn't mean to do that." He screamed, pulling at his hair before punching the wall leaving a hole in it. I flinched with the sudden angry movement.

"Riley. I am so sorry. Please, baby, say something. Did I hurt you?" He moved quickly to kneel down in front of me and put his hands on my face.

I scrambled back from him like a wild animal, clawing at him when he got near me again. I struck him and saw three red lines dotted with blood appear across his cheek. He grabbed his cheek and held his hand over it.

"I'm so messed up right now, baby. This isn't me. I swear I would never do that to you. I love you so much. Fuck! I need help, Riley. Please help me."

I cowered down again, unable to speak. I wanted to go lock myself in a room and get away from him, but I was scared he would chase me and this would all start again. He might not be able to stop himself next time.
Instead of bolting, I stayed in place holding onto the banister post for protection.

Ezra stared at me again and I turned my throbbing head away from him. I felt like I could pass out any second.

"Please don't give up on me.
I need you to help me. You're the only one who can." He reached out one last time and I shrunk away from his touch.

"I can't fix you." I said looking up at his cloudy red-rimmed eyes.

He started backing away towards the door when he finally realized I was not going to give in to him this time. He grabbed the knob and turned it.

"I'm sorry I couldn't find a way." He whispered.

I was sorry I couldn't either.

The door slammed shut and I laid there whimpering, unable to move. My head was throbbing and I was too dizzy to stand. I leaned my head against the banister support and closed my eyes.