Beth

We haven't gone more than a few steps before Aunt Alice speaks up indignantly.

"How can you stand hearing them speaking about you like that? You should defend yourself!"

"That? That was nothing," I laugh it off, but my aunt does not seem amused. "What should I say? If I call them on it, they'll deny they meant it that way, or tell me not to be so sensitive. Trust me, I know the way they are treating me isn't right. I'm just as convinced I can't change them, so I try not to let it bother me. There are two reasons why I stay, and they are sleeping in the upstairs bedroom."

Alice gives me a penetrating look. I continue.

"I'm fine, Aunt. I have to admit, it's not the life I had hoped for, but I am able to accomplish something good. As my sister says, I'm useful. Not everyone can say that."

Alice sighs.

"I had dreamed of so much more than 'useful' for you, darling. I hope you don't blame this on me."

"Of course not. I made the choice."

"I could have never known when I asked you to come home and take care of your father, it would come to this," Alice murmurs. "I full intended you to only take one semester off, then straight back to Harvard. He did recover."

"But then Trevor died," I say. "My niece and nephew needed someone stable until their mother pulled out of mourning. I'm glad I could be their someone."

"I should have cared for your father so you could continue school," Alice says.

"I wouldn't have let you. Your career was just taking off. You had already agreed to do the book tour. No one else could sign your books for you, and you couldn't go back on your word. Besides, as sick as Father was, if he had died, I would never have been able to forgive myself for not being with him during his last months. It could have just as easily gone the other way."

"I am still convinced it was your nursing that saved him," Alice says. I shrug.

"Maybe," I say. I know he doesn't see it that way.

We walk in silence for a few minutes, the gravel crunching under our feet. A cardinal with rosy breast and wings glides and lands not far from us.

"Is there a good private school for dyslexics on Nantucket Island?" Alice asks. I snort.

"There's a private school, but it costs about as much as a year at Harvard!"

"Seriously?"

I nod.

"That particular school might be a bit out of our range, but I would be happy to supplement the children's tuition."

"Even if you did, Mariah would never let Olivia go to a specialized school. She doesn't believe in labeling the children. She is convinced that there is nothing wrong with Olivia. She thinks she is just lazy and not trying hard enough. At least at home, I can research the best curriculum and make sure Livie is confident and getting the attention she needs, even if she's a little behind. Regular public school in this area are not an option. She is still scarred from the experiences she had there, as you well know, and even if bullying weren't a problem, the schools don't usually diagnose or know how to work with dyslexic kids. I am fine doing this, really."

"But at what price?" she asks.

"You can never sacrifice too much for the ones you love," I say hollowly, like an automaton.

"Do you really believe that, Beth?" Alice asks, shaking her head. "Because I say emphatically that you can. Sometimes you can give up pieces of your soul that you didn't have to if you had just searched harder for another way."

I feel tears forming in my eyes.

"Do you really think I haven't tried to find another way? Do you really think I would put up with my family's abuse if I didn't know it would be directed toward innocent children if I wasn't there? If I didn't know that a beautiful and brilliant girl would be made to feel small and stupid and helpless if I didn't shield her and train her mind to believe something else? The only way I control that is by being the buffer, and the only way I shield those children is by being there. Some sacrifices may not seem worth it, but they are. They just are."

Alice sighs heavily. She knows I'm right. She turns suddenly, facing me and taking both of my hands in hers.

"If you had no responsibilities, if you could do anything in the world you wanted, what would you do?" she asks.

I pause. The question is so foreign, it's hard to wrap my mind around it. When was the last time I allowed myself the chance to really dream. I think back to my Harvard days. What was I passionate about then? What did I hope to do with my life? I remember.

"All I ever wanted to do is help people. I thought it might be someplace more remote, like bringing fresh water or education to the poor in a developing country. Back then, I wanted to run a nonprofit." I shrug, stung with the reminder that Isaac has lived my dream without me. "But that didn't work out. I suppose helping my nephew and niece is enough." 

Alice snorts.

"Is it?" she asks. "You heard your sister in there. She doesn't even appreciate what you're doing. Besides that, you're not in a position of power. If you did own your own business, you would have options. You could pay for Olivia to go to the right school, and your sister couldn't help but go along, or she would have to pay for someone else to educate the children. You and I both know that she would never do that. What little she has is spent on herself. Or if you're not satisfied with the quality of the school, you would have the funds to hire a tutor. Maybe you'd have enough money to create your own school if you wanted.

"Right now, you are positioned exactly where your father and sister want you to be. They're using you, and you're staying there because of what might happen to Olivia if you don't do exactly what they want. You're operating from a place of fear, Beth. What if you were to take matters into your own hands and finally carve out the life you want, one that fully utilizes your talents? What if you don't have to sacrifice your happiness? What if you could not only help Olivia, but countless other children. Your mother would have wanted that for you, Beth."

I feel the excitement in her tone. It's contagious. My mind can't help but turn to the opportunity at hand.

"Yesterday I dropped off an applications with David, an old buddy from my Harvard days. He's invited me to enter his Next Big Thing competition. The winner will work with the company to create and distribute a product. The girl that was supposed to help me pack left, though, and now I'm wondering if it's ridiculous to even think about attempting this. The contest runs all summer, and I had planned to work with Olivia quite a bit to help her be more prepared when we do our regular school courses this fall."

"You should do this. You need to do this," Alice decides, her voice clear and sure. "You need a break from your father and sister to examine your own life and what you want to do next."

"But what about the children?" I protest.

"I'll take care of them. Just show me what to do to help Olivia."

I'm skeptical. Aunt Alice isn't very comfortable around children. I'm not sure how well she will handle it when Olivia gets frustrated and throws her tantrums, but at least the work load will be lighter in the summer.

"And your next book?"

"I can write in the early morning while everyone sleeps or while the children play on the beach. Besides, I'm ahead of schedule."

I am touched by her generosity.

"But—"

"No more buts, Beth. One time you sacrificed everything for my dream. My career is established now. It's time you did something for you."

It seems crazy leaving my family when they need me so much, but my aunt is right. I need to do this. I need to see if I can reclaim that piece of me I lost.

"Okay," I agree.

"It's settled then. Now, let's finish packing," she says.

______________

If you enjoyed this chapter, hit that star! :)

New insights into Beth and Aunt Alice with this chapter. Now it's starting to make more sense why Beth stayed with her family. I know many of you were upset when Aunt Alice asked Beth to leave Harvard for a semester. What do you think of her willingness to help out Beth? People certainly can be complex, can't they?

I envision Meryl Streep making a good Aunt Alice. She certainly has a commanding presence, and I could see her being quite intimidating in this role.

This chapter is personal for me since I have a son who is dyslexic who had to deal with some tough bullying. This stuff breaks my heart because he is so bright and creative in so many ways, yet too often people don't take the time to see the strengths. Have any of you or anyone you know had to deal with learning challenges? 

Dedication goes out to the lovely lavinialeigh. I so enjoy hanging out with her at the Wattpadres weekly Twitter chats (if you aren't joining us yet, please do - every Tuesday at 8 PM EST) and reading her comments here and on Twitter. I'm also enjoying her story "Legend's Quake" here on Wattpad. Thanks for your awesome support, girl!