Beth

I looked at my aunt's fierce expression, then over at Isaac's shuttered one. After everything he'd been through with his mother, this was the last thing he needed. He needed me.

"Then that's how it will have to be," I said, pulling Isaac with me as I stalked out the door.

We climbed into my car and drove aimlessly, me trembling because I couldn't believe I defied my aunt and Isaac in stunned silence because he couldn't believe I had done it either. I parked on a bluff overlooking the city. The lights gleamed below us, but I was too heartbroken to appreciate them.

I burst into tears. Isaac pulled me into his arms and held me as my tears stained his shirt.

"Will it never end? Your mother was just murdered! Will they ever quit blaming you for your mother's sins?" I asked. "I am so sorry for all the horrible things my aunt said. If she only knew you, she wouldn't have said those things. You're just 'that boy' to her and to me, well you're everything..." Isaac stroked my hair and shushed me.

"It's okay, darling. It's not your fault," Isaac murmured.

I looked up at him and he wiped the tears on my face with his thumbs.

"No more tears," he said. "C'mere. I want to show you something."

We left the car and laid down on the grass. For a long time, we lay there silent. Finally, Isaac pointed at the night sky, where the stars shined brightly against the splash of the Milky Way.

"See those stars there? The bright one to the left of the Milky Way and that one to the right?"

"I see them," I said. Isaac continued the story.

"There is a Chinese legend that Vega Star represents the Weaving Girl, and Altair Star represents the Cowherd. The Vega Star and the Altair Star fell deeply in love. Their love was forbidden, though, because the Weaver Girl was the granddaughter of the Heavenly Empress. When word of their forbidden love reached the ears of the powerful Empress, she became furious and cast the Cowherd Star down to Earth as a mortal."

"What happened to the Weaver Girl?" I asked.

"She was punished to weave non-stop in the sky. In the legend, the clouds in the skies were weaved by the Weaver Girl with magical silk, and colors were weaved according to different times of the day and season. One day, a group of fairies requested permission to descend to the mortal world to swim in a magical lake. Taking pity on the Weaver Girl, they requested she accompany them. Reluctantly, the Heavenly Empress allowed her to go with the fairies."

I snuggled closer to Isaac. He put his arm around me and continued the story.

"Meanwhile down on Earth, the Cowherd Star had lived a difficult life as well. After his parents passed away, he stayed with his brother and sister-in-law, who treated him very poorly. Eventually things got so bad that he was chased from home with nothing more than an old Ox and a broken cart. The Cowherd and the Ox worked hard together plowing the fields, and after a few years, they managed to build a small house.

"One day the Ox told the Cowherd to go to the lake. He told him he would find fairy dresses there, and he should take the red one. The fairy who owned that dress would be his wife. He crept up to the lake and took the dress, and when the fairies discovered there was a man nearby, they hurriedly dressed and left. Only one fairy was left in the lake, and she was none other than the Weaver Girl. The Cowherd asked her to be his wife in exchange for the dress. Recognizing the Cowherd as her true love, she shyly accepted his marriage request and became his wife."

"Didn't the Heavenly Empress try to stop them?" I asked.

"I'm getting to that part," Isaac said. "They married, and life was like a dream for awhile. They had a son and daughter which brought great joy into their lives. But their happiness didn't last. The Empress sent guards to bring the Weaver Girl back to the heavens. The Cowherd and the children followed her on a magical ox hide. They drew near. She could see the adoring faces of her children and hear their cries, but before they could be reunited, the Empress appeared, and with the wave of her hand, created the Silvery River, or the Milky Way, as a barrier to separate them.

"They cried and cried, and the fairies and gods felt pity and pain that they were separated. After a time, even the heart of the Empress softened. Once every year, on the seventh day of the seventh moon, magpies make a bridge across the Silvery River and the family are allowed to reunite for one night. The Chinese celebrate that night as their Qi Xi or Magpie Festival. It's basically their Valentine's Day."

I turned on my side and propped myself on one arm.

"Seems harsh to me," I said. "Only being able to see the ones you love once a year."

"Better than nothing, I guess," Isaac said wearily. "Sometimes no matter how hard you try, there are things that keep you apart."

I didn't like the ominous tone in his voice.

"Isaac, we'll be okay. It may not seem like it sometimes, but this, whatever we have, it's worth fighting for."

"Beth, there are things you don't know about me."

"Then tell me."

"Things that happened to me as a kid. Things if you knew about me, you wouldn't want me anymore." I squeezed his hand.

"Isaac, look at me. Of course I'll still want you. Whatever it is, if Violetta could handle it, I can too."

He shakes his head.

"No way. I can't bear to have the look in your eye change. To have you look at me with disgust." I sat up and faced him directly.

"Isaac William Whitman! You listen to me, and listen well. I would never turn you away. You are worthy of being loved because you are. There is nothing you could ever do or have done to you that would make me stop loving you."

In that moment, I realized I'd crossed a taboo line. I'd told Isaac I loved him for the first time, and I knew it was true. There was no other way to describe the warmth I felt for him, the utter and complete acceptance for all that he was.

The look on Isaac's stunned face was precious. It will be etched in my mind for the rest of my life, because I knew he believed me. Something shifted in that moment, something intimate and sacred. It was like we were almost aligned before that, but in the moment, we became perfectly aligned.

But it was also scary, because I'd been so transparent in my feelings. I knew he liked me, but the "L" word was a pretty heavy one to use. We were just kids.

"Not that you need to feel that way about me, of course," I stammered.

"Beth, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me. You're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. I love everything about you, the way your hair shines in the sun, your expressive eyes, your lovely smile, your slammin' body; there, I knew that would make you smile. No matter what your aunt, or father, or anyone in this town thinks, I'm not some idjit kid who's going to knock up any girl who will have me. I am not Polly."

As I remembered what he's been dealing with, I felt sick again.

"Oh Isaac, I'm so sorry she put you through that."

"Aw, don't feel sad. I know what abuse is, and no matter what your aunt thinks, I never, ever could do anything that would hurt you or stop you from becoming everything you want to become. I couldn't do that to anyone. Beth, I promise you, when our moment comes, it won't be about me using you to get my needs met or you escaping through me. It's gonna mean more because it has to. It's gonna be because I'm bringing everything that I am and have to cherish you, and you're bringing everything that you are and have to cherish me.

"I don't care what the world has decided I'll be, I say we can be whatever we want to be. I say we choose to leave the ugliness behind, and if I ever push you at all or overstep my boundaries, I give you full permission to kick me in the nuts and spit in my face and call me whatever vile names you want."

I half sob, half laugh at that. I will never need to treat Isaac like that jerk at the prom, because he could never be like that.

"So what do we do now?" I asked. The thought of losing Isaac so soon after finally becoming a couple was unbearable. "My aunt will tell my father, and I'm afraid they'll forbid you to be with me."

"Then it's our secret. They'll never have to know. All we have to do is finish out our senior year without them finding out about us, then we'll run away to college together. We'll graduate, get married, and once we figure out our careers, we'll make some babies. If that's what you want, of course, and if you trust a man to father your children who's the son of a whore."

I rolled my eyes.

"Forget that," I say. "They don't know you. I do want children eventually, and of course I know you'd be an amazing father. Everything your parents weren't. But I don't see how I can keep my family from finding out about us."

"We'll be careful," he said.

He was my happily ever after, and I was his.

Our bonds were so strong, it should have worked out.

But it didn't.

My mind returns to the present, and my heart aches to think of leaving our beloved home. It's the only place I've lived. It's all that I know.

It's the house where I fell in love with Isaac.

How can I leave it behind? I wonder if I will forget the rooms. Already the memory of my mother fades further with each passing day. Will the memories of the home she loved fade for me too?

Suddenly, it feels very stuffy inside. I step out onto the porch and breath in the fresh air. The world is calm and quiet. The stars hang low in the gauzy heavens, and I wonder if I stretched far enough, if I could pluck one from the sky.

To the outside world, I seem to have everything. A family, a beautiful home, lovely gardens to tend to, status and respect.

The truth is, I have nothing.

I turned 30 years old yesterday.

I have no husband.

No children.

Two failed businesses.

No life outside the walls of this home, and now even it is turning me out.

It grates me to realize that if I had made a slightly different choice all those years ago, if I had only kept the ring on instead of taking it off, my life would have turned out so differently. But there is no way of knowing back then if that would have been the right choice, and I'm still not convinced it would. The timing was off. We were different people back then. I was needed, and he needed to prove himself out there.

This much I do know. It wasn't supposed to be like this, empty hands grasping at yesterday's dreams. Living a life sacrificed for the sake of others, a life of duty. I have tried to be patient all these years, but there is something welling up inside, reminding that there was supposed to be so much more. It's a dull ache rising in me year after year. My soul is sick, my heart in agony. I must do something to break these chains forged by my own hand. I must become something.

But now, as I stand at the threshold of opportunity, my excitement is overwhelmed by hesitation and fear and doubt. I will have to face the past, and the pain I've caused others. There's no hiding anymore, pretending like I can bury the past and it won't matter.

Ready or not, my past is colliding with my present in the form of the man I can't deny I still love, and it's time I faced the truth. My love for Isaac never died; it just smoldered all these years. If I even give it the slightest bit of encouragement, I fear it could turn into a blaze that burns more fiercely than ever.

I can't do that, because I know for Isaac, the fire died the day I gave back his ring.

_________________

If you enjoyed this chapter, please hit the star.

I just wanted to take a moment to thank you lovely folks who have taken the time to read and comment on my story. Your thoughts are so useful in helping me shape the story, and it's been a joy to share it with you! 

This dedication goes out to another dear friend and Watty award winner @JayVictor! Vic and I go way back to our early days on Wattpad. Vic's book Gilded Cage (known as Slavedays here on WP) is set in a modern Britain, where everyone must endure 10 years of slavery in service to a magically gifted aristocracy. The trilogy was picked up by Random House for a six figure sum and will be coming out December 2017- woot! You can find out more about it on her WP profile or on Goodreads. I couldn't be more thrilled for Vic and look forward to celebrating and holding the book in my hands!  

And for those interested, here are a few visual interpretations of the Cowherd and Weaver Girl story.