Beth

Monday morning, I sleep in. The extra rest feels luxurious. When I wake fully, I remember Sophie's accident and my mood dampens. It feels strange to sleep in Sophie's large house alone. While she was here, I never felt like an outsider. I do now.

The deadlines are not so strict now that the competition dates have been extended indefinitely. I'm glad Solaire is willing to work with Sophie. After working so hard on her product, she deserves the chance to prove herself in the final round. I have to admit a certain amount of jealousy when I saw the improvements Isaac helped her make on her clothing line. I can't decide which one bothers me more—the outcome or the extra time she got to spend with him.

The doorbell rings with a delivery—a gorgeous bouquet of two dozen red roses. I open the card.

Can't wait to see you again.

- Peter

At first I wonder how he knew I was staying at Sophie's house, then I remember Aunt Alice's knowing smile and realize she must be in on the surprise. A quick text confirms it.

Smiling at the note, I eat a leisurely breakfast. Peter is supposed to be at Solaire today, and I realize I'm looking forward to spending more time with him. 

I text Sophie. When she responds with a cheery greeting, I am relieved. The last time I texted her, she seemed pretty depressed. Apparently Cole is visiting her and she passes on a hello from him. I am glad to see he is following through on his promise.

The drive to Solaire is interminable. The traffic is piled up and moving at a glacier pace. When I finally enter the building and walk toward the Fishbowl, I realize I'm probably the last one to arrive. Fortunately, there's no Cole to bust my butt about it.

"Beth, can I have a word with you?" David asks as I pass his office.

"Sure," I say. David has been so busy the entire competition that I've barely spoken to him these past few weeks other than to briefly ask how the counseling was going and how his family was doing. He had replied with a noncommittal "everything's fine" response which I didn't really buy. I'm curious what he wants to discuss with me.

I follow David into his office and sit opposite him. He stands back up and paces across the room. The tension in the room is thick.

"Karrie wants a divorce," he says. He is clearly in shock and looks visibly shaken.

"What?" I say, dumbfounded. "I thought the counseling was helping."

"So did I. I mean, I knew my wife wasn't happy, but I thought it would get better. The counseling was kind of rocky from the get go. Karrie spent the whole time arguing with the counselor, and every time I tried to do something nice or implement any of the communication tools she taught us, Karrie would throw it back in my face. She said I would quit as soon as I thought I could get away with it. I had no idea she was so bitter about everything. If anything, counseling seems to just be making things worse."

"Is there still hope to turn it around?" I ask.

"I don't think so." David says. "Every marriage goes through rough patches, right? We've always worked things out. I don't get what's different now, why doesn't she want to try anymore? She's filing the paperwork for a divorce."

"I'm so sorry, David. That's rough. Do the kids know yet?"

"No. I guess I'm still in denial. I'm hoping I can talk her out of it. You know me, Beth. I usually get what I want, but I don't think it's going to happen this time. Karrie is pretty determined. She's moved in with her mom and we're taking turns with the kids. In some ways, it feels like we're already divorced."

"Have you asked her if there's anything you can do to save the marriage?" I ask.

"Yes, I asked her. She said no. I think she means it, Beth. She's doesn't want to have anything to do with me."

"How are you holding up?"

"Terrible. I hate this. Having no one to go home to. Sleeping alone. Only getting to see my kids some nights and not others. Half the nights I spend in my office so I don't have to go home to an empty house. I'm a mess. And somehow, I have to act like everything's fine in front of cameras for The Next Big Thing."

"That has to be tough," I say.

"I don't think she's having an affair. I would know. Then again, I'm gone so much, I might not. All I know is there's nothing happening on my end. Surely she wouldn't leave unless there was someone else, right?" David says.

"Not necessarily," I say. "Sometimes marriages just don't work out. Maybe if you give her space for awhile, you can work something out."

"Or she might discover she's a lot happier."

"That's a possibility."

"Do you have to be so brutally honest, Beth?"

"David, you didn't come to this place overnight. It took you years to get here. It's going to take awhile to heal it."

"Yeah, I guess. I'm just so used to being able to fix things instantly. It makes me feel so, I don't know, helpless."

"I can imagine."

"Beth, I have to know. Why did you turn me down when I asked you to marry me all those years ago? Am I really the monster my wife makes me out to be?"

I rub my eyes. Not this again.

"I explained it before, David. It has nothing to do with you. It just wouldn't work."

"It wouldn't have anything to do with Isaac, would it?"

I sit there, stunned. He figured it out!

"Why would you ask that?"

"It's obvious, Beth. I can tell by the way you two look at each other. Unless I'm mistaken. If it's not true, just tell me."

I look down. I can't deny it, and my silence betrays me.

"I can't help but wonder, Beth, were you in love with Isaac while we were at Harvard? Is that why you couldn't marry me?"

I nod.

"It was a secret. Isaac wanted me to tell you and Heidi. I was afraid my family would find out and put pressure on us to end the engagement, which is exactly what happened in the end. We were going to tell you, but we were only engaged for a day before we broke up."

"Engaged! I didn't realize it went that far. That would explain a lot. Possibly why you turned down my proposal as well?"

"Yes, I suppose it would," I agree. "You were a great catch, still are, David. I was already in love with Isaac, and it wouldn't have been fair to you."

"I guess it makes me feel a little better you didn't turn me down for other reasons, but I wish I had known back then. Do you still love him?" David asks.

"It's...complicated," I say.

"Nothing complicated about it. Either you do or you don't."

I look David square in the eye.

"Just because you love someone doesn't mean you can make it work."

David sighs.

"Don't I know that. Still, just because things are miserable between Karrie and me doesn't mean it has to be that way with you and Isaac. Have you told him how you feel?"

"If you haven't noticed, he's dating Sophie right now."

David waves his hand.

"No offense to Sophie, but I can't see her with Isaac long-term. She's a party girl! Can you really imagine her embracing Isaac's life? Carrying her little dog in those outfits all over Africa? Traveling to places with no indoor plumbing? Those two just aren't not compatible. Sophie may think she can change him and mold him into the man she wants just like she does her dog, but Isaac has a mind of his own and no woman is going to change it. Just because a girl kisses you doesn't mean you're committing anything to her. Isaac will wake up to that at some point."

"She makes him happy," I say. "And you should have seen him after Sophie's accident. He was so broken up over it."

"Who wouldn't be? It was horrible what that dog did to her. What I don't understand is if you love Isaac enough to give me up, why do you sit back and let Sophie take him? Why don't you fight for him?"

The weight of that question hits me and it takes me a moment to let it sink in. "Just because I still love him doesn't mean he feels the same way."

"Not buying it."

"Then why was Isaac so upset when he found out he was mentoring me? And why did he ask to have me removed from group? You have to admit those are pretty clear signs he wasn't interested in me."

"Really? That's what you think? And here I thought Karrie and I had communication problems.

"Why didn't you just ask Isaac? He was upset because he thought I was insulting you by not asking you to be a mentor. When I set him straight by informing him I had, he still insisted you two shouldn't work together. Something about a conflict of interest. He thought it might be perceived as favoritism since you and he helped start Solaire. Seemed like a bit of a flimsy excuse to me, but now it's all becoming clear. He didn't ask for the switch because he doesn't like you, Beth. He think he asked for it because he likes you too much. It made him nervous."

My mind feels ready to explode at this revelation. I had been so cold with Isaac, basking in the hurt of the perceived slight. And he had ... he had tried, hadn't he?

When I showed him the house. He had tried to explain it. He had even mentioned the prom. After the embarrassment of Isaac not wanting me in his group and being deemed incompetent by Cole, I had thought it a cruel joke. What had Isaac really been thinking? Was he hoping to kiss me again back then?

Then I had snapped at him when all he was trying to do was comfort me after he thought Greg was cheating on me. No wonder he shut down like that. I never gave him the chance to explain anything. If only I had known then what I know now, things might have turned out so differently. If I hadn't pushed him away, would he have even started dating Sophie?

"Well, it seems like I screwed that one up pretty good," I finally say.

"Welcome to the club. I grew up in a divorced home, bouncing back and forth between my parents. I swore growing up that my kids would never have to go through that. I still have a hard time believing that Karrie actually thinks the kids are better off with us divided. I know there are a lot of times she had to pick up too much of the responsibility, but I can change if I have to. I just wish she believed I was capable of changing."

"Keep trying," I say. "There might still be a chance, however small. Don't give up hope until you know for sure. Just support your wife as much as you can and maybe she'll believe you're serious about fixing your marriage.

"And David?"

"Yes?"

"For the record, Karrie was your first choice, the woman you loved enough to marry and make the mother of your children. You understand a woman needs to know that, right? No woman can possibly be happy knowing she was what you settled for."

David looks properly ashamed.

"I guess I had that coming, didn't I?"

"You did, but don't beat yourself up too bad. We all make mistakes. I'm trying to learn from mine. You could take the same advice you gave me. It you love Karrie, fight for her!"

"I will. I've kept you away from your work long enough. Thanks for listening to me spill my guts."

"Anytime," I say, reaching over to squeeze his hand. "And David? Thanks for sharing these things about Isaac with me. Obviously there are some things we both need to clear up when he gets back from Africa."

"You'll figure it out."

"Speaking of Africa, did you ever hear what Isaac's emergency was?"

David shakes his head.

"After his business partner left, he took off on the first flight out. I wish I could tell you more, but that's all I know."

_______________

Hit that star and show this story some love please!

It seems Beth's love life is just getting more complicated all the time. Thoughts?

RESTLESS HOPE his #7 on the hotlist this week - yay! Thanks so much for all your support. I appreciate you! As a reminder, I am now posting chapters once a week - every Friday. 

The music video is Nelly's Only Just a Dream - perfect song to reflect what David's feeling right now. Such a bittersweet song! 

Here are the roses from Peter, and my virtual gift to you. Enjoy, and have an awesome weekend!

Dedication goes out to an amazing Wattpadder roxyan23. Thanks so much for your support and awesome comments! I have so enjoyed getting to know you through RESTLESS HOPE.