"So I was wondering," Beth asks. "What were you doing in here when I brought those coats in?"

"Hiding from everyone."

Beth gives me a look of pity. I stiffen. I don't like it. All I have ever wanted from Beth is understanding, never pity.

"David was right," she says.

"About what?"

"He said you were going through culture shock."

"I didn't think I was, but maybe he's right," I say, rubbing the back of my neck.

"David asked me to show you a good time," Beth says, then her eyes widen as she realizes how that might be misinterpreted, causing her to blush and look down. I have to bite my cheek to keep from smiling. "I mean, help you ... um, adjust? This is so awkward."

It must be the devil in me, but I can't resist stepping near until we are only inches from each other. I'm so close that if I leaned forward, I could brush my lips against hers. Beth is breathing kind of ragged. The past falls away and moments of us flash through my mind—in the rain, in the ballroom, in her car, in secluded parks and shadowed corners of classrooms at Harvard. The desire to bring my mouth to hers sweeps through me. I am coming undone, intoxicated by her presence.

"Oh yeah?" I say unsteadily. "You want to show me a good time? What do you have in mind?"

Beth stares at me with conflicted eyes, but before she can respond, the door creaks open.

"I was wondering where you were!" a young girl says. "Grandfather sent me to find you."

"Run on back, Olivia, and tell him I'll be right there," Beth says.

"I'm not —" she begins as she enters the room, then she spots me and stops. I turn to see the spitting image of Beth standing in the doorway. This has to be her daughter. The thought of Beth being with another man, of them creating a child together is painful. It was supposed to be my privilege.

The girl's eyes are wide and she looks like she's afraid of me, so I smile reassuringly. No reaction. She just stares at me with a "deer in the headlight" expression.

"This is Isaac. He's a friend," Beth reassures her.

The girl opens her mouth, but then just as abruptly shuts it and backs through the door.

We are alone again, but the moment has passed.

"She's cute," I say. "Looks just like her mother."

"Actually, most people think she looks more like me."

Seeing the confusion on my face, Beth laughs.

"Wait. Did you think she was my daughter?"

I shrug.

"It's been a long time. Plenty of time to have kids by now," I say.

A wistful look flits across her face.

"No, no children. Olivia is my niece."

Why should I feel so relieved? I should be glad for Beth if she found someone to replace me and finally created the family she had always dreamed of, but I guess I'm too selfish for that. I wonder if Beth has a husband or boyfriend, but I'm not sure if asking her will make her even more standoffish. Surely Gran would have mentioned a marriage, but she might not know about a boyfriend. Thankfully, before I can make a fool of myself by asking the question, she speaks.

"You shouldn't mind that Livie didn't talk to you. She won't speak to anyone but her immediate family and a couple of friends. She was diagnosed with selective mutism as a child. She was doing so much better, until the incident at school happened and she quit speaking again."

I'm curious to know what happened, but I don't want to pry.

"When David asked me to help you, he didn't know about our, um, past. We can share a dance if you'd like, but it's totally up to you. If it makes you uncomfortable, you don't have to..."

"I would like that," I interrupt Beth before she can squirm her way out of the invitation. I'm trying to play it cool, but the thought of holding her in my arms again has my pulse racing.

She opens the bedroom door, but pauses just before she leaves me.

"Try not to hide out in here all night. Most of these people don't hold your mother's actions against you anymore, and if they do, they're fools. I know it's hard because of the way some of them have treated you in the past, but sometimes we have to allow people to change and overcome their prejudices. I do think most of them are sincerely happy for you and what you've been able to accomplish. I know I am."

Beth cocks her head and looks at me intently. She is adorable. I can't wait to dance with her.

"I'll think about it," I say. It's the best I can do.

She nods and leaves, quietly shutting the door behind her.

Her words strike me to the core. When she speaks in such a caring way, it makes things so confusing. If she cares so much, why didn't she stand up for that boy she claimed to love all those years ago? What didn't she fight for me? Why did she give back the ring after everything we were to each other? Why didn't she respond to the letter when I reached out later? Why did she give up on us? These are the questions that have plagued me for the last ten years, questions I don't dare ask because I'm afraid I might not like the answer.

Tonight, I feel reckless. Fearless. I want answers, and I won't rest until I get them.

I'm going out there to dance with Beth, and I'm going to ask her.

_________________

If you enjoyed this, please click the star!

The young actress I think might make a wonderful Olivia actually goes by the same name - Olivia Sanabia. We learn a bit more about Olivia here. Apparently she not only has dyslexia, but she also has selective mutism. I am also very familiar with this condition. Before, I mentioned I have a son with dyslexia. I have another son who struggled with selective mutism as a child. Basically, he froze up and couldn't speak no matter how much he wanted to. He couldn't even speak to his best friend! He was brilliant and years ahead in reading and writing, but because couldn't take the oral exams in school, so he was on track to flunk kindergarten. We finally compromised by me going into the school and having my son whisper the answers in my ear loud enough that the teacher could hear. He eventually got brave enough to raise his hand and mouth answers in class. I owe a lot to those teachers who encouraged him and worked with the other kids to accept him despite his differences.

The ending of the story is a happy one for my son. Partway through first grade, he finally summoned the courage to talk in class. This year, he is a sophomore in high school taking a college level speech course. He is the only kid in a class of adults, but he has been able to speak with confidence and recently got a 98% on his latest speech. He's come so far, and I'm so proud of that kid! I have researched children online who struggle with both dyslexia and selective mutism, and my heart goes out to those awesome kids who are dealing with it like Olivia.

We also allude to some mysterious incident that took place in school that caused her to digress and influenced the decision to homeschool her. Any guesses as to what might have happened?

I wanted to share a few lines from the song "Miss Missing You" by Fall Out Boy that applies so well to Isaac and Beth (you can listen to it in the media box above). 

I miss missing you now and then
Sometimes before it gets better
The darkness gets bigger
The person that you'd take a bullet for is behind the trigger
Oh
We're fading fast
I miss missing you now and then

Dedication for this chapter goes out to my Mom and Dad. Thanks for being so loyal and supportive of my writing since the beginning. I appreciate you both so much. Not only is this chapter dedicated to you, but this book is. I added an additional dedication to the first chapter, so please check it out. Love you!