Eric caressed his fingers up and down my bare arm as we laid there in our bed, spent. My head resting on his shoulder.

I don't know what came over me, to allow us to go as far as we did. But it was something Eric always knew how to do. For as long as I could remember, whenever I would consider leaving him, he would pull some romantic move, which would end with us tangled in each other's arms.

But this time I couldn't stay. I had a new apartment I was moving into on Sunday. And I was actually more excited about that than I thought. To have my very own place for the first time in my life. No parents, no roommates, no boyfriends or fiances. Just me. It was going to be scary and liberating all at the same time.

"How did your dad take the news when you told him the wedding was off?" Eric asked casually, bringing me out of my thoughts.

I skated my fingers aimlessly across his bare chest. "I haven't actually said anything to my parents yet. I was working on getting some of the deposits back first."

"Wait. You haven't told your parents?" Eric sat up, making me shift over to my pillow. "That's great!"

I sat up too, pulling the sheet with me, to keep my naked body shielded. "It is?"

Eric grinned charmingly, and quickly dashed out of bed, almost tripping over my suitcases that were moved to the floor. I watched as he threw on a pair of boxers and left the room to go out to the living area. He almost instantly returned, with a familiar ring box in hand.

Instead of getting back in bed, he went to the other side, closer to me. He knelt down, his bare knee resting on the laminate wood floor.

"Eric, what are you doing?" My face flushed as he opened the box, presenting the same ring. Not my backup ring, but the family heirloom one. There it sat sparkling at me with its large round cut diamond in the middle and oval cut smaller diamonds on both sides, resembling a flower.

I could tell Eric was nervous, probably even more nervous than the first time he proposed to me. "Victoria Rae Ashcroft. After feeling what it's like to lose you, for even just a short time, I know my life would be a disaster without you in it. Since you've been gone, I couldn't do anything right. Now I know, more than ever before, that I've been focused on the wrong dream. All this time, I should have been devoted to loving you more, the way you want and deserve. So please will you do me the honor, and accept this ring once more, and become Victoria Rae Walton?"

I was crying, but I didn't know if I was crying because the proposal was so sweet, loving, and sincere, or because now I felt more confused than ever. I smiled through my tears at him, and instead of saying yes right away, I asked, "But what about everything that's happened?"

He moved to sit on the edge of the bed, still holding the box with the ring inside. "I forgive you completely."

"Really? Just like that?" I wiped away my tears and looked at him feeling uncertain.

He sighed and nodded. "I talked to Ryan about it, and he confirmed it was all him and that he left you no choice but to continue sleeping with him; otherwise, you'd lose your job."

"He said that? Wait. When did you talk to Ryan?" Then I pieced the puzzle together myself. "Is that where you got that bruise on your jaw? And where he got the black eye and cut lip?"

"Yes," he admitted bashfully.

"But he said that he got that breaking up a bar fight," I said more to myself than to Eric.

"I told him not to say anything. I didn't think it was worth stirring up more trouble, especially if you and I were over. But now that this," he said, taking my hand in his. "Has happened, I know that we aren't over. So please, don't leave me hanging here. Will you please accept this ring and become my wife?"

***********

I banged on Ryan's door. No answer. I banged on his door again. I knew he was home, from what the doorman told me. I was about to bang on it a third time when I heard the door unlock.

Ryan opened the door part of the way, wearing only a pair of black boxers, and his hair was a mess. "Vicky? What are you doing here this late?"

"You got your black eye breaking up a bar fight, huh?" I asked, pushing his door the rest of the way and rushed past him.

"Come on in," he said in a sarcastic tone.

His apartment was dark, with only the light above the front door and the one in the hallway on. I figured I probably woke him up since it was almost midnight, but I knew this couldn't wait. I knew I couldn't wait.

"Why didn't you tell me Eric did that to you?" I pointed at his eye, which was almost completely healed, then crossed my arms, waiting impatiently for an answer.

He closed his door and shifted his body to lean against the side table. He didn't seem to care how I was looking at him and just responded nonchalantly, "He asked me not to."

"Did you go see him?"

"No."

My blood was starting to boil at his vague responses. "You're going to have to give me a little more detail than that, Ryan."

He combed his fingers through his hair as he took a deep breath in and then out again. Now appearing even more relaxed and calm then he was a moment before. "He was hanging out downstairs when I got home from Connecticut on Sunday night. As soon as I stepped out of the car, he charged at me.

"We both threw a few punches, before the driver and the doorman rushed over to break us up. Then after they thought we had both calmed down enough, Eric came at me again, which is when he caught my lip."

I couldn't believe what he was telling me. It didn't sound like Eric to be so aggressive. Then again, Ryan was good at making even the nice ones pissed enough to want to hit him.

"So when did you two talk exactly?"

"After Eric finally calmed down, I invited him up for a beer and a pack of frozen peas. So he came up, we talked things out, the end."

I knew there was more to the story then he was telling me. I was determined to know. I had to know.

Just as I was about to respond, my ears perked as I heard footsteps approaching. They were coming from the hallway that led past the kitchen to his bedroom. I turned to see a curly redheaded woman, wearing only her bra and underwear, gliding in. It took me a second to see her clearly and then realized it was Heather, from work. The same Heather that I had caught giving Ryan a blowjob on my first day.

"Oh, Ryan? What's taking- Oh! Vicky! Hi!" She greeted, suddenly feeling very self-conscious for being practically naked.

"Hi!" I responded sternly, then turned to glare back at Ryan.

Though he didn't deserve it. It wasn't like he was my boyfriend, and I knew I had no right to react the way I was, but I couldn't stop myself. I had already been through too much that day, what with packing up my things, sleeping with Eric again, and having him propose. Again.

"Heather, just give me a second," Ryan said in a demanding voice.

She recoiled and turned back around, heading back in the direction of his bedroom. As soon as I heard the door close, I knew I had to leave.

"I'm sorry I interrupted you. I'll let you get back to...whatever it was you were doing." I walked to the door, but Ryan was still leaning on the side table, and wouldn't move out of the way. "Will you please move so I can leave?"

Ryan studied my face as if searching for the answers to the meaning of life. "Why did you really come here tonight, Vicky?"

Knowing he wouldn't move until I talked, I turned and leaned back against the door of his coat closet.

"Eric asked me to marry him again. Even after everything that's happened. Can you believe that?" I looked him in his beautiful eyes, which were still studying mine. If anyone else ever looked at me that way, I know I'd feel self-conscious and awkward, but with him, I didn't want his eyes to let go of me. "And I guess I just came here tonight to find out if there was a reason why I shouldn't say yes."

We stood there for a moment, locked in each other's gaze. I was hoping he'd say something. His eyes suddenly stopped searching mine, and it seemed like he was looking past me at the plain closet door. "You should marry Eric."

The one chance he had to tell me for himself that he wanted me to choose him. Not like he did in the drunk voicemail, or through word of mouth from Adam that he was in love with me. But from his own sober self, standing in front of me. Instead, there he was telling me in a clear and calm tone to stay with Eric.

Without saying anything more, he opened the door for me. No longer blocking my exit. I stared at him for a moment longer, before I nodded and left without saying goodbye. Knowing any words that I had to say would be meaningless then.

I stepped off the elevator and walked out of Ryan's building, saying goodnight to the doorman. I hailed a cab, hoping that Ryan would come rushing out in his boxers, claiming his unwavering feelings for me. But this wasn't one of my soap operas, and he wasn't coming after me this time.

As I climbed into the cab to head back to Sasha and Becca's, I texted Eric with a simple one-word response, "Yes."

Figuring he was asleep and wouldn't see my response until the morning, I was almost surprised, yet not surprised at all, to see him calling me right away. I answered and could immediately hear how happy he was on the phone. He begged me to move back in with him and that he'd pay me back the deposit I had put down on the new apartment.

Staring out the cab window, feeling torn, I watched the snow start to fall. I knew the right thing to do was to move back in with Eric, but I also felt that maybe having our own space, at least until we were married, would be a good idea. Not wanting to live in lies anymore, I told Eric what I was thinking. Again he surprised me by being understanding. 

I invited him to join Sasha and me the next morning, so he could see the apartment. To which, he, of course, accepted enthusiastically.

We disconnected as the cab pulled up to Sasha's apartment building. I paid the driver and got out. Instead of going straight into the apartment, I sat down on the freezing top stoop and watched the snowfall. It didn't really stick to the wet pavement yet. Though, I knew that by morning there would be pockets of white pillows around the solitary trees that stood along the sidewalk.

As I watched the snow float gently to the ground, I began to process everything that had happened between Eric and Ryan. 

Am I making the wrong choice by staying with Eric? I know I have feelings for him, but am I staying with him solely out of convenience? He deserves to be loved by someone who loves him completely. I know now that my feelings for Ryan are more than just filled with lust.

Regardless of what Adam said, I don't think Ryan could ever really open his heart to truly be in love with someone. And with that thought in mind, I started to cry.