"Where to next?" Ryan asked as we climbed into another cab after I had finished signing all the paperwork to get the ball rolling on moving into my new apartment.

I didn't realize how much time it had taken us. I knew I had only planned to take two hours for lunch, which meant we only had thirty minutes before I had to be back at work. The drive alone from the apartment building to the florist would take at least fifteen minutes, with the amount of mid-day traffic.

"Back to the office. I have to get back to finish the forms for the school, so it'll be finalized and filed tomorrow."

Ryan turned to see me out of his good eye. "Are you sure? Like I said, I told Adam we were at a job site. He knows that can take hours."

As much as I really wanted to go see the florist, I didn't want to waste time during the day, only to have to stay later to finish my actual work. "It's fine. I can call the florist and reschedule."

Shit! I couldn't believe I let it slip. I could see Ryan's eyebrow trying to rise with his curiosity, but it clearly hurt when he tried. Instead, he turned his attention to the cab driver and gave him the address to our office. Then he sat back and looked out of his window, while I turned and looked out of mine.

The taxi driver drove down one busy street after another. We didn't drive more than a few feet before he'd slam on his brakes or honk his horn loudly at the other cabs and cars that would cut in front of him. Only in New York City would there be a shouting match between our cab driver and a pedestrian that he almost hit, who tried to cross the street as we were making a right turn.

We were less than five blocks away when we were caught in a heavy traffic jam, due to lane closures. Construction workers had blocked off part of the road as they were trying to dismantle some scaffolding off a newly renovated building. Not one of our builds, but it was still exciting to see the process. Working on the planning side of construction and then seeing it in real life was always fascinating to me.

"Hey," Ryan said, grabbing my attention. "Since we're so close to the office, how about we just walk the rest of the way? I don't see us moving from this spot for at least another ten minutes."

He was right too. I nodded in agreement. He paid the cab driver the price that was on the meter and added a little extra for good measure, before opening his door to step out. I scooted over and stepped out to the busy sidewalk. A random man charged past us, to claim the now available cab, and in the process knocked my shoulder, which made me bump into Ryan.

"What the hell!" Ryan yelled at the man as he shut the door.

I could see he was clenching his fists, trying to resist acting out on his anger that was clearly visible in his face. "Ryan! It's fine, really. This stuff happens all the time."

He took in a long deep breath, and as he exhaled, his body relaxed, and he fists opened. He apologized for overreacting, stuck his hands inside his coat pockets, and started walking through the crowd towards the office.

We walked down the first block in silence. I didn't really know what to say or if I really wanted to say anything. I could tell Ryan was lost in his own thoughts about something. Part of me wanted to know what it was, but the other part of me still didn't care.

We came to a halt as we approached a crowded corner. I glanced at the other New York yuppies who stood around us, also waiting for the light to change, to allow us to cross the street.

"So I know it isn't really any of my business. But are you and Eric completely over?"

I had a feeling he was trying to put the clues together, with us going to the apartment and me saying something about the florist. "I don't know," I admitted. Which was true. Even though I knew I gave him back his ring, there was still a sliver of uncertainty and lack of closure that plagued my mind.

Ryan nodded at my response, as the light changed, allowing us to finally cross. We weaved through the mass of people that were coming from the other side of the street. If anyone was watching from their office window above, it would look like we were all doing a line dance. Or imitating a school of fish swimming artistically in two directions. Looking like organized chaos.

As we reached the other side of the street, Ryan and I fell into stride again as we continued walking.

"I really am sorry for coming between the two of you like I did."

I tilted my head to look at him. I was on the side where his bruised eye was, so I could not clearly see his expression, but I could tell his words were genuine.

I sighed. "As much as I would love to put all the blame on you, I played a big part in fucking all this up. Perhaps even more than you, since I was the one engaged and should have been able to control my urges better."

As we neared our office building, Ryan slowed to a stop, causing me to turn to look him in the eye. "Was?"

"What?"

"You said 'was the one engaged,'" he repeated what I had said.

I didn't even realize I had referenced my relationship status in the past tense until he said it back to me. I nodded. "I thought me getting my own place would have been a pretty big clue for you."

"And the thing you mentioned about going to the florist?"

"Yep," I confirmed.

I could see his expression in his one eye change from remorseful to hopeful to confused to understanding. "If there's anything I can do to help you get through this, please let me know."

I appreciated his offer but assured him that this was something I needed to deal with on my own. I told him that I held no hard feelings against him and that whatever was in store for me, and my future with Eric was never because of him.

Ryan looked almost relieved at me letting him off the hook. And with that, he went to hail a cab to go home, while I made my way back up to the office, to finally get back to work.

************

By the end of the week, I received the keys to my new apartment. Now all I had to do was get back to my old apartment to get my clothes, and the rest of the items that belonged to me. I had messaged Eric during the week, asking him when I could get my things. He only responded with a simple text stating I could go there on Saturday while he was at the gym.

So on Saturday, I entered my old apartment one last time, with my empty suitcase in tow. It was so much cleaner than it had been the last time I was there. I was glad to see there was no longer a trash heap in the kitchen, and the sink was empty. Looking around the apartment, I reflected on all the happy memories that happened there.

I still remembered moving into it after graduation. Eric and I fell in love with it at first sight. It was so big and spacious, and it felt like a great home to begin our lives as a couple. I remembered when we went furniture shopping together and picked out the rug that still laid on the floor by the couch. Our tastes were so similar that it didn't take much persuasion to get anything I suggested.

I smiled at the memories as I opened the door to the bedroom and placed the suitcase on top of the perfectly made bed. Staring at all the clothes that were on my side of the closet was suddenly overwhelming, and my smile quickly evaporated. There was no way I was going to be able to fit it all in one suitcase. Then I recalled that I had another suitcase stored away in the front closet.

As I made my way back into the living room and opened the door to the closet, the front door started to unlock. I backed away as the door swung inwards, just missing me.

"Oh shit, Vic!" Eric clung his hand to his sweat-soaked shirt. "You scared me."

"I scared you? I thought you were still going to be at the gym. What are you doing back so soon?" I asked, noticing that his appearance was back to normal, minus a black-and-blue mark on his jawline, but didn't want to ask about it.

"I decided to go for a run instead." He closed the door and walked over to the couch to remove his sneakers.

I grabbed the extra suitcase from the closet and closed the door. Even though I wanted to continue getting my things, I also wanted to respect Eric and not do it while he was there. Especially if it made him uncomfortable in any way. "Do you want me to come back another time?"

He stood and placed his sneakers with the rest of the shoes by the door. "No. It's fine, really. I'll just take an extra-long shower while you're packing your things."

With that, he walked back through the bedroom to the bathroom, closing the door behind him. As I followed after him into the room, I heard the shower turn on. I breathed a sigh of relief that it went so smoothly.

I tried rushing through the process of filling my suitcases up, but I didn't realize how much crap I had until I attempted to pack it all. By the time I heard the water of the shower turn off, I had finished packing up the suitcases and was trying to maneuver the lids so the zipper would zip all the way around.

The bathroom door opened, and steam came billowing out into the room as Eric stepped through, wearing just a towel around his waist. I couldn't help but stare at him. Though I knew we were over, I knew he was still a handsome man. I smiled, thinking about how it wouldn't take him long to find someone else. I was shocked that the thought even crossed my mind and didn't seem to bother me. That's how I knew, at that moment, that I made the right decision.

Eric caught me gawking at him and smiled gently. "Do you need help zipping that up?"

"Oh, um, if you don't mind. That'd be great, thank you." I nodded and stood back to give him room.

"So, are you moving in with Sasha and Becca permanently now?" He asked casually as he effortlessly zipped up the first suitcase.

"No. I got my own place, actually. It's in Queens, right by the East River."

I couldn't help but watch his back muscles flex as he zipped up my second suitcase. "Oh, that's a nice area." He turned to face me now. "I'd love to see it sometime."

"I'd -" Before I could finish my sentence, Eric leaned in and kissed me.

At first, I didn't know how to respond. I wanted to kiss him back, but there was no amount of affection that I could show, that would make everything that I did just disappear. I knew it wouldn't be fair to him to let it continue. No matter how much I felt we needed some form of real closure.

I pulled back from his wanting lips and looked at him with a caring gaze. "I can't do this. I have to go."

I started moving past him, but he took my hand in his, and with a desperate gaze, pleaded, "Please don't."