Izuku waved Eri goodbye after handing her a candy apple, glad he got to see her today. He pulled out his phone on his way back to the dormitory, trying to catch up to all the messages that had popped up while he was saying his goodbyes to Eri. It always blew up whenever someone new got added.

EarphoneJack🎵: Okay so let me get this straight
EarphoneJack🎵: Our lives have been rewinded by a tempered version of Eri's quirk
EarphoneJack🎵: And unlocking core memories of everyone who was involved in the blast also unlocks memories that shouldn't even exist anymore??

Chargebolt⚡️: Basically yeah

Ingenium💨: We've been collecting data on Jikan for a while now, but there have been no serious break-throughs as of yet
Ingenium💨: Except Izuku's trigger theory and Katsuki's chance theory

Dynamight💥: Yeah well that chance theory is fucking trash now anyway

RedRiot♥️: Come on don't be too hard on yourself man!!
RedRiot♥️: I mean nobody could've expected what happened

Uravity🙃: All our actions have consequences
Uravity🙃: Toga took things too far

EarphoneJack🎵: I still can't believe she's actually
EarphoneJack🎵: You know

Creati⚜️: We're all shocked about the way things turned out
Creati⚜️: But we can't change the past, the only thing we can do is look forward

Chargebolt⚡️: I mean aren't we changing the past right now tho??

Creati⚜️: That's not the same

She was right, it wasn't the same. The way they did things and the way Toga- Himiko handled things- Izuku tried not to think about her if he could help it. She was a villain, yes, and she'd been a giant pain in the ass throughout his entire high school career and even far beyond that. Heck, she'd even been involved with Jikan! But that didn't mean he wanted her dead... Izuku truly believed that no one was beyond redemption. Or at least, like, 95% of people. There were exceptions to every rule, you know?

He sighed, not wanting to read their discussion on the whole yakuza raid, deciding he'd be filled in later if it had been anything important. Instead he tried to enjoy his little walk back to the dorms. Alone. With his thoughts. Oh this was just great, wasn't it..? He was spiraling in no time at all, back to overthinking every little thing, every possible outcome of every possible move the League could make next- That they themselves could make next. They may be heroes, but they're not immune to the consequences... Izuku wasn't even sure how Sir's life would go from here on out...

Nobody bothered to stop him when he walked in and through the common room. No, everyone was way too excited over the school festival, still buzzing with energy even after a whole day of performing and cleaning and walking around campus. They were too busy chatting with one another to notice him, and if they did, he wasn't important enough to disturb the flow of the conversation they were having. Izuku didn't mind though, not when he was in one of those moods at least.

Izuku shut his door as quickly as he opened it, paranoid of having anyone else see what's inside. It wasn't just his hero merch- No, it had never been about his hero merch. Most of it was stuffed in the back of his closet now anyways. No poster or banner could cover up whatever he had going on. Yeah, if his friends had called him a conspiracy theorist before, they'd freak out if they saw his room now. It was a mess of papers and photos and sticky notes and threads of string that made it difficult to move around. Possible timelines, possible interferences, plans, strategies- Just everything he could think of.

It was in one simple word: chaos.

And it perfectly resembled his current state of mind.

Izuku made his way through the mess with practiced ease, taking out one of his notebooks and instantly scribbling down his thoughts. It was the only way to let it all out, to stay sane while his thoughts ran rampant and his anxiety spiked. He honestly hadn't felt like this in a long time. No, it had only been one time, to be exact. And he'd reacted to it in a similar fashion: by running away and trying to do everything on his own. He didn't want anyone else getting hurt, didn't want things to change and cause them harm.

Back in high school, he literally ran away from everything and tried to take on the world in a physical way by fighting villains and saving civilians. This was different. This was a mental battle, a battle of wits and smarts and foresight. Of planning ahead and taking every single detail into account. But Izuku was still running, still shutting everyone out, pushing them away, trying to do everything on his own. It was different. But in a way, it was the exact same. And he was hurting. Hurting even more than he did back then.

Izuku trembled as he wiped away his tears, trying to keep his hands steady and his writing legible. It wasn't working though... Nothing was working! He gripped the page, wrinkling the paper and ripping it from his notebook. He hated this! Hated himself! Hated that he was hurting and knew he could stop if he just asked for help like a normal person! But he couldn't! Something inside him was just...blocking him from getting help, from talking to someone about it. Maybe it was shame? Something similar? Ugh, that just made it sound like he had an addiction of some sort!

Silent curses filled the room as Izuku balled up the paper and threw it to the other side of the room. His vision blurred as tears took over and he hit the ground. He had to be careful not to wreck his flooring. His classmates would definitely hear that and he didn't want any of them to find him in this state. And as if to rub it in even more, Float started acting up, causing him to get tangled up in his own threads and string of thought. The more he tried to move and free himself, the more he got wrapped up, pulling things down from his walls and making a giant mess in the process. The fact he was still bawling his eyes out wasn't helping either!

The knock on his door made him freeze up instantly, as if time stopped moving. His body was tense and still, floating soundlessly in the air, wrapped up in string. Someone was there, on the other side of his door. They were expecting an answer, one Izuku couldn't give without losing a grip on himself, without having his voice giving away just how wrecked he actually was. If he just stayed perfectly still, then maybe... Maybe they'd think he wasn't here? Maybe he could get away unscatched..?

"Izuku? I know you're in there."

Kyoka. Of course it had to be someone with a sound related quirk!

"...Are you okay in there?" she asked, which made Izuku flail around even more. Float stopped working and he fell back onto the ground, taking all the string and a big part of the papers and sticky notes with him.

"I'm fine!" Izuku called out, quickly trying to shed all the threads from his body. "I, uhm, I fell! But I'm fine!"

"Oh, uhm, okay..?" Kyoka said slowly. "Anyway, can you let me in? I still have some questions about this whole...situation and the others said you're the person to talk to."

"Right! Uhm, give me a second!" Izuku called out, ripping some tissues from an All Might themed tissue box and wiping his face. God, his eyes must be so red right now, there was no way she wouldn't notice he'd cried. If she hadn't heard him already, that is. Shit. he stumbled over to the door, his hand lingering above the handle. What was he even doing? He couldn't let her in, he couldn't let her see this mess! He'll just have to come up with an excuse. Yeah, he could do that!

And so he opened the door, a little tiny bit, slipping outside before closing the door behind him.

"You had questions?"

"Dude, your clothes are a mess," she pointed out with a frown. "What happened?"

"I fell, it's no big deal," Izuku shrugged, quickly picking off a small piece of string from his sleeve. "It's a mess in my room right now so you wouldn't want to talk in there! I mean, I'm- It's uh, well, I'm- Float is acting up and so it's really hard to, you know, uhm-"

"Are your quirks manifesting already?" Kyoka asked surprised, looking thoughtful for a moment. "Now that I think about it, you did use Blackwhip back at the licensing exam..."

"Yeah, it's been...something," Izuku chuckled. "Knowing how to control them and actually controlling them- It's different."

"I can imagine," she said. "...Are you sure you're okay though?"

"I'm fine!" Izuku said, maybe a little too loudly, too quickly, and that didn't go unnoticed by his friend. "Anyway, questions! What were you going to ask me?"

//\\
\\//

He normally didn't wear make-up, but drastic times asked for drastic measures. He'd stolen some from Momo, only because Izuku knew she was rich and she could literally make more on the spot. She wouldn't miss it, and Izuku didn't want anyone to worry. You see, his eye bags were truly starting to rival Shinsou's and his skin was probably a little paler than it should've been. Izuku could admit he had trouble sleeping and maybe he was falling a little behind in class, but it wasn't a big deal! He could handle this much no problem!

He just needed some make-up so his friends wouldn't worry about him, that's all! And it's not like he didn't sleep, no, he wouldn't be having these awful flashbacks if he didn't... Images of the past, memories that weren't his own. The lives of the vestiges that came before him, their biggest regrets, their lowest moments, their deaths. Staying awake was better than sleeping. Yet that left him alone with his thoughts more often than not and, well, let's just say his room had gotten worse over the course of the last few days...

Izuku wasn't going to let this hold him back though! No, he was still going to be the best hero he could be, he was still going to save everyone- had to save everyone. It was his duty, his purpose, and he'd die before giving up on it. He managed a smile when he looked around at everyone else, seeing them dressed in their new winter outfits. Today was one of the first joint training sessions they'd had with 1-B, and he was excited to see Shinsou in action too.

"What are you staring at huh?" Katsuki teased, flashing his boyfriend a grin. Izuku only rolled his eyes.

"I wonder if we'll be on the same team again," Ochako said from Izuku's side, completely ignoring Katsuki's comment. "Maybe we won't even be up against Hitoshi this time around."

Right, chance theory. Even if their teams were miraculously the same, Shinsou still had to pull numbers to see which teams he'd be joining. The chances of everything turning out the same was almost zero... At least Izuku wouldn't lose control over himself this time around, right? So things could be worse, considering.

"You're not looking very excited, Shoto," Momo said. "I thought you were looking forward to this?"

"Endeavor is being a pain in the ass right now," he muttered. "If it wasn't for him almost dying the other day, I wouldn't even be answering his messages."

"He's trying to be better," Izuku told him. "You know that."

"That doesn't make family dinners any less awkward," Shoto sighed. "And I don't really want to talk about it, so can we please drop the subject?"

"Of course, we don't want you to feel uncomfortable around us!" Tenya nodded. It didn't take long for 1-B to arrive after them, and soon the special guest was announced. Of course a lot of them already knew who this special guest was going to be, but Izuku couldn't help but be thrilled and excited once he saw Shinsou walk up to them with that same old bored look on his face. For a moment he compared it to the face Izuku saw in the mirror each morning, and damn, his eye bags really had gotten bad, hadn't they?

"I'm not here to make friends," he stated, ending his little self-introduction. Shoto rolled his eyes at that and Katsuki snorted. Yeah right, friendship was inevitable when facing class 1-A. After that, the teams were announced. They were different from the teams they had last time, which wasn't all that surprising. Izuku found himself in the fourth team with Ochako again, but this time their other teammates were Fumikage and Sato. They weren't facing Shinsou either.

Izuku's team would face Shishida, Tsunotori, Tsuburaba and Kodai from class 1-B, while Shinsou was paired up with team 2. He was in team 3 on 1-A's side, so he'll have back-to-back battles this time around. He was in Shoto's team, so Izuku was sure he'd be okay even if he was tired.

"Alright, first teams make your way to your base!" Vlad king yelled after the teachers explained the rules. Class 1-A's first team consisted of Ojiro, Koda, Sero and Tsu, while class 1-B's team existed of Kendo, Tetsutetsu, Tokage and Bondo. Izuku wasn't sure how this would turn out. Of course he knew his classmates were tough, but Kendo was a strong opponent. She was analytical, observative, and had her fair share of strategies to take down her enemy. But the other team had more mobility overal, and with Koda's quirk they could supervise the area and tell where the enemy was hidden. It all depended on how long the fight would drag on.

Izuku found himself getting excited. Maybe this whole 'everything that's up to chance remains up to chance' thing wasn't so bad? Now he'll get to see different battles, other fighting styles and strategies. It could be really interesting! And since fate had set it up this way, he wouldn't have to worry about consequences or outcomes. No, he could relax, even if it was just a little bit, and let himself get lost in the analytics of it all.

A/N Gonna start uploading twice a week from now on XD