Lisa

Broken? No, I'm not. Depressed? No, I'm not. Sad? No, I'm not. Hurt? No.

I'm more than that.

I'm close to losing my sanity. Thinking of reasons why he replaced me with someone so easily. So effortlessly.

Did I not love him enough?

Or did I love him too much?

Maybe he didn't really love me. Maybe I was just a past time girlfriend for him. Maybe I was nothing but a 3-year girlfriend to him who bored him to death.

"Pokpak, answer my calls. I'm getting worried." I heard the voice mails that Bambam left on my phone that was placed on top of my bedside table.

My phone buzzed again, "Don't do something stupid. You're too good for him. Keep that in your mind."

And again, "Ignore the haters, Pokpak. They're just a bunch of insecure breathing trashcans." Bambam's voice echoed in my room.

"If you're hearing this, don't think about him. Don't blame yourself. Don't do it, Pokpak. Just... go play with Leo or Luca or something. Please." He begged on the voice mail.

That was the last beep from him when the voice mail ended. My room went completely silent. I stared at the ceiling, doing the exact opposite of what Bambam told me in the last voice mail.

I'm getting a lot of attention these days. Bad ones, I might add. Koreans aren't impressed in my looks, my talent, my efforts, everything.

I don't really care.

All I care is how Jungkook sees me. How I always made him proud with every comeback. How he's always cheering for me in instagram with his dummy account. How he stood up for me against the haters and how he's very supportive.

But... what's the point? He also turned his back against me.

Maybe the reason why he broke up with me was because I was too much to handle. I had a lot of things going on. And since female idols are a sensitive image, every little mistake we do is flocked on by the public. Maybe he didn't want to be a part of that.

Yeah, that's probably it.

"Lisa." My door swung open, revealing Jisoo unnie by the door.

"Are you ready?" She asked me.

I slowly nodded, "Yeah."

"Let's go." She smiled at me.

I followed suit and we went to YG building immediately to discuss our next comeback. I couldn't even believe he's actually gonna give us one after D4. It was a little long hiatus for us. Or more like... imprisonment.

"You're gonna have your comeback by the start of April. You got five months to prepare." PapaYg started.

The four of us gasped, "Really?! I mean... What about our tour?" Jennie unnie asked.

"It's still gonna happen. You can still prepare for your comeback while you're doing your tour. Unless, you don't wanna have a comeback at all—"

"We do! We'd love to, Sajangnim!" Rosé cuts him off.

"Good. Keep that perseverance in your heads. Now Teddy, what do we have for Blackpink's comeback?" PapaYg turned to Teddy Oppa who was just seating across us.

"I made a marching military type of music. It's kinda like D4 but this ones a little darker and has more bass. So, obviously, the rapline should snap on this one. Lisa, Jennie. Can you do it?" Teddy Oppa turned to us.

Me and Jennie Unnie immediately nodded.

"I'll give you guys the whole month to give me your lyrics. Or any lines you want in your music. I can get inspiration from it because I only have the concept. It still depends on how you guys want it to turn out." Teddy Oppa continued, we all nodded obediently at him.

The meeting is finished, we all went home to do the task that was given to us. Writing the lyrics of our songs wasn't really easy especially when we're forced to do so and get no credit in return.

But still, we debuted as artists so we could do this much even though it's taken for granted.

I sat on my study table and I stared at the blank paper in front of me. I held my pen, not knowing what to write because my mind isn't functioning at all.

Sure, I'm happy. It's a comeback we're talking about. And Rapline should snap. But...

How can I write at my state?

I couldn't get rid of him out of my mind.

How am I suppose to write for blinks if my number one fan and inspiration is long gone?

Just as tears were about to fall from my eyes, a knock came by my door. I immediately wiped my tears away.

"Lisa, can we come in?" I heard Chaeng by the door.

"Sure! Come in!" I yelled back.

Then my door swung open, revealing my three sisters holding  their note pads and pens.

For the past days, they treated me as if I didn't get dumped by my ex boyfriend, which I find relieving because I atleast knew I wasn't a burden to them even though I knew that they're worried about me a lot.

They just don't show it to help me forget about him easier.

"Have you written already?" Jennie unnie asked, settling herself beside me as the two others sat on my bed.

"No..." I simply replied.

"Me, Jisoo unnie, and Chaeyoung already made some lyrics!" Jennie proudly said.

I lowered my head, feeling a little guilty. They're such a bunch of hard working people. They came up with lyrics right away while here I am... Busy thinking about him. I feel useless.

It's starting to irritate me.

I felt Jisoo unnie's hand on my left shoulder, "We got inspired by you."

"We hope these lyrics will help you start writing your own too." And Chaeyoung puts her paper on top of my table, along with Jisoo and Jennie's unnies papers.

"And hopefully... help you lessen the pain." Jennie said sincerely.

I stared down at the three papers as they leave me behind, giving me privacy.

Kim Jennie lyrics:
Got me all messed up this love is my favorite. But you plus me sadly can be dangerous.

Kim Jisoo lyrics:
What should I do? I can't stand myself being so weak. While I force myself to cover my eyes, I need to bring an end to this love.

Park Chaeyoung lyrics:

After a sweet "hi", there's always a bitter "bye". I'm a slave to my emotions
S

crew this heartless love.

I couldn't help my tears to fall from my eyes. I wasn't crying because I'm hurt or what. I was crying because it's their message for me.

They wanted to give me comfort. They wanted to talk to me. They wanted to hug me and everything. But this is better.

Because they finally gave me the answer.

My hands automatically wrote on my empty paper like I there was no tomorrow. I wrote the lyrics so effortlessly, I myself couldn't even believe I'm writing this fast.

Lisa's lyrics:
We must kill this love.
It's sad but true.
We must kill this love.
Before it kills you too.

Cling onto the edge of the cliff if you want. With just one word you're like starstruck again. That warm nervous feeling, extreme excitement.
Felt like heaven,
but you might not get in it.

I smiled at myself as soon as I finished writing. It's as if my heart found its beat again. I felt like Shakespeare, writing a tragedy but a sad truth.

And a lesson too.

Because no matter how much it hurts thinking about him...

I think it's time to think about myself.

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Kill this Love era is one of the best era for Blackpink and Blinks. Well, except for this book. Lmao.
- satanya000

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