Song: Fuck away the pain- Divide the day

Cleaning up dead bodies doesn't bother me at all anymore. The first time that I cleaned up, I got a little queasy to my stomach but now the smell and the sight of blood doesn't even faze me at all. I wish that I could tell her what I do...but that will never happen. She would never understand that side of me.We have managed to go on several dates, mostly out to eat or to the movies. A few times he has called in the middle of the date and I have to tell her that I have to leave. She never says a word about it but I think it is starting to get to her.We managed to be together for the remainder of her senior year and I know it is time for her to leave. I wished that I could con her into staying here but she really needs to go off to college and make something out of herself.

After the ceremony, I take her out to eat. "So two more weeks and you will be out of this town like you always wanted."

She reaches across the table and grabs a hold of my hand. "I wish you would consider in going with me."She gives me that smile that makes my veins pump.

"You know I can't do that."

Her expressions dramatically changes."Because of this so called boss...it's like he owns you or something. Come on Atticus it would fun...living in New York...waking up to me every morning." Her eyes light up.

"Babe...you know I would if I could...but I can't...look I told you I would be here when you return. I will try to come visit you."

"No you won't...he won't let you go...remember...you should be dating him not me." She lets go of my hand and crosses her arms in front of her; she then sticks out her bottom lip and does that pouting expression that usually gets her what she wants...but this is something that I cannot give her.

"It's not like that." The moment I say it the phone buzzes. It's like he always knows the perfect time to screw things up.

"Go on get it...we both know who it is." She rolls her eyes and then looks off in the distance.I glare at her but when it goes back off I reach in my pocket and pull it out. Shit...he always knows how to fuck up a date. I slide it back in my pocket and she smirks at me. "You can go...I will be fine."

"I'm sorry...I really am. I should only be a few hours. I could come by later if you want."

"Whatever...just go." She puts on the best fake smile.

I pay for the food and leave. She is sitting there finishing the meal. I know she told me to go but I know deep down she is really pissed off.

When I get to the location, he is already cleaning. "There you are...finally...there are two guys in the far back room and in the kitchen there is a woman. I will finish up in here if you want to get started on one of them."

I start cleaning up the two guys in the back room. They have been dead for some hours now and therefore we can't use any of the organs. I pull out the plastic and place the bodies on top. I drag them to the bathroom so that he can dispose of them and then I go back to the room to start cleaning up all the blood from the floor.

Once done I go into the kitchen. The woman is fully clothed and looks like she was trying to escape but didn't make it to the door in time. There is blood splattered all over the cabinets and the counters. The tile floor has blood all over it as well, even deep in the cracks.I'm scrubbing up the place when he enters the room. "You're really quite tonight...everything ok?"

I look up at him and then start scrubbing some more. I let out some air. I know he is going to ask again so I tell him. "I was out with Sara...let's just say she was not happy that I had to leave in the middle of the date again."

He shakes his head. "I told you...not to fall in love...she will break you."

"I'm not in love with her like that."

"The hell you're not...that's why you are acting like this...she has gotten under your skin. I thought she was leaving anyway."

"She is...in like two weeks. She asked me to go with her." I don't look up to see his reaction.

"Oh...and you said?"

I stand up and go to the sink. "What the hell was I supposed to say...I can't go with her can I?"

"Is that what you want...you want to follow her there and then what? Atticus...this is who you are now, she will never understand it...or get it...she will take away everything you worked so hard for."I know he is right. I know that the two of us can never be together, not the way that she wants us to be. "You need a night out...we should finish up here and go down to the club."

I don't say anything. Once we are done we go home and wash up, getting all the blood off of us. I get dressed and meet him out by the car. Marcus and Ashton also go with us. We go to the club and he orders us a few drinks and a couple of girls. One stands on the table in front of us and starts to dance. I watch but don't touch. He hands me another drink. "Here...drink up my boy."

I down it along with several more glasses. He leans in closer to me. "Come with me...I want to show you something." I get up and follow him to one of the back rooms. There is a girl already in there waiting for us. He smirks. "She is my gift to you."

"Yeah...I don't need..."

He holds his hand out for me to stop. "Atticus...my boy...you need this. Come on I promise you will love every bit of it."

He walks over and kisses the girl and then walks her over to the middle of the floor. She is blonde and has the perfect tan all over. She has this little tattoo in the small of her back. I admire her smooth silky skin and then notice above her is a chain. He cuffs both of her hands then attaches them above her. She is standing there completely naked and waiting for one of us to take her.

He walks over to the wall and pulls down a whip. I watch as he slowly walks back over to her and whispers something in her ear. He steps back and whips her right across the back three times. Then turns to me and hands me the whip. "Go on...you can do this."

My hands shake as I hold the whip in my grasp. I don't really want to do this. I have never been into hitting a girl in any kind of way. I look up at him and he is waiting impatiently. He nods his head in her direction. I can't go against him so I rear back and the whip comes across her back lightly, she barely moans.

"What the hell was that...she loves this...give her what she wants." He starts to walk over closer to me but then he gets in front of the girl and holds her head up for him to look at her. "Tell him this is what you want...tell him you love to feel the pain."

She is really quite and a part me knows this is not what she wants but then she says it. "Yes...this is what I want...hit me again...harder please sir." Zane nods in my direction and under his spell I whip her again...she cries out for more and I hit her again and again until her head falls and I know she has got to be hurtng. I can't believe I just did that and I don't even feel anything for the girl. I throw the whip down on the floor beside her.

He walks over and takes her down and she falls in his arms. He places her on the bed in the room and then turns to look at me. "Now fuck the shit out of her and get over whatever the hell it is going inside that head of yours."

"I..." I want to tell him that I can't. I can't do that to Sara or this girl that I don't even give a shit for but he interrupts me.

"Just do it...now...be the man I taught you to be." He says and walks out of the room.

I turn and look at her and she is trying hard to smile up at me. "It's ok...come on let's get this over with."

I should not be doing this. I should be at the restaurant with her, taking her somewhere special. I should be making love to her...something I still haven't been able to do. I keep coming up with excuses of why we need to wait. One of the main reasons is that she hasn't turned eighteen yet and I know her parents will bust me for being with a minor. I force visions of her in the back of my head as I start to undress and then climb in bed with this random girl.  I start to touch her as if she is fragile.

"Come on...if you are going to do it at least fuck like a real man." She says and what she says gets under my skin just the right way.

And that is what I do...I fuck the shit out of her, nearly killing her. I hold her down and nearly choke her out. After I go, I get up and get dressed; I don't bother trying to make her go...this is not for her amusement...only mine.

When I walk out of the room he is standing there in the hallway. He pats me on the shoulder and we leave. How will I ever be able to explain to her about this...even if I did she would never have anything to do with me now...and maybe that is exactly what he wanted.