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Chapter 5.

My heart slowed down and I collected myself.

“thanks.” I said shimmying out of the dress.

“You’re welcome. Hurry and get home okay?”  I mumbled an okay and hung up the phone. I quickly tugged on my clothes and stepped out of the dressing room, all eyes were on me.

“Hey you alright?” Jessica and Kendall asked. I nodded and gave Brooke her phone back.

“Thanks for letting me use it.” I said grabbing the dress.

“No problem.” She smiled.

“Alright let’s pay for your dress and then head on home.” Jessica said.

“Can we stop and get something to eat? I’m starving.” I groaned.

“Sure. Let’s go chickadees!”

When we arrived back at Ashton’s house, well my house now, I was practically tackled by Ashton.

“Are you alright? You scared the shit out of me.” he murmured into my hair.

“I’m fine.” I sighed taking my bags up to my room. I set them by my suitcase that I still had to unpack. Ashton followed me into my room. He looked so concerned.

“I’m fine ashton.” I said.

“Alright, I’m just scared. Holler if you need anything.” He said walking out. I sighed heavily and began hanging up my shirts. I got most of my clothes unpacked in under an hour. I looked at the clock, it was only four thirty. My eyes scanned the large bookshelf; I smiled as my fingers traced the bindings. I picked up a soft cover book, safe haven by Nicholas sparks, seems good. I plopped onto my chair and began reading.

I read for a couple hours only because the book was just so intriguing. It was about eight o’clock when I decided to put the book down. I walked over to my closet and grabbed a pair of sweatpants and a tank top. I grabbed a pair of underwear and a bra before heading to the bathroom. The warm water felt good on my skin. My body ached all over, I stood in the shower and just let my muscles relax. I stepped out feeling refreshed. I slipped on my clothes and walked back into my room to retrieve my book. But placed on top of it was a sleek white IPhone and a pair of headphones. I picked it up and turned it on, I’m guessing Ashton set it all up already. Scrolling through the phone I clicked on music. All of the songs Ashton used to sing to me where downloaded on to it. tears threatened the rims of my eyes, but I blinked them away.

“You like it?” a voice echoed. I turned to find Ashton in the doorway.

“Yeah but really and iPhone it’s too expensive.” I said looking at him.

“Well it’s already paid for so you are stuck with It.” he said grinning.

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. Luke, Jessica and I have to go somewhere real quick and Lilly is in bed.” He informed me. I nodded and continued to explore my phone. I couldn’t figure out how to put songs on this thing. I paced in my room trying to figure it out before giving up and going to get food. I opened all the cabinets to find nothing to my liking. I sat at the counter scrolling through my phone when Calum came in.

“Hey Hayley.” He said opening the fridge.

“Hi Calum. Um, can you help me get some songs on here?” he smiled at me and sat down on the stool next to me.For the next hour Calum showed me how to work the damn thing and put a couple songs on it.

“So since you probably know so much about me why don’t you tell me about yourself?” I said to Calum. He smiled and shook his head.

“Alright where do I begin?” he said stroking his hairless chin. He told me a lot about him, he was different and he was totally sweet. He also told me Ashton and him were pretty tight and that they were practically brothers. That right there made my heart sink a bit. Rule number one of being a good sister; do not date your brother’s best friend.

“So tell me about you.” He said getting up and grabbing two sodas.

“There’s nothing really to tell.” I said tracing the rim of the can.

“There has to be something? Friends? Pets? Anything.” He said taking a long sip of his pop.

“I only have two friends back home, Richie and Whitney.”  I said smiling at their names.

“You miss them?” he asked sitting next to me.

“Yeah.”

“Hey don’t cry.” I didn’t even notice I was crying.

“Sorry, it’s just I left so suddenly, I didn’t even tell them I was leaving. They probably think Chad or Henry murdered me.” I shook my head and giggled.

“Who are they?”

“My mom’s favorite guys to bring home.” I said taking a gulp of my drink.

“oh.” Calum's eyes met mine. “Did they ever…” I took a deep breath and turned my whole body towards him.

“Once, but it wasn’t henry or chad. It was chad’s son Justin.”

“I’m so sorry Hayley.”

“It’s okay. I’m okay.” I said shrugging my shoulders. “I still can’t get the feeling of his lips on mine out of my mind, god.” I felt myself slowly loosing grip of myself, but I pulled myself together, I can break down upstairs in my room.

“You alright?” Calum asked moving closer to me. I nodded and leaned against him. His arms wrapped around me. I tilted my head a bit to get a good look at Calum. He seriously is the cutest thing ever.

“What? Something on my face?” he asked smirking. My cheeks flushed pink as I quickly looked away. “It’s getting late. You tired?” he asked. I nodded my head and began to get up.

“Allow me.” Calum said scooping me up in his arms and bringing me up to my room. He covered me with a plush blanket.

“Goodnight Hayley.”

“Night Calum.” I lay in bed for an hour, just studying the ceiling. My mind was racing with thoughts of my friends. God I miss them so much. I felt my lip quiver and that tingly feeling you get through your nose when you’re about to cry. You’re alone now, it’s okay to break down. I brought my legs to my chest and sat up in bed. I let out everything I was feeling, first it was sadness, and then it was anger, anger at my mother for bringing chad and his disgusting son home. Anger at Justin for violating me. But most of all I was mad at myself for not telling my mom. When my mom was sober she was almost back to normal, she wasn’t the worst mom in the world. She just had a problem. She could have done something.

After the feeling of anger came nothing, just the constant flow of tears. I couldn’t stop crying. Nothing was working, not trying to get my mind off of it, not breathing deeply. Nothing. I was completely stuck in the state of sobbing my eyes out. Giving up I searched for my phone. I plugged in the headphones and pressed play on How to save a life. I focused on the lyrics, the way the singer used his beautiful voice. The soft melody poured into my ears and sang me to sleep.

An hour later harsh whispers where exchanged by my door.

“Crying? Why didn’t you check on her?” a voice spat.

“She stopped crying. I thought she fell asleep.” another retaliated back. It sounded like Michael. I heard, what sounded like Ashton, huff.

“Dude don’t worry she’s fine. I peeked in on her and she had her headphones in. sleeping.” Michael said.

“Okay thanks.”

“Now get to sleep. You look exhausted.” A door creaked open and a small gasp sounded.

“Hey Lilly. You okay?” Ashton asked. I got up off my bed and peeked out of the small crack of my door. Ashton looked down at Lilly whose hair was matted with sweat and her nightgown falling off her left shoulder. I looked closer; she was wearing someone’s sweater.

“I can’t sleep. I’m scared to sleep in there alone.” She said wiping her small blue eyes. Ashton stretched his arms out towards her.

“Come on. You can sleep with me tonight okay?” she gave him a weak smile before wrapping her small arms around his neck. He lifted her up and started to make his way to his room. Lilly’s eyes caught mine; she kissed the palm of her hand and blew me a kiss. I smiled and did the same before slipping back in bed.