Peter holds you there for what feels like forever, tears silently escaping from you. You hold back the sobs as best you can and you try to push away from him once more, but he holds you tighter. You admit it's a great comfort that he isn't leaving your side, but he's entangled with all of what's going on, somehow, and that makes you want to leave him behind.

"Stop trying to pull away," he tells you gently, your hair ruffling in his words as he holds you to his chest. "You can't go through something traumatic alone."

You try to grab hold of your voice, but it comes out only as a wavering whisper. "Traumatic?"

The perfect word.

Peter sighs, loosening his grip slightly.

"Karika knows you saw what was under her sink."

Your body tenses up and the blood drains from your face. Peter brushes your hair over your shoulder, sending tingles down your arm, the pleasant feeling rivaling the terror twisting your guts.

His hand cups your cheek and his other arm loosens a bit more.

So that's why they told me I shouldn't be afraid, you tell yourself as your fear levels skyrocket. Because they knew I saw something that made me afraid. And because what was under her sink doesn't faze Peter at all...

You swallow.

He's possibly a part of it, too.

"Cora," he says gently, his fingers slightly pressuring your chin to look up at him, but you resist, clinging tighter to him so you don't have to look in his eyes. "Cora, please look at me."

Hesitant, you finally meet his eyes, unable to keep the connection for long. They skirt away and dart around the room, searching for an exit. If you needed to run—

"Cora, you'll have another anxiety attack if you don't breathe properly." His voice is so gentle, so caring...

You finally meet his eyes and a whole new wave of tears lines your eyelids as you pull away from him, his fingers barely brushing your waist and chin. Your back touches the wall and your chest is tight. You're trapped. You're trapped. You're—

"Cora," he says again, begging you to calm down as he places a hand on either side of your face and forcing you to look at him. His irises are filled with worry and with care, not anger or malice like you'd expected. "Cora, breathe. Calm down. We aren't going to hurt you."

"We?" you whisper, unable to say anything louder in fear that it might be true. You long for this to be a dream. "Why was that under there? And... we?"

There's a twinge of sadness as he searches your eyes, his mouth taut for a moment.

"I promised Karika I wouldn't tell you. She wanted to be the one to explain herself."

You shake your head, nearly breaking free of his gentle hold on you.

"I can't..." you clutch your chest as you whisper, unable to find breath. "It's too much. This is all too much."

You bring your knees up and bury your head in your arms, tears falling from your eyes as you keep yourself quiet. You feel so pathetic, so weak... You want to stop crying but you can't. Why can't I stop crying?

You lift your head defiantly and smash the tears away, meeting Peter's eyes. But the rush from trying to be strong is only temporary and your mask cracks, tears welling in your eyes again. Peter's flawless face falls and then he reaches forward to grab your hands, his fingers warm and strong as they hold on to your trembling ones.

"If you want, I can take you away from this place. If you fear her and us so much, I can give you a place to live. It would hurt seeing you leave, but if that's what you need..."

You shake your head, your heart swelling at his kind offer. "I can't leave."

"Just because this is where you woke up with no recollection of who you are, doesn't mean you need to stay—"

You shake your head again, another tear dripping from your lashes. "That's not it."

Inside your throat, your heart leaps.

"Then what is it?" He asks, desperate to help.

You hold back another deluge. "I'm trapped here."

He shakes his head. "It may feel that way, but you aren't. I promise. You'll have your memories back and you'll remember where it is you belong—"

"No," you interrupt in a choked word. You bite your lips and hold your tongue.

Have you ever thought about telling Peter?

Karika's words strike you in that moment as you watch the wheels in Peter's mind turn. Could you try to tell him? Would he believe you?

Probably not.

"What is it, Cora?" he asks quietly, unconsciously leaning closer.

Will you tell him?

"I don't—" you breathe. "I don't think I can tell you. I'm not sure if I want to or if you'll believe me..." you trail off, unable to say any more as your brain runs out of steam.

Peter's brow furrows slightly. It's his turn to be in the dark. "What do you mean?" he asks, gripping your hands a bit tighter. His fingers are rough and calloused, proof that he works hard with his hands.

You press your lips together to form a line. "It's hard to explain and..." you shake your head. "Not important right now."

Pulling your hands from his, your heart aches at the pain that shoots through his eyes. You hurt him by pushing him away emotionally.

A moment later, his face is serious, the only emotion coming through being his worry for you.

"Cora, whatever you tell me—"

"What is Karika involved in?" you ask, cutting him off. You don't want to talk about your rebooting. If you do, maybe he'll realize you aren't worth his time... If he did, would you be stuck just like Karika is?

"She asked me not to tell you."

"Does it endanger me?"

Peter hesitates and your eyes flick up to his, a knot in your throat.

"Yes," he finally says, running a hand through his hair in something similar to frustration. "But only if you stick your nose where it shouldn't be."

The last few words sound like a warning to you.

"I get the message," you respond. "But I can't be near her if I don't know what exactly could be waiting for me on the other side of the coin. If I do fall into danger, what will I be up against?"

Peter shakes his head, taking your wrists and gently pulling you closer to him so he can speak quieter.

"You don't have to worry about that because I won't let that happen."

"How are you involved with her?" you ask, another stray tear leaping to its death, splattering on the shirt Peter bought you.

His eyes plead for you to keep quiet, to stop asking questions. "Cora..."

You shake your head, pulling away slightly, but he gently tugs you back. Peter sighs.

"I worked with her father and I go to these group meetings. That's really all I can tell you."

You remember Karika's vague explanation of the meetings and become suspicious.

"What are they for?"

Peter clenches his jaw and pulls away, sitting upright and letting go of your hands.

"I can't tell you these things," he says. "Please stop asking."

"Why?"

"I want to tell you," he says through half-gritted teeth. "I want to tell you so badly it hurts; I don't understand why these feelings for you are so strong and why I feel like a slave to them."

Your heart begins to pound for different reasons, but you shove it away. "You're changing the subject."

"On the contrary, I am not," he states flatly, staring at his fist on the table. "I've known you less than a day and already I want to spill every last secret I have so that you can feel safe with me, despite what Karika demands."

"Demands?" you echo, but he continues as if he hadn't heard you.

"Perhaps this is unhealthy."

He doesn't look at you as he stands and turns to leave. Your mind begins to shut down as you see him take a step from you. You want to cry out to him, to beg him not to go, and you find yourself reaching out for him, but the words don't come out.

The door shuts behind him.

~

"Cora?"

You startle at your name, Chris staring at you from the walkway just before your table. Peter had walked out on you, muttering about how his irrationally strong feelings toward you might potentially be unhealthy. He seemed to care for you so much... How could he walk out on you like that?

You watch Chris wearily through tear-stained eyes, your face red from crying.

"Where's Peter?" you ask him, surprised your voice comes out stronger than a whisper, sounding more demanding than curious. Most of all, you're worried. Lonely.

Chris's face falls with pity as he sits across from you. "He, uh... He's going out of town for a little while. Maybe just a few days."

You clutch your sternum, struggling to breathe again. You didn't mean to make him leave. You didn't really want him to leave...

A fresh wave of tears stings your eyes, but you try to push them down, breathing deeply.

"Why?"

Chris shrugs. "He... wasn't too detailed with that. But I got the feeling it was because of whatever he feels for you."

You cover your face with your hands, leaning your elbows on the table. The sun is beginning to set, so no one is in the cafe anymore, except for you. Even the workers don't stay out behind the counters for long, ducking back into the kitchen.

"It's not my fault," you whisper to no one. "Why did he leave me?"

The words crack your heart all-the-more, and you fear you're becoming dependent on him. He hasn't texted or called, and it was bugging you more than you'd like to admit.

"I've never seen him act like this before," Chris says, making you look up after you wipe your eyes on the sleeves of your shirt. "And it looks like you've grown attached to him quickly, too."

You shrug, sniffling. In a mutter, your honesty breaks through. "He's not the only one that can't explain his emotions."

You sink down to rest your head on the table again, hearing Chris get up from his side of the table, and his overly-warm body comes to sit next to yours. Your mind drifts back to when he took you to the bowling alley and when he kissed you... and a whole new stab of sadness makes you cringe as he puts his arm around you. He hugs you tightly with the one arm, pulling you to his shoulder. Your heart beats loudly but slowly, your mind and body tired. You know you still like him, but Peter... Peter too. Is it possible to like two people at once?

Yes, but you can't love two, not in a romantic way. Not truly.

You're thrust into a memory.

You're younger, maybe a freshman in high school, and you're talking to a girl. Her face is blurry and you can't make it out, but you know she's your best friend. At least at this time.

"Yeah, but I can't choose!" She pouts, dropping her head into her hands. You shake your head.

"I told you not to cheat on him," you shrug, a pang of anger toward your friend present. She was dating this guy friend of yours but was secretly making out with this other random guy behind his back. She's infuriating and you threatened to tell the guy she's dating the moment you caught her with him behind the school.

"It's not like we're doing anything."

You scoff. "If you have to hide what you're doing from someone else, there's something wrong with the situation."

She glares at you. "What is that supposed to mean?"

You frown. "If you say you love someone and then fall for someone else after, you never loved him in the first place."

You're sucked back into the present, leaning against Chris. Your insides have grown complicated and knotted. You didn't want Peter to leave. Does that mean you like him too, or has he become your safe place, your lifeline?

"Hey," Chris says, nudging you with his shoulder. You look up at him and you're suddenly filled with guilt. His hazel eyes gleam with his reassuring smile, warming you. "Everything's alright. Karika would never hurt you."

"You know too?" you croak, still gazing up at him.

He nods. "Some of it. They keep me out of the loop because Karika wants me to be ignorant of all this." He sighs. "But I guess hanging out with her means I pick up on some things."

"Like what?" you ask, sitting up as you wipe your eyes with your sleeve. Poor thing is getting treated like a rag.

"Liiike... things I can't tell you," he says through a small, guilty laugh. "Don't worry about it. Karika will tell you when it's time, I promise. She made us promise not to say anything. Peter looked like he was about to explode when she told us these things; I'm surprised he held up so well in his condition."

"Condition?"

"I mean, like, with the way he's feeling for you," Chris corrects, scratching the back of his neck. "Man, I wish Max was here. He'd know how to make you feel better."

"He would?" You sit up and cross your legs again, leaning into the corner of the booth where it meets the wall. "I haven't met him yet. Karika said he was uptight and demanding."

Wishing you could retract your words, you make a mental apology to Karika.

Chris laughs. "Nah, not really. He's really possessive if he gets a girlfriend, but other than that, he does nothing but joke around. Every time he opens his mouth, he says something unexpected. Which is whyyy," Chris drags, leaning closer to you for effect, "I am his replacement when he's gone. If he's the glue, I'm whatever can temporarily replace glue. Like sticky-tack, or that stuff on the back of a Post-It note," he grins. "But I can't smooth things over in the group for long by myself."

You nod, thinking about the fiasco of this morning. "You and Peter don't seem to get along very well."

"Well, that—" his face turns red and he rubs the back of his neck, uncomfortable. "That—that was because you showed up and he—you—" He pauses, smiling sheepishly. "Forget it."

You furrow your brow, curious. "What?"

He shakes his head, determined. "Nope. If everyone else is allowed to have secrets, so am I."

You frown, even though you feel like laughing the tiniest bit. He's trying to make you feel better.

You let him have it, a bit of your smile seeping through. His own smile widens and you see triumph in his eyes.

"But why does everyone have so many secrets?" you ask him, your frown returning. "What is the point?"

"Well," Chris says, running his hands over his jeans. "Most of the time secrets are kept so that someone will remain aloof and unhurt by its burden. Other times, it's because no one will believe them if they shared it with someone. Then there are some who are ashamed of something, so they keep it hidden within them. There are many reasons, but I'd be careful poking around in Karika's past." He sighs, his face falling grim suddenly. "Or any of ours, either. We may be one way around you, but in reality, when duty calls, we are forced to be another way, almost like someone else entirely."

You stare at him, unblinking as a hardness takes over his eyes. He's gone into his head.

"Even you?" you ask, your heart trembling once.

His frown deepens. "Even me."