The engagement party was in full gear when he arrived. It was a chinese engagement party where all the decoration was in red and gold, and since it was held inside of the biggest ballroom in one of the most prestigious hotels in the country, he thought he would swing by to check if everything was according to his standard. 

Oh, he knew that his assistant could handle everything here, but just in case. Besides, he knew the groom. He was an old friend from college, and he invited him to come and meet their old friends and classmates. 
Wang Yibo was not a sentimental man. 

He'd rather focus on the present and the future, not the past. Especially when his past was not something that he wanted to remember.

He was just about to leave, when Ji Li, his right hand man, walked toward him with a face that could scare the bravest of the vikings off.

"Boss, we got a problem." He dragged him aside and spoke in a low tone. "That bastard Su She didn't come and we need someone to perform now." 

Su She was their bartender for today's event, and the one they've booked to give the special performance in this party. But he was as reliable as the wind, and that's why he came to check, supposedly.

"What about Song Lan?"

"He was in another party across town."

"Xue Yang?"

"He had the flu since yesterday, that's why we use Su She, remember?" Ji Li frowned.

"Fuck, no one's at the Purgatory right now? Yizhou?"

"Nope, all fully booked." He looked at him. "But you're not."

He knew this was his intention from the beginning, judging from the glint in his eyes.

He looked at him, and to the empty bar, sans a few other normal bartenders, then sighed.

"I will get you for this." He shrugged off his jacket, and rolled up his shirt. Ji Li only grinned and signaled the other bartenders that their boss was the one who's gonna perform. They cheered loudly, making the crowd turn their heads to their direction, and did a double take seeing a very handsome man now take his place behind the bar, and cue the DJ for the music they've specially prepared for the performance.

The lights blacked out.

The guests were gasping and questioning if there's any electrical malfunction, when a single spotlight highlighting one particular spot in the bar. 

He was used to this, hell he did this as a mean to an end back when he was still in college. So he took a deep breath and started.

He took a bottle of his specially-blended cocktail with high-proof alcohol content and threw it up with one hand and caught it with his other hand, did a full body spin, then poured it into the already prepared shot glasses, did a little dance, then tossed the vodka bottle back up and filled another round of shot glasses, and poured it from behind with flair, then the other bartenders put a small stick in each of them.

His moves were methodical and it looked easy, while in practice, he often dropped innumerable bottles of cheap vodka before he could spin and throw correctly.
Finally he flicked the specially made gas burner and lit them up together in one big burst, and the sticks - which were actually mini sparklers - lit up cheerily.

There was a beat of silence, before everyone clapped and shouted, and some of them gave loud wolf whistles. 

Yibo took a bow, and retreated. 

But before he could go, his friend, Seungyoun, caught him and managed to drag him back to their friends. Which he hadn't seen since he graduated five years ago.

"Yibo! How are you! When I heard that Yixuan invited you, I couldn't believe it! I thought you were dead in a ditch somewhere, what with your penchant for extreme sports and all…" Elvis, with his loud booming voice, smacked Yibo on his back. Hard.

Yibo coughed, Elvis cackled.

"I guess your hand is more fatal than paragliding, dude." He gave Elvis a one armed hug. "Nice to see you too."

"So, this your gig now? Sexy bartender act? Boy, I got a hard on seeing you lit up all those sparklers." 

"And not just you, I think half of the room fell in lust with him already" Seungyoun cackled.

"You guys are so fucking disgusting" he gave him a wide grin and a punch on the arm.

"Well, we have to give Yixuan a toast, to be the first to drop dead like a fly to venus flytrap." 

They all raised their glass in mocking silence.
Yixuan, who was just making his round toward the family, came at the right time with his beautiful fiance and slapped Elvis's arm.

"Assholes, I hear you!" 

"Yixuan! MeiLi! Congratulations to you both!" They raised their glasses for the couple, who beamed with happiness.

"Thanks, guys! And you too, Yibo. Thanks for coming." He gave him a bear hug and his eyes softened. Yixuan always had a special place in his heart for Yibo, and he knew well about his past. How broken he was when he last met him under the rain five years ago.

"Thanks for inviting me, and for using my service, Xuan-ge. Although you should take the bachelor/bachelorette party package, where there's topless men and women involved." He grinned widely, followed by the wolf whistles.

"Are you going to be the one to do the topless dance thing?" MeiLi asked Yibo. "If so, then yes I would like to book your service for my bachelorette night. My single friends had been asking about you, Yibo." 

MeiLi was a very straightforward woman, and Yibo liked her.

"That can be arranged." He smiled suggestively and made a mental note to tell Ji Li to do the follow up. He wouldn't be topless, or even attending the bachelorette party of course, but nobody needs to know.

"Great! I'll tell them later." She squeezed his arm, then her eyes focused onto something behind him. "What a great timing! I'll introduce you to my cousin, who happened to be the owner of this hotel." She waved at someone. "Ge! Zhan-ge!"

Badump.

Surely there are many people named Zhan...

She walked past Yibo, to get ahold of someone behind him, and dragged him back to their circle.

"Guys, meet my lovely cousin, Xiao Zhan, he was my life saver when he offered me to use this ballroom for my engagement party when everything else was booked within years!" She faked gasp and smiled tentatively at the tall man beside her.

"Hi, nice to meet you." He offered his hand and gave the boys a firm handshake each. When it's finally Yibo's turn, his eyes softened.

Yibo felt the tip of his fingers become numb, and his hand refused to move. He felt like his tongue was plastered to the top of his mouth. He barely could breathe . 

He still remembered the last time he saw him.  

It was raining heavily, and the wind wailed outside of his apartment. He was sitting on the couch, head between his hands, and Xiao Zhan was about to leave him.

He was not above begging. Begging for him to stay. 
But with the last shred of his pride, he kept his silence. If that's what his beloved really wanted, who was he to forbid him to do his duty? Even if it meant to marry someone else. A rich heiress. An arranged marriage.

He choked on his own tears. 

He knew that this day would inevitably come, but not this soon, not when his love for him was at the peak, and not when he was about to do something for him. Something that defied everything that he stood for.

For him.

For Xiao Zhan.

But it was too late.

He still remembered his soft voice, telling him 'I love you', and kissed his forehead before he left, leaving him in a state of despair and brokenhearted.

'Why, Ge, why won't you fight for me? You said you love me, but you didn't bother to even try...'

That was five years ago.

And he was an idiot to think that he could get over him even after all this time.

"It's good to see you."

The soft voice dragged him to the present, where Xiao Zhan was standing right in front of him. 

Five years older, and more beautiful than ever.

He swallowed hard, then accepted his smaller hand. The hand he knew intimately. The hand that he used to kiss so tenderly. The hand with calluses because he stress-baked and he was clumsy with the hot pans and molds.

"Hi." His voice croaked, and he cleared his throat. "Hi, nice to meet you too."

"I love you… you're the most important thing in my life… you're my soulmate, and I'm so lucky to have found you in this life."

He needed a drink. Or two. Or ten.

He excused himself under the guise of checking his men, and walked hurriedly to the bar and signaled the bartender to pour him a stiff drink. He then swallowed it all at once, and it burned his esophagus. And brought some senses to his mind.

He knew it was irrational to get emotional over things that happened half a decade ago. He swore that he already got over Xiao Zhan, many times since that fateful night.

But here he was, standing face to face with the only love of his life, realizing that he had lied to himself after all this time.

He could never get over Xiao Zhan.

He gestured to the bartender to pour him another one, when he sensed that someone was standing beside him.

"I saw your performance. It's great. It's really really great." The unmistakable soft voice that felt like honey on his skin, made him shivered all over. "Congratulations for finally mastering that backflip flawlessly."

"Thanks." 

Of course, he was there the first 100 times he broke those vodka bottles practicing his spin and backflip.

"Give me the same." Xiao Zhan gestured to the bartender.

"How long have you been in town?" That soft mellow voice lilting in his ears, made him think of… things. Things that were not supposed to be said out loud.

"A little over a year." Yibo drank his whiskey in a gulp, and it still burned his throat, although not as bad as before.

"You should slow down. Do you need to drive yourself back?"

Why do you need to be so concerned about me? Go back to your pretty little wife.

"Why? Are you offering?"

There was a beat of silence before Yibo forced out a laugh.

"Kidding. You're the owner of the hotel, I shouldn't even ask. I'm sorry."

He knew he was being petty, and childish. But he felt his heart shattered by the concerned voice of the man he used to love. The one whom he gave his heart, body and soul to, without  asking for anything in return. Except maybe his love.

He walked out from the huge ballroom that felt too stuffy now. He needed air. He needed to smoke. He had quitted smoking five years ago, but now the urge to smoke was overpowering him.

"Yibo…" he heard the footsteps behind him.

Of course he had to follow him.

"Yibo, I- can we talk?"

He stopped so abruptly, making the other almost bumped into him.

He turned around and looked at that beautiful face, his eyes greedily sucked in all the details and finally landed on the mole under his mouth.

"Go on. Talk."

"Not here." He took his phone from his pocket. "May I have your number? Let's go out for dinner, or lunch…?"

Why? To break my heart all over again?

Yibo looked at him for a long time before he answered. 

"No."

Then he left him to call a cab.

It's been twenty minutes and he was on his third cigarette to calm his nerves. He hadn't got any cab yet. The rain poured down so suddenly and he wished hard that he was anywhere but here, when a sleek black BMW stopped in front of him.

The door to the car opened from inside revealing none other than Xiao Zhan.

"Get in."

Yibo looked around to find nothing and no one near. He tried to escape but he got nowhere else to run except going back to the hotel. 

He was in the middle of seriously considering going back inside and asked Ji Li to drive him home, when he heard the familiar chilly tone from the inside of the car.

"Get the fuck in or I swear I'll drag you kicking and screaming right now."

He forgot that Xiao Zhan could be so savage sometimes, so he put down his cigarette and got into the car instinctively.

"Where to?"

He gave him the address of Purgatory, his bar. He lived just upstairs from the bar but he wouldn't tell that to Xiao Zhan. 

Why should he? He had no right anymore.

They drove in silence, and Yibo didn't mind since his brain started pounding inside of his skull. And with the awkward silence hanging between them, he felt his eyes drooped down and finally fell asleep on the cushy chair.

He dreamt about the first time he ever laid his eyes on the most beautiful man on this planet.

The man was wearing a bespoke black suit with a Gucci black tie. There's some kind of bee pin on his left lapel. For some other people it might look tacky, but not him. He looked exquisite, like some kind of a prince with his tall, slim body and gorgeous, gorgeous face.

But what hit him first was the eyes.

It looked like a deer caught in the headlight with nowhere to run. Unlike his very calm composure.

"Whiskey, neat. Make it triple."

Even his voice had that silky quality to it, that could lull a man to do his every biddings.

"Trouble?" 

Yibo couldn't help himself while he slid the glass to the man. 

Wasn't it a bartender job to hear the tales of woe?
The man snorted inelegantly.

"You may say so."

He drank the whiskey in one swallow, then coughed.
"Refill?" He raised his brow in question.

"Yes please."

Yibo poured another three fingers of whiskey into the empty glass. 

"Thanks." 

He drank it in one gulp then smiled beautifully at Yibo, murmuring something like "you're beautiful", then passed out on the table.

He was stunned by the sudden blinding smile, then frowned at the unconscious man on the table.

There's a protocol that if a guest was unconscious, he should search for his ID and send him home by a cab or to his hotel room upstairs. So he got off from behind the table and started to pat down the man for his wallet, when a hand grabbed him rather forcefully, surprising him.

"No need to do that, we will send him back to his room." 

The man in black suit gestured to two other men who had been hovering behind him, and they lifted the unconscious man easily.

The first man pulled out a few hundred dollars bills and gave it to Yibo. 

"I appreciate it if you don't breathe a word about this to anyone else." He added another bill. "This is for your tips. Don't worry about anything else."

Working in a high end hotel bar, he was used to seeing famous and important people strutting there, loud and attracting attention to themselves. Making headlines with their over-the-top behaviour and ugly faces hid behind thick makeups. 

They also often offered themselves to him like a fat pig on a silver platter, with a promise of a good time and fat paycheck, which he refused. All of them.

This one though, tickled his fancy. And curiosity.

But he just nodded and pocketed the money, as he should. 

Secrets and privacy were kings here, and if you couldn't play their game, there's the exit. Or worse.

So when the next day he found the same beautiful man sitting on the bar alone at the beginning of his shift, he was surprised.

"Hi." The man shyly smiled at him. "I just want to apologize for my… behaviour last night. I didn't do anything… inappropriate, did I?" His eyes were clear as the sky today, with warm honey color. And the same silky voice that's gliding on his skin, teasing and taunting him.

"It's fine, you didn't do anything bad." He looked at the man who let a relieved breath out. "Unless calling me beautiful counts as bad…?" He winked at him. He just couldn't help himself.

The man pinked beautifully.

"Oh god, I shouldn't have drank that much…" he groaned. "I barely can tolerate alcohol as it is…"

"It's fine, you're good. I had much worse compliments… and offers."

He put away his bag and started to clean the table and arranged the glasses.

"So, what can I do for you today? Another triple whiskey neat?" His eyes were twinkling in a teasing manner. That's the most he allowed himself to do to the customers.

"Ah, no, not this early. I just came here to apologize to you, and maybe… uhm… what time will you be finished?" He looked fidgety and nervous, but still beautiful.

"Uhm… I have a full shift today, so… 2 a.m. Why? Is there something you need me to do?"

"Ah...well, if you don't mind, do you want to have brunch with me… tomorrow? As an apology." He smiled shyly, and it made Yibo's heart skip a beat.

"You know you don't need to do that, don't you? It's my job here, and besides, it's… uhm… your bodyguards that carried you away."

"I know that… it's just…" he looked at Yibo, who gave him a smirk. "Ohmygod, you're going to make me say it, aren't you?" 

"I still don't understand what the fuss is about, Mr…"

"Xiao Zhan. My name is Xiao Zhan. And you do know very well what I'm about to propose, don't you?" He grinned back, and relaxed considerably.

"It sounds too fast… propose. Can we at least make out first?" He didn't know what possessed him to say those flirty, daring words, but he felt somehow relaxed and right.

"You… okay, I give up." He threw his hands up in an exaggerated movement, then somehow his eyes found Yibo's and softened immediately.

"Would you like to go out with me…" his eyes scanned the name tag on Yibo's chest, "...Wang Yibo? To have lunch, and if I'm lucky… dinner?"

Yibo looked at him intensely, and gave him a thorough once-over. 

Oh, he was tempted. Very much so.

But the words that came out from his mouth was, "You know, my mama told me not to go out on a date with a stranger. So… try again later." 

And then he winked at him.

He jolted up from his dream with an aching heart and a massive headache. He shrugged himself, then realized that he was in his own bedroom. 

His loft was industrial in style and his bedroom was on the second, open floor. He heard someone making noise in his kitchen downstairs, and he tried to stand up, drink the glass of water on his bedside table and find a couple of aspirin and dry swallowed it. Then he walked downstairs.

"Oh, you're up?" 

Ji Li, the manager of Purgatory, was making some kind of strange concoction in his kitchen.

"What are you doing here?" He groaned at the throbbing pain in his head, while approaching Ji Li.

"Making an anti-hangover drink for you." He put some raw egg inside the blender, and pushed the button.

"Ugh, no way I'm going to drink that."

"Right. You'd rather have a massive headache, you masochist." He poured the greenish liquid into a glass and shoved it under Yibo's nose. "Drink it."

Yibo took the glass, eyeing it with dread, but decided to drink it in one go anyway, because as usual Ji Li was right. He was the best anti-hangover drink maker.

"So, who's the angel who took you home?"

Yibo choked on his disgusting drink and coughed loudly. 

"Hmm… I see." Ji Li took the glass off him and put it in the sink, then walked out of the apartment. "He said he'll be back later to see you." Then he paused before he got out. 

"Do you need condoms and lube? I can run and buy it for you, I know you don't have any in here." 

"The fuck? Did you go through my stuff?" Yibo threw a pillow to smirking Ji Li.

"C'mon man, you literally lived like Tang Seng all these years. This man brought a glimmer of hope for you, so you won't die a virgin."

"Fuck you."

"I'll buy some anyway. Just in case. Thank me later." 

Ji Li ran before Yibo could throw another thing at him.

So, he would be back later, huh?
Too bad he wouldn't be here.

He took out his motorbike and went to the track to clear his mind off the memories. He didn't need to get distracted and fell in the same hole twice. 

Not that he ever surfaced from the first fall anyway . 

So he raced and raced and raced, just like the first time after Xiao Zhan broke his heart.

He could feel the wind against his helmet, the loud flapping sounds of his leather jacket, the rumble of the powerful machine under his body, and most of all, the freedom he seldom felt unless when he was here.
 
He went back to Purgatory later than he should, and readied himself to be scolded by Ji Li, after all this was weekend and most of their lady patrons were looking forward to him doing his tricks.

He parked his bike in the garage behind the bar, and noticed that the parking lot was in a full capacity. 

Good.

He walked inside the bar, still in his leathers, and sat on his usual spot on the bar table, looking around the place. It was bustling, what with the newly added mechanical bull and pool tables. The live band was playing something lively, and someone put a drink in front of him. He took it without seeing, and felt the glass would not move. 

He scowled. 

It seemed that the bartender did not move his hand, and he was ready to scold him when he saw who it was. 

He froze.

After a long minute of eyeing each other, which felt like an eternity for him, he could finally find his voice.

"What are you doing here?" 

He hoped his voice did not betray him with all the sudden rush of memories flooding through his brain. Even his muscles seemed to betray him by not wanting to move away from him. 

Although they seem to have traded places now.

"I seem to recall that we have a date today." Xiao Zhan smiled the sweet smile he remembered oh so clearly, and it did something to his insides.
But he stubbornly ignored it.

"I don't remember ever agreeing to a date. What are you doing here anyway? Don't you have anything more important to do than pestering an unknown bar like this?"

Xiao Zhan did not answer, nor did he move his hand. Instead he tapped Yibo's three fingers three times, slowly, a signal they always did back then.

A signal he did not ever want to remember, when he felt his traitorous body was vibrating with need. 

It seemed that he had been pavloved successfully.

Thankfully he was saved by Ji Li, who seemed to always appear at the right time.

"Eeh, Bobo, finally you're here, Zhanzhan here has been waiting for you for hours…"  his eyes clearly said you're ungrateful biatch…

"Ah Ji Li, it's fine. I'm sure Yibo had something more important to do." He waves his hand dismissingly, thankfully, by removing the hand that touched his fingers. "Right, Yibo?"

Yibo did not answer, only averted his gaze from both of them.

"Ah, Zhanzhan, these are the requests, you can choose anything you want." Ji Li put a stack of paper in front of Xiao Zhan.

"I already chose, a long time ago." 

From his peripheral vision, he saw Xiao Zhan walking to the small platform where the band was playing, and whispered something to the piano player. Then he settled in front of the microphone.

"Ladies and gentlemen," he spoke to the crowd with his clear voice, "the next song is dedicated to a very important someone in my life. I hope you understand." He looked straight to Yibo, and then started to sing.

How long has it been since we’ve met?
Wondering where you are now
It turns out you are living at the bottom of my heart  
Accompanying the breaths I take
 
How far away is this distance?
Believing I would no longer be able to smell your breath
Who would have known the view of your back is this long  
I see you with just a look behind
 
Let bygones be bygones
It’s too late to fall in love with you all over again
The white clouds intertwines with the blue sky  
Ah~ If we cannot walk together forever
At least give as the courage to cherish this memory
And the power to embrace
So that you will understand
Why my heart was moved before
 
I have always wanted to meet you again
I have even tried to check up on your news
In turns out you are living in me
And watching over my memories

His voice was as good as the last time he heard it, when he sang love songs to him, many years ago. It awakened the long forgotten feelings he thought he buried deep inside himself. 

And it turned out he was still unwilling to let it go.
He tried very hard to hold back his tears from falling down, listening to the sickly sweet love song while the whole time Xiao Zhan's eyes were on him. But then he stood up, and walked outside, feeling the overwhelming pressure to smoke.

He was in the middle of his third cigarette when he heard a sound of footsteps approaching.

"He left already, after saying he'll be back tomorrow. And the next day. And next. Until you agree to talk to him."

Ji Li took a cigarette from his own pocket and lit it up.
"I take it there's some sort of history between you two?"

He didn't say anything, but took his time to inhale and exhale the smoke from his lungs, seeming to have lost in thoughts.

"I quit smoking five years ago" he exhaled the smoke, then crushed the cigarette butt with his shoes, "when he broke up with me."

Ji Li was quiet for a while.

"I don't know what's going on between you both, but for me, an outsider, it's clear that you're both still in love with each other so much." He gave Yibo a side hug. "So, if you want to vent, let's talk about it more while we drink our sorrow away."

Xiao Zhan came back every day to the bar, just to talk to him. 

Sometimes he was with friends, but most of the time he was alone, sitting in the corner of the table in front of Yibo, and talked to him about everything.

Sometimes, he brought him a little thoughtful gift, like a hand warmer, or a knee protector since he told him he loves to dance but never wore a knee protector. Sometimes he brought him food like brownies, cookies, lozenges for his sore throat, eye drops for his dry eyes, small things like that. And he always left a generous tip.

"I can open my own bar if you keep giving me tips this much." One day he refused to take the huge tips.

"Oh? You want to open your own bar?" Xiao Zhan was genuinely interested.

"Better to be the master of your own fate, rather than living in a golden cage." He said to him that time, sharing his lifelong dream.

"I stress baked." Xiao Zhan told him one day when he brought him a whole pan of banana bread.

"Well, you should open your own bakery, because this is delicious and I don't like overly sweet things." He took a bite of the moist banana bread and offered Xiao Zhan a bite. Which he took.

He looked at the sweet mouth that chewed the bread, the mole underneath it, and suddenly felt an overwhelming feeling of wanting to kiss it.

Xiao Zhan must have seen something in his eyes, because in the next second, his gaze darkened.

"I want to tell you that I have a room upstairs in case you want to come, but I respect you too much to do that. So, do you want to have dinner with me on your next day off?"

It's been a month since the last time Xiao Zhan first asked him for a date, and after thinking about it for a few minutes, he smiled.

"I'm free for brunch this Thursday."

Yibo woke up the next day with a headache the size of Texas. It's his fault really, for getting drunk two days in a row. Thank god someone took off his clothes before putting him in bed.

He groaned when he heard the sound of his blender getting started this early. But he didn't have any strength or will to walk down and scold that crazy bastard Ji Li, instead he just buried his head under the soft and fluffy pillow.

How did he even wake up at this ungodly hour?
He took a peek at the clock and cursed. It's already past noon. No wonder his stomach grumbled.

A short while later, he heard someone walk up to the stairs and sit beside him on the bed.

"I'm so fucking hungry, can you at least order me a breakfast first? Brunch? Lunch? Anything before I drink that unholy concoction of yours."

"I already started to make you food, but you need to drink this first."

First he thought he was hallucinating, hearing things. Then when someone grabbed his pillow and took it away, shoving the familiar green stuff in a glass under his nose, he jumped away from him.

"What the hell are you doing in my room? No, no, scratch that, what the hell are you doing in my home?" He almost screeched and tried to find purchase in the blanket to cover his nakedness.

"Oh, please, no need to be that modest, I've seen everything, remember?" Xiao Zhan smirked at him, and gave him the glass. "Drink this, and let's have some food before we talk."

"No no no, you don't get to be all bossy with me in my own home!" But he took the glass nonetheless, since his head seemed to be pounding with every word he said. "Ugh…"

"Ji Li let me in and taught me how to make… that." Xiao Zhan scrunched his nose. "He said it will make your hangover better."

Cute… Yibo thought, then mentally slapped himself. You are weak for that dimple, and smile, and voice, you are weak for him, admit it!

And Ji Li, you're a fucking traitor!

"Go take a hot shower, that will make you feel better." Xiao Zhan took the empty glass from him. "I'll be waiting for you downstairs."

He took his sweet time in the shower, hoping that Xiao Zhan lost his patience and just left. But of all the things Xiao Zhan was good at, waiting was one of his strong points.

He waited for him for a whole month before taking him to dinner. And even that, he only gave him a chaste peck on the cheek. They only had sex when they went out for almost three months, and that was the best feeling he had ever had.

It truly made him believe that he loved him as much as he did.

He went out from his ensuite wearing only a towel and looked for soft pants and an old ratty t-shirt. He didn't bother to dry his wet hair. He went straight down to his kitchen, preparing for war.