After the ceremony they gathered in the living room, a sad silence filling the space and spreading over them. Peter settled into a corner of the couch and April cuddled up to him as if to try to draw strength from his warmth. He put his arm around her and kissed her hair.

Lucy, watching them, sighed and came over to sit next to April. Of course, she would be the one to break the silence.

"April, do you think we could look at the book?"

April looked at Peter, stunned. "I can't believe we hadn't thought to look at it yet. Oh, Peter!"

A light came into her eyes for the first time since they had left the Grove. He broke into a slight smile of his own as he remembered that there may be something exciting something in the Chronicles book that April's family had passed down from generation to generation.

April brought over the book and immediately flipped it open to the back. Edmund sat to Peter's left on the arm of the couch to see as well.

Lucy was the first to react. "Oh my!" she exclaimed, "how beautiful!"

"Peter, look!" April breathed.

Peter sucked in his breath. There before them, faded just as the rest of the illustrations in the book were, in the wonderful way that only Tumnus could capture, he and April stood on the dais of the Great Hall on their wedding day, staring into each other's eyes with a look of love passing between them that was so strong it was almost palpable.

April gently traced the outline of Peter's cloak and his arm around her involuntarily tightened. She sighed and leaned into him looking up. He met her eyes and smiled. It was if everything had faded away and the two of them were back in Narnia, alone for the first time after their wedding.

Whispering, he spoke, "You were so beautiful that day, I thought my heart would stop when I saw you coming down the aisle to me."

She touched his cheek and brought his head down for a kiss. They lingered until Edmund's horse cough broke the spell. Her cheeks reddened as she realized where they were. True to his nature, Peter just grinned and turned the page.

Tumnus had written letters knowing they would see the book. The first one was to Lucy, Susan and Edmund, reassuring them of the Narnian's safety and Narnia's wholeness and expressing how much he missed all of them.

The second letter was for Peter. Peter read it aloud, not caring if the parents gathered in the kitchen heard or knew its contents. April's sister was thankfully at a friend's house, Miranda being sensitive to the emotions of them all.

Dear High King Peter,

I trust you are well and it astounds me that you and Queen April will be reading this long after I am gone...

Both Lucy and April sniffed as the tears started to flow. Lucy grabbed April's hand and held on tight. Peter knew they would talk more later about Tumnus.

Aslan assured us that you both were safe and whole, back in Spare Oom. I cannot tell you the grief that your final night in Narnia has caused us all. We feel so responsible for not protecting you further, for allowing Lucius to become such a traitor to us all. And we miss you both more than you could ever imagine. We were all lulled into complacency and so joyously anticipating the heir...

Peter's voice broke and he swallowed hard. Then, mastering his emotion, he continued.

You will want to know all of the details. With your last breath, you did indeed kill the Pirate Captain. You may or may not have noticed that Rhinos had already killed his first mate. There were other pirates around the castle, but those that were still alive after the raid fled once they realized their leaders were dead and that Aslan, the mythical, mysterious God of the Narnians, did indeed exist. I doubt we will ever have any trouble from those particular pirates again. We have seen no sign of the Telmarines that you were so concerned about. My assumption is they have let go of their hopes to conquer Narnia for now.

Edmund interrupted, "Peter, did you tell Tumnus about the future?"

"I couldn't. I debated and almost did two or three times, but finally decided that it would do him no good to know. If the Telmarines didn't come in their lifetime, which I dearly hope they did not, then it would only worry them to no end. The only Narnian I dropped a hint about the future to was the dryad, Sabina..."

Lucy interrupted with a loud cry, "Sabina! Peter...what?" She glanced furtively at April, then back again at Peter in confusion. April's cheeks reddened again. Peter took April's hand and squeezed it.

"April knows about Sabina, she met her. She is, in fact, April's ancestor that Aslan turned human at the end of the Telemarine war, right after we left."

Lucy's mouth formed a large and silent O and Edmund chuckled. April shot him a look and he mumbled, "I bet that was awkward."

In spite of herself April giggled. "Not as much as you think. I met her before I discovered her history with Peter and she seemed to disappear after we married..."

April trailed off and Peter squeezed her hand again. "There are many questions we wanted to ask her, but she left." He sighed and picked up the book again.

Lucius confessed his crimes, and was sentenced by Aslan to hard labor for the rest of his life with the dwarves already confined to the prison. The dead pirates were taken to the depths of the bay by the merpeople, and the people...have tried to continue on with their lives. It is incredibly difficult to know that you all will never return to Narnia in our lifetime.

You will be encouraged to know that the parliamentarian system of government that you set up is going well. It has now been six months since your departure and the Prime Minister has the country well in hand. Which is a great relief to me. It may not matter to you, but Queen April might be pleased to know that paintings and tapestries have been made of her and you both as a couple. All of our people loved her dearly and not a day goes by when someone does not mention you or the Queen in loving terms. It was a joy to have you marry here and reign as King and Queen together. You had a great partnership. I have every assurance that you will continue that partnership in your world and I do hope that there is some greater good, a mission for you both there. I am assuming that is why Aslan decided to return you and not heal your injuries here.

Peter stopped reading, he sent a pleading look to April. She gently took the book and read the few remaining paragraphs in a trembling voice only stumbling a bit and breathing in relief when she discovered that Kamara, the cougar who was her guard and her friend, indeed the first one to discover she was pregnant, was only injured in the raid, but was not killed. She flipped through the rest of the illustrations showing scenes from their time there and handed the book to Edmund to read the final inscriptions. The Book only Chronicled the Pevensie reign, so Tumnus did not add any other of the other additional happenings in Narnia after they had left. Sadly, Edmund handed the book to Lucy who wanted to reread the letters.

April stood and drew Peter up off the couch and they walked slowly out to the gardens. Peter's face was stony again and April stopped and reached up a gentle hand to his cheek.

"Peter, please don't shut me out," she pleaded softly.

He shook his head sharply, breaking contact with her hand. "I don't mean to April, I just do not know what to do with this. Why would Aslan...Christ as we know Him here, allow this to happen? What kind of God would take away our child for no reason? How on this earth, in this world, am I supposed to know what to do? I am 16...17? What kind of a future will there be here for me, for us?"

Just then, Miranda called them in for dinner, their conversation left unfinished and hanging between them. Peter barely spoke at dinner and could not seem to make eye contact with April. He felt so riddled with guilt. Seeing their wedding picture and hearing the raw pain in Tumnus' words pierced him like the sword that almost ended his life. His mind was slipping away befuddled with grief and remorse and the feeling that it should have been him. For the first time he understood what April had felt in Narnia after the dwarf attack, it was like there was a large yawning black pit in front of him. He did not want to fall in, but how could he stay out?

Later, Peter sat on the bench in the garden staring at the sunset splashed across the sky. He wished he could take joy in it, but the sky may have well been gray so heavy was his heart. The day had been difficult, but here had been some joy from Tumnus' letter. At least he could put to rest his worries over his kingdom. Narnia would be fine, at least for this generation, and that was all he had been responsible for. He could not change their future any more than he already had.

The thought of 'putting to rest' brought back the grief. There was a hole inside of him, a deep dark gaping wound. How fitting that he had a scar now there to always remind him of what he had caused. His chin fell to his chest, how would there ever be color in his own sky again? He heard a noise behind him and felt a strong hand on his shoulder, Edmund.

His brother sat beside him and was quiet for a long time. Edmund was good that way. Peter put his head in his hands and sighed.

"This is hard." Edmund said simply.

Peter nodded.

"Harder than almost anything we faced in Narnia."

Peter looked at him and caught his look, he nodded again and stood, his back to his brother.

"You know," Edmund spoke again, "we now have something else in common."

Peter turned quickly and at his sharp quizzical look, Edmund smiled sadly and explained, "Scars that run from front to back and through us."

Peter nodded. Edmund stood and paced before him. "I could never share this fully with you in Narnia, it was too painful, but I thought of it every day. I died, Peter, at the first Battle of Beruna, when the witch skewered me. I was gone, brought back only by Lucy's cordial...Every day I saw the scar and lived with the knowledge of the pain I caused you all. The blackness and depression was overwhelming at times."

Peter looked at him amazed, for Edmund never spoke of his betrayal. Edmund continued, "When you die, a piece of you dies too, no matter if you are physically whole again, part of your mind will grieve. Give yourself time to heal, not just from the death of your child but from your own death as well. April will not understand but she will want to help. I do understand, so talk to me. Don't push us all away. You always try to handle things on your own, you always have."

Peter spoke thoughtfully, "I know. I learned to share some with April in Narnia, but she has too much on her heart right now. I can't talk with her about my dying. I haven't even thought about it myself yet."

Edmund nodded in understanding encouraging Peter to continue, and he did. "It is still hard for me to think about that day at Beruna when I thought I lost you. Then when you almost died after the conflict in the Western Wood, and after both of our injuries battling the Ettin giants, I never knew such despair and heart rending grief at just the thought of losing my brother. The worst part I was helpless, I could not save you..."

Peter's voice broke, and he whispered, "I am helpless now, I could not save my child."

"Nor were you meant to," Edmund interjected. "You could not save me then, nor could you keep your child here. You are not God, Peter. We were kings, all powerful, and yet saving those we love in Narnia or in this world, is not up to us. I know it is hard, but this is not your fault. It was beyond your control."

"I just feel so responsible for April. If we had never gone to Narnia, if I hadn't gotten so comfortable there...again!"

"Don't do this, Peter. It is not going to help. What's done is done, now you have to move on, again. Like we always have." Edmund's voice caught and his next words came out as a painful whisper. "Be grateful for the time you spent there. It was a gift."

Peter turned to look at his brother, his heart in his eyes. "I'm sorry Ed. I always do that, spout off just what I feel without thinking, without...I know being here is hard for you too. I know you have lost much as well...I'm just not thinking clearly right now."

Edmund stood and pounded his brother on the back. "You big oaf, of course you know. Just remember it is important who we have here and now. Don't waste the gift that is here too. There is still much to live for and we have a purpose here, we just don't know what yet. But there is a reason, remember that."

Edmund left him alone after and Peter struggled with the doubt and grief. There was no way he was ready to see the big picture. He just had to make it through the day. It was dark now and he heard the door to the house close. A large shape was silhouetted in the light, April's father. He groaned inwardly.

"Peter, what you need is milk a cow. Come on son."

Peter followed Mr. Treed to the stable, grateful for something constructive to do other than think. The stable was earthy and smelled of the animals. In a lot of ways it reminded him of Narnia. He ran a hand over the cow he normally milked when he visited and sat down at the familiar stool. He supposed he needed to clear the air with her father.

"Sir, I hope it does not bother you too much about April and I being married while we were in..." he intercepted Mr. Treed's glare and rather than say Narnia, he hid a smile and finished with, "there."

Mr. Treed huffed a bit, "I had given you my blessing to propose earlier in the week, so I suppose I cannot get too upset. I am glad you married her, without us being there, you wouldn't have had to."

"Of course I had to, sir. I would not disrespect your daughter in that way."

Mr. Treed nodded and smirked, "Thank you...for that. But, you did bring her home pregnant, which was not ideal."

"It was not and I take fully responsibility for it, sir. Things were...different there. It..." Peter couldn't finish.

"Now, don't go taking responsibility where it is not yours. You carry the weight of the world on your shoulders all too often. What happened is not your fault, any more than it was hers."

Peter opened his mouth to speak, but April's father cut him off. As he spoke he came over and laid a huge hand on Peter's shoulder.

"Son, life is hard, this is not the first grief that will come your way, nor will it be the greatest."

April's father moved around the stable, finishing the rest of the chores. "Funny thing about hopes and dreams, they can be shattered in an instant, but if you remember what's important it will make the grief easier. What's important is that girl in there who is your responsibility. Not just because she is my daughter, but because it is your duty as a man and as a husband. You know duty, you lived it...there. Duty here and there shouldn't be any different. Don't lose sight of it!"

"Thank you, sir."

They stood and Mr. Treed extinguished the lantern and as they walked back to the house, Peter felt encouraged. He did know duty and he could handle this. He walked into the house determined to find April. She was sitting on the couch staring at the paintings of Narnia. She stood when he came into the room and turned to look at him. He met her eyes and the deep sadness in them crushed all of his new found confidence and resolve. Seeing her so broken pushed him over the edge into the pit where darkness shrouded his heart and clouded his mind.

He took her in his arms so as not to have to see her grief painted so starkly on her pale and stricken features. He knew she was not only grieving over the loss of their child, but also of the loss of Narnia and probably of himself, as well. He knew he needed to have words for her, but they wouldn't come. He couldn't tell her they would get through this, because he didn't know how. He couldn't tell her he would be there, because he wouldn't. In a few short days he would have to return to Hendon House for the final weeks of school. Nothing was the same here as it was in Narnia, except for his love for her. So he said the only thing he could.

"I love you April, nothing is ever going to change that."

Then in a whisper he confessed, "I don't do well coming back from Narnia, I never have. And knowing it was my fault that we were brought back and that our child suffered for my mistakes is something I don't know how to deal with. I can't promise that I can be strong for you. I don't know if I can be strong at all anymore..."

"But we will get through this together, right?" She asked, struggling to get out of his arms to see his face. When she saw his expression and his eyes, her hands went to his cheeks.

"Oh, Peter, please. Don't pull away from me. You made no mistakes. I...don't regret our time together."

His eyes focused on hers that were full of pleading. "I don't regret it either, love. I just wanted things to be different and...I will try."

Peter resolved to stay for two more days until his break was finished. His Mother had urged him to take an extra week and stay with April, who could not return to school until she was physically recovered, but he refused. He could do nothing more than hold her. He felt as cold as stone and longed to get back to a regular routine.

~~~~

(A/N: Fun messages from Narnia. I love the Chronicles Book. But...poor Peter! Is his sadness justified? Does he feel too deeply? Have a great week!)