(A/N: I feel the need for a little warning here. There could be triggers in this chapter for those who are struggling or who have struggled with a miscarriage or a related life event. If you are, I would be happy to talk with you.)

Chapter song: Faithful by Steven Curtis Chapman

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Peter couldn't sleep. He tossed on the couch which was his bed while visiting in her home. Not only did he miss her presence beside him, but there had been too many emotions, too much trauma. April's bleeding had steadily increased. While she was not in pain yet, Miranda said that would come. Knowing that he had put her in this situation wrenched his gut. He would be the cause of her pain, and although it could be for the best, it was still his child that was dying, or had already died. He couldn't stand it. Grief as he had never known racked his body with raw edges feeling like sword blades cutting him again and again. Gladly he would have taken the actual cuts in order to spare April from this and to keep his child alive. How would they ever get past this? Not only did they have to deal with coming back from Narnia with so many unanswered questions, but to go through this as well? It was too much. Tomorrow he would have to call Edmund, perhaps they would come. He tried to pray, but the words wouldn't come. He was too confused and overwhelmed. He heard a noise and looked up.

April stood in the doorway a towel clutched to her stomach. Miranda had been warming them for her for when the pain began. She was also made to drink tons of water and to lay on her left side, of all the strange things, but Miranda knew how to make this easier for April. Peter was grateful for her help and understanding. It had been terrible facing April's father. Mr. Treed's shock at their story was doubly hard because he had never believed that Narnia was real and now he was faced with the hard evidence that it was.

April came over to him and squeezed beside him on the tiny couch. He was grateful for her warmth and presence and he put his large hand over her stomach as she cuddled her back into him. It was such a familiar gesture and one that had brought them both joy and pleasure knowing that he was holding their child that he lost control again. Not facing her was easier. But he knew she could feel his body shaking with his sobs. She was crying too, and had been off and on all day.

Of course, they had to put on brave faces around April's little sister, Elisa, who was nine and could not know all that was happening. It was stressful and in a way the sobs were a welcome release to all that had happened. He didn't know when he had ever cried like this. He had lost many friends and fellow soldiers in battle and to other circumstances in Narnia, but he had never lost a family member. He was too young when his grandmother died to remember any of that grief. But to lose his very own child, a child he would never get to hold, never get to teach sword fighting to or have a tea party with was staggering.

April put her hand over his and held on as if for dear life. He needed to be strong for her. He would have to find a way to deal with his grief in order to be what she needed him to be. He knew after this storm subsided that he not allow himself to lose control like this around her again, not about this anyway. He couldn't and stay sane.

She tensed and cried out softly. The pain had begun. Oh Aslan, help us!

~~0~~

He gripped her hand as they slowly walked through the forest. They were on their way to the Grove with the miniscule bundle wrapped in cloths in a small box. They were quiet, spent, and full of grief. The last days had been very difficult, so much blood and pain for April. Blood never bothered him before, he had seen too much of it on battlefields, but seeing her blood was different, it brought a panic up in him that threatened to choke him. But he pushed it aside and was there with her through it all. He would not leave her side and her parents let them be. It was exhausting, and the most difficult thing he had ever been through and he never wanted to repeat it! He recalled the events of the last day, two days? Time was a blur to him now.

He had called Edmund the morning after the pain had begun. He had to use the phone at the neighbors and talk in code, but Edmund understood and was instantly horrified and sympathetic. They were at home in Finchley, it being break for everyone, and promised they would come. That evening's train brought Edmund, Lucy and his mother. His father was gone on travel and Susan was staying with friends for the last part of break. When they arrived his mother and even Edmund hugged him. It was Lucy's reaction to April that nearly broke his resolve not to cry again. Upon entering the house, she had rushed over to April who was sitting on the couch and hugged her tight and matched April tear for tear. She then came to him.

"I am so sorry, Peter. I know how much you wanted a child in Narnia, and now to have it taken from you..." Peter folded her in his arms and she cried. He tucked his head onto hers as he had always done to comfort his baby sister and waited until her tears were spent.

Soon they sorted themselves out. Helen was pleased to finally meet Miranda and Manfred, April's parents, and they drifted to the kitchen to sit and get acquainted and most likely lament over their strange children and the adventures and trouble that seemed to follow them. It gave Peter and April a chance to start telling Lucy and Edmund of their Narnian adventures. Lucy was so excited to hear about Tumnus and the Beavers and everything they experienced. It was a great distraction and was fun to hear April tell of Narnia through her eyes. Edmund was very curious about the pirate slavers and how that conflict turned out. Both Lucy and Edmund became very angry when they heard of Lucius' treachery and horrified when Peter showed them his scars, the one on his chest and the matching one on his back.

They were all silent when the tale was done. Lucy had slipped up and curled up next to April taking her hand. Edmund put his hand on Peter's shoulder and commiserated. It helped Peter to have them know and understand. They left that evening to stay in an inn in the village and promised to return the following morning.

It was during the night that the baby was...he couldn't bear to say born. About the size of a lime, it was fully formed, tiny, yet perfect. April couldn't speak and he was rendered silent too. He held her again that night as she slept fitfully constantly having to make trips to the lavatory. She would bleed for quite a few more days according to her mother. He was thankful that Miranda had been a nurse. He would not have wanted anyone else in the village to know of their predicament, and the Treed's were grateful not to have to answer questions too.

April had tearfully asked him if they should name the baby. At first he resisted with all of his being, but seeing that she needed it, he agreed. His middle name was William, as was his father's. They decided to call him William Tumnus Pevensie. His heart broke hearing her say the name and he knew he would never be the same.

Entering the grove he felt like his heart was made of stone. Was it only a few days ago that they had shared something beautiful here? Lucy, Edmund, April and himself paused at the entrance, each dealing with their own memories of the place.

April sighed a deep sigh and walked to the center of the circle like-enclosure. "I'll need to wake the trees."

"I'll help you," Peter said softly not missing the surprised look that Edmund and Lucy exchanged.

April looked at him gratefully. "Thank you. I'm not sure I could get through this alone."

He nodded and she began the dance, he joined her at the appropriate time. This time their movements were simple yet harmonious and, of course, lacked the sensuousness of their earlier dance. When they were finished and the trees swayed alive as they could be in this world they heard Lucy's exclamation of awe.

"Oh, that was simply beautiful." She hugged Peter.

Edmund, at any other time, would have made a wisecrack, but today he simply placed a hand on Peter's shoulder and nodded. Peter was grateful for their presence and support. He felt more whole that he had since the journey to Narnia. His siblings were such a part of who he was, he missed Susan immensely. It didn't seem right that she was not here to share this with them.

April pointed out a spot and Edmund dug the hole. As Kings and Queens in Narnia they had held many funerals, or farewells as they had called them there. April, with silent tears running down her cheeks, bent and placed the box in the hole. Peter picked up some dirt and sprinkled it on the box, then stepped back, feeling choked. He felt April at his side. He put his arm around her waist and pulled her into him.

Lucy cleared her throat, they had asked her to lead the farewell. She began, "I found these words, and I hope they will be an encouragement to us all: 'God is the Father who is full of mercy and all comfort. He comforts us every time we have trouble, so when other have trouble, we can comfort them with the same comfort God gives us. We share in the many sufferings of Christ. In the same way, much comfort comes to us through Christ.'"*

Lucy spoke softly, "I know comfort seems far away, even unattainable right now, with what you both have suffered and with all the adjustments that coming back from Narnia brings, but the only true comfort you can get is from Aslan...Christ. He is the one that will help you through each day. He has suffered too, He knows what it is like."

Edmund's face was grim, especially with those last words, but he nodded. "Lucy asked me to read this, 'Though He brings grief, He will show compassion, so great is His unfailing love. For He does not willingly bring affliction or grief to the children of men.'"**

Looking at Peter, Edmund continued, "Peter, Aslan made in choice in bringing you back. A hard one, but one that was necessary. As a purveyor of justice, it is hard to make those choices. Choosing one life over another is the hardest of all. You have to decide which impact for good will be the greatest. You still have good to do Peter, and you too April. May He comfort you and bring you to the other side of your grief."

"Thank you my brother and my sister. It means more to me than you know to have you here." Peter's voice broke and he swallowed hard. "My child...you were loved, you were wanted...very much in Narnia, but here as well. You will be missed and thought of for the rest of our lives. May the time seem short until we can meet and see you for who you were meant to be in Aslan's Country."

April sobbed softly and Peter tried to bring her to his chest, but she resisted needing to speak the words that were in her heart. She cleared her throat, but only managed a whisper, "My darling son, William Tumnus Pevensie, Prince of Narnia, may you find joy and peace in Aslan's paws and may He constantly remind you that you are missed and loved."

This time she allowed herself comfort in Peter's arms. Lucy came to them and put her arms around them both and Edmund's hand landed on Peter's shoulder and the other on April's back.

In a solemn, yet very quiet voice, Edmund spoke the words of the lament of Narnia. "We bid you farewell, little Prince. Do not let our grief keep you from your journey home. Go your way to Aslan's Paws, to His Country, at the edge between this world and the next."***

Lucy whispered, "...The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord."****

Peter's back stiffened and he could feel his spirit close at Lucy's words. As they broke the embrace April looked up to Peter's eyes. They were focused on the grave that Edmund had started to fill and they were cold, an icy blue that sent shivers all the way through those who looked at them.

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(A/N: Thanks for reading. I love Lucy and Edmund in this chapter. The Pevensie's have such a special bond, it is a joy to write about them. I hope you have friends and family that you know will be there with you through it all.)

* 2 Corinthians 1:3-5

** Lamentations 3:32-33

***The term 'farewell' for funerals in Narnia and Edmund's quote is taken directly from Rthstewart's Harold and Morgan, Not A Romance.

****Job 1:21