Chapter song: I will carry you by Michael W. Smith; Peter POV

"Mathinson!" Edmund's voice rang out laced with anger and the ring of someone betrayed and seeking justice.

"What?! Oh, it's you." Robert sneered looking up from the book he was studying in the student lounge.

Edmund, who was obvioulsy seething, held a packet of papers in his hand and worse, the Dean was standing right behind him.

"You! You miserable excuse for a human being..." Edmund would have continued except for the strong hand of Dean Sanders on his shoulder.

The Dean cleared his throat as Robert rose slowly to his feet. While he tried to look cool and nonchalent there was a trace of guilt running across his features.

"Yes sir?"

"Let's walk to my office shall we..."

~~0~~

Peter was studying on his bed, or trying to. His mind kept straying to April and the incredible weekend they had shared. He was startled when Edmund stormed into the room and threw a bundle of papers onto Peter's lap.

"What? What are these? Why are you..."

Peter trailed off and time seemed to slow as he picked up the packet recognizing instantly the handwriting on the stack of...letters. He raised his eyes in shock and disbelief to meet Edmund's blazing glaze. He had seen that look in Ed's eyes many times on the battle field and when a weaker being was being unjustly treated in his Narnian courts. Edmund could not stand injustice of any kind. He would be a force to be reckoned with as a solicitor or court justice in this world.

"That blasted idiot, Mathinson! I knew he was withholding mail. I went to Dean Sanders and we searched the mailroom. These were in an empty slot next to your name."

Peter sat up straighter and his hands started to tremble. He looked at the letters in his hands and felt like more than a fool. He was the idiot. How could he believe that she wouldn't write to him? That she didn't care... He shook his head.

"I am a fool Ed."

"Peter! You don't understand. Mathinson deliberatly kept these from you! I was with the Dean when he confronted him. You should have seen the little sneak grovel. He claimed to have misfiled them. The Dean decided since Mathinson technically did his job, and just made a "mistake" that he wouldn't be expelled. However, he has been relieved of duty in the mailroom and his new job is," Edmund's expression changed from outrage to mirth and he started to snicker, "cleaning the loos with the janitors."

Peter laughed too at the thought of the rich and haughty boy who was such a nuisance to them doing the disgusting and menial chore. He thought it fitting and was happy he didn't have to exact justice himself. He decided Edmund was angry enough for the both of them. While he would love to pound Mathinson into the ground, he knew better. He couldn't dwell on his classmate's wrongdoing for long though before other emotions overcame him.

Looking at the letters, a sense of dismay and grief ran through him so quickly he almost couldn't breathe. He felt the bed sink next to him and sensed Edmund softening.

"Peter, you didn't know. You didn't know that she cared or that she had written."

Peter was always amazed when Edmund was able to read him so well.

"I know, but I should have been the one pushing to find these. I shouldn't have doubted her love, her committment to me. Why do I doubt so much when I come back from Narnia?"

Ed's hand landed on his shoulder. "You care too much, Peter. That's why. You love with all your heart and your entire being. It is a good thing. One I am not capable of."

"That's not true, Ed."

Peter looked at Edmund and saw him scowl and watched him move to the other side of the room. It wasn't true. Peter knew how much Edmund cared about Narnia and his family. It was evident in the way he fought for him and April. Edmund just kept his feelings guarded. Peter looked forward to the day when Edmund would find someone he loved with all of his heart and would be able to open up completely.

"Thank you Edmund. It looks like I have some reading to do."

~~0~~

Later, Peter strolled through his favorite area of campus thinking about the letters she had written. They had turned his insides out--made him feel guilty, loved, and grateful all at the same time. How amazing that she had forgiven him just a few days ago, when she was clearly ready to walk away. He had her forgivness. He needed to ask the same from someone much greater than them both.

Utterly humbled at the thought, he sighed and then breathed deep of the clean fresh air and paused in his walk, feeling the spring breeze blow past him and through the trees above and around him. The forest here calmed him and made him think of her...and Narnia. A pain struck his heart deep when he thought of Narnia and Aslan. He knew it was time.

Pushing deeper into the woods he found the clearing in the copse of pine trees. This was where he came to be totally alone, to think, and to pray. Sinking to the pine needles he knelt and closed his eyes. The quiet seeped into him, settled him, and soothed his ragged nerves.

"Aslan..." he whispered, his voice breaking. How he could be so mad at his God and yet so grateful at the same time amazed him.

"I am sorry, help me...to forgive. Help me to understand."

He stayed and listened to the wind whisper through the pines and felt a peace wash over him. A peace that was almost there when he reconciled with April, but not in its fullness. This was the peace that went beyond understanding. One that didn't make any sense. How could he feel peace and comfort when his heart was still in tourmoil, grieving his last visit to Narnia, and hurting over losing a child that he had longed for? This peace only came from above. And in that peaceful moment, he knew he was forgiven. A deeper understanding of 'why' might come in time. But he knew that part of it would never make sense. He just knew he had to accept what had happened. To fight against circumstances that he could not control was futile and only brought more grief.

After many long moments he rose and whispered, "Thank you Aslan, for your forgiveness and this new chance at a life here, in this world."

He turned with purpose back toward his room. He had a fencing match, finals, graduation and a life to prepare for.

(A/N: I love Edmund. His fierce protectiveness of his family, especially Peter, and deep rooted desire for justice is beautiful. I hope I do him credit here. Perhaps when he is a little older, I will write a spin-off where he finds love too. And in case you don't know, or haven't experienced the peace that passes all understanding, it is real. My favorite scriptures are found in Philippians 4:4-7: "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: rejoice. Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (NIV) In this anxiety ridden world where worries are so easy for me to succumb to, writing this chapter has been a great reminder to find some time to be still, to listen to the wind, and feel His peace. May your day overflow with peace and love! Thank you for reading! Teaser: the next chapter is a long one.)