"Above me is toward the eternal sky,
Full of light and deity;
Again I saw, again I heard,
The rolling river, the morning bird; —
Beauty through my senses store,
I yielded myself to the perfect whole."
—Waldo Ralph Emerson, Each and All

Needless to say, I didn't concern myself as much with the testing. Had it been anyone else that had warned me, I would've heeded their word, but I would not have been so terrified. The fact that it was the Grandmaster, arguably the most powerful being in the galaxy, that had come to warn me frightened me.

I kept my anxieties to myself, knowing there were more important things at hand. Besides, no one would care about my future plight when there was one at our doorstep.

Still, I worked for several hours on crafting Kyber-daggers. Unbeknownst to my teammates, I had dabbled in such weaponry before.

Two years previous, Master-Lord Raaj had invited me to learn a Dark Side skill that most Jedi and even Dark Jedi Padawans could not perform. It involved a series of quick thoughts compiled together with a mass of creativity. I had no idea why he thought I could do it.

In the end, I managed to learn the art of assembling and disassembling lightsabers, daggers, shields, and any weapon I had the parts for. I hadn't told any of my friends about my ability. One of the first things I had been told as a Dark Jedi was to keep my secrets and skills as hidden as possible. Obviously, it was nearly impossible to keep combat abilities a secret when we constantly sparred against each other, but it was always nice to have a trick or two up my sleeve.

I picked up the dagger, weighing it. I could feel the Kyber crystal inside humming with its own kind of life, one that held equal opportunity for creation and destruction. When I flicked on the blade, a crisp golden light appeared. I was used to the color. All the crystals that sang to me tended to be of that spectrum, a near perfect neutrality between the Dark and the Light.

In one fluid motion, I spun around and threw the dagger the small mark in my wall. I have used a writing utensil for the first time when I was ten, and I had dotted my wall until I was told to stop. No one had bothered cleaning it up.

Surprisingly, the blade hit its mark. I studied it with satisfaction, pulling out the saber before it could catch anything on fire. I kept it afloat with the Force, willing away certain pieces to replace with heavier material.

A knock rapped on my door, and I immediately let all the pieces drop to the ground. I pushed them all into a pile, hoping it wouldn't look suspicious.

Surprisingly, it was Chinelo. His tall frame loomed over me. "Arrai," he greeted.

I opened the door to let him in. "Come in," I invited, a bit wary.

He took a seat on one of my couches. "I need to speak with you."

"Obviously," I replied, leaning against the open door. "What about?"

He bit his lip nervously. "I was told that you were good to get advice from."

I closed the door and casually sat down across from him, fiddling with a commuter for dramatic effect. "Who is it?"

After a moment of surprise, Chinelo acknowledged by knowledge. "I don't want to tell you that."

"Then don't." I responded. "What do you need from me?" I asked, setting down the part and looking him in the eye.

"How do I tell if they feel the same way?" He asked.

I shrugged. "Usually, you can't. You just have to do it. Terrifying prospect, really, but it's the hardest. Then it gets easier."

I had been giving both Nysa and Niern advice for a long time before they sucked it up and told each other, but I was not quite positive who Chinelo would be crushing on. Assumedly, it was Lorna. The two had always been close. Like Nysa, Niern, and I had always been a group, Chinelo, Yovan, and Lorna had always been one.

I smiled encouragingly to him. "You can do it."

Besides, Lorna would have no problem being in a relationship with Chinelo. He was tall and handsome, his dark skin being most beautiful shade of charcoal. He was friendly and kind, and he respected the masters deeply, but he also had a more wild side that could occasionally be tapped into.

He looked increasingly worried. "But what if they do not feel the same way?"

"Then that's a risk you have to take." I pushed. "You will never know if you do not try."

That seemed to make him think. "Have you ever had feelings for anyone?"

I laughed and looked down embarrassedly. "If I have, I have yet to be informed of such a  development."

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

Nysa, Niern, and I had trained for the rest of the week to prepare for testing. I showed off my dagger skills, to which we agreed that they would be helpful. I made several more, about a dozen in total. They were quite small with sheathed, so I could carry several in my pocket at a time. I found a pouch to collect and store all unused daggers.

On the day of testing, we met on the fifteenth floor training hall of the Temple. We were immediately ushered by a clocked figure into a smaller room inside. We waited a few minutes for all the other teams to get into place.

"Padawans," a loud voice called. I did not recognize it. "This semester's trial is to test your willingness to sacrifice. To begin, each of you must give up one weapon."

Three boxes opened up from the wall. Clanking sounds protruded from around the giant room. I chose to give up the tracker anklet I wore. I had a feeling it would not be needed in this trial.

I could barely sense anything in the room, like something was intentionally blocking me. "You guys sensing anything?" I asked.

They shook their heads. "Not a thing," Niern admitted.

Suddenly, the lights flickered off. My immediately reaction was the shift my neutrality to the Dark Side. Energy sparked in my hand, feeding off anger and fear that I had stored for such a time. Thoughts of my conversation with Master Thraina bubbled to the surface. My separation anxiety from my brother somehow pushed its way through. My hatred of old Master Teklac shone through, his lack of acceptance unnerving.

Niern and Nysa looked at me, light sabers out. I could see their raised brows, like they were judging me for taking a more difficult path to achieve the same goal.

Still, I had always enjoyed the feeling of power flickering in my palm. I took no heed of my friends.

The next challenge was to duel one of the other teams. With our luck, we ended up with Padawans who were younger than when I had even started. A simple push defeated them. Even Dark Side, I had no desire to hurt innocents.

Our next sacrifice was not hard. It was demanded of us to use only Neutrality for the remainder of the test.

Achieving perfect Neutrality was different than relying on simply the Light or Dark Sides or using simply the Force. Neutrality pushed the idea of using both at the same time. It heightened senses and awareness, but it also gave the user a disconnection to the world around them, like they were attached to nothing but the Force.

I felt black and white become gray as I joined the Sides together. If the universe was a garment waiting to be hemmed, then I was a pin, temporarily holding together a small amount of fabric.

The next group we clashed with was more ferocious. They looked like a trio of near-graduates. But I was incapable of fear.

My Neutrality assessed the situation perfectly, analyzing the stances and movements and through that the capabilities of each combatant. I could tell that the middle would be weakest, and the one of the right was strongest.

I made gestures with my fingers in a form only my comrades could understand. Immediately, Niern and I leapt for the middle while Nysa was tasked with fending off the left and right until we could reach her.

The daggers came in handy when I could sense a lightsaber strike about to hit Nysa. I threw the blade with uncanny accuracy and burned the hand of the combatant, making him drop the lightsaber.

After quickly incapacitating our foe, Niern and I ran to help Nysa. I took the stronger one, somehow channeling enough force to defeat him in a few simple blows. Had I not been Neutral, I would have been proud of such an accomplishment, and I was quite boastful later on.

In one of the final rounds, we were told to sacrifice a teammate in order to continue. We had to choose the weakest among us. While I normally would have opted for Niern, I remembered the serious hit Nysa had taken previously. A gash ran along her arm. It affected her little because of the Neutrality, but she was obviously slowing.

She was glad to be voted off. Leaning against the wall, she slid down, dropping the draining use of the Neutral Force, switching to the Dark Side to burn off some of the pain.

Niern and I entered the next round. We found Lorna and Chinelo eying use emotionlessly in their uncaring states. When Chinelo flashed a look, I could tell he was worried for his sister, but I cared so little for his anxiety that I did not tell him that she would be fine.

I flung a dagger at an unsuspecting Lorna. I heard her cry out and touch her searing shoulder. One look at her told me that she would definitely be scarred. Not that that mattered; each of us had given the others many battle reminders, cuts and wounds that admitted our failures.

Chinelo rushed us. I had just enough time to hold up my lightsaber in defense. My yellow saver met his green. Soon, the pale yellow of Niern's crystal lit up his sword and joined our colors. We could defeat Chinelo together, I surveyed. With Lorna down so quickly, we could focus on the combat protege that was Chinelo.

Blurs of light kept me in reality. With every motion my lightsaber made, I wanted to feel the high of battle and the glorious panic induced by the thought of fight. I wanted to drop my Neutrality and fight Chinelo for real.

But I knew the rules. And I obeyed them. They were not bad or harmful rules; they were what they were, and I could follow rules that made sense.

I lunged, spinning in front of Niern to take the brunt of the returning stab. This allowed him to expose the back of Chinelo's defenses. He was fast, by Niern had a way of finding the chinks in people's armor. Unsurprisingly, Chinelo block.

I summoned my second lightsaber from my belt, adding a violent pop of purple onto our canvas. I was tempted to use Niern as a momentary distraction to create a double-sided saber to keep Chinelo more focused to me, but I would have to do with duel-wielding for now.

Niern grunted as Chinelo kicked him in the gut. I pushed Niern's body out of the way as I rammed into Chinelo with my lightsabers at full force.

Picking himself up, Niern went for a decapitation strike, only to be knocked out by the hilt of Chinelo's saber.

It was just Chinelo and I. So, naturally, I charged.

My arms swung loosely, but they never missed their mark. Chinelo was strictly defensive. But, as I had learned, the best defensive is a good offensive, so to blocked his strikes with lunges or parries of my own.

Fluidly, I somehow landed Chinelo under me, my blade under his throat. That was the signal for it to end.

Then, we heard a scream, and our battle was forgotten.

I saw Lorna yelling, attempting to keep away a missed of some sort. When she failed, her eyes glowed green.

Expecting it to be another test, we were completely unprepared for when she ignited her lightsaber and drove it into Niern.

[A/N:
So I may or may not have just ended that on a cliffhanger...

*clears throat unsubtly*

I was hoping that this would better, but I am satisfied with it, I guess.

Btw, comment or PM me questions about the teachings of the Dark Jedi and I will be happy to answer them!

Also, I was wondering if anyone would be interested in sort of a Dark Jedi bible? It would be basic beliefs, origins, and culture. Of course, a lot of that will be explored in the OR spinoff 'Mortality'. *wink wink*

Also, since you guys seemed to like the name pronunciations, I figured I'd do a few more controversial ones.

Nysa — NIH-suh
Chinelo — chē-NELL-ō
Niern — nē-ERN
Yovan — YŌ-vihn
Raaj — ROHŽ

That's all I have for now, but ask me questions, send my likes and comments like the lovely readers you are and have a blessed day!

Peace, love, and
~Art