But in the end, they all drift away. // Even the ones who promised to stay.

Tom and you walked up the hill where a lot of your memories of each other were buried. You felt a feeling of ultimate peace rush into your body as you sat down in the grass. You had missed that place, but you had missed Tom more which left you with no other choice than to avoid it.

Tom loved that spot, he was happy to be back and he was glad to have you there with him. Of course he had missed you talking about the stars for hours, but mostly he missed your laugh as you listened to the stories he made up in his head - the stories about that one cloud that looked like a rabbit or the one that looked like a pirate ship. Tom missed those moments with his best friend.

The two of you were lying down on the ground as you felt your phone buzz, showing a new message from Harrison, who was asking if you had gotten home safely and if Tom had behaved like a gentleman.

"Harrison is asking if you behaved on our drive back." You laughed, showing Tom the message, who started laughing as well.

"What a div." He shook his head as the two of you fell back into a peaceful silence. A silence you couldn't get enough of. You loved how you could just lie there, next to each other, not saying a word and it still felt like you had the most amazing conversation. That was Tom & (Y/N).

"You know, I don't get why you and Harrison never started dating." Tom suddenly said, his eyes still focused on the sky above you.

"Harrison and I?" You burst out laughing, "Why would I ever date Harrison?" His statement confused you, if there was one guy on this earth you wouldn't ever start dating, it was Harrison. He was obviously very nice to look at and an amazing guy, but after all those years he was like a brother to you.

"Because the two of you clearly had feelings for each other years back?" Tom asked confused, he didn't expect that reaction and that answer from you.

"Where did you hear that? Me dating Harrison? Fuck no." You laughed, making Tom turn his head to look at you.

"You don't remember, do you? The night of Luke's party ... a few days before we stopped talking?" Tom asked, confusing you with his question. You thought it had been a normal party where the three of you went home at like 4am, emptied the fridge at the Holland's household, fell asleep in Tom's bed and woke up with a few hours of memories of the night before missing.

"Before you stopped talking to me." You corrected the brunette next to you since your brain was still working on remembering what had happened at that party.

"Not the point." Tom groaned.

"Yes, Tom. That's the point. I never stopped talking to you, never. I wanted to fix whatever was up your butt at that time and I never wanted to lose you. I wasn't ready to say goodbye to you, but you clearly were." You were tired of Tom not realizing that he was the one who walked away and that this was all on him. You wanted him to know that you were in it - forever, and that he was the one to make the decision for the two of you.

"Neither did I, but I didn't have another choice. You think I wanted to do this?"

"That's just the biggest bullshit I've ever heard, Tom. You didn't have a choice? Oh, you sure as hell had. You had thousands of choices, but you chose to ignore me, rip out my heart and let other people fix it. You really think the only choice you had was break me, erase me from your life, act like you didn't even know my name and then come back to do it all over again? If you didn't want to do it, then why the fuck did you do it, Tom?" You shook your head and got up from your place next to Tom, not wanting to let him see you cry over him again. You should have known that this was a bad idea. "This was a mistake. I'm sorry, Tom."

"(Y/N) -" Tom stood up from his place on the ground before taking a step towards you. He wanted to pull you into his arms, but he saw you flinch just by seeing him get closer to you, so he decided against it.

"I can't do this, Tom. This - this is too much, I - just leave me alone." You wrapped your arms around your body and started walking back home, leaving Tom behind.

Did he just lose you again?

The boy sat back down as he let his head drop in his hands, thinking about the night of that party - the night where he felt like he lost you for the first time.

Harrison, Tom and you had been invited to a party by one of your good friends, Luke and somehow you ended up in the backyard with Harrison, who was clearly as drunk as you. The two of you sat down on the grass, with your backs facing the party as Harrison put his arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer since it was too cold for you to be sitting outside with just a simple top.

"You know what? I don't get it ... the situation between you and Tom." Harrison said, making your heart skip a beat. You kind of assumed where this conversation was going and you weren't so sure if you were ready to have it.

"What? What situation?"

"Oh come on, do you think I'm blind? I can see the way he looks at you and the way you look at him. It's been like that for what? Four years now? Stop denying it, for fuck's sake."

"I- what?" You never knew Harrison saw those glances you sent Tom's way. You thought you were pretty down low with your feelings, but the blonde noticed the small things about his best friends.

"(Y/N)," Harrison started, "we both know there are feelings involved."

The two of you didn't realize that Tom was walking over to you, only hearing the last bits of your conversation. The boy slowed down and finally stopped in his tracks as he heard you talk about your feelings.

"I - I don't know. We're friends, but like ... yes of course, all the butterflies are there. It's hard for me to admit that, I don't want to risk that friendship we have, but yes, there are definitely feelings involved." Tom heard you say, making his stomach turn. The boy hadn't heard Harrison ask about Tom and you, so he assumed the two of you were talking about your feelings for each other.

"Why did you never try and talk to me about it? I mean, you know you can tell me everything?" Harrison asked, pulling you closer as you were starting to shake. You weren't sure if it was because of the fact that you finally admitted your feelings for Tom or because it was cold outside.

At that point Tom had heard enough, he felt bad enough for listening to your conversation, but at the same time he felt his heart silently breaking into tiny pieces. The boy had never pictured you falling for his best friend and he had never seen Harrison as someone who was more than just a friend to you. Pictures of you with Harrison fought their way into Tom's drunken thoughts.

The worst part was that he could see it, he saw the way his arm had been around you, he saw how you were leaning into him - and he saw that the two of you would actually look good together. And with those thought floating aroung in his head, his drunk self was convinced that Harrison and you would be a great couple.

Tom blocked out everything around him as he felt a lump form in his throat, he wanted to scream, he wanted to cry and he wanted to stop feeling.

Why did he fall in love with you in the first place?

Tom made his way back into the house where his plan was to drown himself in alcohol, get the thoughts out of his head and try to be happy for you and Harrison. Harrison was a great guy and you deserved nothing but the greatest guy out there - little did he know that it wasn't his best friend you were talking about.

Harrison's and your conversation kept going and if Tom would've listen for only a few more minutes, he would've saved himself - and later on, you - a heartbreak.

"I know I can tell you everything, but it's .. I don't know, it's Tom for fuck's sake. I can't risk that."

"You love him." Harrison stated, not even needing an answer from you, because he knew you were.

The blonde saw how smiley you always got as soon as Tom sat down next to you, he saw how your face would light up when Tom made you laugh and he saw how you acted around Tom. It wasn't like you were very obvious about your feelings - of course you weren't, if you were that obvious Tom would have probably caught on, but Harrison saw how you acted around his best friend and how you acted around him and for him, there was a clear difference - because you were in love with one of them, and it was definitely not Harrison.

"I- I do. Yeah, I guess I do." You whispered more to yourself than to Harrison. You never admitted to yourself that you loved Tom.

You had a crush - yes. You had feelings for him - yes. You fell for him - yes. But you also loved him - more than everything else. Little did you know that this would be the last time for a long time where you said those words out loud.

"But I don't think this would ever work out between us."

"Oh please. The two of you already act like a couple, wouldn't hurt to finally put a label on it, would it?" Harrison laughed, thinking back to all the moments people already saw you as a couple.

"What if we get into a fight? What if we break up? What then?" You asked, finally speaking your biggest fears out loud.

"It will still be Tom and you then, I don't think anything could ruin what the two of you have." Harrison smiled, trying to cheer you up a bit whilst Tom was getting drunk off his ass, before hooking up with the next girl who was willing to have his tongue down her throat.

As soon as you got home, you got ready for bed. You were lying down in your bed, the little sun dangling from your fingers as you were trying to figure out what Tom had meant by mentioning that party. No matter how much you tried, the memories of that night refused to come back. Why did he ask about you and Harrison and why would he think that the two of you had feelings for each other?

There were still too many questions floating around in your head when you finally drifted off to sleep, hoping that the next day would bring answers for all those unanswered questions.

"I didn't have a choice."

Lies?