But in the end, they all drift away. // Even the ones who promised to stay.

Your heart was racing and your hands were trembling as Tom nodded and motioned for you to sit down on his bed as he sat down on his chair.

"So.." he asked, fidgeting with his hands, obviously knowing that this was going to be the talk. The boy knew that the two of you needed to talk about what happened three years ago, but he wasn't ready. What was he going to tell you? He couldn't just tell you that he was too much of a wimp to tell you how he felt and that he thought you were in love with his best friend, "What do you want to talk about?"

"I think you know what we need to talk about."

"Yeah." He mumbled, looking at his shaky fingers, too scared to look at you. He knew how much he hurt you and he knew that he fucked up, but was he really going to talk about everything that was going on inside of him back then?

"First of all, I- uh, I would kind of like to know if this talk is going to be worth it or if I should just leave and we're going back to where it ended, because I don't know, I don't want this to be another one of those moments where my heart shatters into pieces, I'm-" you started rambling.

"No! No, please, stay. We should talk. I-I want to talk. I want this to work out." His head shot up, the fear of losing you again written all over his face, "Please, don't go." He begged as he let his right hand glide through his hair, showing how nervous he was.

"Okay.", you smiled at the boy in front of you, "then let's talk."

"Okay.", Tom sent you a quick smile before taking a deep breath, "I know I've said it before, but, I-I'm terribly sorry for everything I put you through. I-I didn't think and I know I messed up, but I had my reasons and I honestly didn't think about how much ... how much it would hurt you. I never meant to - fuck, I never meant to make you cry, (Y/N). This is so stupid. This sound so stupid if I say it out loud, and I'm so fucking sorry. I just - I wish I could turn back time."

"It hurt, Tom. So fucking much." You felt a tear roll down your cheek. You knew there was no way you weren't going to cry, but you didn't think it would be this early, at least not before you could tell him how much it messed you up, "Do you know how much it hurt to hear those words coming from the person you thought was the only person on this damn world who would never hurt you? I - I sat in my room for days, crying my eyes out. You hurt me, so damn much and I - I still don't know the reason. That's what made it so bad, because I had no idea what I did to make you say that. I didn't know if it was my fault, but I kept assuming that I did something to drive you away from me."

Tom wanted to wrap you up in his arms and he wanted to tell you how much of an idiot he was for letting you go, but he knew it wasn't the right time to get close to you. He knew the two of you had to talk about it before you could move on and try to be friends again. The boy felt himself hold back his own tears.

Seeing you wipe the tears from your cheeks made his heart ache, knowing that he was the one who caused them, broke it.

"I-I never meant to hurt you like that."

"You did, Tom. You broke me. I was too scared to trust anyone for two and a half years, I mean, we're not talking about where that one went wrong, but do you know how much it messed me up that you told me I was too clingy? Up to this day I can't ask people if they want to hang out. I can't just call someone and ask them if they want to go out or do something. It doesn't matter if you didn't mean to hurt me, you did." You felt the muscles of your chin tremble, looking at the window as if the light was going to soothe you. A great sob escaped your mouth as you covered your face with shaking hands. The walls that held you back from starting to break down crying collapsed.

Tom's vision was blurry, it was difficult for him to see through the tears that had formed in his eyes. He sniffled quietly, the tears threatening to spill from his eyes. The boy couldn't take it anymore, he couldn't see you break down like that without doing anything. Getting up from his seat on his chair, he sat down next to you as you let yourself fall against his chest, soaking his shirt with tears within seconds.

"I've got you." Tom whispered as his arms went around your body, holding you close to him.

"(Y/N), jump, for fuck's sake!" You heard Tom shout from the bottom of the cliff. The Holland's had invited you to join them on their family holiday and Tom had already confirmed that you were tagging along before he even told you about the trip. You were currently standing on top of a cliff, too scared to jump into the sea. The Holland boys had all gone down already and were now shouting at you from the water.

"I can't do this, Tom." You laughed, stepping back, but still standing close enough to the cliff so you could see Tom.

"Yes, you can, Sunshine, just jump. I promise I'll make sure you're safe."

"Your promise means nothing after you betrayed me in Monopoly last night! You promised we were a team. Where was your damn promise after I landed on your damn hotel, huh? That's right, traitor. I can't trust a word you're saying." You laughed as Tom flipped you off.

"Is'a game, Love. You need to take a chill pill." He shouted, amusement showing on his face.

"Oh I'll give you a fucking chill pill if I ever get down from here."

"Just fucking jump, (Y/N). It's not that bad!" You heard Harry shout from behind Tom.

"I'll shave your head tonight if you don't shut your mouth, Harold."

"Come on, I promise I won't let anything happen to you." Tom shot you his signature smile, making your brain go dizzy.

"Promise?"

"Promise. I'll even drag your dead body out of the water so the sharks won't eat it." He giggled.

"You're an absolute ass, did anyone tell you that already?" You groaned, taking another step towards the edge of the cliff.

"You can do it, Love. Come on." He smiled as you took the final step. You felt the cold of the sea hit you only a split second after. You were still trying to reach the surface as hands wrapped around you, pulling the two of you up for air.

"I told you I've got you." Tom grinned as you were holding on to him, your legs wrapping around his waist while you were still trying to catch your breath.

"So, are we going again?" You giggled as Tom brought the two of you back to the shore.

"Can you at least tell me the reason why you did?" You mumbled as you tried to calm down, lifting your head from his chest to look at the boy who broke your heart into pieces. Tears were still spilling from your eyes as you asked the question Tom had avoided to answer for years.

"I-I don't .. I- yeah, I guess it's probably my time to talk." He took a deep breath, wiping the tears that had escaped from his cheeks, "So, I-I don't know where to even start. I- I guess, you remember when I asked you why Harrison and you never started dating?" He asked as you nodded.

"It- it was at Luke's party ... I walked outside to hear the two of you talking about your feelings ... a-and I heard you telling Harrison that you had feelings and that you didn't want to ruin the friendship."

"Y-You heard that?" Your eyes widened as you assumed Tom knew about your feelings for him and decided to stop being friends with you because he didn't feel the same, "I-I didn't know you heard all of that..."

"No, I-I didn't hear all of it. I never heard any names and I-I assumed you were in love with Harrison and- and my heart broke in that exact moment." He said as he wiped another tear from his cheek.

"W-What? You ... You thought I had feelings for Harrison?"

"Yeah, I thought the girl ... I thought the girl I was so madly in love with fell in love with my best friend." He finally said the words, that had been haunting him for years, out loud. The boy finally told you his reasons, making your whole body go numb. Tom used to be in love with you?

"You were in love with me?"

"Yeah, hearing you talk about your - well what I assumed - your feelings for Harrison broke me. I tried for weeks to accept that you deserved to be happy even if it wasn't with me. I tried to be happy for the two of you. I tried everything to stop my heart from hurting, but I couldn't take it anymore. I knew I had to get away from you. I still regret how I did it and that I did it, but when I realized how stupid I was, it was too late and I - I guess I was too proud to admit that I fucked up."

"Why did you never try and talk to me about it?"

"I didn't want to let my feelings destroy our friendship, which is pretty stupid if you think about it now. But I saw you with Harrison and the worst thing was that it fit. I made myself believe that the two of you were good together and that you deserved to be with each other, without me trying to get between you."

"I was never in love with Harrison, y'know." You whispered, looking at him as his red and swollen eyes looked back at you.

"I know... Harrison - Harrison told me what the conversation was about like two days ago. I-I wish I would've known. I'm so fucking sorry. I never meant for thing to go this way, I didn't think, fuck I couldn't think right at that point. My heart was broken and I knew I had to get away, no matter what the outcome was. Fuck, I- I mean, have you ever love anyone that much that you just couldn't take anymore? I had to get away from all of this. I needed to stop loving you." He sniffled quietly as his hands covered his face.

"This isn't a reason to walk away. Why - Why didn't you just fucking talk to me?" You asked. You were still trying to cope with the fact that Tom loved you and that the reason he walked away was because he thought you were in love with Harrison. "Why did you tell me to leave you alone?"

"I-I don't know. I wish I could turn back time to that day. I wish I would've just told you how I felt and I wish I would've just fucking kissed you instead of getting into my car and driving away."

"I loved you, Tom. I loved you so much when you told me to leave you alone. And you know what? I-I still do, fuck, I still love you, but I can't look at you without hearing those words now. This is breaking me. The past three years, I wanted to know the reasons, I wanted to know why you walked away. Now I know them, and I-I don't know what to say, I wish you would've told me back then, I wish everything would've gone the way we wanted it to go. I- I just don't know if I can do this anymore." Tom was still repeating the words I still love you in his head, not realizing that you got up from his bed.

"I-I should go, I-I think I need some time."

"I love you, Sunshine."

Truth.