TOTAL RECALL

To say I was floored would be an understatement.

I stared at him from the safety of my seat, buried in shadow where I could watch without fear of being seen.

It was weird seeing Trip up there, perfectly at home, strutting from one edge of the scene to the other. I sat there, transfixed by the sight of him onstage. He looked so gorgeous in his suit and fedora that it almost put Brando to shame. And my God, the guy could actually act! He even managed a dead-on New York accent. Not bad for a kid who'd only been living here for little more than half a year. By his second scene, you could just feel the audience tuning in, holding their breath with anticipation, engrossed by the performance he was giving.

Once he started singing "I'll Know", I realized that not only could he act, but he could actually sing, too. I watched enviously as he kissed Heather Ferrante, but laughed along with the audience when she slapped him. How many girls would've loved to have done that to him over the years?

I had the most ridiculous guilt, not even knowing what Trip had been up to the past months, hard at work, obviously pouring himself into such an endeavor. Knowing how much of a perfectionist he'd been over our stupid Shakespeare film, I couldn't imagine how obsessed he'd been while preparing for something like this. I kept thinking that I wasn't there to help him with it, wasn't able to be his comic relief during the endless drudgery of rehearsals, wasn't there to encourage him through the frustrating moments that I knew he'd encountered along the way.

I made myself let go of my remorse, at least for the next hour or so, in order to enjoy the show. I decided that it was his big moment and I didn't want to ruin it by letting my overactive brain distract me from it, so I pushed the self-absorbed thoughts aside and focused solely on what was happening onstage.

I smiled as he danced with Heather/Sarah and laughed when he had his huge fight scene with Big Jule. By the time he broke into "Luck Be a Lady", he had won me over; I'd been captivated by his every move, infatuated at his every word.

It was heartbreaking just to look at him.

There was something so beautiful about him, a glow that came from more than just the stagelights, and the more I watched, something deep inside me started to ache.

I felt Coop give my hand a squeeze, and until that moment, I hadn't realized I was crying. I became conscious of what Coop must have already noticed, the few traitorous tears dampening my cheeks.

I knew then that in spite of my denials, despite whatever brave face I'd been presenting to the world, no matter how much I tried to pretend that Trip didn't exist... I'd never stopped loving him.

I gave Coop a quick look of gratitude and squeezed his hand right back, registering why he hadn't told me about his plans to come see his friend in the play that night. Even the mere mention of Trip's name would have hurt me; even though I'd put up a good front, he knew I'd never truly gotten over him. That it should have been Cooper that recognized that- and taken pity- touched me in a way I can't describe.

By the time the play had ended, I was emotionally spent, but at least my eyes were dry. The guys immediately made their way backstage, giving me a moment alone with Lisa.

She was sifting through her purse, trying to find her chapstick, when I asked the million dollar question. "So, am I right to assume you didn't drag me here tonight just to see Penelope in a supporting role?"

Lisa abandoned her search to reply, "No, not 'just'. Penny's been telling me for weeks how good Trip was in this thing. I didn't think you'd want to miss it. Are you mad?"

I thought about how she had suffered through an evening in near proximity to her ex-boyfriend and his family in order to let me have this experience. It was a gamble, but I was grateful she'd taken it.

"No, I'm not mad."

"He was really good."

"Yeah, I know." Good didn't quite cover it, but I didn't want to seem all sappy and crushy.

As we were getting our things to leave, I saw Pickford make his way over. I gave Lisa a nudge, and when she turned and saw him, her whole body went stiff.

In the brief, awkward second of silence, I said, "Hey, Pick."

He barely looked at me to reply, "Whatsup, Layla," his eyes locked onto Lisa.

I didn't know whether I should take off and give them some privacy or if Lisa wanted me to stick around for moral support. So, I just kind of tried to blend into the background while those two continued to stare at one another.

Finally, I said, "Penelope did a great job tonight."

That broke Pickford's trance enough for him to reply, "Yeah. Yeah, she did. I was just heading backstage to congratulate her. You guys want to come?"

There was no way I was going to be responsible for making the decision on that one. Lisa finally spoke and answered, "Yeah, sure, why not?" But she grabbed my hand in an iron vise, letting me know that she wasn't going back there alone.

We grabbed our jackets and purses and followed Pick backstage, where there was a crowded frenzy of about a million people, all the actors talking animatedly with their friends and family. We had to plow our way through the crowd to find Penelope, who was in the process of kissing Dr. and Mrs. Redy goodbye. Just as we approached, they departed, and I was relieved that Lisa wasn't forced to make nice with them. Having to deal with Pickford was probably enough for her at the moment.

I was able to get in a quick, "Congratulations, Penny, you were great!" before I heard Rymer's big mouth behind me.

I turned involuntarily at the sound and saw that Trip was standing only a few paces away, looking right in my direction. Lisa was busy hugging Penelope, so she didn't see him nod his head at me in greeting. With Lisa distracted, I was flying solo on that one, so I took the path of least resistance by politely smiling and giving a quick wave.

I turned my attentions back toward my little group and saw that Lisa and Pick were trying very hard not to look at one another as they excitedly discussed the play with Penelope, but I did notice that they were, in fact, holding hands. I was so stunned by that that I hadn't noticed the tap on my shoulder was coming from Trip.

I turned, startled to see him there, smiling at me as if the past five months of our standoff hadn't occurred at all. Before I could think of how I was going to handle that, he directed my attention to the older couple standing next to him, by way of making an introduction. "Mom, Dad, I want you to meet Layla. Layla, these are my parents."

I wasn't about to snub the guy on his big night while his parents were standing right there, so I held out my hand to them both. Plastering a smile on my face, I said, "Nice to meet you."

Mr. Wilmington was a hulking, stern-looking man, but a smile cracked his façade when I did that. He gave my hand a good shake as Mrs. Wilmington just prattled on about how proud she was of Trip. Something about the way she was lavishing on the compliments made me think she was the type of mother that would have been just as indulgent in her praise had he just taken out the garbage extraordinarily well. But it was actually kinda cute.

Mr. Wilmington finally cut in, saying, "Okay, Maddie. You're going to embarrass the boy in front of his friend." He was almost laughing, sliding an arm around her shoulders and trying to get her to make with the farewells. At last, she gave Trip a final hug and they said goodbye to the both of us.

There we were, alone in the middle of a roomful of people. I wasn't quite sure why Trip had broken our silent treatment, but he looked so elated that I figured he'd have been busting with excitement toward anyone he encountered that night, even me.

I was glad to have been given the chance to tell him in person, "Trip, I gotta say... You were... so good!"

That made him grin even wider than he already was, and I could tell he was puffing up with pride even as he tried to downplay my compliment. "Thanks. But I think you're being too kind. It was no big deal, I was just okay."

I wasn't going to gush all over him, but he deserved to know what a great job he'd done. He deserved to know how he'd mesmerized the audience. How he'd mesmerized me. "Trip, stop. You blew the roof off this place tonight. Everyone loved you."

"Everyone?" he asked, without even missing a beat, looking at me like he expected me to answer him with unconditional adulation, answer him like the old Layla who idolized him and harbored a big, fat crush on him.

But New Layla wasn't biting.

"Truly, Trip. You could just feel how much the audience enjoyed themselves whenever you were on stage. I swear."

That seemed to please him immensely. He grinned ear to ear and immediately wrapped his arms around me for a hug. I'm sure he had only been trying to thank me for the nice words, but the gesture was startling enough on its own.

But then suddenly, the embrace turned into something much more.

Before I knew it, I was hugging him back, my heart leaping out of my chest, the electricity passing between us like lightning. Trip felt it, too, because the hug went on for much longer than necessary. I could feel his hands smoothing against my back almost imperceptively, his lips turning toward my neck ever so slightly, breathing me in, sending shockwaves through my veins. He pulled back slowly to look me in the eyes and I'm sure I must've looked as stunned as a deer in the headlights. His smile was gone, replaced with a seriousness I'd never seen on his face before, his heavy lids focused on my lips... and as he leaned in...

...Rymer jumped on his back, almost knocking my teeth out.

"Heeey, Brando! You believe this guy, huh? Warren, can you get a load of this guy or what?"

Rymer noogied Trip's head quickly before releasing him from a full-nelson and giving him a high-five. It was as though he were going for gold in the Cliché Eighties Jock Triathlon. Coop and Sargento opted for a simple handshake instead, announcing that they were splitting for the Barrens.

"You gonna make it over there later?" Cooper asked, and I didn't know if the question was being put to me or Trip.

Trip answered, "Nah. Probably not. I have to hit the wrap party tonight. Hey, you guys wanna come?"

Rymer looked at him like he'd grown a second head as he laughed out, "Party with the Theatre Fags? Thanks, but I think we'll take a pass, dude."

Coop and I just rolled our eyes at each other as I leaned in to kiss him goodbye.

Lisa popped over just then, letting me know that she and Pickford were ready to leave. She gave me the bug-eyes, silently willing me not to offer commentary while whispering, "Can you believe this?"

No. No, I couldn't. But she seemed happy, so I shut up and figured I'd get the whole story once we were alone.

Before I could say my goodbyes to Trip, he piped up and said, "Lis- I'll drive Layla home." He looked at me and added, "If that's all right with you, obviously."

I was stunned and confused and didn't know what to say. Lisa wasn't waiting for me to make my own decision on the matter and cut in with, "Yeah. That's fine. Hey, Trip, you were great tonight!" Before I knew it, she was kissing me on the cheek and chirping, "Okay, guys, see you later!" Then she grabbed Pick's arm and led him out the door.

That just left Trip and me standing there by ourselves again, recovering from our near miss. Trip took my hand and said softly, "Hey. Come to the party with me tonight, Lay."

I looked down at his fingers threaded through mine, not quite believing what I was seeing. "I don't know, Trip... I don't want to crash..."

"You're not crashing, I'm inviting you. C'mon, it'll be fun."

I didn't know what brought about the change in him, but the last time I'd seen that look on his face, he was standing under my bedroom window after the homecoming dance.

That was the last good night between us, the unofficial end of our affiliation. I'd spent months after that trying to maintain my distance from him, convince myself that I was better off without him. It seemed impossible, but I had done it. I had purged Trip Wilmington out of my system and gone on with my life. After all that, would I really even consider putting myself in a position to go down that same road all over again?

You'd fucking better believe it.

***Go, Layla!!! Next chapter will post on MONDAY. Thanks for reading, everyone... because Remember When is currently sitting at #8 in Romance and #1 in Chick-Lit!!! Look what you did! WOW!!!!***

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