I left the school by myself in a weird haze I couldn't run from. I decided to walk home instead of having to answer questions I didn't want to. I called Heavenly to make sure she was alright, she chose to ride home with a friend. I passed my house after a few long seconds of debating and went to Mackay Mansion, I needed to talk to Valarie. So much has happened and I needed to just vent... like old times. At this point I didn't care about Aden and their relationship I'm the last person to judge after all.

I was hoping I wouldn't run into Cullen, after all what would I say to him? This whole time, thirty years he's been running from peace. Self sabotaging himself over what? Aden and Charlotte! Even if he explained himself it would never make sense to me, why must he lie? Was there a certain appeal the way I ate up his lies, believed him, trusted him.

I found Valarie alone sitting on the old waterless fountain, staring off into the woods. "Hey stranger."

Valarie looked up at me her deep green eyes glazed over, she got up and ran into my arms. Her skin against mine was cold and distant, causing shivers to erupt through my hands. "Cullen told me everything,"she said as I held her lightly.

"Is he here?" I asked wearily.

"He's been gone all night."

"Grim told me he could cross over whenever he wanted," I gulped. When Valarie didn't seem surprised I pulled from her grasp, "Did you know?"

"Aden told me," she crossed her arms as she chewed on her bottom lip.

"And you didn't think to tell me?"

"I didn't know how close you two were not till tonight, when I seen you and him kiss. I was going to surprise you tonight," she explained playing with her shirt. "I know it was risky but I had to see you."

"You can't leave here ever again," I warned her. "With the Grim in town you are even more danger then before."

"Aden said I have nothing to worry about."

I hardly knew the guy and I was already tired of his name, "Yeah well he's wrong." I walked back over to the fountain and took in the chipped mermaid, thinking to myself. "How much do you know?"

"I know you are a banshee, I know the only reason I'm still here is because of Cullen. You might be upset with him right now but just remember he's been alone for thirty years. He didn't want to disappoint you."

"How would you know that?"

"We talk about you a lot, mostly because I miss you but because he likes to hear about you. If I'm not mistaken, that's a guy falling in love."

I meet Valaries soft eyes, "Were just friends."

"Friends don't kiss the way you and Cullen did, the way you look at each other is everything but friendship, even Charolette is green with envy."

"Maybe," I shrugged. "But I kissed Bryce, and if I'm to be honest everything is so much more simple with him."

"That's not love," she scuffed.

"I'm not trying to fall in love," I grumbled. "My life has become so different now, I see ghosts all the time. And when I sing, when I feel death it just reminds me that I'm just as dead inside. Cullen is better off without me."

"That's not true," she said weakly. "But I know no matter what I say you'll just keep pushing away. You said you wanted to find love like your parents, and you have that just fingertips away."

"Cullen doesn't belong here," I sat down. "You don't belong here, Aden none of you really." I looked up at her, "Do you love him?"

"God no," she paused. "The Grim though, he makes my heart leap out of my chest," she swooned.

"Gross," I gagged. "I heard he's in the market for a bride I could put in a good word for you."

"Cullen says that could mean many things," she said slowly.

"I don't trust him," I said as the trees winded above us.

"I don't know, he went through on his deal with Cullen he made years ago, he seems like an honorable man."

"He's the reaper of death not a saint," I reminded her. "Grim says well be staying here till our work is done and then well be off to the next," I said nervously. "If you dont crossover you'll have to come with me and thats the last going I want."

"I think peace is closer then its ever been for me, I can almost feel brighter, lighter then I've felt since I died. Its hard to explain. Blar no one took the time to understand you, Aden lives that life every day. Hes a victim just like Charolette even though she's not the nicest person," we shared a spark of laughter, "You might not like him but he's actually helping me. I think what I really needed was to have hope in you, I worried what would you do without me? And after this week, after I've seen you go after what you want, like the old Blair, I knew that you'd be just fine in a world without me."

"It doesnt feel like it," I sniffled. Of course I was happy for her, this is the closest she's ever been to a new world, a life where she can soar higher then this world could ever take her. The thought of losing Valarie all over again pained me, angered me more then I liked to admit.

"I'm not leaving till you do, don't worry," she nugged me playfully. "I will never rest till I see you out of this town."

"I'm scared," I admitted. "I mean I already came to terms with everything but I try to picture my future and I cant. I don't want to be a banshee, I dont want my life consumed with death, and most importantly I dont want to even be in the same room as the Grim. Is that selfish?"

"No, this is a lot for one person let alone a seventeen year old girl. Is he really that bad?"

"No, he just makes me feel anxious, unsafe I dont trust him from the moment I heard his name."

"Well you have no choice..." Valaries voice dragged off into nothing.

"Unless i died, I would cross over immediately I know it," I meet her gaze and watched as her face twisted in horror.

"You can't be serious?" She hissed.

"I am," I licked my lips trying to gather my thoughts so I didn't sound insane. "I will do all I can here but the moment he tries to take me I will find a way out. I don't care if dying is the only way out but I will not be chained for the rest of my life." She said nothing. "I was supposed to die that night, not you. I'm not cut out for this life you seen what being a reaper is doing to Bryce. He's barely hanging on to himself, I'm too weak."

"You're not weak," Valarie grabbed me by the shoulders forcing me to look up at her sunken in face. "And you are not copping out, you got a second chance and maybe its not the second chance you wanted but you won't give up do you hear me? You are my best friend and I will do everything in my power to help you while I still can, you will have a life after this."

"Banshee by night, human by day? It wont work," I shook my head. "I was just getting used to life, used to being myself and now I just feel like I'm not really here, I'm watching myself like a mirror but I can't move, I cant talk. I'm useless."

"I'm a ghost Blair, and you are a Banshee. A year ago we would have laughed of the thought, I'm not going to say its been easy but this last year with you has been the best year of my life, but also the worst," her eyes flickered with sadness but it was gone in seconds. "We just have to remember there is happiness after this, most people are never even certain of their afterlife but we are. The most you can do is get to know Grim, maybe you two of you could actually do a lot of good I mean look what you've done already."

"A girl died tonight, she didnt cross over and Grim, he had to capture her soul after that I just cant feel the same. She wont find peace in her dreams, its not fair."

"I know," she said lightly.

"You think Aden can help you cross over?" I asked thoughtfully.

"I think we'll help each other, maybe after Aden goes Cullen will too."

"Who knows," I sighed getting up. "I should probably go before Cullen gets back. When you see him can you tell him I need to talk to him tomorrow?"

"Of course." Valarie and I talked lightheartedly for a few minutes more before I decided to walk home.

...................................................................................................................................

As I slowly walked to my porch, I found Grim sitting on the porch swing the night moon glistening above us. "What are you doing here?" I asked tiredly not able to hide to edge of fear in my voice, damn him.

"I dont want there to be bad blood between us," he said calmly. "I know you have every intention to hate me for the rest of your life, which is odd. That's usually the opposite effect I have on woman," he turned away from my gaze. "You would have never became a banshee if you weren't meant to be one, that is the one truth I can offer you. Just as Bryce the both of you died beside people you loved larger then life, but the world still needed you, you still needed the world. Hate is a strong thing, it can blind you. You might see me as the bad guy right now but you have no idea the horrors that walk in the night," he stood up and closed the distance between us, our breaths heavy. "If I could have asked you to pick between life and death would you have honestly chosen death?" I gulped my eyes shifting after a moment he smiled only slightly, but it was full of bitterness. "Thats what I thought. You could either be something greater or you could waste your life, the choice is yours. I'll at least give you that."

"What do you mean?" My heart almost stopped, I held my breath anxiously.

"You can live your life as you wish, here with the people you love after you help me with this town or you can help me make this world a safer place. I wont work with someone who wishes my death it's embarrassing, I'll be back tomorrow night for your answer" he said coldly, walking past me and disappearing in an instant behind me.

I couldn't understand what he had just said... no I understood, I just couldn't believe it. I had a choice. Why didnt I feel any better about it though? Why did I feel worse the before, unworthy of the clear choice I had to make, and the choice I desired more then anything.