Jackson -

Harsh winds growl outside the windows of my dodge charger as we speed through green lights to the familiar haven I call my own. The streets are emptied of people and vehicles, which is normal considering the late hour.

"I was trying to suss out if I felt that-" Maggie hesitates, probably wondering how angry I'll be once I hear the truth. "Spark. Um- With Nick. It seems so stupid now, and I don't expect you to understand."

Heat rises in my chest and my fingers grip the leather around the steering wheel until my knuckles begin turning a shade of white. The flames inside me continue traveling to my face and arms as I picture the scene I walked in on.  The love of my life straddling Nick. 

Damnit.

The scene replays in my mind, more vividly than the imagery I'd seen staring back at me the night I almost picked up that tempting bottle of whiskey.

What is it with women and that fucking spark?

Maggie's face falls into her hands with disappointment and she leans back into her seat with defeat. Once, I would have felt sorry for her beating herself up like this, but tonight I couldn't care less.

"Well? Did you find it?" I ask, curiosity overruling the anger tugging in my chest.  Maggie sits straight in her seat, surprised I'm speaking to her at all.

"I mean, he really is such a nice guy, he's smart, and fun-" She starts, but I cut her off.

"Bloody hell.  Maggie, did you find the fucking spark or no?" I ask, impatient as all hell.

"No." She answers definitively.

My lips betray me and a smirk forces its way onto my face which I quickly correct. I release the hold on the gas pedal to slow to a more normal speed as the tension in the car begins to lift.

Our drive is quiet.  With the radio off, the sound of whirring air flying by our car is the only melody. Maggie leans her forehead against the glass, watching lit up businesses whirl by us as we drive.

We stay this way for another ten minutes before I pull into the small deserted lot for Lookout Mountain.

I exit the car and resist the urge to slam the door shut before leaning against the hood of my car.  The quiet desert air is calming and the temperature, although still at least eighty degrees is lower the higher up the mountain we get.

I'd like to put as much distance as I can between us and the world, so I turn to check on Maggie. I'm a little surprised that she hasn't exited the vehicle. Her face has been lifted from the glass window and her depressed slump has straightened into one formed from curiosity.

I half-expect her to follow, but she doesn't move. She just sits in the passenger seat, belt still buckled, and timidly staring back at me.

Nothing.

Timid and confused, that's not my Maggie. I give up the waiting game and decide she'll join me when she's ready, but before I even reach the start of the trail I hear the car door slam behind me.

I turn to find Maggie, her ocean eyes lock with mine as she heads cautiously in my direction and goosebumps rise on her arms.  She bites her lip, embarrassed that even a simple gaze can spark the electricity in her. 

The damn spark she was looking for has been here all along, waiting patiently on the fucking sideline for her to open her eyes. 

Bullocks.

I've never been a man to wait around for a woman, yet here I am willing to hear out the girl who's ripped my heart out of my chest and played a fucking game with it. 

Our eye contact seems to be too much for her, so she avoids my gaze, focusing on the weathered metal map which describes the trail and warns of rattlesnakes, coyotes, and cacti.

Her face immediately falls as she groans and lets me know her disappointment. "I'm not exactly dressed for hiking."

My heart stops as I hear the simple words. Words that to any other man would mean nothing other than their intent, yet to me, they're a hint my Maggie is still in there.

I hear my heartbeat quicken and I desperately attempt to rid myself of the goofy smile I'm sure I'm sporting.

"It's an easy hike, when I checked you out earlier I noticed you weren't wearing heels." I tease. "You'll be fine, come on."

"Did you bring me here to kill me?" Maggie asks, reluctant to move while she watches me trudge on in front of her.

I can't help but laugh as I remember the first time I brought her here.  She was reluctant then as well, although, she let loose shortly after.

"Not today, Maggie." I answer, insinuating if she drives me crazy enough, I just might another night.

I head onwards up the slim path that leads me to my own private area, yet I don't hear a single footstep behind me. 

"You coming?" I shout over my shoulder.

"I don't know." She admits, her voice sounding desperate and confused. 

"Alright, suit yourself." I turn and toss her the keys to my Dodge, calling her bluff. "Don't run the battery dry."

I watch Maggie stare down at the shiny silver keys in the palm of her hand then tilt her head back towards the night sky and groan.  I shrug, unwilling to put much effort into convincing her to follow because unfortunately I just caught her with another man's tongue down her throat and tread onwards.

I hear something of a pout behind me and suddenly a pitter-patter of footsteps, signaling Maggie's decision to join me.

"Watch your step, this is a bit tougher terrain then you're probably used to." I warn when I realize she's running to catch up.

The path in front of us is full of different size rocks and lined with multiple species of Cacti.  It's dark, out only light from the gleam of the city and neither one of us carry a flashlight. It would be a mess if she were to fall, and I know she'd probably never return.

"Why are we hiking a mountain?" Maggie's voice perks up, suddenly much closer behind me.

"I'm hiking a mountain.  You, Miss Carpenter, can do whatever you bloody want." I tease, my traitorous lips rise in a half-smile and I'm thankful she's unable to see my face from behind.

"Are you punishing me?" She half questions, but more so complains.

I turn to remind her that she is her own person and can do as she pleases, but I watch her trip over a loosely planted rock and fall forward.  Instinctively, I reach out, catching her just before her knees skim the rocks and grip her waist to pull her back on her feet.

Maggie's small hands grip my biceps until her little knuckles turn a shade of white and her ocean eyes linger on mine. The thin fabric of her yellow dress is clutched between my fingers from where I gripped her. It's dark, but she's just clear enough for me to see her silhouette from the glow of the city lights below.

Without a proper thought, I carefully tuck a loose lock of hair behind her ear and watch the goosebumps rise on her collar bone. My knuckles brush against her jawline and her breath hinges as her eyes shut, seemingly embarrassing the caress.

I fight the desperate temptation to bring my lips to hers, as sudden thirst overwhelms me and forces me to wet my lips. Her ocean eyes which once stared into mine are distracted by my lips, no doubt curious if we've got the spark she's been searching for.

We do, I've felt it a thousand times before, but it's too soon now to make a move.  I pull the metal lip ring between my teeth, attempting to rid the thought of how her mouth would feel pressed to mine, and make sure she's got steady footing before turning and heading up the trail.

Her nose scrunches with disappointment, but she seems to understand as she carefully follows my footsteps forward.

The rest of our walk is made in silence, and it doesn't take long until we arrive at the top.  A perfect plateau with a small patch of grass that looks out to the city. Houses and towers are fully lit and the city glows brightly tonight, yet it doesn't hinder the stars shining above.

"Wow, it's beautiful." She breathes, starring out at the view, but a hint of sadness falls over her face. "Have we been here before?"

I sit on the sparse patch of grass, the perfect size for two, and pat the ground next to me.

She eyes her yellow sundress, fiddling the thin fabric between her fingers.  She's seemingly undecided until she finds a dirt patch already staining her dress and shrugs, apparently giving in as she plops down beside me.

"We have." I run my fingers through my hair nervously.  I wonder how far into detail I should actually go, I'm sure it's not the right time to tell her about her first real sexual experience. "We came here once before, just to get to know each other further."

I applaud myself for my answer until she begins to speak again and I'm instantly on guard.

"What did we talk about?" She asks nervously as her fingers pull out a lock of sun-kissed brunette hair to play with.

"Maggie-" I hesitate, I'm not sure this is what she really wants to hear. "

"Our favorite colors." She laughs the moment I answer and I roll my eyes before relaxing into the grass to stare up at the night sky.

"Oh, and what was yours?" She asks.

"The color of your eyes." I answer though I know her response would be another laugh.

"Smooth Charming." She teases. "Did I fall for that crap before?"

"Not at first, you were always just as cynical as you are now, but the way I explained it-" I shrug.

"So try me again." She cuts me off, laying close next to me and eagerly awaiting my response.

I sit up, fingers tilting her chin so I can stare into her eyes which are just barely lit up from the city lights shining below.

"I didn't know I had a favorite color until I saw your eyes, shades of blue ever-changing with the world around them." A blush taints her cheeks and I know it's working, but the funny part is I'm only speaking the truth.

"They are ever-changing.  Ocean blue with flecks of emerald green as the sun's rays melt into them during the day, but at night, in our most passionate moments they're a deep sapphire blue." Maggie's face burns a bright shade of red as she attempts to look away but I gently guide her back with a single finger on her chin. "Like the sapphire blue shade in the deep ocean, glistening at midnight and reflecting the moon."

Her deep blue ocean eyes burn into mine, startling my words so that I couldn't say more if I wanted to. She's no longer cowering or attempting to pull away.

"I bet my answer was boring in comparison." She whispers as a gust of warm wind blows a strand of hair into her face, dulling our intense moment.

She blows it out of her eyes, comically and lays flat beside me, joining me watch the stars shooting across the night sky and attempting to calm her breathing.

"Let's start off with something easier." I say breaking the tension. "How have you been since the hospital?"

Maggie rolls on her side to face me, seemingly in shock that I even care about how she's feeling. 

"I don't think anyone's asked me that yet, not even-" She hesitates and I resist the urge to roll my eyes since I know the name on the tip of her tongue, Nick.

"You should keep better company." I tease, unable to fully hold my asshole self back.

Maggie laughs and slaps my shoulder playfully.  The beautiful sound tickles my ears and I feel it begin to thaw the ice over my now cold and bitter heart.

"Come on, tell me truthfully how you've been. Waking up in a hospital with years worth of memory gone has to be difficult." I encourage her to open up, in hopes she'll let down that wall she's built to keep me out.

"It's-" Maggie struggles.  I'm assuming with deciding if she should just blow past the question with a 'fine' or really tell me how she feels. "It's fucking awful."

My eyes grow wide with her admission. I wasn't expecting her to be so brutally honest, let alone curse.

"I'm sorry." She retracts and I quickly step in.

"Don't you dare apologize for being honest. I asked, I want to hear everything, the good and the bad." I admit. "I was just surprised, you've said fuck more times than usual tonight."

"I guess I'm taking after you." She teases, and I raise my brow in disbelief. "Uhg, you just make me crazy. I don't normally curse."

"I know." I smirk.

"Of course you do, that's what's so difficult." She admits as she sits up abruptly.

"What do you mean?" I ask, sitting up and prepping for a more difficult conversation.

"I don't even know how I got here, I feel so lost. I just woke up one day, unable to move. I was terrified and frozen, lost in my mind because I wasn't able to open my eyes, move my fingers, and for Christ's sake I couldn't even scream. Lord knows I tried."

My throat begins to close as I imagine her coming out of a coma, unable to move or even open her eyes.  The realization of not having control over your body, with no recollection of what happened, my eyes begin to sting as they glaze over slightly.

"I had no way of knowing how long I laid there half-conscious, but I could hear the clock on the wall.  Tick, tick, tick." She pauses, lost in the moment. "I spent hours focusing on my fingertips, hours concentrating on my eyelids, just begging them to open."

Her eyes glaze over and she clears her throat, forbidding tears from falling.

"When they finally opened, I found my life gone, a new one replacing it. My old friends gone, replaced with strangers. Strangers who plague my nightmares, who already know everything about me, yet I swear I've never laid eyes on them before."

"I understand." I nod and gently squeeze her hand but she pulls away determined.

"No jack, you can't understand. I know you want to try, but you can't.  I feel so lost, everywhere I look, disappointment, hurt, and utter confusion." She perks up and leans closer to me as she explains. "Sam is gone. Bethany had a new life until my accident, but her life came to a halt so she could take care of me."

She hardly takes a moment to breathe as she continues rambling, "Christian, Nick, Alisa, my fucking mother, who by the way hasn't even cared enough to check in on me since I left the hospital, it's always the same.  Disappointment, hurt, regret, the moment they realize I don't know them or have any recollection of what happened."

I almost interrupt her but hold my tongue, I know she needs to talk this out.

"How much have I forgotten? It's still not clear, friends, precious memories, secrets, everything disappeared. My old job is gone, albeit for a much better one, but I'm not even sure if I've earned it or I just got it because I was dating you." Her words become more frantic as she lifts her head and her glazed over ocean eyes meet mine. "Worst of all, you."

Her words sting, I'm the worst of all?

"You laid next to me sleeping in the hospital for how long while I slept? Yet when you realized I didn't remember you, the look you gave me was-" Her voice begins to rise into almost a piercing shriek as the first tears begin to fall and panic seems to take over.

"The hurt in your eyes, I'll never forget it. My heart was crushed, yet I had never even laid eyes on you. When you left the room I felt a pang in my chest and panic rip through me.  I was so worried you were never coming back."

"That's okay." I reach for her in an attempt to calm her, but she interrupts me. 

"No it's not Jack, it's insane.  Why would I hurt so badly for someone I didn't even know? Just imagine if I were to let you in and you decided I'm not the same person I was before and simply walked away.  That might just destroy me."

I would never walk away.

I would never walk away.

I would never walk away.

Say the god damn words, Jackson you bastard.

Silence lingers in the air as I think of the kiss that I just watched her share with Nick, with fucking Nick of all people.  I walked away, if she hadn't come after me would it have been for good? Would I have been able to give her up and never speak to her again?

No, not even then.

The words on the tip of my tongue that I'm desperate to say evade me.  I'm left with a dry throat and a panicked mind, so I say nothing.  Instead, I pull her into my arms and just hold her.

We sit for at least an hour like this, her arms wrapped around my waist and her face tucked into the nook of my neck as sobs wrack through her body.   My fingers comb through her soft brunette hair, attempting to soothe her pain.

Eventually, her tears dry up, her body stops shaking, and her chest slowly rises and falls with gentle breaths.  I pull back slightly, half expecting to find her sleeping but to my surprise, she lifts her head so her ocean eyes meet mine.

"Thank you." She whispers.

"For what?" I felt disappointed in myself.  Rather than telling her any of the words she so desperately needed to hear, I cowered.

"I realize I've been trying so hard to keep up with the old Maggie, that I've lost myself entirely.  Thank you for being here, despite the way I've acted." She watches me closely, a genuine apology glimmering in her eyes.

I give a curt nod before placing my lips to her forehead. I may be a genius with a pen but spoken words and emotions have always baffled me, so I respond with a simple truth.

"Always."