We must've fell asleep during the movie we stuck on, because when my eyes flutter open, I'm laying on my side with my head rested on Hayden's chest. His arm wraps around me and assures I'm kept close to his body. I blink and glance up at Hayden who's still sleeping peacefully. His mouth is open slightly and he's gently snoring.

I haven't liked receiving hugs since dating my ex. Liliana tried to set me up on a date after being with him, but the guy tried to hug me at the end of the night and my skin felt like it was crawling. He was a nice person, but I couldn't help the uncomfortable feeling that sunk into my stomach and made me want to scrunch into a ball in the corner of the room. I always thought something was wrong with me, I thought I'd never want a relationship again, I thought I'd never be able to trust anyone enough to form a deep connection, I thought I'd never be comfortable with being touched.

But in Hayden's arms, I feel safe. I feel warm and completely comfortable. This is what I've been missing. This is what I've been preventing myself from experiencing. I chose such a cold and miserable sort of love, when I could have been feeling this. Calm. With no thoughts. No hatred. No anger.

Peace. Finally. After such a tremendous storm.

I close my eyes and clutch onto his T-shirt, scared that I'll somehow lose him; I'll wake up and he'll be gone. It would have all been a dream, a painful dream to torture me of everything I could've had but missed out on.

I thought it was fate that we grew apart and went our separate ways, but it brought us back together when we least expected it; when we needed each other the most. It wasn't the right time back then, I still needed to grow and realise so much more about life, Hayden needed to find his own path to learn how to cope and grow without me there. Over a year later, here we are, ready to allow our hearts to open and bloom into something beautiful.

That's what I hope.

It's funny. Before Hayden came back into my life, I stopped hoping. I gave up completely. But he heard me, he knew that I needed him. He saved me before it was too late, but he doesn't even know it.

"Tell me something that happened," Hayden whispers.

I jump at the sound of his voice. I was so deep in thought that I hadn't realised I could no longer hear his light snores.

I raise my head from his chest but continue to keep my hand plastered on there. I don't want this to end. I don't want to part. "What?"

"Tell me something that happened when we weren't speaking. I've been telling you about my life recently. It's your turn."

I stare into the distance, scanning the books on his shelf as I try to dive into my memories of the past year. It was supposed to be a great year. I was finally starting college, it was going to be easier than school; less strict; more fun. It was complete opposite to that and nothing like I expected.

One person managed to ruin everything, including my own mind. My own soul. How is possible for one person to cause that much destruction?

"I..." I begin to say, but pause when my mind goes blank. Everything was contaminated by Peter because he controlled my life. "I went to the beach with Liliana."

"Yeah?"

I nod my head and focus on the only good memory I have. The smell of the sea, the clash of the waves, the soft sand between my toes, Liliana making me laugh for the first time in weeks, us sprinting into the sea, her hugging me in the water, the blue sky, the laughter.

Hayden listens silently as I ramble on about our trip to the beach. He chuckles with me, he smiles with me; he really listens.

I can feel the pad of his thumb rubbing against my arm softly.

"Sierra?" he asks when all goes quiet again.

"Mhmm."

"This is okay, right? You're not uncomfortable that we're...laying like this?"

I shake my head and smile tiredly, suddenly feeling so relaxed. "I'm not uncomfortable at all. I'd tell you if I was."

"Okay, good. I just thought I'd check."

"Thank you for checking. A lot of people wouldn't." I quickly lift my head again. "Are you okay with this?"

He smiles and nods his head. "Very much so."

Although part of me is screaming to pull away and keep so distance in order to not get hurt again, I snuggle back into his body and close my eyes. I'm fully aware that I'm making myself vulnerable by being this close with Hayden, but I'm choosing to trust him and myself.

I think it's worth the risk.

"Did you ever think you'd be hugging me in your bed?" I ask in a groggy voice, almost asleep.

His chest rumbles when he laughs. "Nope. But I always hoped I would. I still can't believe it's happening now."

"Are you nervous?"

Hayden pauses. "Yes."

"Are you happy?"

No pause this time.

"Yes."

"So am I," I admit in barely a whisper before my voice trails off and everything goes black.

* * *

I rush to my maths class like it's the only thing keeping me going. I have a white and grey gift bag that holds a card, a pack of jammy dodgers and a vintage-style photo that I know Hayden likes.

I'm the first student to arrive, which doesn't come as a surprise as I sprinted out of my previous lesson as soon as I had the chance. I wait impatiently at mine and Hayden's desk while tapping my pen against it, constantly glancing at the door every time a student enters.

I can't believe that after years of rejecting Hayden and refusing to see him as anything other than a friend, I'm acting like I'm head over heels for him. How the tables have turned.

Blonde locks on a familiar head finally enter the room along with another classmate. Hayden is tiny compared to him. He's 5'7 whereas this other guy must be 6'2.

I smile when Hayden grows closer and takes a seat beside me. I instantly reveal the bag that I've been aching to give him all day.

"Happy birthday," I say in an excited but quiet tone. I know that Hayden despises attention, so I don't plan to draw it to him. He especially hates attention on his birthday, so even me doing this is bad enough.

Hayden seems grateful nonetheless. I've never seen him so happy about receiving a birthday gift from me. In the previous years Liliana and I would gift him joint presence, he would refuse to open them in front of us and felt extremely embarrassed.

"Thank you," he mutters with a large smile before he scans over the room to make sure no one heard and then peers into bag.

He pulls out the card first. On the front is a cartoon drawing of a pretzel and a pickle who have faces. Their arms are wrapped around each other and they're smiling. Above them is a soppy joke. Hayden chuckles at the words and then reads my writing. He goes back and forth, reading it for what seems like minutes.

"I like your handwriting," he tells me, still fixated on it.

"You always used to say that."

"Because it's true. It's very pretty."

He sets down the card delicately, like he's afraid to break it. He pulls out the pack of jammy dodgers and grins knowingly.

"Our favourite," he says.

I nod, unable to stop smiling. My cheeks hurt.

"You can help me eat those later."

I shake my head and wave my hand. "They're for you to enjoy. You know I'll end up eating the entire pack if you give me the chance."

Lastly, Hayden pulls out the photo that is made out of tin. His lips part as he strokes over the material, carefully gazing at the colours and art style. I bite my lip and examine his expression, fearing that he won't like it.

"I love it," he whispers. "Thank you so much. I can't believe you got all of this for me."

"Eighteen is a big birthday. I couldn't let it go uncelebrated. You're my friend, it's the least I could do."

Hayden's gaze finally lands on me. He refuses to stop staring. It's so intense, but this time I don't pull away. This time, I stare right back and I don't let my worries win.

I trust you, Hayden.

"I don't know what else to say," he admits. "Just...thank you. I can't wait to hang this up in my room."

"I'm glad you like it."

Before any other words or longing gazes can be shared between us, our teacher enters the class and orders us all to be silent and get out our work books.

We share one last knowing smile before we open our books and look straight ahead to the board where our teacher has projected some math equations.

I'm not particularly fussed about getting my maths qualification, but I know that Hayden's hoping to get it, so I make sure I don't distract him from the work. Instead, I try my hardest and focus solely on what our teacher says. I might as well. It's better than sitting in silence with nothing to do.

When class ends, we both take our vehicles to the nearest car park of the pier. Hayden is hesitant, but he accepts my hand that's outstretched, waiting for him to grab it. My cheeks are wide with a soft smile as we walk down the wooden pier, hand in hand, our fingers intertwined. Our skin connected feels like electricity is being spilled between us.

With him by my side, I feel calm and safe. With him holding my hand, I feel indestructible. This grey world around me starts to seep with colour. Suddenly, not everyone looks so scary. I finally see the love in strangers I pass. For once, I'm not fixated on all their bad parts. I can see the good in them all.

I remember that people can be good.

Like Hayden. He's all the proof anyone would need to believe it.

"Can't believe you're making me do this," Hayden sighs as I drag him to one of the food stalls.

"It was your idea to begin with," I laugh.

"I thought I'd have a few months to process it. I didn't realise you'd want to do it within the space of a week."

I roll my eyes and smile widely before stepping forward to the counter. "Could I have a pot of pickles, please?"

The man standing behind the counter picks up a pot and starts to place some green pickles into it.

"And a pretzel please," Hayden adds.

"Yep, and that," I mumble.

When Hayden receives his pot and I receive my bag, we make our way over to one of the many benches that travel around the entire pier.

I spot a couple walking down the pier. The woman is in a massive white dress, wearing a silver tiara on the top of her head that holds her vail. A bouquet of white flowers are clutched in her hand, her new husband clutches on to her spare one. He's dressed in a fitted black suit with a grey tie. They look happier than ever.

"I don't understand it," I say.

"Don't understand what?"

"Marriage."

Hayden looks at the newlywed couple with a sparkle in his eyes. "You don't want to get married?"

I shake my head without even having to think about it. "Definitely not."

"How come?"

"Because I don't want to be like my parents. I don't want to be trapped or caught in a web of lies. I want to be my own person. Marriage doesn't prove anything."

He stares down at his pot of pickles, starting to look more green than they do. "I like the idea of marriage. There's something special about it. You're committing yourself to the person you love. It just feels meaningful and proper."

I shake my head, completely disagreeing.

"Maybe you'll change your mind one day...when you meet the right person," Hayden says.

I glance up and hold intense eye contact with Hayden. He's the one who looks away awkwardly this time. Time stands still, suddenly the pier crumbles away, only leaving the four wooden planks that hold our bench. Everyone is gone. We are all that's left.

"Have you always felt that way about marriage?" he asks softly.

I shake my head and pick at my pretzel. "When I was younger, I always said I wanted to get married. Mum would tell me to marry a rich man, but I'd always tell her that I couldn't be with someone who I didn't love. Money means nothing compared to being with someone who you feel truly safe and comfortable with."

"What made you change your mind?"

I shrug my shoulders. "A lot of things."

He smiles sympathetically. "That's a shame."

"I'm not upset about it. Why would it be a shame?"

He shakes his head and take a bite of his pickle. "No reason," he assures me before his face turns pale. "This is so salty," he says in a strained voice.

My head tilts back as I let out a laugh. "It's not that bad." I lean forward and take a bite of the pickle, humming contently as I chew on the delicious, salty food.

Hayden's face is still grimaced and full of disgust when he nods towards the golden pretzel in my hands. "Your turn."

I sigh as I look down at it, not particularly wanting to eat the food, but knowing that I made a deal with Hayden that I can't back down on now. Especially as he's just done his half. At least it's got peanut butter in it.

I take a bite and wait for the taste to kick in, only to find that I don't hate it. Not as much as I used to anyway. My eyebrows raise due to both surprise and delight. If I'm honest, it does taste quite nice.

"It's not bad. I'd have it again," I tell Hayden truthfully.

A bright smile lifts on his face, showing his pearly whites. "Told you."

"You did," I admit with a grin. "What about the pickle. Not bad, huh?"

He pauses and then scrunches his face. "It's terrible."

"What?"

"I'm sorry. I tried my hardest to like it, but it's so salty and wet."

"Oh well, at least you gave it a try."

"Are you proud?" he teases.

"Very much so."

As we head back to the car park, the wind is starting to pick up a little, so I make the difficult decision to link my arm with Hayden's. I hold my breath and look ahead, not able to watch his reaction. I can sense that he's looking at me, but his expression isn't visible. I'm hoping he's pleased by this unexpected act, but I can't bare to look and catch a disgusted expression. I don't have the strength to handle it.

Hayden holds my arm tighter and pulls me slightly closer to him. I let out a breath of relief and try to hide my smile.

"I hope you've had a good birthday," I tell him quietly.

"It's been the best one in a while."

"Really?"

He nods his head and hunches due to the cold. "I never celebrate it. Last year I was at work for it. Thank you for today, it's been great."

I smile. "Glad I could celebrate it with you."