See the good

*****

Elliot missed his ex, whoever she was. Missing her meant his mind kept wandering back to her, constantly thinking about her, them and everything in between. It's sad how someone you loved can turn into a complete stranger. How every moment you shared gets lost in the past. Every kiss, every laugh, every smile forgotten only to remember the fights, the lies, and the pain. You don't regret them but you don't want them back either, yet you would still give anything just to spend one more day with them the way it used to be. 

I didn't want to think about it, I really didn't, but that night the only question playing in my head was, was I a rebound? Don't be stupid, Jess. Don't ruin something good just because you think it might play out a certain way. Let his behaviour decide that. But I couldn't just go on as we did, could I? If Elliot was still hung up about his ex he wasn't ready to move on. 

I sighed slamming my locker shut, hitching my bag higher on my shoulder, before walking to the cafeteria. Everything had been awkward between Elliot and I this morning, mostly because of me, but he had taken a hint and decided to give me some space. 

"Aren't you going to get something to eat?" Alyssa asked as I took a seat opposite her. I shook my head slightly, "I'm not hungry". I looked at Sira who was very evidently avoiding me.

"Sira, it's fine." I laughed. Bless her soul, I could literally see the tension ease off her face.

"I'm sorry for throwing that on you, Jess. I didn't mean to" She said just as Jacob and Elliot joined us. 

"It's fine, Sira. It really isn't that big of a deal. Infact, I'm glad you brought her up. Tell me more about her" I ignored Elliot's gaze burning into the side of my head and instead fixed it on Sira. Sira looked like a deer caught in headlights as she looked between Elliot and I. When I raised my eyebrows in question, she cleared her throat looking down at her hands.

"She was amazing. There was this feeling of optimism and joy whenever she was around but that's gone now." I felt Elliot stiffen next to me, his fists clenching. "It's sad, but as the days pass, I begin to realise just how much we all had grown to care for her. Not as Elliot's girlfriend, but as someone in and of herself" Sira smiled to herself as she reminisced her. "I miss her", she finished off.

"If she was so good, why did she leave" I couldn't help but sound bitter. No one had a chance to reply before Elliot stood up, his fists crashing against the table. Our table - and every table surrounding us - fell into a hush.

"No one is to bring this up again" he hissed looking at Alyssa, Jacob and Sira. The trio nodded sullenly not meeting his eyes. He glanced at me once before he turned around and left. I should have paid more attention to the warning bells my brain were sending me from the start, but my heart was a stubborn and it was set on one person. 

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked." I mumbled looking at Sira apologetically. Alyssa squeezed my hand slightly, "It's a touchy subject for him, that's all. Not your fault." Despite Alyssa's reassurance I felt guilty. Because of my own insecurities, I brought up something that clearly hurt Elliot. 

We spent the rest of lunch in silence, and the rest of my classes passed the same way too. When the final bell rang I honestly didn't expect Elliot to wait for me but he did. He stood but his car, as he always always had done, opening the passenger seat door letting me sit in. 

"Where are we going?" the car ride was silent for most of the drive but I had realised earlier on when the roads were unfamiliar, that we weren't driving home. 

"Don't worry, I'll keep you safe" Elliot smiled looking at me. If he's smiling, he can't be that angry, right? This was a good start. We sat in further silence as Elliot pulled up near a wooded area.

"You're sticking to your words aren't you? Because this is starting to looking very sketchy" I commented as I stepped out of the car. Elliot shut the car door behind me bellowing out a laugh. 

"Don't worry, I'll protect you from all the monsters" he teased resting his hand on the small of my back, leading us deeper in the woods. We walked a little over 5 minutes before we pulled into a small clearing.

"Nearly there" Elliot said pointing over to something. I stepped out from behind him stunned by the view standing in front of me. There stood a large gazebo, vines wrapped around its stands in the middle of the clearing.

"Elliot, this is beautiful" I walked closer to the gazebo stepping inside.

"It is, isn't it" Elliot said from further behind, following me in. You know that feeling you get when a sense of calm rushes over you? Smelling the fresh air around us, sitting in the most beautiful gazebo I couldn't help but let the peace take over after a very stressful day. I let my bag fall to the floor as I leant against the barriers before taking a seat against it. Elliot took a seat next to me and we enjoyed the silence.

"I'm sorry about earlier" I finally spoke up. "It wasn't my place to talk about her." Elliot took my hand into his own, placing our intertwined hands onto his lap.

"It's not your fault, Jess. I'm sorry I blew up." Elliot sighed looking far into the woods. "She's just not someone I want to talk about" he explained looking at me with a smile. "I'm past that, I've got someone better in mind now." I smiled at his words but didn't reply.

"Where did you find this place anyway?" I unconsciously rested my head on Elliot's shoulder but he didn't seem to mind, as he laid his head against mine.

"I found it a couple years ago. I was exploring and came across it, I've claimed it ever since." We sat at the gazebo for I don't know how long exchanging childhood stories and memories. Elliot finally stood up, brushing any dust off his jeans, pulling me up along with me. 

"We should head home, it's starting to get dark" Elliot took my hand again leading me back to the car. There was a small difference in the drive home this time though, because this time not once did Elliot let go of my hand. 

"Oh my God, Elle." I yelled when I realised we should have picked her up from her school many hours ago. Elliot laughed at my outburst but didn't say anything.

"It's not funny, Elliot" I smacked his shoulder. "How could we forget about her?".

"Actually, I didn't forget about her, you did" he continued to laugh. He finally began to explain when he saw the panic on my face. 

"She's staying over at her friend's tonight, don't worry" 

Elliot pulled up in the driveway, letting us inside the house, but didn't let me leave. 'Stay' is he all he said, and I did. It's funny thinking that I fell for Elliot, but the truth was, I left my self fall. I walked with my eyes wide open, choosing to take every step along the way. I do believe in fate and destiny, but I also believe we're only fated to the things we'd choose anyway and I chose him. Somewhere deep inside I knew; in a hundred worlds, in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds and in any version of reality, I'd find Elliot and I'd choose him all over again.

Elliot looked over at me, flashing me that sweet smile he always did, melting my heart once again. "What are you thinking about?"

"You" I replied honestly. "What are you doing to me Elliot" I whispered. Elliot shuffled closer, his hands cupping my cheeks.

"Exactly what you're doing to me, baby" he whispered back placing his own lips onto mine, in a sweet, slow, kiss.

"I don't know what I'm doing" I replied pulling back. 

"Neither do I, but we don't have to. Things are going great they way they are" he grinned pulling me into him, wrapping his arms around me. 

I am learning to say yes. I'm learning to be daring and spontaneous, to hurl myself into people and places and moments without hesitation or second -guessing myself. To challenge my anxieties, to confront my fears, and trust unwaveringly in chance and fate to lead me to where I am supposed to be. Fate is something that is meant for you, something beyond your control and no one on Earth can ever take it away. What is truly meant for you will always find its way home and stay.