Why self-restraint hurts me so much more these days?
It hurt me before too... though, I was damn good at holding back my reactions.
I used to pat my back each time when I laughed away all the pain.
I thought, I was safe inside the darkness of the closet.
But, it's walls are shrinking and the air is almost gone.
It is just like a gas chamber right now,
And I feel like a jew.
It feels funny how I still consider 'fading away' as an option but not 'coming out'.

Amid the ragbag, I see you every night... as slumber rescues me.
Can I request you to stay a bit longer then?
Be sure, I won't trouble you in the next morning.
You know that I forget dreams anyway.