-SIN'S POV-

Lizzie crosses her arms, pouting. "Don't you think it's all a bit strange, Sin? I remember her now, she was that girl who pissed you off. And I presume she was the one at the christening you refused to tell me about?"

"It's fine, Lizzie." I groan, a bit fed up of this topic.

I don't want to be reminded of my past with Catalina. It runs through my mind on repeat all day every day, all the things she did to hurt me flashing through my mind.

It still doesn't feel real that she's in England. She was in England, next to me, near me and speaking to me.

She has cut her hair shorter. It looks nice, I prefer it.

"Are you even listening to me?" Lizzie asks, her brows furrowed, the line on her forehead visibly deeper.

I entwine my fingers with hers, kissing her on the head.

"I don't mean to upset you, Liz. I was in my own little world, what were you saying?"

"Your not actually going to plan their wedding, right? Spending time with a bitchy ex is never going to go well and we have a lot of work to do, Sin. The Arena is opening and we are going to be busy, busy and more busy. You don't have time-"

"So we recruit more staff. I'm a manager, but I need a life too. We discussed that we'd both have time off anyway and I currently work more than you, despite the fact I'm younger." I respond, raising a judgemental eyebrow at her.

She crosses her arms moodily. "Excuse me? The fact your younger means nothing. I work my ass off-"

"No you don't. Ask any of our staff. Your my best friend, Lizzie, and I would hate to upset you, but this is speaking from a strictly professional point of view. I put my all into the business and you put a minute a day into it."

"And why have you chosen today to comment on this? She's been back a few hours and your already self-destructing. Sort yourself out, Sin. You've fought off an addiction, co-owned a pub, heck, we've built an empire. Don't let her return ruin you, babe, please don't." She pleads, placing a hand on my shoulder.

I shake my head. "This isn't about Catalina. None of this is about-," I shake my head once more, "I thought you of all people would understand that my previous feelings for one girl would never affect me. I'm trying to be professional now, and your making it emotional."

"I think you need a breather. We don't want you going over the edge, Sin, calm down."

"Over the edge? Is this what this is about? You think I'm going to start drinking again?" I bellow, slapping my hand down on the wooden shelf beside me.

Lizzie stands up, huffing. "Can you blame me? You get sad, get angry then you drink and wallow in self pity and I have to pick up the pieces. Her pieces. Please babe, I just care about you."

My eyes soften, my voice lowering into a more calming and gentle tone.

"Sorry. I care about you. I just. I don't know. Can we not talk about this right now? I'm not really feeling this topic. Just come sit down and we'll do your Netflix and Chill plan. Okay?"

She grins, she's sitting beside me. "Okay."

"Okay." I repeat, pressing play on the TV show.

Whilst we watch whatever shit she's put on, I can't help the annoyance I feel at her childish attitude. She's twenty seven and her maturity is something I have always admired (and found very attractive when I was younger) however recently I feel like she is the the epitome of the phrase 'age is just a number' and 'age doesn't mean maturity'.

For example, Catalina and I would argue a shit ton when we were younger however we would still give each other respect and we would never pass boundaries in our arguments, especially when it came to my addiction.

I sigh as Lizzie snuggles deeper into my chest. Who would be so sick to presume an ex-addict is going to go off the edge? 'Once an addict, always an addict.'

I'm overthinking this.

But it hurts. The person who has seen you feel every emotion because of this addiction being the one to throw it in your face.

"I'm sorry. I need to go. Need to babysit Marie. I forgot. Sorry."

"S-Sin? Is everything okay, babe?"

"Yeah. Peachy. I just got to go, sorry. See you Lizzie." I kiss her on the head, not wanting her to think anything is up with me.

When I leave, I don't head home like I thought I would do. No, when I get in the taxi the address I give them isn't my own.

"The cliff-sides, please."

Luckily for me, Lizzie lives extremely close to the Cliff Sides. The Cliff Sides used to mean something to me, it was a place meaningful to mine and Catalina's relationship, but now it means everything.

It's the place I go where I'm happy, when I'm sad, when I'm stressed. It's a place for me to be alone with myself, my thoughts and to be in control of my mind and emotions.

The Cliff Sides is more than just a cliff by a beach to me; it's my escape, it's my place.

"Thank you. Here's your money." I hand the driver a twenty, giving him a hefty tip.

As I climb out the car, I see a female sitting by the tree on the very edge. It's dark, so I can only roughly see her features, but you can tell it's a lady.

When I get nearer, the truth shocks me: it's Catalina.

Her short but wild red curls bounce onto her shoulders, her devilish green eyes glinting in the dark. She's wearing baggy black trousers, a black beanie and a red and black long sleeved top.

Guess her favourite colour hasn't changed.

One of her hands clutches her precious golden necklace, the other holds a large oval container, the kind you would put ashes in.

"Catalina? Are you alright?" I ask meaningfully.

Whilst I was extremely hurt for the Christening thing, I'm trying my hardest to not be a dickhead and she's clearly in a state.

"Sin? Are you stalking me?"

I roll my eyes, walking closer towards her. "Yes, Catalina, I've been watching your every move since your shock arrival today."

"Hey, your sarcastic now!" She half-smiles proudly, dropping her hands from her madre's necklace.

I sit beside her, nodding.

"I'm fine," she says with a forced smile, "fine. Great. I'm just sitting here with my Abuelo, I told him I'd show him a nice English beach, to prove he was missing out. I used to tell him about the Cliff Sides and y- Just the Cliff Sides."

Is she okay? There's nobody near by.

Noticing my bewildered look, she laughs half-heartedly. "He's in here, dickhead."

As she shakes the container gently, I feel my heart break for her. Not only has she lost her mum, but she's lost her grandad too.

"Shit, Lina, are you okay?"

"You called me Lina." She responds with a smile that one might even say is real.

"Accident."

She nods. "Sure, sure. And yeah. I'm fine."

Her bottom lip must have suffered a lot these years as I notice her chewing on it once more. It's as though she feels any emotion and her instinct is just instantly to gnaw on her lip, like a dog with a bone.

"Hey. I know it's been a while, but you don't need to lie to me. I'm trustworthy. And probably nicer." I say, placing a comforting hand just above her knee.

She exhales a cold, sharp breath, blinking rapidly.

"I was so close with my Abuelo. He was like a male version of my madre and I, mixed. Abuela always used to judge me, look down on me and just demean and belittle me all the time. He was different. He believed in me."

Catalina takes another deep breath, looking over the edge of the cliff at the waves, who seem to be slowing their pace, as if a storm had finished passing by.

"Go on, Lina."

She shakes her head, looking down. "It's stupid. You don't need to act like you care, Sin. I don't need a pity party."

"This isn't a pity party and I'm not acting. Go on, Lina." I encourage, knowing I'll regret my kindness in a few days when she throws it back in my face.

"Fine. I just, um. I didn't expect him to die, you know? He was full of life. The stroke came from nowhere. I was at University when he called me, saying he didn't feel normal. I thought it was a joke and then, then I came home three hours later..." she pauses, taking another breath, "and I found him. On the floor. I got him to a hospital as soon as. But it was... it was too late..."

"Shhh. It's okay, Lina." I whisper, my heart breaking once more for her.

She shakes her head. "No. If I had came after that phone call, he would still be alive. It's my fault he's dead. My abuela tells me everyday. She's gone a bit, um, crazy. Very crazy, actually. She has a carer and everything. His names James, he's a bit of a pervert."

Lina looks at me, then looks down at the ashes.

"Sorry. I'm unsure as to why I'm opening up. You know I don't normally do this. Hormones. It's probably hormones. Or just being back here, it's bringing back a lot of....."

"Feelings?" I offer, thinking I understand where her head's at.

Lina giggles, placing her hand on top of the one I rested on her leg, caressing with her thumb gently. "No, Sin. I was going to say memories, emotions."

I gulp, looking down at our hands. "Emotions, feelings. Aren't they just the same thing?"

"You could say that." She grins, grabbing the container and standing up.

I watch her as she tiptoes along the edge, every step careful yet careless. She clutches the container with a tight yet warm hold, clinging it close to her round chest as her eyes squint in forethought.

"Here. He's going to fly here." She says out loud, looking at me as though she's speaking to me, but making it clear I'm not obliged to answer.

Delicately, she opens the lid, making sure none of the ashes spill out. She takes another deep breath, still clutching the container close as she whispers,

"Adios, Abuelo. Te amo, por siempre y para siempre."

Noticing the shaking of her hand, I tiptoe along to where she is.

"You've got this, Lina." I whisper to her, deciding I can be a dick tomorrow when we have to start wedding planning.

She smiles gratefully at me, before kissing the container and turning it upright. The ashes fly with the strong but gentle wind, drifting the remains of her dear grandad into the great, wide and beautiful ocean.

Lina crashes to the floor, the container rolling off the cliff as she does so. She sobs, louder and longer than I've ever seen her before.

When I used to look at her, I saw a broken but strong and determined woman, who knew her place and made sure others knew theirs.

Now, I see the shell of the confidence she was once so accustomed to.

"I'll protect you."

"I don't need a protector. I'll protect myself." She replies determinedly, glaring at me.

I laugh, enveloping her in my embrace. "Everybody needs a protector, little red."

"Then I'll be yours. Just don't go fighting any wolves or lions okay? I mean, I'm sure I'll win, but just in case."

"Fine. You've got yourself a deal, Miss Aldonondo."

"Hey, hey, breathe, okay, your going to be okay?" I clamour behind her, wrapping my arms around her in the tight hug that she clearly needs.

She sobs and snorts a bit more, hanging her head down in shame during the whole breakdown, as though she's ashamed to have natural human feelings.

"I think I got snot on your top." She laughs through the tears, staring at my shoulder.

I shrug. "A little snot never killed anyone, eh? Are you okay now?"

"I'm fine. Can we pretend that never happened?"

"Pretend what never happened?" I say with a grin, before helping her up as we head towards the roadway.

We don't speak as we walk to the taxi pickup point. Both of us steal glances every few seconds, most likely thinking about how unlikely this situation is. When she first arrived, I felt fury, rage, anger. I only saw red as I reminisced over all the pain and emotion she caused me.

Now, only a few hours later, it kinda feels normal. Three years later, yet it still feels normal.

"I think we're going to ace this friend thing. You seem to be trying hard, so it's my turn. My taxi is due in ten minutes. Would you like to come with me? I'm staying at a little hotel, I don't know how close that is to yours, so you might have a bit of a journey, but it's on the high street." Lina explains, trying her hardest to be nice.

My eyebrows furrow. "Your not sleeping at Rhiannon and Brandon's? Why not?"

"Don't want to get in their personal space. It's not just like sleeping over at my best friends, they are a whole family now, it's different. And anyway, the people at the hotel speak Spanish, so it's like being back at home."

"How is Spain? Apart from the obvious." I add, not wanting her to have to go through her trauma one more time.

A smile plasters on her face almost instantly, strangely too soon to feel genuinely.

"It's great! Great. Apart from the obvious, obviously. It feels weird speaking English, I don't do it much but I've still got it, apparently. I love Spain. So much. I had to quit Uni, which sucked. And I don't really write anymore now, I don't have the time."

"Your writing is worth making time for." I tell her honestly. I remember her songs, she rarely let me read them but I did manage to sneak a few peeks and it was always so moving.

"Thank you, Sin. I used to think so too."

"What were you studying?"

She grins. "Social work and criminology. I want to be a social worker, like Missy. How is she and that whole situation by the way?"

"Mum's good. We're good." I say, nodding happily.

My mother and I may have a rocky relationship, but we are ever so close at the moment (despite her hatred for Lizzie) and she's one of my biggest supporters. I'm a mummy's boy, apparently.

"Finally, the taxi's here." She says awkwardly, pointing out the blatant obvious.

Catalina grins at the driver, the fakest smile anyone could ever wear and the biggest smile I've ever seen on her face, stretching from ear to ear. "Hola!" She speaks in her home language, continuing to talk, as though she wants to baffle him.

I open the taxi door for her, gesturing for her to go in, not wanting to speak and ruin her fun charade. She winks at me, before crawling over into the backseat. I climb in beside her, placing my things on the middle seat, as though I was building a wall between us, a barrier.

"Where to, ma'am?" The driver asks, looking panicked that he wouldn't understand her.

She answers in English and I notice how much thicker her accent is now, how she seemed to talk Spanish with ease and English with slight difficulty.

The drive is silent and painful, until we arrive at her hotel, which is luckily ten minutes away from mine.

"So. Do you want my new number? It's my English number, I have a sim card for both countries. I was thinking we could start tomorrow? If that's okay with you, of course."

Tomorrow. What's tomorrow?

Tuesday?

No.

Wednesday?

No.

Friday. It's Friday tomorrow.

"That's perfect, actually. I can't do-"

Before I finish my sentence, rain begins to pelt down on the two of us. The wind slaps us harshly, mocking us as we pray it isn't pathetic fallacy.

"I can't do Saturdays," I yell over the sudden roar of thunder before gesturing to the sky, "I'm going to go."

"Do you wanna come inside? You can't walk home in that, you can borrow an umbrella when it calms down a bit." She offers, and I know how much of a struggle it must be for her to be acting normal with me due to the fact I feel the same, which is why I answer as I do.

"Okay."

She attempts a smile, before grabbing my arm and dragging me inside. As soon as we get in the lift, she drops my arm instantly, like she regrets pulling me in in the first place.

"It's warmer in here," I comment to try and ease the newfound tension, "it's nice. What floor are you on?"

"Fifteen." She responds bluntly, until she sees my panicked face.

Her eyes seem to soften slightly, although it could be my imagine. "Are you still afraid of heights? I'll go in first and close the curtains- the windows are huge. You won't even notice the height then, okay?"

"When did you become nice?" I respond, teasing her slightly.

Her hand slaps my left arm gently. "Shut up, you, else I'll become a bitch again. And nobody wants that."

"Okay, okay." I put my arms in a surrender motion, taking a playful step away from her.

When we get to her room, she does just as she says, closing the curtains.

"It's safe now!"

"Okay. Where should I sit?" I say uneasily, feeling uncomfortable about how intimate this setting is.

I'm being nice to her, communicating with her because I can't help it. Of course I'm not still in love with her, not after the shit she's put me through, but I guess she'll always have a soft spot in my heart. Part of me is desperate to put my guard up, before I let her in too much and she hurts me all over again.

"Anywhere. Sin, can we talk?"

"Like a serious talk?" I say, placing myself on the only chair in the room.

Catalina nods, sitting on the edge of the bed. "I'm not mature like you. Maybe it's because your twenty two, I doubt it. I'm still the bitchy and annoying person I was three years ago. Just a tad nicer."

"I don't think your bitchy or annoying. Sarcastic and confusing, yes." I chuckle, leaning my chin into my hand.

She rolls her eyes. "Shut up. Anyway, serious talk. I think your right. About everything. We need to talk about the past, so that the future isn't always shit. I'm going to go first and I don't want to be interrupted, okay? I seem to be in a honest and soppy mood, but once I've opened my mouth I know I'll regret it."

I nod, encouraging her to continue, deciding I like the more open and communicative Catalina.

"I'm so sorry. Not that I left, I don't belong here, but how I left. It was selfish, rude and most likely made you feel like shit. I get why you ignored my voicemail."

"Voicemail? What voicemail?" I ask, confused.

Her facial expression turns almost instantly; looking bewildered, then almost stone-cold.

"Voicemail? I didn't mean to say that. Note. Note. Yeah, um, a note. Anyways. I'm... I'm sorry. I've said that twice now, so you better know I mean it as I still despise saying it. I am sorry for the way I treated you."

"Water under the bridge. I've moved on, you've moved on. It doesn't matter anymore."

Yes it does.

"So you accept my apology? You don't care?"

No.

"Yeah. Yeah I don't care. It's not like I still love you, or you ever loved me, so it just makes sense for us to put it behind us. Past is in the past."

She bites her bottom lip, nodding slowly in unsure agreement. "Yeah. Ok. Cool."

"Yeah. Um. I should probably get going. Do you have that umbrella I can borrow?" I say, standing up as my dearest friend tension decides to creep over us again.

Catalina jumps up, nodding. "Um, yeah. Yeah I have it here. Here you go."

"I'll return it tomorrow. Thanks for the brolly."

"No problem."

"Bye, Catalina." I say as cheerfully as I can as I exit. She waves me off, until the lift doors close and I'm no longer in her eyesight.

Catalina: hey,, where do you want to meet tomorrow to start planning
Sin: Hey. You can come to my apartment? I'll send you my address. You can meet Daisy.
Catalina: daisy? is she another one of your girlfriends?
Sin: You could say that ;)
Catalina: she's a dog, isn't she?

I chuckle to myself. Daisy is a beautiful golden retriever, mine and Lizzie's first thing we co-owned, until Lizzie found out she was allergic to the beautiful creature. Since then, my baby's lived with me and been my dog. She's the sweetest thing, always coming up to me to for more cuddles.

Sin: You'll have to find out.
Catalina: how thrilling.

I grin, putting my phone away as I step into the icy outdoors. It's only November, but it's freezing, the coldest I've ever experienced, well, at least for a while.

Opening the umbrella to prevent the rain from hammering down on me, I begin to head home to my cosy apartment.

A lot has happened in a day, far too much for my brain to process, so instead I'll do what any responsible adult would do.

I'll get home, have way too much caffeine whilst ignoring all the shit I need to do and watch TV with my beautiful Daisy.

What a life.

~~~~~~

Soooo its chapter three and I'm happy! I have missed writing my babies so much.

Hope your enjoying them being back as much as I am so far!

I'm really knackered. I went to a class at my gym, a diva dancing class  and after having covid recently my chest was on FIRE.

Thank you for reading,

Anonymous A <3