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The Last Time

The courtroom was filled with a numerous amount of people, all of whom were in attendance the previous day. There was one person missing, though, one person who was more important to the entire trial than she believed herself to be.

Wanda searched around for her cousin from her spot beside Bucky, her green eyes still holding quite a majority of the emotions she had been subject to the day before. Her eyes were slightly swollen, as well as a bit red, and her skin was also flushed. She had put aside her emotions, however, in order to be there for Bucky. Watching the video the day before had caused Wanda a great deal of pain, but she knew Bucky hadn't been at fault for what had taken place in the video. He was merely a puppet in Hydra's game, and that's what she was there to prove. She just wished Marlena was there to help her prove it as well.

"Don't waste your time—she's not coming," Bucky said to Wanda, the tone of his voice pained.

Wanda looked at him, a frown pulling at the corner of her lips as she watched several tears fall out of his blue eyes and down his face.

Bucky had been in a horribly pained state since Ross uttered the words Raven Elite the day before, and watching Marlena and Wanda only made him feel worse. He hadn't known until yesterday that he had been responsible for the death of Marlena's father, and the revelation of it had never made him feel so terribly regretful about his victims. It was because of him that Marlena and Mason were without a father; it was because of him that Wanda was without an uncle; it was because of him that three of the people he cared about most in his life were living in such a horrendous state of irreversible pain.

"She'll be here, Buck," Wanda tried to assure him.

Bucky met her eyes. "What makes you so sure? If I was her I wouldn't show up either—if I was her I'd never wanna see me again. Maybe it's better for everyone if they do lock me up."

"Why would you say that?" Wanda forced out as she tried to hold back her own tears.

"Because it's true." Bucky sniffed and wiped the tears from his face, "You'd all be so much better off without me around, especially Marlena; I've made her life a living hell since the day I met her and I only continue to make it worse the longer I stick around."

Wanda couldn't hold back her tears as she listened to him speak. His words sent a dull ache into her chest and without even thinking she reached out to grab his hand in her own, squeezing tightly as if to give him the slightest bit of reassurance. "You don't realize how many people really do love you, Bucky, and Marlena is one among the many."

"I think yesterday might have changed that for her, but I don't really blame her," Bucky spoke quietly. "I'd hate me, too, if I was her."

Wanda could feel the overwhelming amount of pain radiating off of Bucky and she released his hand before turning her attention towards the front of the room, using the sleeve of her shirt to wipe her tear-stained face. Not much else was allowed to be said after that, as the trial's second and last day had began.

Bucky didn't pay much attention to anything being done or said in his defense. His mind was elsewhere, more specifically, his mind and thoughts were locked on a certain member of the Claire family—Marlena. He couldn't help but feel an immense amount of pain and regret as he thought about her and what he had taken away from her all those years ago. He seemed to feel this particular loss much deeper than he felt the loss of his other victims, but that was solely because the loss effected someone he cared so deeply about.

Seeing Marlena yesterday and the way she had reacted had broke his heart. He had never seen such pain in her eyes, not even when she lost her mother, and to know that her pain was because of him tore him apart. Never would Bucky regret falling in love with Marlena, but he did regret allowing her to fall in love with him. There was only pain and guilt associated with loving someone like Bucky, and he believed he had witnessed such a thing during his relationship with Marlena—the relationship that had kept him from completely falling apart at the seams.

It was different now, though. Not even Bucky's relationship with Marlena seemed to provide him with the slightest bit of happiness at the moment, especially knowing that his relationship with her had been threatened by the very entity he had spent the last two years fighting against. The video Ross had shown everyone the day before had not only broken Marlena, but it had broken Bucky as well and there seemed to be nothing he could do or find to make him feel better. The thought of finally being free didn't even enthrall him. If anything, being free only made him feel worse.

Bucky had lost what little hope he had in himself. In his eyes, he wasn't worth saving, nor was he worth freeing. He felt that he deserved to be locked up and kept away from the world; he felt that he deserved to be alone. Bucky felt that the people around him—the people he loved the most—didn't deserve to live with such a heavy burden on their shoulders as he believed himself to be; he felt that they didn't deserve to spend their days worrying about whether or not he would relapse again and what they would do if he did.

The emotional and physical damage Bucky had brought into so many people's lives over the years would never leave him. All he could see now when he looked at himself was a monster—someone who had changed and ended countless lives. He couldn't see the good in himself the way everyone else seemed to, no matter what he did to prove to himself that there was good there. All he could see was the fear in the eyes of the people who saw him—the fear that served as constant reminder that he was nothing to anyone but an existential abomination. All Bucky could see was the world around him and the image of just how beautiful it would be if he was no longer around.

Bucky wasn't sure how much time had passed before the seat beside him shifted. He looked over to see Wanda, who seemed to be in more of an emotional state than she had been when he had first seen her that day. She was now sobbing and he wasn't sure why. All he was sure of was that it worried him to see her in such a state.

"What's wrong, Wan?" he whispered to her.

Wanda looked over at him, though she couldn't give a verbal answer as her emotions were preventing her from doing so, so she elected to give a telepathic response instead: "I sat up there on that stand defending you for fifteen minutes and all I could focus on was everything going on inside your head. You are so wrong, Bucky Barnes. . .so wrong. This world would not be beautiful without you; this world would be cold and dark and somber without you. The fact that you are thinking so lowly of yourself breaks my heart, and if Marlena was here it'd be much worse."

Bucky lowered his head as the words entered his mind and he frowned, allowing a few tears to slip out. "I'm sorry."

Wanda simply shook her head and got up from her seat, venturing over towards the exit door behind the jurors' stand. She was ready to break down and she didn't want to be in a room full of people if she were to do so. Bucky could only watch with sad eyes as she disappeared, the agonizing feeling of loneliness beginning to make its appearance inside him, despite Steve's, Sam's, and Tony's presence.

"I see that Miss Claire has failed to make an appearance," Ross spoke smugly.

Bucky looked down at his hands in his lap in an attempt to hide his developing tears. He figured he had seen the last of Marlena, as he knew he was about to get dragged away in a pair of special handcuffs, and though it relieved him that he wouldn't be around to screw up her life anymore than he already had, it also broke his heart. He would've preferred leaving with the memory of her smile—the one he had fallen in love with two years ago—rather than leaving with the memory of her pained hazel eyes as she watched him take her father away from her.

Bucky figured wrong, though.

"I'm here," came Marlena's strained voice from behind Bucky.

He turned around to see her, his eyes brightening automatically at the sight of her, despite just how horrible she looked. Her face was paler than normal, her hazel eyes were broken and absent of their normal light, and she looked as if she hadn't slept at all. She wasn't dressed for court either; she wore one of Bucky's many grey sweatshirts, a pair of black compression leggings, and her black Nike tennis shoes.

Multiple jurors—all of whom were still trying to recover from what they had just went through during Wanda's time on the stand—watched Marlena with curious and sympathetic eyes, while some shared looks of distaste. The petite girl was nowhere close to being worried about them, though. Marlena worried for Bucky and Bucky only, and she was more than relieved that she hadn't been too late. She never would have been able to forgive herself if she allowed them to take him away for a series of instances that had been far beyond his control.

"Thank you for joining us," Ross muttered in disconcert as he took his seat at the table Marlena had last been seen at in the courtroom. He was sure he wouldn't see her again and the thought of it made him incredibly happy. Ross knew Marlena was the key to Bucky's freedom and eliminating her from the trial had been his main mission from the get-go. He didn't want to see Bucky free and he thought he had been given what he wanted yesterday as he watched Marlena disappear from the courtroom, but now she was back, and he doubted she was back for the wrong reasons.

"Take the stand whenever you're ready, Miss Claire," the judge very politely said to Marlena.

Marlena, who had paused in the middle of the aisle, gave the judge a nod before continuing forward. She stopped when she approached Bucky, however, and she looked down at him while he looked up at her, his blue eyes filled with tears and multiple emotions Marlena couldn't bear to attempt to comprehend. The corner of her lips pulled up slightly and she leaned down, placing her hand on the back of his head as she pressed a kiss to the top of his head.

She pulled away from him after several seconds and continued towards the stand, shoving her hands into her sweatshirt pockets.

"Hi, Marlena," Bucky's lawyer, Russell, greeted her with a small smile after he saw that she was comfortable in her seat.

"Hi," she spoke quietly.

"First I would like to say thank you for being here today," Russell said nicely. "I was really afraid you wouldn't show up."

Marlena shrugged her shoulders and frowned, pulling her right leg into the seat with her. "Why wouldn't I be here?"

"The video, Miss Claire."

"You mean the video Ross used to try and eliminate me from the trial because he didn't want to see Bucky free?" Marlena spoke, slight anger in her tone as she averted her attention to a seemingly startled Ross. "Just because I'm in a shitty emotional state doesn't mean I'm not paying attention to what's going on inside your head, Mr. Secretary."

"Why don't you explain to us all why you're in that emotional state in the first place, Miss Claire?" Ross spoke up, disregarding the judge's warning to remain quiet.

Ross was baiting Marlena, that much she knew, and that angered her. She hated Ross more than she cared to admit, especially now that she was aware of his true intentions. There was something about him she hadn't liked since the first time she saw him in the Avengers compound, and now she knew exactly what it was. She wanted to see him suffer the way she was currently—the way she had been for the last several months—and as she thought of doing just that, the familiar blue coloration associated with her abilities flashed in her hazel irises.

"Miss Claire," Russell's voice sounded, tearing Marlena out of her thoughts. "Are you okay?"

She looked at him with pained eyes, the blue hue making an appearance once again as she thought of just how okay she wasn't. She wouldn't disclose that information to Russell or anyone else in the room, though, despite the fact that the tears welling up in her eyes revealed the truth. "I'm fine."

"Then why don't we begin?"

Marlena simply nodded and sat back in her seat, raising her hand to wipe away a stray tear that had fallen.

"You've known Sergeant Barnes for quite a while, haven't you?" Russell questioned her.

"Yeah."

"How did you two meet?"

Marlena almost wanted to burst into tears as she thought about how different her life was when she first met Bucky compared to how it was now. "We met at the Smithsonian," she answered with a strained voice; the tears were beginning to flow down her face, but she simply disregarded them and continued speaking. "I was there with my friend Hallie like I normally would be every other Saturday when I met him."

Russell nodded in understanding. "And this wasn't long after the incident with the S.H.I.E.L.D. helicarriers, am I right?"

"Yes."

"And he wasn't aggressive with you?"

Marlena shook her head. "No, he wasn't aggressive at all; he was just lost and trying to find his way back to himself."

"And you're the one who helped him find himself, right?"

"That's a question for him to answer."

Russell turned to look at Bucky, and Bucky simply nodded before allowing Russell to turn his attention back to Marlena. "He says you are."

"Then I guess I am," Marlena muttered.

"Did Bucky ever harm you, Marlena?" Russell then questioned her.

Marlena sucked in a breath and Bucky frowned as he remembered the first time he had ever harmed Marlena. "He had a nightmare one night and I made the mistake of waking him up. That's all I'm going to say about it."

Several of the jurors gasped, eliciting an expression of agitation to flash across Marlena's face.

"Let me be clear about something, though," Marlena spoke more-so to the jurors than to Russell. "He would never ever hurt me or anyone else for that matter, at least not on purpose. He's only ever harmed someone under the influence of Hydra and he has to live with that guilt and regret every single day of his life. I know this because I can feel it, too—I can feel everything he feels."

"Don't you have something to share with the jurors, Marlena?" Russell asked her, eliciting a sigh from Bucky. He was still very against Marlena's and Wanda's plans for the jury, but he couldn't object to it anymore, no matter how much he wanted to. It wouldn't do him any good at all.

Marlena swallowed the lump in her throat and nodded, turning her body in her chair to face the jurors. "I just wanna start off by saying that Bucky was completely against this; he didn't want any of you to feel the pain he was forced to feel for so many years, and I'm starting to feel the same way, but I need you to understand that he is not a threat to the world—he is a victim and he doesn't deserve to rot in a cell for it."

No one in the room was given the chance to think or respond before Marlena threw her glowing left hand toward the crowd of jurors, her mind conjuring up the multiple illusions she had dug for only a couple of weeks ago and transmitting it to those in the juror stand. She turned away from them as she began to feel their shared pain overwhelming her. Bucky laid his head down on the table in front of him, not wanting to witness what was happening only a few feet away from him. He only wished he was lost in thought as he had been during Wanda's time on the stand, but it was almost impossible with Marlena present.

Marlena pulled her hand away when she felt as if they had experienced enough and she gazed at those recovering with apologetic eyes. "Tell me you understand, please. . ."

All it took was a single nod from a juror trying to catch her breath to send a wave of relief into Marlena's body.

"Thank you, Miss Claire," the judge spoke to her.

Marlena simply nodded and removed herself from her chair, quickly making her way off the stand. She made a move to get passed Bucky, but he reached out and grabbed her wrist before she could get too far. Marlena looked down at him with glistening hazel eyes, and a small smile pulled onto his face as he looked up at her.

"I wanna thank you for everything you've done for me these last two years," he told her as a few tears fell down his face.

Marlena could sense something hidden in the tone of his voice, though she couldn't exactly pinpoint what it was. Rather than worrying about it, however, she raised her hand to wipe away his tears. She didn't speak to him, but once again leaned down to press a kiss onto the top of his head, all while hugging him to her in the process.

"Whatever happens, I'll never stop loving you, Marlena Claire," Bucky spoke again, his tone once again attracting her attention.

Marlena pulled away to look down at him, her brows furrowing in question and confusion, but before she had the chance to actually speak to him, Steve was calling her name. She turned her attention toward him, her expression urging him to continue speaking.

"Are you staying for the verdict?"

Marlena frowned and shook her head, "I don't think I can handle staying."

Steve sighed sadly and nodded his head in understanding before leaving Marlena to resume her moment with Bucky.

"You're not staying?" Bucky asked quietly and sadly.

"I'm sorry, Buck," Marlena told him. "I don't think I'm emotionally capable of staying."

Bucky frowned and swallowed the growing lump in his throat. "Because of me."

"Don't do that," Marlena chastised him. "I'll see you later, Bucky."

"Maybe."

"I will," Marlena shot back.

"I love you, Marlena," Bucky said to her as the tears burned in his eyes.

"And I love you," Marlena replied with a small smile. "Please don't ever think for a second that I don't, no matter what happens, okay?"

Bucky only nodded, and Marlena simply kissed his head again before taking off down the aisle. Bucky could only watch as she disappeared, unable to keep himself from wondering if he had just seen the love of his life for the last time.

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