You won't mind a long chapter right?

T/W: Mention of bullying, fat shaming.

"Yejin, you sure you don't want anything?" My cousin asked me, he was standing at entrence of my room. He was going out with his lover, they decided to have a date.

"No, just leave me alone." I mumbled, I was basically hiding inside my duvet. Not in mood of talking with anyone or having anything. I just wanted peace and solace.

"Okay, will bring back some ice cream."

Now I know why he was so popular in girls and why my bestie had a huge crush on him. With saying this he close the door and left. Once I heard the main door locking, I brusted into tears. Sitting against the headboard, I poured out all those emotions I was hiding.

My tears were of sadness, regret, guilt, anger, disappointment and many more mix emotions. Of course the outcome was intense, I was wailing; crying my heart out. The way these feeling were escaping my heart they weren't sparing any mercy on me. I covered my eyes with my one hand and another rested on my hurting heart.

Why it always happens with me? Why can't people let me stay happy? Why me? I must have done many sins in past life to bare all these shit in my this life.

To further make my situation bad, I switch on my phone, and open my and Yoora's conversation. As if fate was playing some sort of lousy joke, the messages which Yoora sent me when our exam ended, somehow they just delivered to me couple of days ago. I again reread those messages.

SavageBish:
Yejin! Look what I got

Something exclusive.

Do you know who is the
person crouching down?

Jimin!

Omg he looks so cute! And
chubby and squishy!

Yeah, so untrue right?

He look innocent, not like
a jerk he is now

Hey, Yejin don't mention
this in front of Jimin

It has a back story, I will
later when I will came back
from Jeju

***

Again I broke into sobs, what have I done. After hearing Jimin and Hana's talk on rooftop, I was confused. But the incident at the alley and this picture was enough to let me know, how fucked up things I have done in past.

Now I know every reasons and intentions behind his actions. He was wrong, but I was wrong too. I bodyshamed him, not knowing what it will affect him. I never meant to hurt him to this extend, never thought he will take my words to heart.

"I am not confident about
myself. I am a bit
overweight and fat."

"Yejin, I am not asking for more. Just listen to me. You told me your side of the story now let me tell you mine."

"Do you think you didn't ripped my heart? Do you think I would have never cried my heart out? Do you think you were the only victim? Ever think till what extend you broke me? Little do you know what had you did, little do you. Do you think I was the only one who hurt you? If you think like that, then stop because this is only half of the story which is known to you."

"I don't think so I look good in this suit."

"Till now I get insecurity whenever I'm near her."

His words rang in my mind, on top that boy didn't even tell me. He- developed insecurity because of me. And, he always hide this from me. He never made me realise what I have done, and I was so dense to understand.

But this wasn't the only thing I was crying for.

The alley incident.

How I'm going to face that? I'm so scared, I just want to disappear.

Should I tell this to Jimin? But no, I can't. This will only entangled the matter more. I don't have any option but to keep quite.

Suddenly, my mobile rang. My sobs stopped and wiped my tears but they kept coming out. I again wiped the hastily wiped them and tried to look at my screen but all I could see was blur. After few minutes and couple of rings my vision and voice became stable I saw my screen. My heart beat wild when I saw the familiar contact showing up. With a heavy heart I picked up his call.

Squishy

Accept | Decline

"Yejin?" His soft calm voice spoke from the other side.

"Yes," while my voice was total opposite of his. Hoarse.

"Yejin you alright?" He calmly asked.

"Yes, I'm alright. What will happen to me?" I lied, of course I'm not alright.

I'm messed.

There was a long pause at the other end. I could see him, lips pressed in thigh line. He knew I was lying, he always sense that. Of course, he's a better liar then me.

"Don't lie. If you're alright then why you aren't coming to school since two days?"

"I wasn't feeling going to school?"

"Yejin," his voice was stern, sounded like dad. "Tell me what's wrong or I'm coming at your home." My eyes widen, no I can't face him right now.

"NO! I'm alright! Just was feeling a bit down!? I think I'm pmsing! YES! I'm pmsing." I ended my statement with a forced fake laugh but end up cringing.

"Why are you talking in passive agressive?"

"I'm not!"

"You are."

"I said I'm not! Why are you pressing it?" I irritatedly asked him, hoping him to scare away from my fake mood swings, and to my luck he did.

"Okay okay, I get it."

"Hmm, don't come at my house. I'm fine."

"Okay."

"Bye."

"Bye-Bye." With this he hung up the call. I sighed and fell on my bed. I closed my eyes and put my hand on them, thinking about my future.

What is going to happened? How I'm going to handle to upcoming storm in my life.

Should I just ran away to Antarctica? Wait, I don't have money. Should I change my identity and transfer to other school? Wait, I don't have money nor my dad will allow this. Should I pretend I forget all my memories? It doens't matter, Jimin is going to hate me anyway. Yes! I can pretend I forget all my memories. But how? For that I must get into an accident. Should I purposely stand infront of driving car? No wait, that can actually kill me. I need something better.

I again sighed, my eyes were hurting, along with my head and heart. And now these useless thoughts weren't helping at all. I sighed, and stood up from my bed. I tried to find my fluffy slipper, but couldn't find them.

Great, very nice.

So I end up wearing those high knees sock which I was use to wear when with my middle school. Surprisingly, they still reached above my knees. They used to reach my thighs.

I looked myself in the mirror. Yes, I still look like a ghost. My eyes were red and puffy, entire face was swollen, my hair were messed. Carefully my hand reach at back of my head which had a small bump. I winced at I pressed it.

It brought back memories of the alley incident. And on top, I don't know what happened after I fell unconscious. The only think I remember is the beginning and after I woke in the same alley I fell unconscious.

I again broke in sobs. My legs wobbled but somehow I managed my self. I hastily change my short t-shirt to my t-shirt which was covering my neck and reach till my mid thighs. I combed my hair and removed that annoying short which was scratching my butt. I sighed while wiping my tears, tee which reached your thighs and knee length socks, perfect home attire.

I walked to the kitchen, I didn't knew why? Because I wasn't in mood to eat anything at all. I stood there, beside the counter and looked at the space. With shaky hands I grabbed a water bottle and drank some water to wet my dry throat. As I was drinking the door bell rang making me groan. I slammed the steel glass on marble platform.

I swear to god, Sungo won't let me cry in peace.

I slowly padded towards the door, I had to energy to be angry of whatsoever. Slowly I opened the door with uninterested eyes I looked up to Jimin, who was holding some bags.

"Surprise!" He exclaimed. My eyes widen upon seeing him. I didn't reacted much, just stood there with wide eyes. "Aww, my baby is happy to see me. I can see that in your eyes." He sassed and invited himself in my house.

"I thought since you're in bad mood, I brought you favourite snacks which will brighten up your mood. We have some ramen; your favourite one, chocolate icecream, some cheese tteokbokki, cheese cake, some chocolate and finally the show stopper; me." He end his sentence which a cheeky smile and flirty wink.

I didn't knew if I was really being mood or it was just his actions which touch my heart, my eyes teared. Jimin immediately panicked when he saw tears at corner of my eyes.

"Yejin? Hey, why are you cry-" He slowly walked towards me, but before he could complete his sentence I hugged him catching him off-guard. I hold him tightly, not wanting to lose him yet I knew I'm going to soon. I wrapped on hand around his torso and another on his nape, putting my head in his crook. I could feel my tears wetting his shirt.

I gasped while crying I felt him lifting. I brought him closer as I wrapped my legs around his hips. His both hands secured at my waist, and he walked towards the sofa; and gently sat down. My cries didn't died down yet, and the good thing he didn't mind me crying my heart out. Instead he just caressed my hair and back slowly, letting me know his presence; that he's here for me.

"It's okay Yejin, let it out. It's okay, I'm here okay." He whispered and continued to rubbed my back. I nodded and continued to weep meekly. And eventually, I stopped crying. No I was just listening to his heartbeats and calm breaths, enjoying his scent and warm touches on my back.

"Feeling better?" He whispered, while I nodded my head.

"Can we- can we just stay like this?" I asked him.

"And you were the only one who didn't wanted me to come." He chuckled and wrapped his hands around my back; somehow bringing me closer if possible.

"Wanna eat something?" He asked after a while.

"No."

"Why? I brought so much. At least eat ice cream before it melts."

"No Jimin, I'm not hungry-" my statement cut as my stomach let out those obnoxious sounds which made my cheeks burn in embarassment.

"Icecream, I want to eat icecream." I spoke while hiding my face in between his crook. He let out a soft chuckle before leaning in and opening ice cream.

"Spoon?"

"I'm kitchen, find on your on I'm bad in left and right."

"Okay." he tried to lift me up but I whined.

"Carry me." I whined.

"Look how you're behaving like big baby. Good thing your boyfriend has muscles." He praised himself and lifted me up along with him. He walked while I was clinging on him, my hands around his nape while his were in my waist. Soon he found a spoon and walk back to sofa.

"Feed me."

"You're demanding." He smiled and open the lid of the icecream. Low-key my eyes widen when I see the box, internally laughing how could I just dream about eat such expensive icecream. "And I love it." With this he take a small scoop and feed me.

"It's good." I hummed and open my mouth again just for him to fee me more. He smile and continued his action.

"You're not eating?" I asked.

"Nope, it's for you." My smile dropped as I realised, how partly he was lying.

"You're not eating because you're on diet right?" I asked bitterly, making him halt his action.

"No, who told you this?" He laughed while bringing spoon near my mouth.

"Your actions did." He fell silent.

"Jimin," I cupped his cheeks. He slightly winced when when my hand met his cheek.

"I'm sorry." I apologized, and slowly caressed his a bit swollen cheek. My eyes feel on his lips which now had a small cut.

"You were there, weren't you?" He asked, his voice was shaky.

"Y-Yes, I was. I'm sorry, I didn't meant to."

"It's okay, you were suppose to know this sooner of later." He sighed and again feed me.

"Mind telling me everything?"

"Why? You know-"

"I want you tell me."

"I-I don't wanna, nor I can. It just-"

"Then, I'm sorry Jimin." My eyes teared. "I'm really sorry. I never knew my words will affect you that much. I never meant to hurt you, but-" I again started sobbing.

"Yejin, p-please don't. It wasn't your fault. You didn't know how I look. It was me, it was my mistake."

"No, you told me how you were yet I pressed it. Told you so man horrible things without knowing how it will effect you. I used to think it hurted your ego, but never thought once that it might effect you mentally. I'm so sorry." I heard him sigh, he cupped my cheeks and made me look at him. He gently wiped my tears.

"Yejin-"

"Forgive me Jimin, I really hurt you. Now I understand why you always eat less food, or why you always give yourself criticism. I'm the reason for everything bad-" he gently pressed his thumb on my lips making me shut.

"You remember Jinmin, my older sister? Remember how I told you she used to bully me? Since I was three, I've heard her calling me fat, ugly, pig and so many words I can't say. Constantly telling me to kill myself, nobody wants a fat kid like me. She nicknamed me extra. Because I was last friend to join Bangtan group, and I was different from them. They were smart and good looking, popular with girls. In short they were perfect in every while was just good with books. Because of her I became introverted and had slow self esteem, all because of my sister. Not only that, you see how Minho was talking shit, she even made her son like her."

What a horrible sister she is.

"After getting rejection I was heartbroken, I never thought you'll reject me, that never crossed my mind once; because you were so kind to everyone, so cheerful I never ever thought of that. When you rejected me, I won't lie I was hurt, I was hurt pretty bad. 'Even my crush think I'm pathetic.' I thought of this, and decided to change myself, hoping you will love me back. I enrolled in your school, and was so excited to finally meet you but you rejected me again, mention that crush if yours—"

"That was none other than you." He pressed thumb in my lips again.

"Let me complete everything. I really got angry, so angry and heartbroken. Because— I went to diets like one meals per ten days, 16:8 diets and so much exercise. 'I went to so much and she again rejected me.' No doubt, sixteen year old Jimin was dumb. I'm really ashmed of that."

"Jimin, you weren't dumb. I know how you feel when you get rejected, and one top your crush make you feel pathetic everytime. If I would as stupid as you, I would have take revenge too, so please don't be." I spoke and in return he nodded but soon stop when he realise what I mean.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean—"

"I pretend I didn't heard that, so now we okay?"

"No."

"Why?"

"Because there is something I wanted to tell you."

"What?"

"Jimin, you are beautiful. You aren't ugly or shit. I have never seen somebody as beautiful and pretty as you. From inside, and from outside too. You're aren't fat, you don't need to be on diets and you don't need to eat less. You're perfect the way you are." I cupped his cheeks, and looked into his eyes which were wide and glistening, I felt his heartbeat escalate and cheeks blushed profoundly.

"These chubby cheeks of yours are enough, you don't need any abs to look handsome. You eyes are the best features of yours, you plum lips; dang those plum lips of yours are to die for. Your cue nose is so boopable. Your milky skin is exquisite. The mole at your collar bone is so attractive. Your hands are perfect, your thighs; they are so— I'm sorry I shouldn't be saying this but they are so sexy. Ever seen yourself in mirror? If I would be you I would never stop praising me. I just can't believe, I don't think but your sister is just pure blind. You used to look cuter before, so squishy and irresistible. You were as much as beautiful as you're now. If you would have send you picture, we would be having three year relationship." I huffed after speaking my heart out. I looked at Jimin, whose eyes teared and soon he broke into sobs. He covered his mouth with his hands.

"Jimin— you even look beautiful while crying. You look handsome when you smiling,while crying, while pouting, while you srunch your nose or when you roll your eyes or when internally judge someone. So please, stop criticizing yourself, stop thinking yourself low; love yourself Jimin." Tears welled in corner of my eyes and I brought crying Jimin close to myself.
He encircled his arms around me and cried, cried his heart out.

"You have no idea how much I needed to hear these words. Thank you Yejin."

"Don't thank me baby, I just describe you; just help you to know who you are." I caressed his hair while he nodded and wiped his tears.

"But how did you know how I used to look?" He asked, confusedly.

"I— it's not important."

"If you say so."

"Hmm." I hummed and looked at him. I slowly leaned in just to quench at sudden desire to kiss this baby who was looking at me with puppy eyes. I gently pecked his lips, once, twice, thrice. I felt him smiling and he tried to kissed me properly but I didn't let him and continued to kiss him my way, and I kissed him again until I feel satisfy just to peck his entire face.

"I love you, I really love you so much that you can't imagine."

"I know," he replied. "And I love you too, more than you can ever imagine." He smiled and kissed my forehead making me smile.

"Oh look the ice cream melted. I really wanted to eat this ice cream." He pouted when his attention went to the melted ice cream tub.

"You can still eat it."

"How? It's all melted." I smirked a little when I heard him. I scooped at little bit and smeared it on my lips. I looked at Jimin who was looking at me with wide eyes and parted lips. He gulped harshly but didn't moved his eyes away from me. Again I scooped some, this time a litte more than before smeared on his lips. I looked dead in his eyes while covering his lips. He opened his mouth a little and licked my both ice cream covered fingers.

"Now we both can eat ice cream."  I whispered and leaned into captured his mouth in deep kiss, tasting the cold ice cream within the kiss. Slowly and sloppily kissing him, grabbing his collar to brought him closer. He slightly opened his mouth again and I entered my tongue inside his mouth, teasing his tongue, exploring his hot mouth I gently bite and moaned in the kiss making him groan. He grabbed my hips and started to kiss me hungrily.

"That's really new way of eating ice cream." He panted as soon as we parted.

"I know a better way." I whispered, and removed my tee in one swift. Again his eyes widen, of course why wouldn't; I was giving him many surprises. Good thing I was wearing matching. I felt him getting hard underneath me and slowly I started to move my hips on his crotch while biting my lips.

"You're really having mood swings don't you? Some moments ago you were crying, and now humping on my dick." He spoke while biting his lips. His eyes closed and and head fall back.

"What can I do? My boyfriend is so sexy." I smirked while I unbuckled his belt.

"Jimin, will you do something for me?" I stopped and looked in his eyes with seriousness.

"Anything baby."

"Then make love to me. Today, I wanna feel every inch of your love." I whispered, while leaning in to place a kiss on his lips.

"Today, I'll let you know how much I love you."

***

"You turned a fluff moment into sexy." Jimin spoke while eating some ramen he just cooked, eyes focusing on his laptop which was playing a movie.

"Didn't I said I can't help because my boyfriend is too sexy. Besides, we both enjoyed it." I replied while chewing. We were sprawled on my sofa, it didn't matter how small the sofa was or how uncomfortable the position was, we were too much into each other presence.

"And you call me horny when I do this."

"You do this everytime, mine was exceptional."

"How?" He asked me with puppy eyes, but in replied I just smiled and rolled my eyes.

"Because you're horny everytime."

"That doesn't make sense!"

"Shush, keep your focus on movie and ramen." I pointed towards the screen, and he obliged. My heart ached when I saw how the female lead's boyfriend was cheating on him.

"Jimin-nie,"

"Yes Yejin-nie,"

"Imagine, just imagine okay. This movie wanna make me ask you this question. Don't take it seriously, okay."

"Okay."

"Imagine, you find that I'm cheating on you. What will you do?"

"Oh my god, don't make me choke on my ramen." He laughed while covering his face.

"Jimin, what is so funny?"

"Your question." 

"Ouch— hey!" He yelled when I hit his back. "You hit me where you scratched my back." My eyes widen when I heard this.

"Oh my, sorry."

"You better be, my whole back is full of scratch. Cut your nails!"

"Oh, no. I'm growing them for now." I replied while examining my nails. But soon my eyes widen.

"Jimin reply me or I'll hit you again."

"Okay, first of all; you would never cheat on me."

"Why?"

"You're a simp for me. You're so fucking whipped, you just can't do that."

"What if somebody tells you that I'm cheating on you."

"I would do everything in order okay. First, I would refuse to believe them. Second, punch thier face hard. Third show them how simp you are for me." He replied while slurping.

"And what I'd you see it, like any pictures or you catch me with someone." His smile fell and he replied.

"I would ask you, why you did that. What I did wrong and what makes you cheat on me."

"Really?"

"Yeah, then maybe I would cry my heart out, become depressed or angry something."

"You— you won't take any revenge or something." He didn't said anything but flick my head.

"I'm ni6t an immature any more. I'm grown up so yeah I wouldn't take any revenge. It was 'revenge in love is so sexy' for old Jimin not this one."

"Is that so?"

"Hmm,"

"So what will make you to take revenge?"

"I don't know?"

"Really don't know or you're hiding."

"Why are you asking these sort of questions so suddenly?" He perplexed.

"Nothing, this movie made me think of that, after all this movie is all about cheating and revenge." I replied and finished my ramen.

I sighed and looked at Jimin. I really shouldn't be doing this but I haven't option.

"I wanna sleep."

"Sleep?"

"Yeah." I didn't give him any chance and sat on him lap, encircling my arms around his nape.

"Good night." I mumbled, inhaling his scent.

"Good evening." He replied

"I love you."

"I love you too."

***

Jimin's point of view

Within few minutes she felt asleep in my arms. I looked at her, and broke into a smile. I couldn't help but placed a kiss on her forehead and continued to watch the movie. Evening soon turned to night. She was fast asleep in my embrace. The movie finished a long time ago, I was currently watching maid for gang. Last time I didn't get to watch it. I was wearing headphones, I didn't wanna disturb my baby.

Suddenly the main door opened, drawing my attention. I looked up to see Yejin's cousin, I forgot his name. Some other boy and Yejin's dad. My eyes widen when I saw her dictator dad— who stopped when he saw us.
Good thing she was wearing her tee, and I covered legs with my shirt. It would have been a problem if she wouldn't dress.

"Yejin," I tapped her. "Yejin wake up."

"I love you Jimin." She mumbled loudly making me blush.

"Yejin wake up."

"Noo, let me sleep. So soft."

"Wake up!"

"Jimin— I will scratch you more. Let me sleep."

"Yejin your dad is here."

"But I wanna sleep—" her sentence got cut as she hurriedly jolt up from my lap. In process of jolting up, her head hit my jaw making me yelp. Her eyes widen and she tried to check me. She tried to stood up but winced and hold her lower stomach. Her legs stumbled and she fall on top of me.

Well it was quite show for her dad.

She hastily stood up and secured her t-shirt, and my shirt which reached her knees.

"Dad! You're back. You didn't inform." She said nervously, while I put my laptop in my bag.

"I leave." I announced.

"I'll drop you. Excuse me." She grabbed my hand.

"Don't mind my limping, I stubbed my toe." She lied and walked out of her home while they were standing speechless. The apartment in front of Yejin's. I saw Sungo standing and beside, I assumed it was his mother.
I waved him and bowed his mother.

"Oh my god! Why dad is back?" She asked while stepping down the stairs.

"You siad I love you to me infront of them."

"I know." She cried. "He's going to very angry."

"Well—"

"How's you chin, I saw you crying." She cut my sentence.

"What? I wasn't crying!"

"Let me see." She asked as we reach near my car. "It is hurting?" She asked while touching my jaw.

"Not much, but if you kiss you can make it better." I smiled she sighed and kissed my jaw lightly.

"Now go, see you tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow." I pecked her lips and went to my care waving her bye.

"I'm sorry." She said while waving back.

"It's okay." I was confused while she was saying— today she really very weird. She even cried while we were making live. Apologizing frequently and all. I sighed, it is her mood pmsing.

"It is okay love. See you."

"See you."

***

A/N

What do think, why she was behaving like this? Want is alley incident? What is going to happen? Her dad saw her boyfriend.

Now what.

Stay tuned.

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