"Ek to itni kaali aur moti hai upar se Madam Victoria ke nakhre to dekho. Saas ko jewar nahi degi!"

(She is so dark and overweight and just see Madam Victoria's tantrums. Won't even give jewellery to her mother-in-law!)

Dusk came to eclipse the atmosphere all velvety black and this particular aunty came into my life to darken it all black.

I was made to sit on the sofa with a plethora of different varieties of women around me who were of course bowling judgemental balls-like glances as well as packets full of spines towards me.

They were basically all the Masi, Bua, Chachi, Taai of Lakshay Ji. And, the current gathering was meant to introduce me to all those ladies and of course, to discuss the upcoming first wedding night.

(Maternal aunts & Paternal aunts)

What a wonderful waste of time and energy!

But I think my very first impression was already tarnished. Almost all of them disliked me. It was quite evident the way they were gazing at me.

My mother-in-law's mood was as sour as the vinegar mixed in pickles. And after hearing the particular comment from her sister, I was now cognizant of the fact that she had already shared 'our secret' with everyone. I sighed and looked at my henna clad hands.

Life after marriage takes a complete U-turn, I realised this statement now.

"Look Lakshay Bahu, your mother-in-law is your mother now and her every command should be followed by you as a good daughter-in-law otherwise, log kya kahenge?" One particular aged woman tried to persuade me after taking my hands into hers and I could only mentally roll my eyes at her saccharine-like words.

(Lakshay Bahu: In most parts of India, women are called by their husband's name followed by the phrase Bahu which technically means Lakshay's wife.)

("Log kya kahenge?" - "What will people say?")

"Kya kahenge Ji? Badnami to hamari hogi na poore samaj me ki kaisi badtameez bahu le aaye. Na roop hai na body, phir bhi wo kya kehte hain....F....? Fuc...nahi nahi...feminism. Feminism! Aayi badi feminism ki dukan!" .

Another aunt launched her deadly rocket and their 'Mission Degrading Shambhavi' was going in full swing as each of their words was hitting right across my heart, breaking me at cyclic instalments.

(What would they say? The defamation will be ours in the whole society of what kind of wicked daughter-in-law we brought. Neither she has a beautiful face nor a good body. What do they say? Fuc...? No no....feminism! Huh...are you the shop of some feminism!)

"Sssh. It's okay. She's new to all this, she'll learn with time. We are here to prepare her for the night, aren't we? Let's talk about something positive, should we?".

Every household has that particular wise person who solves every dilemma of the protagonist and I think that person was this exceptional aunty and I inwardly thanked her as well as my Kanha Ji for saving me from further taunts and hurting words.

Finally!

"So child, excited for your first night?" the sweet aunt further asked and I was shy and coy at first but then a pang of anxiety surrounded my demeanour.

Would it hurt? As per the experiences of my dear friends and cousins?

Would Lakshay Ji be gentle with me?

Would he love me even after seeing my tubby love handles?

Would he?

My chain of thoughts was broken by my sister-in-law and I crimsoned more at her remark.

"Of course you are. Every bride is. But make sure, he uses protection, right? You're meant to enjoy a couple of years with each other before planning for a baby as it'd be too quick." It was Lavya Di this time who sounded genuinely right and I could only nod my head a little with a shy but awkward smile on my lips. She whispered the last part in my ears as the elders would never mind the so-called 'good news' to reach their languishing ears.

I too didn't desire a baby right now. I wanted to enjoy my married life with Lakshay Ji for a couple of years and then, plan for a baby.

Why so much hurry!

I pondered and later on, I was advised by the women party to have Falana number of babies, the satisfaction of husband and his needs, worship of father-in-law, mother-in-law, and whatnot.

(so and so)

∘◦❁◦∘

The scent of jasmine, roses besieged me along with the scented candles.

Our room was adorned the very same way Indian daily soaps' showcase every first night.

It is believed that the sweet, natural fragrance of the flowers creates a romantic mood for the couples to begin the new chapter in their life together. But...what if the couple don't even know each other that well?

Isn't sex an expression of love?

Fu*king can be fu*king awesome when the couple really fu*king love one another a whole fu*king lot.

Oops. I swore a lot. Sorry. But yeah.

I mean, is there that kind of love between me and Lakshay Ji?

Would I be able to surrender myself wholly to Lakshay Ji?

From inside, I was on the pyre and from outside, I was profusely sweating even in the blasting AC.

My hands were shivering and my teeth were cluttering.

What was happening to me?

It was as if Lakshay Ji would eat me alive. I was apprehensive and in a cold sweat.

And, finally, the drum rolled, though mentally and Lakshay Ji entered inside the room.

I noticed everything from the sheer maroon veil and my heart started palpitating at a brisker pace.

It was time. The time was near. It was my virginity's last day. I will be a woman in all senses.

I halted my hyped mind and noticed my handsome husband.

"Hi," he greeted me but his voice sounded a bit offbeat. I couldn't pinpoint whether it was due to some cold/cough or maybe.......just maybe.....alcohol?

I stilled when I noticed his body movements.

He was drunk.

"Shambhavi....my god, such a beautiful name," he whispered and slumped on the bed, startling me with his reflex yet an unprecedented movement.

My hold on my knees congealed when he tried to touch my hand.

Everything starts with the hand and ends with a full-fledged lovemaking session without any love, technically. I have seen it on TV and in movies. Really.

His mouth reeked of booze and I felt nauseated with his companionship. I didn't want anything to happen right now when my husband was in such a ruinous state. I couldn't let it happen.

I couldn't give my bare self to a drunk person. I couldn't...before I could've planned something more, he pulled my veil and brought me closer to his chest with a jerk.

My bosom hit his hard chest and for the first time in my life, I was so close to a man. It felt extremely strange. I felt humiliated by the way he mishandled me.

He could've asked me to remove the veil, no?

If my heart was throbbing earlier, it was swinging now. I never felt so apprehensive and pitiful. His behaviour was unusual....very unusual and it was intimidating me. I closed my eyes in lieu of his dangerously close form.

I felt as if I was punished for some obscure blunder of mine.

"Strip," he commanded after pecking my nose.

I opened my eyes and stared at him in a daze. Was he really going to...?

He didn't even ask my permission whether I wanted this or not. A drop of tear left my eyes followed by another..some more...and I was eventually a crying mess.

My all lovey-dovey dreams about this matrimony seemed to be crushed and abused.

"Don't cry. I asked you to strip...so strip," he came near my ears and whispered, almost seductively.

"You're drunk...it'll not be appropri..."

"Shhh. I am just asking you to strip right now," he added further and I stood up from the bed.

I knew I was meant to be bare tonight but I didn't know that I would be surrendering myself bare to a drunk Lakshay Ji. I hated to do this but his commanding voice made me serve him.

It took me priceless pounds of humiliation and embarrassment and fifteen minutes of hard work to eventually get rid of all the pieces of jewellery and heavily embroidered apparel that was embodied upon my body.

I was wholly naked with my hands covering my bosom and my head lowered with tears dripping down. I never thought that this would turn out like this.

I never expected him to turn out as a jerk. He was going to use me....before my agile mind could make some more conclusions, his voice overjoyed me.

He examined me earlier with his hawk-like eyes and then finally stated, "You can wear your clothes".

I never felt so elated to wear something until now. Yippee!

I am safe!

Phew! It was so close.

But my euphoria was short-lived when he further asserted.

"This marriage was forced upon me, otherwise I would have never married an ugly girl like you. I won't touch you ever. Your body is so disgusting along with your face. I would never fu*k your awful vagi*a. I would..." Before he could spit any more brutal and heart-shattering words towards me, his whiskey did its work and he dozed off in a second, leaving a partially paralysed and a wholly unclad woman to grieve forever.

════ ∘◦❁◦∘ ════

Hey guys!

I know I updated after a month but had some health issues. Pardon me, please. Also, please share this story with your friends!

Will be updating it once a week. (Will try my best)