Lakshay Bhardwaj was the name of the guy with whom I was currently having an interchange of opinions regarding life, career, country and whatnot. More than chit-chatting, I was glimpsing at him periodically as if he'd vanish in thin air.

Kanpur has good-looking guys, but I bet, I hadn't seen such a stunning face ever in the bustling alleys of Kanpur. He had that kind of personality that could make people stop in their tracks and take a concise look at him, and in the end, exhale a whiff of air.

We were allowed to have a private talk on the premises of our small garden which consisted of some mango and guava trees, giving comforting shade even under the scorching sun.

I could nevertheless notice some of the neighbouring aunties who were honestly playing CID-CID right now with their other kitty friends via their mobile phones. Ignoring their presence, I turned my attention towards Lakshay Ji.

(Ji is used as a symbol of respect in India)

"Shambhavi Ji, what do you really want in your husband?" he asked me straight after we were supplied with the orderly discussion related to our qualifications and career, respectively.

"Umm...I want a partner who can accept me as I am. Who loves me, cares for me, and most importantly, who respects me. Lakshay Ji, can I ask you a question if you don't have any problem?" I noticed the small smile that was on his lips when he nodded his head at my query and I asked further, "Can I complete my PhD and later, do a job as a lecturer?".

I got to know that he was the director of a famous coaching centre and his business was operating in a lucrative manner. So, when this impromptu question left my mouth, I didn't know.

I was an MSc in Physics but still unemployed as my parents confined me to be inside the camouflage of the four walls of our residence as they dreaded the Gangs of Kanpur!

What would happen if some goon would kidnap their overweight daughter in the broad daylight?

They wouldn't be able to show their face to anyone if this would ever happen.

They feared a species called 'Men' whose scientific name is 'Homosapiens'.

They feared them so much that never in my life I have toured any other beautiful state of India, forget about visiting any foreign land. I wasn't allowed to go outdoors even on school or college trips; and just a fact, I was a student of girls' school and then girls' college all my life.

"Shadi ke baad jahan ghumna hai ghum lena apni Pati ke saath".

(After marriage, wherever you want to roam, roam with your husband)

This line was the favourite signature tagline of my beloved mother.

Chucking my parent's traditionalistic theories behind the back of my mind, I asked the question to Lakshay Ji, praying that his family is a bit more advanced than mine.

I noticed a frown appearing on his face, and then he replied, "I don't have any problem with that, as long as you don't submerge yourself in your professional life so much so you don't have time for us".

His honest yet thoughtful reply made those constrained butterflies flutter inside my stomach which was trapped for so many years, almost a decade and a half when I was a teen and the Indian Entertainment industry left no stone unturned for launching heroes as attractive as Hrithik Roshan.

I was crimsoned at his reply and looked down at the table and then it clicked in my mind that the tea was now as chilled as the cool breeze which was wafting past us.

"I am so sorry, it just slipped my mind to serve you tea, shall I warm it or make a new one for you?" I prattled and a gentle tap on my hand calmed down my racing horse-like heart.

His touch felt so.....

I couldn't even get the exact word, silly me.

So.....heartwarming.

He chuckled at my awkwardness and spoke gently, "It's completely okay. Anyway, I am not very fond of tea and coffee."

And just like that, we conversed for an hour and after coming to a mutual conclusion, we decided to enter my house.

It was a yes from his side and I couldn't thank my Kanha Ji enough for this.

I was sober from outside, but from inside, I didn't miss a step from any of the great dance forms that India has produced. I envisioned myself dancing like a madwoman ranging in dance forms from Bhangra to Kathakali.

I chuckled shyly and promised to give a treat to my best friend, one and only, Kanha Ji, "Get ready for a Butter party, Kanha Ji".

But my happiness was short-lived. It faded the moment we put our feet inside my home.

"Mishra Ji, aap to jaante hi hain, hamare samaaj me bina dahej ke shadi hoti hi nahi hai. Ab pariwar itna accha hai, ladka itna accha hai to kuch to banta hai na. Aur, ye sab to aapki beti aur damad ka hi hoga na".

("Mishra Ji, you already know that in our society there is no marriage without a dowry. And, the family is prosperous, the groom is great, then in exchange for that, you should give something, right. And, all of this will belong to your daughter and son-in-law only.")

I heard the same woman saying this, who I thought was a pleasant lady. But, 'First impression' could also be synonymous with 'False impression', I discerned this thing just now.

At this very moment, I wanted to terminate this alliance because I couldn't marry a guy whose family desired a breathing Bank for their house and not a breathing Bahu.

(Daughter-in-law)

But, the wrinkled and folded hands of my ageing parents and their heart-wrenching words put an end to all my bravery and rebellion.

"As per your demand, Samdhan Ji, we'll give you 50 lakh cash, plus a four-wheeler along with arranging every ceremony is our responsibility. We are ready to furnish everything whatever we have got to you, Samdhan Ji. I just want my daughter to be happy in your house. Even if it comes to selling our house, we will sell it for her happiness".

(Child's mother-in-law is called Samdhan Ji)

I didn't know that my parents could even think of selling this very house that they had built after countless years of their struggle with their blood, sweat, and tears. Speaking of which, the warm gush of tears started streaming down my eyes and I somehow contrived to gallop inside my room with treacherous tears making their route to my neck.

"Why Kanha? Why? Why did you make me a girl? Hn? Tell me?" The muffled cries could be only discerned by my pillow as I continued sobbing against it, questioning my Kanha that why every brutality belonged to the fate of a girl.

The marriage alliance was long forgotten; I could only remember the folded hands of my old parents, with their vulnerable eyes.

"Is being a girl a sin, Kanha? If society is so against the birth of a girl child then why don't you stop sending girls on earth, my almighty? Tell me?".

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"Shambhavi beta, have some sweets; they are ready to make you their Bahu".

I was weeping silently when my mother came inside my room with a tray in her hands, consisting of assorted Indian sweets. I could observe her super-beaming face; I had never seen her this happy ever.

Maybe a daughter's marriage means everything for a mother. That's why my mother was so euphoric.

I pushed away the sweet that she was going to offer me and asked her sternly, "What were you saying regarding selling this house?". I knew she would try to dodge this but my glaring eyes made her spill the harsh beans.

"We'll manage all this, Beta. Please don't worry about it." Only I knew how much assuring she was trying to sound but pathetically struggling at it.

She sounded desperately helpless and I knew I was the reason behind that.

A pang of guilt and remorse surfaced in my heart.

"Why dowry, Maa? You're giving away your most precious thing to them which you have preserved for almost thirty years, then why?" I pleaded with her and shook her shoulder to make her understand that whatever she was doing was not right, ethically as well as legally.

A cry left her lips and she immediately covered her mouth with her hand, "This society doesn't work like that, Beta. Without a dowry, a daughter can never be married off to someone. This tradition has been going on for centuries. Only if you want to live a life like that of a Brahmacharini, can we avoid dowry. But I don't want my daughter to choose such a life".

(Female ascetic)

And, I knew that was the end of this conversation.

I succumbed to an eternal stillness that what rituals followed after that went unnoticed by me.

Only one thing was going inside my mind.

What if my parents become homeless because of me?

Would Kanha Ji ever forgive me for committing such a sin?

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So, how was this?

I know dowry might sound very foreign to some people out there, but yes, it is an in-fashion trend.

The more high-grade the profession of a bridegroom is, the higher his bid.