*Authors Note*
I am probably going to be switching through covers a lot because SassySatanX has made so many wonderful covers for me to choose from, and they are all amazing. Thank you so much! And if you need any covers guys, I suggest you go follow her and check out her book. Love you guys. And don't forget to vote.😉💙

WARNING! This story involves abuse, self-harm, thoughts of suicide, and sexual assault. Please do not read if any of these could trigger you! If you ever think about committing suicide, please call: 1-800-273-8255
If you ever feel the need to self-harm, please call: 1-800-DONT CUT (1-800-366-8288)

Hi, I'm Emberlynn, but you can call me Em. Let me tell you a little bit about myself. I am about to turn 18. I live with my dad, who beats me. I was abandoned by my very own mother about 4 years ago. And people just don't like me. I try to cover up the pain with a smile. I always brush off the cruel things people do and say to me. I also cover up the bruises and cuts on my body. Whenever someone asked, I just make up a story. I either fell down the stairs, I ran into a wall, I fell off my bike, etc., etc., etc. You get the point.

No one ever really cared anyway. Only a few people asked, and eventually, they stopped caring too. No one has ever loved me. NO-ONE! Everyone hates my guts. When people pass me in the hallway, they would either call me a killer or a murderer.

Now, let me tell you the story of how this all started. It was back when I was 7. My sister, Jessica, was only 5. We were playing tag. We ran around the yard a few times, that's when she started to catch up with me, so I ran across the street, to the huge field. I don't know why we weren't there before, but we weren't. Well, anyways, I ran across the street, and Jessica of course followed. Not knowing a pickup truck was headed her way, she just... stopped. In the middle of the street, she stood as I hollered for her to move. Again, she just stood there. She didn't make a noise until everything flashed before my eyes.

I ran towards her limp body as fast as I could, hoping there was more time, but when I got to her, she just- she... cried. She whimpered as I held her close, pulled her warm body into my arms. Only enough time to tell her I love her, that I was so sorry.

Blood soaked my hands as she took her last breath. Her heart took its last beat. I held her close as her tears soaked my shirt, and mine soaked her already wet, pink frilly dress. "I love you too" was all she could get out in between her cries of pain. Her last words, only a whisper, but opened up a whole new world inside my undeveloped brain. Thinking of the good times we had together, but somehow, it ended like this. Her smiles, her words, her life, all for nothing, because in the end, she died. She's gone, and she's never coming back. I killed her. I killed my baby sister. At only 8 and I am a disaster. A disgrace to humanity and all who live in this cruel world. I should have been the one lying on the cold hard ground, not her. She would get to grow up and be happy. Everything would be so good. She would barely even remember me. I would be nothing but a faded memory. Everything would have been better off if I was never born.

I can't believe she is gone. I miss her so much. Every day that goes by, I die a little- no, a lot more inside. I have no more life left in me. I am nothing but a worthless, empty shell. I died a long time ago. I may still physically be here, but my heart and soul are far gone. I just... I can't do this any longer. All I can remember, all I can think about, were those blood-soaked daisies by the road, her tear-filled eyes, and my blood stained hands.

~*~

Everyone is better without me, I thought to myself. No one cares. No one will notice my absence. Maybe a few will think for a minute, but I will be nothing more than a distant memory. One that no one will ever remember or think of. No one will cry, no one will be sad, it will just be over. My mother already decided that I was dead to her the moment she left me with that drunken bastard I call a father. It's okay though, the suffering and pain will soon be over. It doesn't matter to me anymore. I don't matter to anyone else anyway. The time will come when I come face to face with death. I will look it straight in the eye and scream, TAKE ME! That time will come sooner rather than later, considering tonight's plans. I decided I would go to school this day, just one last time, so I would at least have the chance to forget the pain of this morning. Maybe walk through the park one last time. Put the gun to my head, pull the trigger, as simple as that. I never thought it could be so easy until now. I guess I have been so damn close minded. Never thought this day would come, but the pain has become too intense. Too intense for anyone matter of fact. Locked in my room, left only to come out when needed to clean or be beaten. He didn't care for me. He only used me as his slave, a way to take out his frustration and anger. I cried through all of the lonely nights, which could have been spent laughing and playing with my sister, who would now be 15. Having her first boyfriend, doing makeup, falling in love, but I took that all away from her, and it can't be changed, ever. That's why I must do what I am planning for the future of today. The guilt, pain, and frustration are all becoming too much.

~*~

I finally arrived at school. When I went to my locker, one of the most popular guys at school, Mason Flyn, was standing at MY locker.

"Excuse me Mason." I whispered as he moved out of my way. After I put up my backpack, I turned around, and he was still there. Everyone else was already in class. It was just he and I. His hands slowly and gently moved to his dark hair, brushing it back from his flawless face. His perfect green eyes stared into my bluish ones.

"Hey, I've been meaning to ask, will you maybe, um... do you, maybe wanna hang sometime? You and I?" He asked with a shy smile. He has to be kidding, right? No one likes me. I'm the least popular person in the school. He has to be playing me. There is no way I will ever be anything more than a loser, a monster. He knows it, I know it, and it is inevitable. My future will end in the ruins. Tears run down my face but I quickly wipe them away.

"You're kidding. Right?" I asked. He looked curiously at me. Kind of like I was dumb, or like he didn't understand. Maybe he thought he was making a mistake, he looked me straight in the eyes with concern, but concern for what? Why would he even care what happens to me? He doesn't even know me. He watched for the years that I was tortured and tormented. He didn't say a word until now. Why the change of heart. Why the sudden amount of sympathy? Maybe he is the crazy one.

"Hey, don't cry. Please, I'd hate to see you upset. You can trust me. We can talk if you want. Just name a time and place. It doesn't matter to me. But what does matter, is that you are happy. I see the tears slip out of your eyes, and wonder what I could do to make you feel safe. Please, let me do that for you. Give me a chance. " He insisted.

"I hardly even know you. How can I trust you? I've been tortured for years, and now you want to protect me?" I yelled, not meaning to sound as harsh as I did. He seemed shocked, and I apologized.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound so harsh. Um. I've gotta go." I trailed off as I swiftly turned around and started to walk away. All of a sudden I felt a hand on my wrist, pulling me back.

"Please, wait. Don't leave, let me talk to you. Let me show you that things can get better." He said calmly, though his grip on my wrist was tight. Pain shot up my arm from the recent cuts I have made, and I managed to escape his grip.

"Oh my god, I am so sorry. Did I hurt you?" He said worriedly, looking into my teary eyes.

"I'm fine, it's okay. You don't need to apologize. Just please, let me go." I pleaded.

"Can I see it? Your wrist? Did I leave a mark? I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you, I just wanted to talk." He mumbled quickly, still looking worried and concerned.

"Well if you want to talk so badly, then let's talk." I said aggressively.

"We can go outside if you want. I know a quiet place. It's really nice and calming." he said kindly.

"Yeah, sure. Whatever." I said quietly, not thinking twice about it. So we walked through the halls quietly, not to interrupt a soul. He finally took me to a door, leading outside. It was quite warm, though I was wearing a long-sleeved shirt. He lead me through the schoolyard and we finally reached this beautiful place. There were many flowers, but the daisies grabbed most of my attention. More tears slipped from my eyes and I wiped them away with my free hand. He lead me to a bench drenched with hanging flowers, a weeping willow beside it. It's leaves hung low, making the bench just barely visible. We sat down, and he looked into my teary eyes. I suddenly felt a warm hand on my face, wiping away all of the tears. This, made me cry much more than I had been before. I haven't felt this much affection since I was a young child. No one has ever acted this way towards me before. My eyes became flooded as I fell into his chest. He held me close to him as I cried for the longest time.

"Shhhh. It's all okay. I'm here for you. I will always be here. I won't ever leave you, I promise." he whispered to me. I pulled away from his chest and looked deep into his eyes, seeing that they were teary as well. I wondered why he was crying. Had something happened to him as well? He came closer, pulling me into a hug. His muscular arms wrapped around my waist, as mine went around his torso. I felt his heart beating close to my chest as he pulled me closer. Suddenly I felt something warm trickle down my arm. I quickly pulled away, and he looked at me in confusion. He then noticed the bloodstained sleeve and pulled me towards him. He quickly grabbed my arm and pulled up the sleeve, seeing the scars and cuts. His eyes widened as he held onto the bleeding cuts tightly.

"Ow! Stop! Let me go!" I yelled at him.

"If I let go, you are going to bleed out. Please, let me take you to the hospital." he begged, pulling me to my feet, taking me to his car. I struggled to get free, but his grip only tightened.

"Hey, I only want to help, and if you don't let me, you are going to die." he said quickly.

"I want to die!" I yelled. Things quickly became silent, and both of us were just shocked by what I just said. Why the hell did I have to say that out loud? He then refused to let go, dragging me to the front seat of the car. He suddenly pulled out a first aid kit and wrapped gauze and stuff around my arm tightly to stop it from bleeding.

"Please just let me die!" I begged.

"I can't do that Em." he said, getting in the driver's seat and started the car.

"Why not!" I yelled at him, trying to open the door, but it was locked.

"Because I care about you! Okay?" He yelled back. I don't know what to say to that. Does he really care about me? This is what being cared for feels like? I stay silent for a minute, then all of a sudden, I felt him pulling me closer to him. He ran his fingers through my hair, as we got closer by the second. When his lips grazed mine, I was shocked, but I kissed him back. Electricity ran through my body as we kissed even longer. Then, he pulled away and started driving.

~*~

"Please don't make me go Mason. This is self-harm. They are going to put me in a mental hospital. Please, I can't go there." I begged and pleaded.

"Calm down Em. Everything will be alright. They won't put you in a mental hospital. Okay? But right now you need to get stitches before you bleed out." he said calmly.

"But how do you know Mason?" I questioned quietly.

"I don't, but if they try, I won't let them. I will tell them that I am your soon to be husband and that we are getting you help." he assured me.

"Okay..." I whispered.

~*~

The doctor walked in and quickly unwrapped my blood covered arm. She took it in her hands and stitched the cuts quickly.

"Ms. Jacobson, how did you receive these cuts?" The doctor asked. I stuttered, trying to lie, but Mason flat out told her. I stared back at him in shock and anger, but he only meant well.

"Okay, what did you do this with?" She asked calmly and concerned.

"Um... A blade Ma'am." I shamefully whispered.

"Have you ever thought about committing suicide?" she asked. Offhandedly, I quickly replied with a simple 'no'. Mason looked at me with a slight bit of anger, but mostly concern. He knew I had lied, but he should understand. She asked a few more questions before sending in someone else.

In the short while that Mason and I had alone, we talked.

"You lied to her, didn't you?" he asked.

"Yeah, I did."

"Why?" he asked simply, looking disappointedly into my eyes.

"Because if I told the truth, they would have locked me up in a mental hospital. Please try to understand."
The counselor walked in and asked the same questions the nurse asked previously. More questions kept coming, but I was ready to leave. Finally, things finished up, and they let me go.

"I told you everything would be okay." he whispered, pulling me into a kiss. I loved the feeling of his lips on mine. I felt so loved. I felt like someone actually cared. I love him. I just meet him, but I love him. How can this be? Finally something to live for. Finally something to care for.

"Um, should we head back to school or something?" I asked.

"Whatever you want, but I suggest we skip school and go somewhere else. We only have a few hours left, and we don't have any of the same classes together. Right now I just want to be with you. I want to talk to you and hold your hand. I want to see you happy for once. I don't think you would be happy at school out of all places." he said kindly. My heart pounded as I shyly replied "okay."

"So maybe the park?" He asked

"Sounds perfect." I smiled.

~*~

We walked slowly through the park, watching the beauty around us. Mason lead me to the bench and we sat down together. He pulled me close to him, and I laid my head on his chest.

"How are you feeling?" he whispered quietly into my ear.

"Better I guess." I whispered back before getting a bit louder. "You know, no one has ever made me feel this good. You make me feel happy. You make me feel safe. I'm so glad that I have something to look forward to when I come to school. Maybe I can finally be happy." I trailed off.

"Hey," I whispered, and he looked back down at me. "Can I tell you something?" I asked. He looked concerned but quickly replied. "You can tell me anything. You can trust me."

!WARNING!~Suicide is mentioned. Skip if you need!

"This morning," I breathed in and out hard. "before I met you, I was planning to kill myself. I was going to shoot myself right here in this park. I was going to do it after school. But then I met you, and you made me see things a little bit differently. Of course most things will still be as bad as they were, but now I have you to brighten up my day."

"I'm always going to be here for you. Just remember that, okay?" he said quietly.

"Okay." I whispered back, pulling him in to hug me.